My Autistic Son

Who does she work directly under? Talk to the school superintendant/director. If no responses, tell the police and file a report against her. That will get their attention.
Liz

If you haven't called the police and filed a report, DO IT TODAY! Then, get a lawyer NOW! Do not wait for the holidays to be over! This is unacceptable!

Personally, I would not let my children go back to that school.

I am shocked that the principal/superintendent hasn't addressed this problem. I would contact PAVE or hire a lawyer to draft a letter to the school emphasizing what the law is and what action you want.
http://www.washingtonpave.org/

Hi M. - Unfortunately your situation is not unheard of. Today there are many "para" staff who are not fully educated or don't have the understanding or training to deal with special needs kids. Coming from one special needs mom to another, you have to remember that you are your child's best advocate. I am not sure what state you are in but here in Idaho we have several options. I will do my best to cover several things you can do regardless of what state you are in.

Have you documented in written form the incident? I will send you a private message with a Gebser letter (too long to post here). This will help document your issue with the school district and gives you "ammo" to deal with a formal complaint, etc.

Take the time to go to Wrightslaw.com, they are wonderful & you can sign-up for their newsletters. Because you will be dealing with the school district & IEPs for a long time, if you have a few $ I recommend ordering their books, especially From Emotions to Advocacy! They even have Webex trainings available. They have packages that include the training as well as the above book. I found this to be extremely valuable in dealing with my broken rural school district.

Check around your area for a special needs parent support group. Get yourself hooked in. If you don't have one in your town check the town next to yours. If you don't have one & know there is a need in your town, start one. We live in a rural town & have a good group of parents. We meet together once a week to offer support, ideas, etc. We also share info via e-mail of resources that we receive.

Dealing with rural districts is very tough especially when some administrators fill several roles. Plus you also have to deal with the "good ol boys system" that is in small communities. Because of this the best way is to start documenting everything, keep a log of observations, communications, behaviors, etc. If you don't already have a log start by thinking back & writing down everything (including what people said, what they were wearing, etc) that you remember as well as dates or approx dates. This will be your saving grace in the long run. Remember in your communications to use the "letter to a stranger" approach (see wrightslaw.com for examples). Don't come off as a pissed parent, come off as a concerned parent and concerned tax paying citizen. You will get much better results. I know this from personal experience.

I assume that your son is on an IEP? Send a letter to the IEP Team that you want to have an IEP meeting to talk about your son's progress as well as his placement. Due to Christmas break you wont have this meeting until January, which will actually be good because you can educate yourself lots during that time. I would not necessarily retain a lawyer yet but contact a local advocacy group for your state. In Idaho we have Co-Ad http://users.moscow.com/co-ad/ and I am sure that what ever state you are in there is a similar agency. Many times depending on the situation they can provide an attorney at no cost! Many times they are limited to how many cases they can take due to funding but they can also offer you suggestions & ideas or other agencies to help you.

After you have an IEP meeting & IF nothing is accomplished then contact your State Dept of Education. Go to their website and review the special education manual for the complaint process. Again use this vacation time to dive into learning (use this special ed manual as a Bible). You can file a complaint with SDE over this action of the "para" and the lack of support of the rest of the IEP team. Unfortunately this can be a long drawn out process but the more you know and the more you document the better things will be in the long run.

Do you have a service coordinator for your son? If so have them help you with this process as well as attend any meetings. If you don't look into obtaining a professional advocate to assist you. But the more you educate yourself the less you will need a professional, especially if money is tight. Sometimes if a child is on Medicaid that can help cover the cost for service coordinators & advocates. Sometimes just taking a friend that knows your son to meeting will give you the support you need too.

It is possible why the governor has not responded back is you have not followed the "chain of command" yet. The above steps can help make that happen. Being in a rural area I would recommend contacting your local state representatives since they may know of better "back roads" to use. Your documents (logs & letters) will help these elected individuals feel for you and your sons plight with the school district.

With all of your background work done and if you feel that your local paper is not in the "good ol boys" group you can talk with them about a story about your son. The major thing to be careful of is using the "para's" name. Depending on how the article comes out you could be in for retribution from people who wont believe you & blame it on your son instead. A way to help with this is try to get a few parents of special needs kids together (local support group) and have the local paper start writing stories about living with kids with special needs. Using this approach will help the local community see these kids as real kids and start to feel for them. Many times we "adults" don't see the special needs life until it hits us in the face. For me I did not know about this until I had to start dealing with it myself. But once there people in the community will help support these kids! This support is a great way to then help make changes in your school district via the school board because the community is behind these great kids!

