My Baby Won't Sleep!

I've totally been there!!! Maybe you could try laying him down on his belly and patting his butt until it lulls him to sleep. That sometimes worked with my kids.
Otherwise you can put him in bed and let him babble for a while - at least he's not crying! That gives you a break and maybe he would even drift off. Does he have a mobile? Maybe watching that would put him to sleep. I know - it's frustrating!!

J.,
I feel for you! My son got into the habbit of nursing to sleep and would only sleep on me for much of his first few months of life. It didn't occur to me until I left with my mom for an afternoon and he didn't nap that we had to stop nursing to sleep so he could fall asleep on his own. He didn't take a pacifier and really didn't like the swing or car so it was definitely a process. Basically we had to wait until 5 months because they say until 4-5mo they aren't able to self soothe. We tried cry it out (CIO) but he would get so upset he'd get sick. A routine was key, we'd do our bedtime routine, then lay him down, if he cried we'd wait 10 minutes, then go calm him down and leave, wait 15, go in calm him down, leave, increasing by 5 minutes each time if we could. It took about a week but then we were down to 10-15 minutes and he was usually out. After we had bedtime down we started doing this in the middle of the night when he woke up and that only took a few nights, sometimes I didn't even have to go down. We've had to "retrain" him many times as things interrupt routine like illness and vacation. But once he was consistantly falling asleep in his bed his naps and nights imporoved greatly! Every child is different so no garuntees but if you have questions feel free to ask. If he wakes up and isn't upset then jut leave him in his bed and only go in briefly if he cries to check to make sure his diaper and such is ok. Eventually he'll get back on track with days/nights. Good luck!

Hi J.,

This is a common occurence at this age - if you're curious, just look at all the past posts and you'll see this mentioned a lot! So don't worry, it's not like he's not normal.

What to do? My daughter started waking more and more around this time - for a few months I'd get up and nurse/rock her back to sleep and then put her in her crib. But this became exhausting. Eventually, I pulled her into bed with me and that made getting her to fall back to sleep a much easier process for both of us - she'd wake, know I was there and go back to sleep sooner than when it took the time for me to get up and go take care of her. Or I'd nurse her back to sleep when she needed it.

Same with naps - i decided we'd both just sleep together when she napped or I'd read a book. When I was at work, my mom would hold her at naptime or my mother in law would drive her around in the car and she'd nap then.

Then, after some months, she grew out of it. Remember it's always gradual with kids and things go up and down as they develop.

My daughter is now 4 and a good sleeper. No stage lasts forever!

Best,

M.

J. I both sympathize AND empathize. Neither of my girls were sleepers. We did cry-it-out with my first and although it worked at first, once she hit 1 year everything went wacky and I can't help but think it was due to that method. We tried it with our 2nd and she got so upset she was practically choking on tears, spit, and boogies. I had had enough. I read books, blogs, articles, etc. It boiled down to the fact that she didn't need the sleep that everyone said she needed. Cat naps were just fine for her. I DID however continue a nap routine twice a day so that we didn't completely give up. I literally didn't leave the house for about a month and joked with my friends that i'd 'quarantined' myself in a no-holds barred attempt to make her nap. (I invited lots of friends over to our house though so I didn't go crazy!) I also sat in her room while she slept -I'd nurse her to sleep, place her in her crib and then read a book. As soon as that baby started to stir, (usually 15 - 20 minutes into a nap) I hopped up, grabbed her, and tried nursing her back to sleep. Eventually she stopped waking up during the nap and her naps got longer. Her 1 year birthday is tomorrow and I"m happy to say I can't remember the last time i had to do that, and we quit nursing at 9 months - so really it started happening probably by 6 months. She now sleeps for 1 to 3 hours in the afternoon, and sleeps all night. My secret? I held her, I gave her the time she demanded. I was tired and frustrated, and afraid of 'spoiling' her, but she got what she needed and now sleeps on her own! My advice? Simply remember they are ONLY this little for a teeny tiny spec of time. Hold them! My almost 3-year old rarely has time for me to hold her already! Just be patient, and follow your instinct - don't let books or 'shoulds' bring you down. YOU are the mamma! GOOD LUCK and God Bless!

My daughter was never a good sleeper until 7 months when I was fed up with getting up 4 rimes a night, and never getting more than a 30 minute nap! We Bought the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth...you may be able to find it or interlibrary loan it from your local public library, too. It was a lifesaver!

First thing it says that our modern lifestyles and electric lights go against the baby's natural biological clocks, we keep them up much later than we should, to see them after work, or play, etc. when they really need to go to bed at the time it gets dark out. My daughter was going to bed around 8 pm at first, at 6-7 months, I moved it back by 1/2 hour a week, and even now, at 22 months, her bedtime is between 6:30 and 7:00 and she sleeps till after 7:30 am!!! That first two months, she was still nursing, and would sleep 6:30-12:30, nurse, and then sleep form 1:00-7:00!!! It was like heaven!

