My Adorable Almost Three Year Old Is Driving Me CRAZY!!!!

Oh yes, it gets easier! Three is much harder than two, in my opinion. It drove me insane! Add a baby in the mix, and you are probably in great need of a little me time, but have had none, and won't get any for a while. This too shall pass! The jumpy thing sounds like a good one, and so does a water table, the independent big boy stuff that he can do alone (and you can watch) which may make him feel like a big boy who can do things that the baby can't. Hopefuly, you can move on from hands on attention to words on attention and he will see how special that is.

You are going to be fine, some day soon!

M.

Try Jenga. If he doesn't want to play, or understand or have the coordination, he can build with the blocks and grow into the game later. Or just knock down the tower and rebuild it - that's fun all by itself. And stacking them to start the game is pattern recognition. Plus, the pieces are small enough that the baby can hold them, but big enough that he can't swallow them when he eventually tries to grab at them. Just remove a whole layer, and the game isn't ruined.

My older daughter and I also like those felt posters that you color with markers. We bought a huge one and colored it together - it lasted several weeks. We would just put it away, and then pull it out with the markers. Word of advice, though: buy better markers than the ones that come with the poster. A pack of washables.

And we had the opposite happen when baby became mobile. The jealousy shifted. Little sister now follows me and big sis around fussing when we have together time. It helps to have dates on the weekends. Sometimes big sister goes with daddy, and me and baby have alone time. Sometimes little sister stays with daddy at home, and me and Big have a date. Even if it's a brief trip to the park, or a visit to Home Depot, or whatever. The point is to take only one kid.

Hang in there, mama!

I understand, I had a 3yr old and a new born at the same time and yes it does get better. I honestly do not know why they call it the terrible 2's. All of my girls were harder to handle at 3. Its a time period where there brains are in overload and he probably is a little jealous of the baby.

If its possible try to find a mothers Day out or something and put him in 2 days a week. You will be surprised at the difference.

Sounds like your doing awesome with he activities.

The biggest advice I can give you is to get the 3yr old on the same afternoon naptime schedule that the baby is on and then when they are both asleep, lay down and rest yourself. I know your gonna say but thats the only time I can get things done. NO ITS NOT. Youll be surprised at how much more you can get done even when they are awake if your rested.

Good Luck

I think a lot of it has to do with his age. I was not prepared for how tough the three's were going to be. Our daughter was a newborn at that time too. Things do get easier as the baby gets older. One thing that helped and still helps me is getting out of the house regularly. I breast fed, so for a while our outside time was a little limited, but most days we leave around 10 and return close to lunch time. It breaks up our day and helps wear him out. Plus...he played on his own and I got a bit of a break. We don't go to expensive places...the park, indoor mall parks, walks, bounce house play places, play dates with friends, the library. Anything to get out of the house. It helps us a lot.

I just talked to a friend who knows someone with one of those "at home" bounce houses. She moved her dining room table and most days it doubles as a play room. I wouldn't want the noise or hassle at my house, but this lady swears it's the best investment she has ever made.

At home, when the baby was little, we had a few "go to" activities. Magnets. I learned on this site that you can use a cookie sheet and make them portable. So I went to the dollar store and bought my son his own cookie sheet and we had a shoe box of letter and number magnets. I also put stickers (sesame street and bob the builder, etc.) on those magnet pages you can buy at craft stores and cut them out. He loved the magnet. Color Wonder...it's by crayola. The markers and paints only work on the special paper, so there isn't too much of a mess. And glue. My son loved glue. So I would give him colored cotton balls construction paper and glue. It was a tad messy, but not too bad. That boy would glue cotton balls for hours if I let him. We wound up having to set a timer to limit this craft.

I have an almost 4 year old boy and a 17 month old boy and yes it gets easier-I think only within the past few months though-and maybe not easier, just different LOL. My son goes to preschool since both his dad and I work full time. Is that an option? HE is looking for socialization any way he can get it. Maybe a Mother's Group for play dates? I think in these situations, they need a little bit of independence away from their sibling with other children their age. Even state preschool, which is usually 3 days/week about 3-4 hours/day, if that's available in your area. Look for something where he can interact with other children his age, and give you a break as well.