I realized that I have gone on way too long. I hope some of this helps. Again I will send you a private message with that letter example. Take Care, GR

I am a Para Educator and I can not believe that she has not gotten fired for this!! The principal for our school fired an aide just for cornering a kid. You should contact the TSPC, that stands for Teacher Standards and Practices Commission. You can make a report with them. Raise your voice, contact the local news about it!! This should not be taken lightly. This could be so damaging on your boy psychologically. It can make it difficult for any other aides in his future as well. Best of luck to you. I hope you get it all figures out!

I asked my husband what you should do because he is a teacher. He said you need to contact your Office of Superintendent for Public Instruction (OSPI) I would be doing that ASAP. Good Luck!!!

I do not have a disabled child but I am disabled and my "normal" son was being manhandled by his principal as were other students. The town I lived it was ALL "good ole boys" from secondhand stores to the sheriffs dept. I ALWAYs ended my conversations with them......If I do not see any resolve in 24 hrs or less, you leave me no other choice but to take it to a higher source. When they say (and they will) "What do you mean?" I simply say "Don't get this resolved to my satisfaction and you will find out exactly what I mean." Also if there is a way you can either have your son tutored at home or teach him yourself. I would do that. I took my son out of school for the rest of the year and taught him myself. They DON'T like that because they loose money. They get money for every child in school and almost 2x's as much for a disabled child. Just keep in mind and let them know in no uncertain terms that you may not be able to do something about it but there are people out there who do nothing but protect and advocate for the disabled and they will come down harder on them than you ever could. Get a hold of the ADA in your state (usually in the states capital) and let them know about it. If they can't do anything about it they will definately lead you in the right direction.
When I lived in this little town that was nothing but "good ole boys" the towns second hand store was not accessable and I talked to the store owner who buy the way was the towns head detectives wife and she said this store has always been like this and will always be like this as long as I am owner....shall I tell you with in 6 months of contacting the ADA and the ADA getting the local fire department (which was all volunteers) involved because of fire hazzards for the disabled shopping there the store was expanded to almost twice the size and ramped with a doorbell because the door wasn't automatic and too heavey to open. The very first time I went in there after the remodel, The lady saw me and told her cashier, (I don't think she knows I heard) "You see that lady there? If she needs anything, you make sure you help her get it." I know that was off topic but my point being is the ADA is great for advocating for the disabled and if you calmly explain your plight (because half the battle is stating your problem) things will start to get taken care of. And to all those who replied..........wonderful advice! Much better than I could ever give. But just like serveral have said. Don't come off as some angry mom......but more so concerned, because you don't want to see this happen to another child and chances are your son wasn't the first and wont be the last if this person is allowed to be around these kids. If you make it personal you might have a harder time but if you come across that you are trying to make it better for "others" as well, you will see better results. Like my second hand store issue.........It wasn't just better for me, it made it easier for other disabled and elderly to shop there as well. Policies aren't changed for just one person but "Because" of one person. And you seem like just the right person to get the job done!
Good luck :-)
You have alot of good and VERY smart people that responded, it is very comforting to know that in these days when no one wants to get involved in other peoples problems that there are some out there that are willing to let you in on all their experiences and advice.

Make sure you have made your concerns known to the Principal/Sup. in writing. Email is a great way - it leaves an electronic trail, copies and receipts. All Principals and Sups have email. That would be my first step. I would allow 24 hours for a response and action.

If no action, contact Susan Castillo in Salem (Superintendant of Ed for the State) with copies of any requests you have made to the Principal about your concerns.

The Gov. office probably won't respond yet, but try the state representatives' office. They will respond much more quickly.

Also contact Juvenile Rights Project. They are a group of attorneys who represent kids for free. They'll kick some behind if Susan doesn't.

Make sure you have all your facts straight. Who saw this, when did it happen, what was the situation, copies of emails, notes from discussions...all ducks in a row. Good luck.

Here are a few ideas to get results:

First, talk to a lawyer. It may only take a simple letter threatening to sue to get results. In addition to the offending teacher, you can probably name the principal, the local district and the state in your intent to sue. the lawyer will know.

Also, definitely contact the press. Whatever major paper serves your area will have a news desk. Call them and ask for the reporter or editor who covers education issues. Then call or email that reporter with your story. Make sure you follow up an email with a call. Reporters are way overworked these days due to cuts at the papers, so you need to be the squeaky wheel.

