My 14 Year Old Daughter's Lonliness

Hi,Its so hard to be a kid now adays.Help her to find what she is really interested in as a "hobby"(painting-writing ect then join clubs with the same venu).Once she explores her own real interest she will learn more about herself and that will help her find people with the same interest.One must like them selves First.She sounds like a great kid.Good Luck hope this helps

im a mother of 3 i have a 16 and 9 year old girls and a 12 year old son....we dont live in the best of neighborhood so some of the friends my kids have i would rather them not be around ....if you live in a house its a little harder for neighbor kids but in apartments, usually kids go outside or kids in school, join clubs, etc...she has to put herself out there .....my 16 year old used to expect people to come knocking at her door but now since she has made the first step she has made alot of friends.....we live in vegas also.

C., I know what you are going through from first hand experience. My dad was in the Air Force and we moved very often and ended up with three different high schools. I believe that middle school is the worst of it. Girls, especially, have a rough time due to the lack of self esteem issues whether they have always had it or not. When it was me, it always took about a year to make friends and get adjusted. Now a days, parents and kids are different so the kids aren't as free to go hang out as we were able to waaaay back when (27 or so years ago :o)). We have just moved to Henderson less than a month ago and my daughter is going through a little of the same. She is 13, in 7th grade and an A student. Feel free to contact me if you would like to try and get the girls together or come up with other ideas.

I am going to tell you something that you aren't going to want to hear, but as a kid I grew up here in vegas. We moved here when I was 10. I am now 31. As I am sure you can figure this town has grown quite a bit since then, but one thing remains it is a very lonely place. Even when I was a kid and had many friends, they weren't always the best influence. This is a very transient town, many of my friends from good families would leave, it seems too like a cycle every couple of years that you must make new friends here. There are no roots here. Even my husband who is a native doesn't have any good friends he's known since a kid, it is the town. You daughter sounds wonderful, if you plan on staying involve her in many activities, but be aware that there are many people here who do not share your value system, and your daughter goes to school with them. Also, be aware that many of the kids come from homes where the parents work at night, and their kids party or get in to trouble because no one is watching them. Sorry, I know this isn't what you were looking for, but at the moment my family is trying to get out of here, and while we make great money here, that is all this town is good for.

Teenagers are usually lonely and depressed. It's tough being a teen, expecially in a new place. Making friends in this town is particularly hard because most people tend to stay for short periods before moving away. If you want your daughter to socialize with people her age, then expose her to other teens by involving her in more activites such as going to her high school baseball or basketball games, signing her up to play softball or soccer, volunteering at the library, etc. Check her school website for ideas. Don't go with her, just drop her off so she can go and hang out. The next time you get concert tickets, give her one or two tickets so she can invite and go with some of her friends at school (instead of her parents). She has friends at school, she just needs an excuse to ask them to do something with her outside of school. She's probably still angry at you guys for making her move and is hoping if you see her so unhappy that you'll decide to move back from wherever you came from. Try not to worry about it or make it a big deal.

Have you tried Girl Scouts? My daughter (13) has been in Girl Scouts since she was in 1st grade. Now that she's a teen (and we've moved to Las Vegas), I'm so thankful for the program. She's with a group of girls who come from different communities and backgrounds and different schools. They work together as a team, go and do fun things, and help out in the community. Most people think it's just about the cookies, but it's SO much more. They run different programs and even trainings (babysitting that includes First Aid!) throughout the year. Different kinds of camps during the summer. Here's the website for the council... take a look, she might just get interested. http://www.frontiercouncil.org/

Hi I move out to Las Vegas when I was 13 and it was hard for me to find or make friends that enjoyed the things that I enjoyed. Because transient town friends are hard to come by...Its gonna be hard at first, give her time, hang out with her sometimes. Once she gets over being homesick and missing her old friends she will be fine. If I can be of help just let me know.