Of course he is trying to get your attention.... whatever works... and the bad actions usually get immediate attention.. so that's exactly what he's going to do.
I would like to recommend including your son in the infant care that you have to do..
He can get diapers for you.. .get the pack of wipes .... help pick out clothes, bibs, onzies, blankets.... even help put cheerios in a bowl when you get to that point.
even help you fetch all the age appropriate toys for your infant.
He wants to be with you and you can use that as an opportunity to make him feel important.
How about a sandbox? .. scooping and dumping is quite a hit with my son. ... keeps him self-entertained for at least 20 minutes!!
good luck!

1. Yes things do get better when the younger one is mobile. My 8 month old just started crawling and now HE requires less attention. I actually had the opposite of what you do - my baby wanted me all the time so I couldn't do anything alone!

2. It sounds like you need to encourage/teach independent play. At his age, he's still not sure how to play alone. Get him engaged (playdo, cars, etc) and then tell him you have to do something and you'll be right back. Start with leaving him to play for five minutes then gradually extend the time. This alone time play is good for him!

3. Things you can do together - pretty much anything if you have a baby sling!!! Take walks and put them both in a stroller. Let your son walk with you and pick out things for a collage (rocks, leaves, etc)

4. I think the jumpy thing sounds like a good investment!! Plus the babyy will enjoy this when he is older.

5. My 2 year 9 month old daughter right now LOVEs stickers - give her paper and stickers and she'll sit for at least 1/2 hour. Make sure to buy cheap ones!! Teach him how to 'wash dishes'. Let him stand at the sink and give him soapy water and dishes (dirty or clean). He'll get water on him and the floor but then you can just wipe up the floor and PRESTO - clean floor!! Ask him to help with things other than with the baby "I sure wish I had a helper who can clean the windows." He'll probably volunteer. Give him some paper towels and spray cleaner on the windows. Or let him clean the bathroom mirrors with either shaving cream or a dryer sheet.

6. Coloring was a great activity when my baby was young because my daughter could sit next to me and we could color on the same page and I could hold/nurse my son.

7. Get comfortable with leaving the baby where he is - in the swing, crib (even when awake sometimes), asleep on the floor, tummy time, etc as long as you are close by so you can have some undivided attention wtih your son.

8. Once a week try to get alone time with your older son. Ask Daddy or a friend or family member to help out and even if it's at home (or the park or the grocery store), take him and do stuff with just him - baby free. Go on and on about how you are lucky to have a friend/buddy/older helper, etc.

9. Now that it is warm or getting warmer, take him outside. The more fresh air he gets, the more tired he'll be!! You can sit outside with the baby and throw him a ball or water balloon, have him play in his water table, etc. Send him on a scavenger hunt - (look for a yellow flower, a brown rock, etc). When in doubt, let him (or encourage him) to play in the dirt. Yah he'll get dirty but he'll have LOTS of fun! Have him dig some holes (if you have space/room for that) then fill with water. I did this with my daughter hte other day and she was fully content throwing rocks into the small puddle for like a half an hour!

10. Have him play with his food - literally. Let him paint with pudding (finger or with paint brushes), make cereal necklaces, paint on noodles then create a picture of them.

You will be amazed in a few months how much easier it gets. I think with me, it got a lot easier in just the past week because my son started sleeping better/longer and now is mobile!

I feel the exact same way!! My son just turned 3 & the baby is 5 months. I don't think I could make it thru the day without story time at the library. Even though it's hard, I feel like we have to get out of the house every day. We go for walks (baby in the carrier & 3 yr old in the stroller). He may be able to play with play dough or my son like candy land. It's just hard, but I was encouraged to see that most of your responses said it gets better. We're having trouble with the potty training thing right now to. I've just given up for now- it was too much. He'll do it when he's ready-at least that's what I'm telling myself.

I don't think he is acting out because of the attention you give to your newborn. Seems to me you have a very social child. If this is the case he will always want someone attention. My daughter has been this way since she was an infant. She is now 5 and she constantly talks! When she is grounded and can't do anything else she follows me around the house talking! Last week I tried to go outside and do some work in the garden because I just wanted some down time and she opened the window to talk to me! (when she is grounded she can't come outside) Because she was very socially inclined I put her in a mother's day out program 3 days a week. Helped me and her! She loved being around other kids and I loved the peace! My son was total opposite of her. Played by himself and was not much of a mile a minute talker. There are many good suggestions on here. All of which will help. I think you just need to get some time for yourself to relax.