Finally, contact a local or regional organization that supports families and kids with autism. They may have resources far beyond your own, including attorney recommendations, press contacts etc. The more help you get, the more noise you can make.

Good luck!

Hi M.,
You have to keep pushing this. Your son and the other kids need to be protected from this "educator". It looks like this falls on your shoulders. If you do not get anywhere with the principal you need to escalate this to law enforcement.
I would try the following:
- Sheriff... you can't just call them once. Make sure they start an investigation.
- Attorney... maybe a letter to the school would help?
- The Media/Local Newspapers
- The board of education... maybe there have been other complaits about her.
- Google! Do some research and see if she has been in another district and had any issues or was terminated.
- Other parents. Find out if any one else has had issues with her.

If you feel you still are getting no where... try your Legislative Representative. The Governor has too many larger issues on her plate. That is what your reps are for!
Best of luck to you...
MJ

M.,

Where do you live? If all the facts are as you say, this is outrageous. I do not advocate lawsuits. But if you find you've got NO other alternative and NO strong advocate in the system for your child, you may have to do whatever you must, in order to be your child's best advocate.

If you make waves of ANY kind, you may want to be prepared for the potential that others will not readily join you in your effort - people don't like to stick their necks out, even if they know, in their gut, it is wrong and/or involves something as precious as a child (or children). People can easily slip into the role of bystanders, out of basic human fear of getting involved / fear of standing out in whatever social groups exist - I think this is true in any environment. But don't let any kind of fear stop YOU. All that matters is your child's safety and well-being and YOU, the parent, are the final authority on that one. A child that is not safe in school, cannot learn - and it's worth remembering that the whole reason schools exist is to educate our children.

If you can get parent support, go for it - a group of parents can be an effective route toward problem-solving. If not, don't let that stop you. An autistic child is no less important than one that is not autistic. If anything, he needs a stronger advocate - good for you for seeking ideas from fellow moms - your child has a good mom!!

I wish you the best outcome for your child, your family and the school - I hope it does not come to a lawsuit. I think lawsuits are half the reason for declining relationships between parents and schools - it's sad. Our children pick up the tab when we adults stand around and argue, instead of effectively problem-solving, on their behalf.

Best to you,
T. B.

Wow, that is absolutely horrible. Have you had an actual meeting with the principal to discuss the matter? I mean there is no way that woman should be teaching children, especially special needs children.

I agree, you have to press the issue until something satisfactorally in your favor happens. No child should be hit or manhandled by any educator, but least of all a child with autism. Horrible.

press charges so she can never do this another child. Abuse of the disabled is taken seriously.

Wow, that leaves me speechless. I used to work as a paraeducator for 7-graders, and it was usually the other way round (I was attacked by the kids). I wouldn't let my kid go back to this school until something has happened. Try to get him in another school, or at least another class room. Talk to the principal, and if that doesn't result in diciplinary action against that woman, report the incident to the police. Our niece is autistic, and we know how important a positive relationship to educators is for the kid's development. Please keep us updated on what happened in your case!

I used to work in education. I can tell you that you need to be the advocate for your child. You need to talk to your child's case manager and the principal and threaten a lawsuit. Be prepared to carry through. Districts need to pay to provide the services your child needs regardless of cost. You also may consider contacting Northwest Regonial ESD http://www.nwresd.k12.or.us/ if you are in the area they serve. Good luck and don't be afraid to make waves. No one like that should be in the classroom

I would talk to the school, then go to the police if I had to. Whatever you have to do to protect your child AND for him to be able to go to school. I'd invoke "No Child Left Behind" or whatever else you have to. I have twin sons that are Autistic and it is REALLY hard but I think you may have to do something big.

talk to an attorney...it is illegal to harm a child...if the school saw you doing that they would report you!

I agree with a few others. Call a lawyer. Your son is protected by law and so are other children she "helps". She shuold not be in the position she is if she is abusive in any way.

My heart goes out to you and your son.

M.,

You have been given excellent advice.
Just know that when 'everything' and 'everyone' seems to be against you, remember that you have support out here and that people DO care about you and your son. Keep your head up and let your love for your son guide your heart in securing his well being. Prayers for strength and wisdom when dealing with those that are less than inclined to right a most serious wrong. Praying for you and your son.

