My Babys Daddy Makes Me Feel Less...

You are absolutely right. You are not over-reacting. I am so sorry you have that kind of relationship. But it is the one you chose so you've got to make it work somehow. I stay home with my kids but my husband is competely supportive and knows how hard it would be to be the one to have to deal with the whining and everything at home. He respects me AND he put me through school after I had two kids (i have 4 now)

If your boyfriend feels you should have an education, he needs to support you and watch the baby while you attend classes. He is one of two parents responsible for the baby. Your M. is kind to help you, but your boyfriend should be the one fulfilling his responsibilities as a father. Since your baby is breast feeding, perhaps you should try online classes. There are so many available now.

I dont know what to tell you. I worry about his commitment to you and the baby. Is marriage out of the question? If so, why?

My best advice would be to hang out with other families who function well as father and mother and share and respect each other and each others responsibilities and contributions. Perhaps seeing how other couples interact and care for each other and for their children will open his eyes and soften his heart.

I'm so sorry you are in this tough situation. I think it's clear that you want to continue your education (good for you!) and the main obstacle is that your baby doesn't want to take a bottle, so you can't really get out of the house for long. This is fairly normal for a breastfed baby, and I think may be easily resolved. On a day when you have someone else who can care for the baby, express milk into a bottle, and then leave the house (make sure your baby sees you going). Then have the other person give your baby the bottle. If your baby is hungry, he will take the bottle because he knows you aren't there to feed him. (He may not like it, but he won't starve!)

Once you have the bottle feeding down, get yourself some reliable daycare. I have heard City College has a great day care - not sure how young the kids can be, but I think they may take infants? I know for sure they have sliding scale payments, so if you are a full time student on a tight budget, you pay less. They do take children of full-time students before any other kids. Maybe it would fit into your budget? At that point you can go back to school and/or get part time work.

I'm not sure where some men get off thinking that all of the child care and housework is "woman's work." My husband is pretty much a traditional Italian man who was raised by a very over-indulgent mama, so I know where you're coming from. (You can't pick who you love, right? =) I have always worked full time as long as he has known me, and I do feel that has helped me have equal footing in our relationship. Some men were raised to expect being equal partners in everything, and some were raised to think women should wait on them hand and foot. It is what it is, and if you want to stay with him, realize that he probably won't change. But you CAN make sure that you are also getting what you want out of the relationship - by working things around so you can finish school, have a little time for your own hobbies, etc. Your boyfriend may change his tune once you're going to school and working too - he can't say you're sitting on the couch, watching Oprah and eating bon-bons then! (Although it is just infuriating that some men think being a full-time M. is easy! If they only knew!) Just be true to yourself and know that you can accomplish your goals, even if it takes a long time to get there! Don't give up on yourself, no matter what!

You are a mommy now so your schooling is going to have to take a back seat to your mothering or your child will pay a big price. Don't worry about your college degree just yet, worry about being the best mother to your son.

Unfortunately, your babies daddy sounds like he is still a child himself and seems resentful of having to support you and HIS son.

There is a reason why people do things in a certain order, marry then children and now you know first hand.

The best thing you can do now is to cut your losses. Move in with your mother, collect child support, raise your son and don't move in with anyone or make babies again without being married.
I don't mean to sound harsh but this is the reality of your situation. When we make certain choices, other choices are no longer available to us.

Hugs to you and your sweet baby,

A.

I am a single mother of a wonderful 7 year old who found myself pregnant at 20. The father of my daughter does not ever want to be part of her life and acctually signed away all parental rights before she was ever born. With the help and support of family and friends I was able to work full time, and go to school full time untill graduation. It wasn't easy but worth every second. I met a man when she was 4 years old. I was tired of doing it all myself. He didi not value me the way that he should. He had two children. After 2 years of dating he proposed and of coarse we got married. Our relationship was ok and I thought good enough. After moving to a new town and starting our new family i was amazed to see his true colors. I was working night shift and he was unemployed. I was expected to get the kids off to school, sleep for a few hours and then make dinner and take care of the kids when they got home. My husband went to home depot and did whatever he wanted at home. It only took me 60 days to find out he was not the man i thought i married. I don't know if you believe in God, but I will keep you in my prayers. As a woman, a daughter, and a mother you deserve the upmost respect from the man in you life. Would you ever treat someone the way he treats you?

Let me leave you with one thought

"Faith makes things possible, not easy"
If you are looking for income from home at your own pace in your own time call me ###-###-####

Hi M. C I understand what your going thru Im married and lil things my husband says and does makes me feel the same. No man is worth it if he wants you to do more tell you brestfeed the baby change the dippers cook clean do the laundry all the shopping and go and pay all the bills and see what I do all day and if you don't think its enough then you can pay me for all that plus the late night feedings and dipper changes hunnie you can't afford me if you can help make the baby and wont put in your part other then complain your doin it all put yourself in my shoes cause I would love to do more then all this and school to make your life easier cuz the baby and I made it so hard. I said this to my husband once all but the school thing cuz Im not in school and he said babe you need a break O and we were liven with my M. at the time long story not a good one you would think we were there and she would be a help not a umm @#$^$^$%@^&**..I left and went and got my nails done I was only gone for an hour and 45min and you know he called me 6 times cuz he didn't know how to calm her I brestfeed my lil one still she only gets it at night time bed but yeah. Sorry for all that but your not alone even married stay at home mommies deal with it 2 put you trust and faith in God find a good church if you don't already go. It helps to have a positive outlet. I could not get my daughter to eat baby food she didn't like it I found this book Super baby food.Its an awsome book it is well worth the money its only like 20 bucks plus tx. It shares great recipes and things to feed our babies right from our freg. It will help you in the long run to save money. I know this a personal question but do you recive aid. They do have programs and funds to help you get on your feet and help you to make it.I know a few ladies who recive it for them and the baby its not a cruch and it don't make you look bad its there to help you tell you can help yourself. Also Fresno city has this daycare center for there students I don't know how much it is but its something to look into. If you would like there is also other things you can do as an at home M. there are at home jobs online or you can start a home cleanin busniess to your friends and family like $10 an hour I did it till I got sick well a real bad back I couldn't care the vacuum up staris but you can do that like the deep clean they never have time to do bathrooms sweep mop basebords and cellin fans single level homes only inside and out windows. There I wrote a book sorry I hope it works out for you and If you would like to talk more leave me a message and I will send you my number and we can talk during the day when our guys are gone Be strong and DON'T EVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LESS OF A PERSON JUST CUZ YOU DON'T have an out of the home JOB YOU ARE A FULLTIMER WITH NO PAY MOMMY AND HOUSEKEEPER AND CHEIF AND SHOPPER AND DOCTOR AND BILL PAYIER... YOUR A M. and you rock at it God made women the mothers cuz men are the babies they can't handdle it hahaha ok a funny Be Bless and stay strong A.