Yes! Take your 3 year old to the inflatable jumpy place. I take mine about 3 times a week. He makes a little friend every time he goes and it gets his energy out. I'm in the same situation. My daughter is 5 months and my son will be 3 in August. I'm going crazy, too. I bathe once a week, never "do" my hair, etc...You might also find a group of moms that live near you to meet up with. That will take some pressure off of you--I think you feel you have to constantly entertain your son. Look up www.meetup.com and do a search. You'll find tons of resources there. Also, you'll meet moms and dads at the inflatable place that you can lean on, as well. Good luck and you are doing excellent!

My sister found out by accident one day while have a back yard BBQ, they had bought something (unknown to me) that was in a large card board box, it was setting by the side of the house, the kids found it and spent most of the day going in and out of it, as a fort, she brought out some colored chalk and they drew on it and still used it. you can even throw a large sheet over the top like a tent., And the answer to is he wanting to see if you still think of him while holding the new baby YES, see if you can get him to help, getting diapers, bottles,(water) or you could pump and let him feed the baby while you are sitting there next to him (husbands like this also). By pumping you can also take a long sit down bath or shower while someone else feeds the baby,(husband) some alone time for you. IT WORKS it did for me.

I have a preschooler and a toddler. As hard as it is, don't get upset with your 3yr old for being 3. He didn't ask for a baby brother or the stress that goes along with caring for both of them while still nursing. I am nursing my toddler, I work and I have to listen to my preschooler. It is tough on me to give undivided attention especially when I am dead tired, but you know what, it's not them, it's us and our lack of time. The older one will feel the negative energy and make it worse. My suggestion is to try find something for the older one to occupy himself that he likes and/or play with the baby while including him. I posted something like this before and the moms gave some good advice. Nurse while you play/listen to the other one works.

The best thing you can do for him right now is find ways to get him around other kids his age. Do you have a car? Can you take him to storytime at the library and local parks where other kids are playing? It sounds like you guys had a full day, but don't you get cabin fever? I bet he does. He just wants someone to play with, and right now his only option is you. He does need to learn to occupy himself, too, of course. Yes, I found that once my second child was old enough to be a playmate for my firstborn that it made my life a bit less crazy. As for games, just hit the toy store (or local thrift shop, plus garage sales) and look for the recommended age on the box. There are plenty of games for his age, and have you been doing puzzles with him? Puzzles are great because once you work with him a few times on one, he can do it himself and that gives you a few minutes to breathe!

Yes, of course it gets easier or there would be no third children! It's wonderful that you are so involved but it would help your son if he learned to play alone some, also. (Something he probably could do better before he had a sibling taking up attention!)
My saving grace was McDonalds or Chik Fil A. You have to eat lunch- go out. I would take my son out to eat- they have healthy stuff which he will eat if that's what you start him with- and then he would go play in the play area and I would sit there peacefully with the baby watching. Some weeks we went out 3 or 4 times a week!
Also he is not too young to have friends. It was worth an afternoon of having two three year olds to get a chance of having NO three year olds. Does your son have any little friends that you could switch off with the other mom? Make it a standing date. You have both of them on Tuesday. She has both of them on Thursday.
The park or playground. You can hold the baby in one hand, push a swing with the other. Get some sand toys and encourage your son to play in the sandbox if there is one. Sugar Land has a great aquatic park for the summer, there is also one near the zoo in Houston.
And - get a Children's Museum membership! One summer there were three of us with memberships and we 3 mamas would take TEN kids, eat lunch and sit outside and watch them play. On the really hot days we would find a spot inside and let them play. Since they have redone it the inside area is not as easy to plop down in- but outside is great.
If your son has friends to play with- he won't need you as much. Mother's Day Out is also a wonderful, wonderful thing! All three of my teenage kids still keep in touch with their MDO friends. Good luck!!
(And personally, I thought three was easier than two...)

Here are some great suggestions by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D and more of his ideas on this issue can be found at the link below:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/01/24/...

Nothing unsettles the lives of children quite like the birth of a sibling: special event for parents = profound disruption of familial bliss for children.  Some children take it in stride, but the majority may not. Having a sibling forces children to share the wealth in an important and healthy adaptation to living in the real world. 

You got a lot of ideas of activities, which all sound great!

