My 3Yr Wants My Stuff All the Time

Of course she wants to be just like Mommy :) But, like others have said, it's time to set limits. She can wear the lipstick when it's dress up time, but not when you're going out in public. What about getting her some of the chapstick that's colored? My daughter has some that's just slightly pink. I think it came from Avon, but I won't swear to it. The label is long gone too! LOL!
As for the bracelets, get her some of her own play bracelets. If she wants to wear them out, it's not a big deal. I wouldn't put a diamond tennis bracelet on her, but some fun little plastic bangles, not a big deal. My daughter is 3, almost 4, and she goes through dressy phases. She likes to wear her dressiest clothes to the grocery store. For me, it's not a big deal. I don't particularly care if she wants to wear her Sunday dress, tights and dress shoes or a whole armful of bracelets. I know I like to dress up and feel pretty :) Heck, sometimes I even let her wear her dress up costumes. Not a battle worth fighting!
Stop giving into her tantrums. By "obeying" her, you're teaching her that SHE's the boss. That's a horribly slippery slope that you DO NOT want to go down! Setting limits and boundaries is NOT being nasty. It's giving her structure. Just think, when she goes to school she's going to have structure and limits. You want to start that now so that when school comes she's used to it. Learning that we can't always get what we want is a very valuable lesson. Learning it early one is just as valuable! :)

I think that you need to firmly tell her NO. You're not being nasty to your child and I promise you that no-one, NO-ONE would think that you don't love your daughter because you set limits. You are the parent. You need to decide what the rules are, explain them to her in a way that she can understand and stick to it. Teaching her boundaries and respect for other people and their belongings is a very good lesson. This is not to say that you can't or shouldn't share and play, just that you need to set up the rules. Good Luck to you and her!

You don't have to be nasty - think of how you would talk to an adult who kept taking your things. You might sit down with them and discuss ownership and how you'd like to be able to share your things sometimes and not others. You can say "you may look at this one, but I'm wearing it right now." said really calmly. Stay calm, make positive statements ("you can have it later" instead of "no you can't wear that") and repeat, repeat, repeat. She will have tantrums, but you have to decide your "line". If it is OK to take things from you to wear while you are home but not when you are out, explain the rules before hand. She is old enough to understand that. Set her up with her own jewelry and makeup - we have a makeup brush and an empty blush container that my 3 yo keeps in her room. She likes to have her own baubles and such, so if she wants my makeup or jewelry, i can show her mine, and then remind her that she has some in her room. It works most of the time, but calm consistency is the key. Good luck!

why is it nasty to tell her no? why is this very small child in charge of what you can and cannot wear when you go out? she is too young to be your boss.
learn how to say no calmly and mean it.
khairete
S.

Tough one. But you are the adult and need to take control of the situation or you are setting yourself up for many years of your daughter running the show. When you say she demands that you remove your stuff, do you do it? If so, you shouldn't. Let her throw a tantrum. She does it because she knows that she gets her way when she does. You need to set the boundaries now before it's too late and stick with it no matter how much she kicks and screams about it. Once she figures that out, she will stop.

P.,
It's wonderful that you are teaching your daughter to share, but some things are meant for grown ups and you will teach your daughter patience if you teach that by setting limits.

Have a little drawer of things you can "share." But set limits on your other treasures and tell her they are for you and when she is grown up she will be able to wear things like that. If a trantrum ensues then you know you have to stick to your guns! Even if you give in 1/2 the time your little darling will be banking on the 50% in her favor, so you just have to stay consistent.

One more thing. All kids are different. With some kids all things are black and white....... no shades of gray. So I learned I could not do anything "sometimes" with him or he would expect to do it all the time and throw a fit. If your daughter is like he is, then NEVER share the jewelry, even at home, to avoid battles when it is time to go out.

Read the "Love and Logic" books. They helped us.

Do we have the same child??? My 2.5 year old is SUCH A DIVA!!! I cannot put on my lipgloss where she sees me or else she will scream on and on for it. She always watches me put on my make up. She is sooo smart. She names each item I use. Mascara, eyeliner, blush. you name it. She knows what all of it is! And most of the time I have to put my makeup on in a locked room so she wont bug me the whole time. "Mommy, mascara, mommy want some, mommy mascara wants some peeeessseee!!" I of course will just pretend to out some on her and she is happy with that. But she wants to be like mommy soo much!! It's cute sometimes, but then it does get on my nerves sometimes too. All of my accessories I usually hide in my purse and then put them on when I get in the car so she doesn't beg for them. One time she got in my purse and pulled out a tube of lip stain. She thought it was liquid eyeshadow (i have some that is in a sililar tube) she put it all over her eyelids and eyebrows and it stained them for 3 days! I washed and washed and it was truly stained! She had to go to church like that. So I really feel you. I just have to hide most of my stuff.

Maybe buy a "grown up" necklace and/or bracelette from Claires or something and wear it when you go out. When she asks for something of yours, give her those you bought for just that purpose.

Please be the parent. If you can not set limits with your 3 year old , how will you manage when she is 9 ,12 or 16 ? You do not have to feel that limits and disipline = nasty. Tantrums , no matter what the reason should never be tolerated. I think that young parents today have forgotten that they are "in charge" ..... these little people are not dolls to dress up , and they will grow into grownups someday. How that happens is up to you now.

Well for one you created a diva and now you want her to be a little girl. There is hope. One you need to tell her that she will not get what you get. When she ask for your lip gloss tell her no, and when she has a fit let her know that that is unacceptable behavior. When you play dress up at home make sure she has the fake stuff that you can buy at Toys R Us. Don't let her dress up in your things. When she demands to wear your thing when you go out tell her in a firm voice NO these are mommy's and you may not wear them. She will soon get the idea, but you have to be consistant and don't give in. I have a 3 year old grandbaby and she love lip gloss or lip balm as she calls it and she has her own. She knows that she can't use mind because mine has color. She has her own jewelry and she knows to stay out of mine, her moms and her aunties. I found her a cute little chest in Sam's Club that has dress up stuff; the shoes, plastic bangles, tiaras, clip on earrings, necklaces, and 3 princess dresses. She loves to get dressed up and play in the house. I hope that helps and remember she is young enough to re-train. She is not so old that she is stuck in her ways. You are the parent and she needs to know that so STOP sharing. If she doesn't have her own child version she doesn't get yours. Bottom Line you are the ,she is the child.

Unfortunately, tough love is what you need. I know it's just "stuff", but she is only 3. If you give in to her all of the time now, it will get worse as she gets older. It's not so much about the bracelets and earrings it's more about the fact that you are wearing them and you should not have to give your 3 year old anything just because she wants it. Explain to her, at a time when your not running out the door, that some things are for mommy and mommy only. Explain that you understand that she wants to wear them, but she can't always have what she wants, when she wants it. Think about it, if you were drinking coffee and she wanted it, would you let her have it just because she wants it? I know some moms that have done that ....."But he wants it". Let's just say that their children, who feel that they are entitled to everything now, are less than pleasant to be around. Good luck...just remember she will be a better person for it. Your not being a mean mom, you're just setting boundries, and that's a good thing.