We also realized that she didn't like to sleep in her room, especially during the day, it was too bright...we got denim curtains, and turned on in a circular floor fan - or in winter a humidifier, and always play a lullaby CD on repeat for her...with the curtains taking out the light, and the fan and music blocking out outside sounds, it helped tremendously!!!

Warning, we did do the "Cry It Out" method - extinction, not gradual extinction (he talks about both in the book)....we did our routine, put her down in her bed, said we loved her and closed the door and left the room. It WAS HARD! The first night she cried for 45 minutes straight! Second night was only 20 min. third night maybe 10 min, and 4th night, she only hollered just as I closed the door. That was it, ever since she has been great in her bed, night and morning and naps!

Naps improved after night sleeping improved...better sleep breeds better sleep! When she was first doing this, she would wake at 7 and we would eat breakfast right away, and then play a little while, and within one to one and a half hours, she was back down for her first nap...usually an hour or more long....then up for a few hours of eating and playing, then an afternoon nap of an hour+. At about 18 months we went to one nap in the morning, and an awake but quiet playtime in her crib in the afternoon, now at 22 months, we are loser to one just one nap of about 2 hours around lunchtime, most days.

Now she does also have pacifiers and a lovey - her giraffe, Jeffery...without those two sleep doesn't go well....we tried to take away the binkies at 12 months, and again last month - no dice....oh well - we will try again around 3 yrs old.

Good Luck!

Jessie

I followed the book Babywise. It was very helpful getting my girls into a good schedule and both have always been good sleepers because it.

One thing you might want to try (you said you were nursing) is cut out all caffine. I don't know if you are a regular coffee or soda drinker but even small amounts could be effecting his sleep.

My little guy was very similar to your situation and he is now 15 months old. This to shall pass! I feel like I have adapted alot of things you here and read about and it helped our little guy sleep through the night. When he was about 5 months old is when I really started sticking a very strick schedule. Eating, Sleeping, Playing, Bedtime and all that stuff at the same time every day. The best thing that I did was from the time he woke up 2 hours later laying him down again for another nap, whether he was tired or not, not rocking him to sleep but put him in his bed full tummy and leaving him in there for at least 30-hour, and he'd usually play and talk and fall asleep for an hour or an hour and a half. The key is to put him in bed before he is tired, otherwise they fight it. I know that is hard when you aren't with him during the day, but talk you your daycare and tell them your concerns. I worked in daycare for 7 years and the teachers should work with you and do as you request. Another tip is use a sound machine with white noise and make his room as dark as you can. The noise will put him to sleep and the darkness will tell him that it is bed time. I did get alot of tips from the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child." I couldn't believe the difference in him after a few days of the strick schedule. I did have to let him cry it out a few times in the middle of the night when I knew he was full and didn't need anything. It's gets very hard and draining when you don't get your sleep either but it will get better. At bedtime, establish that routine, I did bath time every night for about a month so that he knew that bedtime was coming, massage, story and fed him and put him down by 8:00 and worked it up to 7:00 and he is getting old enough to not have to eat every 3-4 hours at night, so I did the last feeding when I went to bed usually around 10 - 10:30 and that was it till 5ish and then if he woke up happy I'd leave him and he would go back to sleep till 6:30-7 otherwise I'd feed him but adapt it to your schedule and when you need to leave for work. My theory is if they wake up happy then they probably got enough sleep but if they wake up crying they are usually still tired. I hope this helps some. Sleep is a hard thing to master, and every child is different. Best of luck to you!

Hi J.,

You already have some great advice here....sometimes it is hard, but consistency and following through pays off in the end. As long as you know your baby's tummy is full and their diaper is dry they will be fine in their crib. Every time you go into their room it is like starting over. Hard to believe they are so smart at this age isn't it? Hang in there, you will all be much happier.

C.

I completely feel for you. My husband and I have gone thru it. We still tackle it from time to time. I know people have touched on this a bit in their responses; however what worked for us is a night light and soft soothing music at naps and night time. We have a CD on repeat that runs all night long. We also took the leap and layed him on his tummy. He slept 10 hours that first night. Keep the same routine. It takes time, but eventually it starts to set in. My husband and I also set two stuffed animals in the corner of his crib. That way no matter which side his face is positioned when he wakes up he sees the same familiar animal sitting in the corner. We started using a night light, that sits on his dresser, because we believe he was waking up in pear darkness and didnt know where he was. He would get so worked up that he wasnt able to put himself back to sleep. The night light worked a lot. I may mention also that when he wakes up after only a short period of time to stand down from him/her so he/she cant see you and just tap the behind a bit. It is something with the motion to their body that seems to sooth them. I know I touched on random things, but they have seemed to work for us. Be strong and know your not alone. Good luck.

