My Autistic Son Is Scared of Hair Cuts

My Autistic son, now 12, was a NIGHTMARE at haircut time. We tried not to use the clippers because they terrified him, but he hated the scissors too. We would end up me with a cape on sitting and holding him with a cape on and just doing the best we could. (I would then have to go home an shower both of us after being covered in hair and sweat from the exertion!!) We finally found a place that caters to kids called Shear Maddness. They had video games or movies at each station and he loved movies. It got much better after we found that place. I am so thankful that my younger son did not have this issue. He wasn't a perfect angel for haircuts, but he was nothing like his big brother.

I don't how well he sleeps, but I would learn to do cutting hair and I would do it while he's asleep. If you only get part of it -it's ok. I think as long as it's out of his eyes that would be the most important. If his hair is a bit long, I don't think anyone would mind.

My DS has autism and he was just like your son when it came to haircuts. He also has very sensitive skin (hates clothing labels, has to wear loose fitting shirts, etc) so he could literally feel the hair falling onto the back of his neck when we first attempted to cut it so that drove him insane! We just let it go and decided it wasn’t worth the battle. He was 3 and his hair had gotten long and it was a very HOT summer. At this point I decided it would take something that he really loved to get him to let me cut his hair. I put a cape over him, doused his neck with baby powder, took him outside (he loved the outdoors, calmed him), sat him in his little camping chair, gave him a plastic bowl filled with whipped cream and chocolate syrup and let him go to town. While he had both his hands in the bowl making a huge mess having a great time, I slowly/gently started to trim his hair. I was able to cut the back, sides and front without a problem. Once I was done I had him look in a mirror and I told him over and over how handsome he looked and because he did SUCH a great job I would take him wherever he wanted for the day! He was so excited and he couldn’t WAIT to show Daddy how his hair looked.

Then I said to him “see? That wasn’t so bad was it??” He said no it was easy =-)

After that getting his hair cut became less of an issue but he still wanted his bowl of whipped cream. He’s 5 now and doesn’t need the bowl of cream anymore. He just isn’t afraid anymore.

Just wanted to share my story =-)

Here's an article with 20 tips (not sure if there might be something you haven't tried):
http://www.thecutekid.com/parent-resources/austism-tantru...
My friend's little boy did better when someone came to their house to do it.
Can his hair just be longer/ewer haircuts per year?

My completely "normal"-just a little speech delayed-soon to be 4 year old is the exact same. He also is the same when it comes to washing his hair and cutting his nails. I'm sorry I have no advice but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. The only solution we have it to only cut it every other month.

My son was the same way until just recently (he's 7 now). He still has some anxiety when it comes time to get his hair cut but is better able to tolerate it now. Here are the tricks that worked for us:

* Don't say anything about him getting a hair cut in front of him. Children with ASD are literal thinkers and "cuts" hurt, therefore hair cuts must hurt also. It's okay to tell him that he is getting his hair trimmed or you are taking him to get his hair shortened but never a hair cut.

* Bring one of your husband's shirts or t-shirts to use as your son's cape. Those black smocks cause my son to have a gag reflex each and everytime. Shirts and t-shirts are less claustrophobic and more familiar. You can even have him chose which shirt he wants to use so that he can feel like he has more control over the situation.

* Bring a kid-sized chair for your son to sit in during the appointment. Those big chairs that go up and down are frightening for most kids who have SPD and body awareness issues.

* Have the hairstylist talk to your son in very simple terms before she does anything to your son. If she is using clippers, have her explain that the clippers sound like buzzing bees (if you don't think that will scare him) and let him touch and hold the clippers while they are on before they go anywhere near his head. He may not be able to talk just yet but, hopefully, his receptive vocabulary is good enough to grasp what she (and you) is trying to explain to him. But it is very important not to surprise him with sudden moves or not explain what is going on.

* Whatever his interest is, you will have to use it to redirect his attention during the appointment. For my son, it was animals and spelling. During the "hair trim," I kept my hands firmly but gently in my son's lap to keep him from getting up and talk to him about animals and how to spell their names (e.g., "c-o-w," "r-a-b-b-i-t"). He wasn't completely distracted but he was just enough so that the hairstylist was able to hustle through the trim.

