Hi mamas!
My ex-husband is in a band. He wants me to bring our son to his "gig" on April 30th. I told him no way that he's only 2 and a half years old! He told me that he's almost 3 and how his sister brought her son to one of his shows when he was 3 years old. I told him that just because his sister was that irresponsible doesn't mean that I will be. Ladies, what I'm wanting to know is if there is a website or something online that I can send him to prove my point that it's bad for a child so young to be exposed to such loud music. I want to send him something because I am afraid he'll take him to one of his shows during his time with him. I would never know. Thanks ladies!
Thanks ladies! I sent him the links about the decibel levels. I did also offer him a compromise--if he buys Dylon the headphones and calls us right before his band goes on, then we will bring Dylon for a little bit. Thanks again!
This might do it:
http://www.childrenshearing.org/custom/hearing_health.html
or this:
http://www.michdhh.org/health_care/ear_care.html
Both sites classify loud rock music as having "dangerously high" decibel levels...
Use earplugs and let him go see his daddy play. You're lucky he is asking you to take him instead of sneaking him there with someone else. Its important to the father. Someday you may need your ex to be flexible with something.
I started taking our kiddo to Daddy's shows when he was about 2. When he was that little we just used child sized gun range ear protection. When he got older we'd have 2 options; the gun range ones or drummers ear plugs (they allow sound in, but cut out the high and low frequencies). I'd just bring both, and we'd wear whatever was appropriate.
My own hearing is ridiculously acute (the Navy tried to co-opt me from the USMC for sonar work), and is even more sensitive than most childrens'.... and the whole "mosquito" ringtones and etc that only kids are supposed to be able to hear come in loud as day. I always wear drummer's ear plugs at concerts.
So ear protection for us has never been a problem. He won't keep the on, we go home.
Big venue shows are the easiest... because we can dance in the wings, and 1/2 the time don't even need ear protection, although we'd still wear the drummers ear plugs as long as we could still hear the music, just to keep the habit consistent (all you can hear is from the monitors)... but small venue shows we'd be out in the audience. For those shows, he'd ride my shoulders, and wear the gun range ones. Kiddo has LOVED both. Also the couple of times he's gotten to go up on stage with Daddy (one time when he was 5 the drummer let up pop up to drum a few beats).
You may actually find the "hardest" aspect, not being hearing... but re-entry. Many states don't allow re-entry to minors... and some bouncers are DUM (b purposefully left off). Most of the time though, as long as the venue gives out VIP passes, you'll be fine. Our favorite "home" venues the bouncers all know us... and they stamp kiddo's CHEST (instead of wrist), and have him do a muscle-man flex showing off his stamp in order to come back in ;)
It's been a really fun experience for all of us. :) :) :)
I would NEVER just allow him to be by himself at a show, though. Far too dangerous.
I just recently read something about how the decibel levels at concerts are dangerously high: the level and the amount of time you are exposed to it.
That being said, I myself love going to concerts and I have seen parents with young children at rock concerts. Most of them were smart enough to make their kids wear headphones to muffle the noise. I'm not sure where you would get those headphones, but I have seen them on more than one occasion. If you think your ex might sneak your son into a gig, you should insist that he use headphones to protect his ears. He can still enjoy the music without causing major damage. Good luck!
My hubby is in a band too and I will be taking our 2 year old to see them play this summer. I would have taken her sooner, but there just haven't been any shows that were convenient (I don't want to take her to a late show at a bar...).
They make hearing protection ear muffs for kids. They are under $20. Have him wear them before you go, so he gets used to them...
I really don't think it's a big issue and your son would probably enjoy it...and now that I see your follow up - that is actually a great setting! The bigger the venue (and even better if it is ouside) the more opportunities to withdraw to a less noisy area for a bit, just hang out and watch people, or if it's outdoors, have a picnic.
Good luck!
I do not think it's a horrible idea as long as there is someone to watch your son while he's there and also as long as your ex makes sure that your son is wearing proper earmuff/phones so that his hearing is not destroyed.
I say this because my husband is a big aviation buff and we plan on taking our kids to air shows when they are older as long as they have proper ear phones!
I would be the most worried about having someone watching him and the ear thing...other than that, I don't think it's that bad of an idea.
Just my opinion though!
Oh my gosh I am totally with you..NO WAY!!! Could you ask your pediatrician to refer you to a specialist (ear,nose and throath doctor) that you could talk to? Decibel can be horrible for grown ups, I can't imagine what they'd do to kids!!!
I think you are being up tight. I think it's wonderful he wants to spend time with his son. Look at all the fathers who don't want to see their kids! I understand the loud music but there is such thing as ear plugs!! You really need to lighten up, or you'll be in for difficult times.
Just curious...what's wrong with taking him to vegas for a wedding? It's not he took him there to go to the bunny ranch!!
It sounds like you have decided against this, but I would still get the ear phones now. I took my son to his first concert when he was about 6 months old. He loved it, although it was in a smaller setting, and I was very comfortable with him being there. With his father being in a band, I'm sure that more appropriate settings will come up and you will want to be prepared. You can use the ear phones for other things too. I used them at a football game, and plan to use them this summer if my son wants to watch my husband mow the lawn. It will give him practice for wearing them later.
We got our son headphones for flying, or loud music. I think it's a great idea to allow your son to experience what his daddy does. He'd love it- especially if you took him! :)
The headset is called Peltor Kid, made by Peltor. They completely protect their ears and they are adjustable so they can wear them for five years or so. On top of that, they're pretty cheap. Have the dad buy them for your son as a "welcome to daddy's concert" gift. :)
Good luck, and have fun! :)
Everything in moderation. I don't see it as a big deal. Take him to a concert. He'll love it!
J. K,
You are right unless you make a compromise, you will NEVER know what he does with his son on his own time. I'm not sure ear plugs are safe for a small child (chocking problems), but talk to you ped. and let your former husband know what a professional say. Clearly, he is not interested in your point of view.
Blessings........
I would not be totally against this, depending on where your child will be, what kind of music, and as long as he uses ear protection. I wouldn't want my kid next to the speakers, but in a less loud place with something to protect his ears, I would be all for it, as long as it isn't something like heavy metal. Maybe ask your pediatrician for info on how to go about safely taking your kid to a concert. It would be nice for your son to occasionally be a part of this part of his dad's life. I intend to take my son to a concert while he is still little. I will probably choose an outdoor thing and get nosebleed seats, or go on the grass beyond the seats, but I think music is great for kids.