A little about me
40, divorced, 15 year old daughter soon to be 16

When I was raising my 3 children in our 3 moves over the years I always tried to take them to church first thing so they would get acquainted with hopefully some good children before they got into the school system. We also live in Las Vegas now and the school system scares me. This is a hard time for kids and parents without having to worry about the schools.

get her inot some activites..like sports, gymnastics or dance. That way she can meet some girlsfriends there. Also try to get to know some of the moms from her school...and arrange some play dates...

Your post really struck home with me. One of the few moves of my childhood was in 7th grade (I was 12). I considered myself a fun and friendly person...also with straight A's (I found that made it harder sometimes, being the new AND smart girl), but was also a bit shy, especially in such a new and vulnerable environment. I remember crying every day after school for at least a week. It was horrible. I hated school, felt alone, and wanted to move back "home". I recall my mom coming in one day when I was so upset and said she was sorry I was having a rough time, that she loved me and encouraged me to stay positive until I felt better and I made good friends. I didn't really hang out with friends for at least 1 or 2 years, but I kept myself busy reading books and babysitting in the meantime.
Although it was a really tough time/trial for me, I believe it's shaped me into a better person today. I was able to observe others a lot and decided what kind of person I wanted to be and who I'd like to be friends with...definitely NOT the mean and self-centered groups. I also started ballet at that time and made friends there. I auditioned for the Nutcracker (didn't make it, lemon juice in the wound!), but did make other groups later on, which boosted my confidence immensely. Plus, I felt extra grateful for those experiences after the bitter ones. I eventually clicked with a good group of girls I'm still friends with. That's my story, which I thought you might find helpful (maybe?).

So, be patient with your daughter and the current situation. I'd suggest getting her involved in something she likes to do (as others mentioned) to allow herself to open up and boost her spirits and confidence, continue showing your love for her, make yourself available to talk to (she may not, but NEEDS to know that she can), and even suggest she pray for friends or at least to feel happy and comfortable in this new place. It may take awhile, but with your encouragement, love, and gentle guidance she'll eventually come out of her cocoon and fly once again!
Best of luck,
N.

Is there anything she is interested in arts, sports ect that you can sign her up for a class? I was like this as a child but tended to make friends pretty good despite moving a lot and shyness. I was lucky to have church at the time that is where I made most of my friends. But if she is in a class (there are a lot around town) she may be able to make friends at a more intimate level. I would also get her a journal to write in as that helped me release a lot of my frusteration when I was her age all the way through my 20's. I really hope you can find something for her and kudos for staying involved with her and not letting her be completly alone becasue some parents wouldnt hang out with their children lonely or not! :)

Hi, We moved around alot when I was young. I was shy too. The best thing is to join a group like sports, dancing, club at school, church group, etc. You find other shy people who need friends too. Just enjoy life. Aunt Maddie

ok i dont know ifshe is athletic or dances but ihave coached cheerleading for 12 years and i have found that it helps kids with their shyness there are school teams, all star teams and rec teams . dont let the name all star teams scare you yes you have to try out but most gymnastics gyms have cheer classes that teach tumbling. and if you make the team they are also train you and they are not always looking for experience, they look for potential and desire as well. my daughter is on desert cheer extreme and absolutely loves it and her coaches .all we do is compete and we travel a little to california. just something to think about .and all my ex cheerleaders have become very comfortable giving speeches and being infront of large crowdsthanks to competion.its not just pretty girls in skirts. go to desertcheerxtreme.com check them out
R. good luck

I have a 14 year old daughter, too. I also have a 7 year old son, & a 17 month old daughter. What kinds of interests does your daughter have? My daughter is in 8th grade heading into 9th shortly, but we have restrictions and boundaries of things she can do, etc. She has brought up the "but my friends' parents...." She is getting older, but she is still our baby... Anyhow, if you would like to set up a play date for the two; let me know. I will be more than happy to help cheer your daughter....

I am 30 yrs. old & married, too