I would by a sleep book. We use Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It will help you teach him how to fall asleep on his own. It is a great book. And it won't take you long to read to start implementing what she says to do. We have used it with our two kids and it has been wonderful. Or now 7 month old sleeps 7-7 and takes two long naps. I would start now because the older he gets the harder it will be to break these bad habits.

www.askdrsears.com goes through a lot of sleep information. sleep is a sensitive issue.
please dont use the cry it out method. dr sears will explain to you why, so check out that website.
there are various reasons babies stop sleeping, and its NORMAL and NATURAL for sleep interruptions.
dont count on getting a 'full' nights sleep... ever. LOL. even when they grow up and move away, you will still sit awake at night wondering where they are and what they are doing.
sooo... just do what you have to do to get sleep, and get your baby sleep. we coslept off and on with our son until between 15-17 months when he occassionally slept through the night. it wasnt consistent. he now can usually make it to 530-630-730 before he wants to get up. 530 is a bit more rare, but it has happened. :D
anyway.
good luck

If he is just babbling, I would let him lay there and babble-he may be putting himself back to sleep. Your home provider may need to let him fuss a bit to get back to sleep as well. Maybe he will need to sleep in another location until he gets through this stage, such as a safe swing.White noise may also help--a fan running (which now they are thinking may reduce the risk of SIDS), music playing softly. These things help at our center very much. We have up to 8 babies sleeping in the same room at once.

Like a previous post, I highly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. It describes babies' sleep habits from stage to stage, and gives great advice on how to handle each stage. It gave me the confidence to stick with the plan because I knew it had worked with the thousands of kids Weisbluth had worked with.

Sounds like your little one is reaching a developmental phase where he knows he'd rather be with you, but he'll eventually learn to put himself to sleep. You just have to give him the chance to do it. I used the cry-it-out method which was tough to listen to, but I knew that she ultimately needed that time alone, whether it was sleeping or awake.

Regardless of what you try, ask your daycare teacher to adopt similar methods so your baby gets consistency as much as possible (not entirely possible for her if there are other kids who would be disturbed, but see what she can do).

Good luck!

We went through this same thing when I went back to work (right around 3 1/3 months). It has been a long journey but these are some of the things we found that worked.

1. Very lite nightlight in the room - so when they do wake up, they know where they are so they can soothe themselves back to sleep better.
2. Do not put them in the crib sleeping. I do nurse her in her room before I put her down but as I put her in the crib I make sure she is awake. Then when she does wake up in the middle of the night she knows where she is.
3. We have a fan in the room to drown out the random noise around the house - they say this also helps soothe them.
4. We also put a small heater in her room and she sleeps in a halo sack to keep warm.
5. We also have a routine - which comes into play between 5-6 months. Eat solids, bath, play a little bit (this is when my hubby comes home)nurse, and then to bed.
6. I would not cry it out yet, but if you say that he is not really crying but just talking and babbling... I would just leave him in there. Turn off the monitor and sleep! He is obviously fine. Crying and screaming would be a totally different story - they need you and you need to comfort them if this is the case.

I know it sounds like quite the process - but it has worked for us.

Oh yeah and with naps it has worked for us to "pretend" it is night time. Put her in her halo sack, get the room nice and dark and always feed them in the same spot you do for bed. We went from 20 minute naps to 2 hour naps in no time!

Dear J.!

When my son (he'll be 4 next month) woke up as often, the dr suggested that we make sure we were interacting with him as little as possible. Turns out what we were doing was smiling and playing with him every time he'd get up. At night, we began to change him as needed and put him right back down again, not looking him in the eye. After a while, he got the idea that night time wasn't the time to play or be up. Sometimes he was just awake but didn't really need our attention. So, we just made sure he was safe in his crib and let him be. It took us a little while to feel comfortable leaving him be, but he was safe, cared for and happy - just cooing in bed. This led to him singing in bed without us there - and I have to say - it was a joy to wake up to in the morning!

So, if your little one is okay (not fussing or crying), let him be. Of course, he may be teething and that may be keeping him up. I don't know how you may feel about this, but my mom put whiskey on my gums (just a dab with her finger, not enough to swallow) to soothe me and she said it helped me to sleep. I did it with my boy, too. Again, not a lot, but just enough to numb his gums. Worked for us.

When he needs to sleep, he'll sleep. Just like if he's hungry, he'll eat. I know it's hard to trust those instincts right now (and I didn't believe it when people told that to me the first time), but it does work out. I've had my second child now (she's 5 months old this month), and I'm trusting mine and her instincts alot more this time around. Make sure to mention it to your child's doctor next time you go in if it's still a concern.

Just remember: you're doing well to keep an eye on it. You and your husband love your son very much and you are doing what you need to do to take good care of him. Best wishes, K.

Night Time Parenting by Dr Sears saved my life when I was in your position. Go to the Web site Ask Dr Sears and you will get some relief.
This too shall pass, hang in there and try to enjoy this fleeting time in your child's life.
Good luck!
J.