This is terrible. I am a teacher in a school where we have many inclusion students. I can't even imagine a student being treated in this manner. Have you talked with the principal/superintendent? That person has a responsibililty to ensure the safety of your child. I would also file a police report for assult and contact Children's Protective Services. Do you have witness who will make contacts for you also?
Several people have suggested excellent advocacy groups to you. Please contact one of them and get support to walk you through this process. Good luck!

That is terrible. I have have an autistic daughter who is a little older than your son. You may want to contact A Common Voice the phone number is ###-###-####, it's a parent advocacy group. FEAT of Washington is another. Feat at the very least can give the names of some law firms that may be able to help you.

Start making noise and document everything.

Contact your local parent group in the school, such as your PTA. PTA advocates for children.
Call a lawyer
Call the local media
What proof do you have? Is there enough to call the police?
There are also disability groups in WA that might be of help also.
Good luck

HI M.,
Having a daughter who has autism, I understand what you are going thru. If that was my child, I would take him out of that school. There is not one reason someone should be abusing your child this way. It is hard, we know, to learn to deal with what we are going thru. I am sorry if your community is small. I hope for the best for you and your family. I wish I could help more. Just know that you are your childs best advocate..
B.

Send an e-mail to every member of your school board, attend the next school board meeting. Slapping and manhandling are inappropriate behaviors. Who told you of this treatment? who witnessed it first hand? You'll need this information and statements. There is also an education ombudsperson with OSPI that you can contact. They will help you with this issue, it may take time, but it will get attention. If you live in a rural area with limited resources, this para educator is probably a member of your community. Have you, would you, could you have a direct conversation with her first to find out what and why this happened? I'm not condoning her behavior, but you need to find out what percipated it, what all what going on with your child and the surrounding circumstances. Best of luck.

Where I agree that you should contact the school and all higher officials associated, the police should be notified IMMEDIATELY. Assult on a minor (which what this is) should not be taken lightly and deserves immediate response from the law. Ironically , that should also make your officials lift their heads and pay attention to what you've already tried to call their attention to. Play hardball. If it was my child, I'd take no prisoners =). I was a child mistreated ( to say the very least) in the school system and no one paid attention until my mother got the law involved. Good luck to you and your family.

First of all I'm totally appalled!
Secondly, my husband is a Special Education teacher and he said to go to this website (OSPI)and file a citizens complaint. www.k12.wa.us
You also want to keep track of when you contacted the principal/superintendant. Take pictures and document any bruises/injuries etc.
You can also look into a Child Advocate Lawyer who should be able to guide you through the process.
It depends on what all you are trying to get accomplished. Are you looking for a new paraeducator/teacher? A new program? Taking him out of district?
You could also ask for an IEP meeting with the teacher and principal to seek other alternatives. It is your right to ask for an IEP meeting any time that you wish or are needing to have some information on your sons education.

Have you tired calling the state ombudsman?

I'm with Missy on this one. Keep pushing the issue into everyone's face. I know that it may seem at one point like the world is against you, but this lady needs to get a clue and not work with any children if this is the way they are getting treated.

I would definitely write down every issue that comes up in a journal and keep telling the authorities and your governor what is going on. If you are not willing to fight for your child, then no one will. YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S BEST ADVOCATE-LET YOUR VOICE BE LOUD AND PROUD FOR YOUR KID

This is the advice that I have recieved from my mother-n-law and since, I too have been able to get the resources for my boy that he needs since he has autism spectrum disorder and a seizure disorder.

Keep your head high and know that if it upsets you, then it needs to be heard and she needs to get in trouble for handling your kid or anyone else's kid that way. If it were your elderly parent, would you step back and let it happen? Same with a child with disabilities-you have to stand on your feet for your rights and that other person that is in your care.

She could do more harm to him, especially with his communication skills forming, so please, if you have to, look at your options with getting him a different para-educator, or let the staff know that you will spawn a full investigation of the school.

You also have rights as a parent with a disabled child. It may take some time, but if you don't like the school he is in, you can have that school district send him to any school you choose at no additional cost to you. Google "Disability Rights" and then "Education" and see what the reg's are, but I know that if you aren't happy with the result of his education, to include the educator, then kick butt and get him where you want.

You are strong enough and I believe that if you keep fighting for him, he will be proud of himself and of you and he will continue to develop to a level that will amaze everyone.

Keep up the good work as a mom and follow the advice of Missy. She is totally on key with her stuff!!!!!

Kim B.