But I would like to reiterate the importance of all your children learning to play alone as well. Not all day, obviously, but in some ways that is becoming a lost skill in our always stimulating culture! To be able to be alone for a bit of time and handle it well is a good thing! When mine were this age (I had 3 before the first one was 4yo) we all had alone time every day in the afternoon. But we started the alone time practice at even 1yo - just a few minutes with an age appropriate toy or book, training them to stay put for a while as I have directed, either in a play pen or on a blanket at the young age. This helps them with so many things - lovingly directing them back to the blanket, to choose to stay where I have asked them to stay, knowing they will be fine and be able to happily occupy themselves. They grow in a skill and I have a moment to gather my thoughts and regroup.

We continued to have room time/alone time/quiet time up into elementary ages. Everyone was better for having some time apart and some quiet.

HTH!

Yes, it does get easier! As I recall, ages three and four were especially tough years for my kids, and I'm sure it must be even harder when you add a new baby into the mix. I think it's really important to get him involved with the baby's care, and to talk to him about how things were when he was a baby. Even show him pictures of himself at this stage, so he knows he used to be the same way. And now look how lucky this baby is to have such a great big brother (even though big brother is still a baby himself and needs lots of reassurance). Tell him about the things you used to do for him, and how you and he together can now help the baby with those same things. And how lucky you are to have such a great helper!

Can you hold the baby in a carrier some of the time so your hands are free? It's also a great idea to get the older one as much physical activity as possible. Now that I'm writing this, I remember I was about that age, living in an apartment in Boston, when my parents got me an indoor jungle gym and slide. They were a hit for years! Don't know how that compares to a jumping toy. I used to jump on my parents' bed like crazy. Even did flips.

Oh, and I run a daycare center here in my house. I decided to mount a flat-screen TV on the chimney over the fireplace and leave the whole family room open for active play and dancing. Everyone loves it. Sometimes we play the wii or just wrestle or build with big toys. The baby might even get a kick out of it if you leave him/her in a seat to observe. When baby gets a little older, you could leave him/her on a mat or in an exersaucer while you do more active play with the older one. That's how I manage to keep eight kids busy and happy all at once.

It's also not a bad idea to let your oldest go somewhere else a couple of mornings a week - MDO, or something like it. When I had my last child and my older ones needed a little extra TLC, a friend of mine would take them a couple of days a week for a little preschool-type activity and free play. It was wonderful. I think it's important to use that judiciously, though, so your son doesn't feel like he's being sent away too much.

Best wishes. Hopefully one day, in the not-too-distant future - they will be playing together happily.

Sounds as if you need some down time by yourself. Get your husband to deal with the children's needs on a weekend day so you get some rest. Since you are nursing, you might express some milk so it can be there for the baby while you go out to a movie or a massage or just for a walk for a couple of hours. You need to periodically re-energize yourself. Then you're no good to anyone of you don't take care of yourself. If that's not doable get your husband to take care of the baby, including feeding, while you spend some time only with your toddler. That should help.

I have a 4 yo and a 6 mo, both girls, but we have experienced some of the same. I would suggest giving your older boy some more responsibilities so he feels like a big boy and doesn't always need mommy's attention. If he isn't already, he could clean up his toys, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, match up clean socks from the laundry, get diapers and wipes for you to change the baby, etc.

I would recommend reading the book Siblings Without Rivalry. It's great for anyone that has more than one child. This book helps you with making the older child feel more secure.

Homemade play dough is easy to make and may occupy him for a while. Leap pad learning system or another electronic game may hold his interest while you're nursing or holding the baby. A board game like Memory or Candy Land is easy to play with him while holding baby. Keep up the individual playtime with him. You're doing great!

Before you know it the baby will be up and moving and they will be playing together. I have an 8 month old son and a soon to be four-year-old daughter. My daughter will get on the floor and entertain my son while I'm making lunch or doing the dishes. She is great at making him laugh. I'm able to get some things done while they are busy bonding and playing.

J. (Mommy of five and happy wife of one!)

Oh J., I don't mean this meanly or rudely; as I was reading your request I keep hearing that country song You going to miss this. . . hehe. But I understand your exhaustion, Bless you Heart. Mine are teenagers, a different kind of exhaustion lol, but I remember the days you are having. Have you looked into a Mothers day out? It would be a nice break. Maybe even a HS babysitter can come after school couple days a week. You can take a little Me time. It all does get "easier" so to speak.
You a doing an awesome job!!!