* Reward him for his good behavior during the appointment. Talk to him about it before you even step foot in the salon and make sure that it is something that is a really, really special treat/toy that he doesn't have access to usually. Really sell it to him. If you need to, bring the toy or a picture of whatever the reward is going to be with you to the appointment so that you can have it there to remind him of what's waiting for him after the appointment.

* Of course, your son's objections are a sensory issue and frustration/confusion issue. If you are working with an OT about his SPD (hopefully you are), then talk to the OT about this because they are a great resource for information and kid-friendly solutions.

As I had mentioned, my son is 7 now and it wasn't until this last year when we stopped having major drama at each hair appointment. He still has a lot of anxiety when we go in for our hair appointment but I've found a wonderful hair stylist who knows how to relate to him and is patient and calm (two very important things). She's also young and pretty and I've found that my son really is more cooperative with girls that he thinks are cute. And there are a number of other reasons why he's doing better with hair trims now (OT, maturity, familiarity with the whole process).

Hopefully this will give you some ideas on how to troubleshoot the whole process and will take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Wishing you and your son all the best. Take care.

S.,

My 3 y/o daughter is not autistic but has ALWAYS been horrible when it comes to haircuts. We too went to fancy kids haircutting places (which are production based), triing to trim it at home, all you've done. Does your son get occupational therapy? If so, your OT can work with him as well as showing you ways to get him used to someone cutting his hair. My daughter went through a period of not wanting anyone to touch her hair, even brushing it was a huge struggle. She hated the sensation when I brushed her hair. BUT, she got better with it, we worked through it. I'd look to your OT (if you have one) for suggestions in this. I wish you were in the Chicago area, because I lucked out and found a WONDERFUL woman who specializes and is fantastic with kids with autism & any child who's just terrified of haircuts. This was the ONLY place I found we can go, and my daughter is actually improving. Try googling children's hair salons that cater to special needs kids, you may find something nearby. Good luck to you, and I hope you find a solution that is more comforting to your son.

We have a non profit here that is called Practice Without Pressure. What they do is slowly ease people who have Autism into the situation they are afraid of so they can still be nervous but they can get through it without fitting. If you don't have a group near you then you are going to have to slowly do this approach yourself. Can you bring him in a salon during off hours where things are calm and let him sit in the chair for a few min then leave and slowly progress up to a haircut.

Grab a copy of Early Intervention and Autism by James Ball. I attended a workshop for teaching social skills to children who have Autism and I LOVED it!!!! If you have any questions or want to talk let me know. I have an 8 year old daughter who has Autism.

Oh, boy do I feel your pain! Not only have I worked with autistic children in the past, but I have a 2 year old son that feels the same way. Haven't found an answer that works for us either.
However, I know there are certain things that CAN help an autistic child when they are overstimulated... for your son, he probably can't stand the touch and the noise. Have you tried different relaxation-stimulation techniques like brushing (like a soft bristled hairbrush on the skin) or swaddling (there is a fancy technical term for this, but basically the pressure on their joints help them relax). I know swinging also helps many autistic children.
We have swaddled our son in a beach towel with his arms down and then popped him into his highchair with the tray, so he can't go anywhere. He still hates it, but it is a little safer (he is 35 pounds and strong).
Maybe try saving an activity he really enjoys for right after the haircut?
Wish I could be more help because I know personally how terrible it can be when the kiddo does not want their hair cut! Good luck!

hi ~
I'm so sorry for your son and family's stress over haircuts :0( here are a couple of additional thoughts/ideas:
* as Diane G mentioned - does you son receive OT? He/she maybe able to help give you strategies too.
* does he have any other signs of "tactile defensiveness"? not like to be touched? hair washing hard? tooth brushing hard? not like to be touched lightly - may love to be hugged firm?
* have you tried social stories - a story written about what happens during a hair cut. see http://www.thegraycenter.org/social-stories

I have a couple of other handouts - let me know if you'd like me to e-mail them to you

GOOD LUCK!!!

I would let it grow out for awhile and see if he can tolerate it when he gets older. Why traumatize the kid over something as dumb as hair?

