My 20 Month Old Thinks He Runs My House!!!!

My daugher (17mos) only wants to feed herself now. So....I let her. That's great for her independence. I have a mat under her highchair and I use bibsters. They are great. She is getting really good at eating now too. I try to eat while she is still eating. The problem I have is that my husband is not home yet. When he gets home and eats, she wants to eat off his plate sometimes. What I have done is keep some veggies (like corn and peas) aside for her for that time. Sometimes I save a few animal crackers for when she is done..she loves them and would never throw them. The other thing I do is put her in her gated area. She may get uspset at first but she ends up playing with the toys in there. I try not to react to too much...just the really important safety issues. Redirections is the best key. Give them something else to do. It's not always easy but we do the best we can. Good luck!!

Hi A.!
A tip for tantrums-never let a child get control over you. You always have to lay down the law and stick to it. Its hard to hear your child scream and kick around, but if you figure out a plan of what to do when he does that, and stick to it..it will pay off. It will take a lot of time and effort and it will be easier to just give in than to try to ignore it, but this will only lead to a spoiled child who will think he can get whatever he wants from everyone. My best advice is to try something like putting him in the corner or a time out when he throws his tantrums, explaining to him that you are in charge, not him. As for dinner time, once he is finished eating, take the food away(move it to where he can't get it), or let him move from the table so he doesn't get everything all over and continue to eat your food. Try keeping some wipes/paper towels/wash cloth, whatever you use, close by so when he's finished, you can clean him up quickly and let him go play or something. Eventually if he sees that you're going to eat your dinner whether he wants you to or not, he should stop his tantrums.
Good luck!!

Let him stay dirty, eat your hot food, and pay no mind to how loud he is. Being dirty and unhappy about it isn't going to hurt him. Just explain you'll clean him when you're done. Or hand him a damp warm washcloth and go on eating your own meal. The more you give in to him the more he'll expect it.

Who's the Mommy and who's is the Daddy? You have to get down to his eye level and speak to him with a calm voice and tell him No, you don't do that. And keep at it over and over until he understands. You can put him in a time out chair place him in it for 1 minute. You have to try this several times but he has to learn now, that you are the parent. My oldest son is now 14 years and he remembers the time out chair. I always took a picture to show him how silly he looked in it. Try this, if you don't stop him now- forget about when he is older. You have to show him to respect you.

A., I'm really not sure what you should do, but I do know, it needs to be stopped NOW. I have a friend that let her children get away with things as they were young, and now, being 8, 7, and 5, they are pretty much out of control. Please, don't make the same mistake she did by thinking they would grow out of this, because reality is, they are growing into this style of behavior, and will push it as far as YOU allow them to go.
Maybe if you let him see your emotions, to let him see how he makes you feel, maybe even cry in front of him, tell him "mommy feels very sad when you make such a mess, and mommy loves, and wants to eat with you" You might even want to try feeding each other, to keep his mind focused on something other than waisting food, or give him something a the table that could keep him busy. I know he is a boy, but maybe he can pretend he is feeding a baby doll, you can get a cheep one from a dollar store, just see what happens. GOOD LUCK< K.

A.,

My suggestion as messy as it will be is to just ignore him and his mess. Eat and then clean him up. Dinner is not about eating and leaving the table when you are through. He needs to learn that when he is done he can sit with you until you are done. Let him get louder and messier. If you don't reward this behavior by giving in to him all of the time it will be less effective for him and he will realize that he is not getting down until you are done. Oh he will be mad for the first few times I am sure of it, but he needs to learn. I wish you luck with this.
L.

I had this same problem with my two little ones. I started them eating before I did. So when my dinner was ready they were both all cleaned up and done and would go play. They did not like eating with out us so they learned that they had to wait for me to finish my dinner before they got up from the highchair and or table. Try to nip it in the bud in him doing what he wants all day long. this could cause problems with friends later on, I know from my 6 year old, I have nipped in the bud with the two little ones and all is doing better. I just get them involved with puzzles and coloring or other activities then I do something that they want to do to show that sharing time and new things are intereting also.

What? Take control!! He's a baby! He should be done with his meal as soon as he starts throwing the food,take him out of the chair...he does not do these things purposefully...distract him with something intersesting and eat when he is playing or napping