Ok, my daughter is three yrs old. She is newly three, as she turned three at the end of Oct. She was completely potty trained this past june. She decided she was ready and she has been accident free morning AND night and hasn't worn a diaper since. The Issue? 20 minutes ago she peed on the kitchen floor. I believe she is mimicking the behavior of a little girl I just began watching (almost two weeks ago) during the day. This little girl is two and she is currently potty training. Unlike my daughter this girl has lots of accidents. Today alone she peed four times on the floor.
I have seen my daughter in the past mimick the behavior of others that she spends alot of time with. A girlfriend of mine was watching her a few days a week last summer and my daughter began talking exactly like her son, began throwing temper tantrums and winning exactly like this little boy...all of these things we did not have issues with until she started spending a lot of time with this particular little boy.
So (back to today) after my daughter peed on the floor I didn't change her right away, (I let her get a good feel of those wet pants) and I gave her a towel and made her clean up after herself. After she cleaned it up I took her up to her room and had her change into her pj's and put her to bed two hours early. I asked her why she peed on the floor and she said because she didn't pee in the toilet....I asked why she didn't pee in the toilet and she told me she didn't want to.
We had orignally planned to take her to the mall tonight to spend her christmas money and then have a family night out for dinner. Now I don't know if I should even take her to spend her money....part of me wants to tell her that since she decided to pee on my floor that I decided to give her money to her brother....but that seems so harsh....I'm so upset with her right now, but at the same time my heart is broken because I had to send her to bed early and because I honestly don't think she deserves to spend that money...I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing...I guess I'm just looking for some advice and maybe a little encouragement. It is so hard to discipline, you know you should and it is important for the child, but it breaks your heart when you have to do it and sometimes I'm not sure how far the punishment should really be taken.....like do I take the money away and give it to her brother or do I give it to her??? Ok, I am rambling. Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you all for your responses. Eva laid down and went to sleep when I put her to bed, but she got up a little bit later and I went upstairs and talked to her about what happened. This time when I asked her why she did it she looked up at me with her eyes full of tears and her bottom lip quivering and she said "I made a big mistake mama and I won't do it again" I cried then and felt even worse for being upset with her and putting her to bed. I told her that I loved her very much, but that she couldn't have accidents on purpose and that she needed to use the potty like a big girl and help me with our new friend who is just learning. I am not going to take her money away. I was just so upset last night, but during her nap I cooled down and it was best for the both of us I think. I just wish I hadn't been so upset with her, because I yelled at her and I still feel horrible for that....This morning she went in and used the bathroom and she called for me and said "Look mama I didn't pee on the floor I went to the potty like a big girl" I told her how proud I was of her and how much I loved her...she just smiled back and said I love you too....so I think our issue is resolved....I just wished I hadn't yelled at her! Thanks again everyone!!
I wouldn't punish her, odds are she sees the attention the other little girl gets when she goes in her pants etc and is trying to get a reaction out of you. My ped says to treat it very casually and it will basically resolve itself.
M.
My son Ashton has been potty trained since last winter. However, when he goes to his dad's house he has accidents. He turned 3 oct 22nd. Now I know that they are taking him to the bathroom but for some unexlained reason he isnt going. At my house he rarely has an accident.
I would not punish your daughter for peeing on the floor. I would talk to her about it. Do not shame her other wise she might have an accident and not tell you about it for fear she will be in trouble.
With the lil girl that you are babysitting make sure that your daughter gets praise for being a big girl. For not wearing diapers lil so and so. How proud you are of her for going on the potty.
I am a mother of 3 children and i know you issue. I have been thru it just recently. My kids are 4,3and 2. My 3 yr old is potty trained and my 2 yr old just started. They will do things like pee on the floor to get your attention because they see you give it to the other child. I at first felt like i had to punish him but that didnt seem right. So I started telling him what a big boy he was and how i was so proud of him and that he has to show my 2 yr old how to go on the potty like a big kid does. Everytime he goes i make a big deal of it. Eventually he stopped copying her. He loves now to show her that he can use the potty like a big kid. If you feel you need to punish just make sure the punishment fits the crime or it may cause a bigger issue later on. I hope i dont sound to harsh. I am just trying to help. Good luck.
I don't think I would punish her at all. She probably just had an off day. Having her clean up after herself was a great idea. This shows her the consequences. You might have the little girl you're babysitting do the same. I'm not sure how you handle it when that little girl has an accident. But, maybe your daughter was going for attention in some way.
In my experience, punishing children for potty or food issues ends up making the situation worse. It sounds as if she just wants more attention, and since I'm sure another child peeing on the floor got your attention, she figured her doing so would as well. However frustrating it is, she did get her attention from you... even negative attention fills that need for kids if they're feeling a little left out.
She is definately old enough to understand the basic concept of consequences. I personally feel having to wipe it up herself was enough. One accident shouldn't send you into panic that her potty training is somehow ruined, and I don't think you should take her X-mas money away from her. Perhaps just have a calm talk with her about how peeing in her pants isn't a good thing, and explain how proud you are of her when she uses the potty. Maybe asking her to tell you with words if she's feeling left out, or like she wants more of your attention. Of course, this only works if you're fully prepared for her to come to you several times a day (or hour) demanding some one on one time.
Good luck.
It's ok to be upset and to let her know and invoke some kind of punishment. But I think going to bed early is sufficient. Remember she is 3. She is not acting with malice. I would try explaining she is older and she should act differntly and reward big girl behavior. She is trying to get attention from you know that a new little person is taking some away from her during the day and the best way she knows is acting out.
Well, I know this is late, I was away and just got my emails.
I hope that you didn't take her money away. It was too harsh.
She only peed on the floor because of the new child that you are caring for. You had to give her attention because you were potty training her and so your daughter wanted some attention time too. Talk to her and let her know that you will spend extra time with her when the child you are caring for is napping or has gone home. Make a special effort to give her "grown up girl time" and I am sure she will adjust to the new changes in your household.
Hi M.,
I also have a three year old. If she only had one accident I wouldn't punish her to severly. Try and talk to her and explain the reason the other little girl had an accident. Then explain that it is not ok for her to have an accident on the floor on purpose. If she does it again maybe give her a time out or something not to severe. I believe in discipling but only when it is earned. Maybe the little girl you are watching is being potty trained to early. If she is having multiple accidents while she is at your house. Maybe she could wear pull ups for awile. I don't know if I was helpful at all but good luck.
Chris
Having her clean the mess up was perfect. That's what I've done too. But really her money is not related to the accident at all. So I wouldn't take it away or give it to her brother. I liked the idea of saving it. Kids need to learn to save their money for a later date. Talk to your little girl about being an example and teaching the other little girl to use the potty. Maybe she can take the little girl to the potty and show her how to use it. Let her be the younger girls cheerleader! I wouldn't worry about it too much...unless it starts happening all the time. Just give her special attention (maybe she feels the two year old is "intruding" on her mommy's attention) and keep applauding her use of the potty. Good luck...hope it doesn't happen again.
I think kids do like others for attention, You did great by having her clean her own mess.about the money, she is three don't give it to her brother or take it from her, open a savings account or something for her, I'm sure she has plenty of toys from santa,I'd personally save it for when she needs it. At 3 i know they want every toy they see,but half the time 5 mins later they are bored, I sat saving account and a little more attention for her, she is the oldest of siblings,and you have other children in your home, i know that feeling.Let her know she is a big girl and helps you out, and those smaller kids need her to look up too. good luck