My son was DX as being on the spectrum (high functioning autisum)
when he was two years old. It was a nightmare trying to get his hair cut. I did all the things you mentioned. It got so bad I could not take him to the barbra shop anymore because no one could deal with him. I had to cut his hair myself. It was easy when I could strap him into his highchair and cut it.LOL Then when he was too big for the chair I had to hold him down and cut at the sametime. His haircuts were horrible. After a while I would buy toys from the dollar store to bribe him to not move and it worked for about 5 minutes into the haircut. It helped too if I let him hold a mirror while i could his hair so that he could see what I was doing.
He is six years old now and the difference is like night and day. We can actually go into the shope for a haircut and I don't even have to help. I can actually set down and read a magazine. He does not move or say a word and he actually likes getting his hair cut because he loves the way he looks afterwards.
I have no idea what changed. It was sort of gradual and probably due to his Occupational Therapy in school which has helped him handle certain sounds or vibrations like the buzzing of hair clippers. So with your son it could just be a sensory issue. Maybe he does not like the sound of the clippers or the way it feels.

Does he like vacuum cleaners? Can he tolerate having his hair touched? I don't have experience with this, but I wonder if a flowbee hair vacuum would work. My older sis has used it for YEARS. The company still exists. I don't know what their return policy is if it doesn't work, but maybe you can talk to customer service about it. Good luck!

Let it grow and put it in a pony tail. I see it all the time.

If he was a girl, I would say, cut her bangs when she is asleep and let the rest grow! That is what we did. It is not a problem anymore at age 11, but ours is high functioning. Dental work was the same way. When we had her under the gas to get a filling done at age 4, I clipped her nails and bangs...that is kind of extreem though!

I hope it gets better. I have a freind with a nonverbal 9 year old, and he will let them cut his hair now, that is kind of recent.

I hope you find something that works, but know that he probably does not remember being held down to do this if that is what you have to do. My youngest does not remember us holding her down for the nails, or when the dentist (one we walked out on) held her down to look at her teeth. She is 11.

M.

My now 13 year old daughter was highly sensitive, not autistic, and hated haircuts too. For the longest time she would sit on my lap facing me at the hairdressers while the hairdresser pulled her hair up and cut several inches above her head. I was also going to suggest a flowbee: it is an attachment to the vacuum hose so you suck the hair up and inside the hose are blades that cut the hair as it is sucked up. I have a friend who uses one and she likes it. Is it the sound, the fact that the objects are sharp or the fact that he has to sit still that is the issue? If it is sound, then the noise from the vacuum will also be a problem. How about just making the haircut last a whole day: one quick snip, then forget about it and snip again later? That is how I have to cut my cat's nails, since she won't tolerate it. I know this is going to sound awful, but how about sedating him with Benadryl, does that calm him down? I also like the answer of just letting him look like a little hippie with long hair in a ponytail. You have enough to deal with, perhaps pick you battles and let the hair go? Sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck with everything.

my son is the same way as yours i know its very hard

Hi S., I googled 'tips for autistic children's haircuts' and came up with a zillion ideas. Take a look, Good Luck! :)

my non autistic son did the same thing it will pass

My 3 yr old is ASD and my niece Rileigh also has Autism, both of them pretty much react the way your son does to hair cuts. There is no bargaining...with my son I hold him and try to get through it quickly, with Rileigh, her mom learned to cut her hair...I WISH I had something to encourage you with. I do know that one of my sons therapists had said she could work with him with clippers using a guard to try and get him used to it, but I opted not too, so much of his "therapy" has seemed torturous to both of us, I figured that him having only 2 or 3 hair cuts a year and dealing with it slightly shaggy was just somewhat easier. I would say even though you say he is nonverbal that you prepare him in advance for it, use pictures does your son use PECS? Picture Exchange Communication System? I know Alex has had some Social Stories that we read in order to help ease certain areas that we have had difficulties with. Thoughts and prayers sent your way, somethings improve with age...some don't...my sister still cannot vacuum in her house if Rileigh is home without Rileigh being very very upset.

I was recently on youtube and came across a bunch of videos on cutting an autistic child's hair..you might give it a look, maybe see for yourself how other people handle it..

My 2 year old hates getting his hair cut too but I will say the best hair cut we got him was at a place called snip it in OKC. I find the more confident the hairdresser is cutting a young child's hair the more comfortable the child will be. At snip it, they have planes to sit in and the kids are put in front of a television.

Ask your OT, s/he might have a suggestion for that, since it's a common issue. Good luck and God bless you!