My Child and Whining!

S. J,

As a mother to 3 boys, ages 13, 5 & 2 1/2 I can give you and the other moms this piece of advice. REDIRECT their attention to something else. Ignoring them, telling them they are whining or telling them that you aren't listening while they are whining doesn't work. Get their attention on something else. They will shift their focus off of whatever got them whining in the first place. Playdoh, coloring, leapfrog videos, whatever it might be, just redirect the focus.

Good luck!

S.
SAHM of 3 boys

My solution to this situation was to explain to the child that I just could not understand what she was saying when she was whining. When she was ready to talk to me in a normal voice without the whining then I was willing to listen. Each time she would start I would just say "I'm sorry but I can't understand you when your whining" and look away. Eventually she stopped the whining.

hi, my son is 18 months and just started whining too. i've tried every approach, responding with sympathy or just ignoring it and nothing really worked. so i recently started responding by saying "oh, that's not a happy sound your making. you're not happy? ok, i think we need a break, lets go sit in time-out." that has stopped it in it's tracks!
it's a tough age to really communicate due to their limited vocabulary. for now timeout seems to work. when he is older i will tell him that my ears don't hear that sound and he needs to use his words. it's a normal stage, good luck!

Funny that you say that because my "almost" 16 month old has been very grumpy/cranky also... We are in a mommy group and two of the other kids are going through the same phase.. We were told that they could be going through a "mental growth spurt" where there taking a lot in at once and getting overwhelmed by everything...My son's schedule is all over the place as well, along with his sleeping at night.. Normally my son sleeps 7pm-7am and takes 2 naps during the day.. Lately he's been going down at 6:30pm- 8am and only taking 1 nap (unfortunately he's been dropping his second one) BUT crying about 2 times in the nighttime for about 5 minutes each time ( I DO NOT go in there unless he didn't feel good).... Also, my son broke 2 molars, so his teeth are probably bothering him ( been giving Motrin for that before bedtime)... I think they have a lot going on with there bodies right now..So I don't have a lot of advance, but just to say I feel your pain because I'm going through it as well... (along with a couple of my friends)

congratulations on having such a verbal little girl!
persoanlly, I don't think you can reason with her quite yet...you can repeat her request/whine & say it the way you want it said, in the tone of voice you expect but in my opinion, that's about it...when she's more like 2 or even 2 & 1/2 then perhaps you can explain more to her...
www.askdrsears.com is an excellent resource- I'm not sure if whining is covered on the site, but certainly 'reasoning' milestones & what to expect at what age...

Different children are different of course. With one of my kids, I made a game of it. We walked around asking for things in whiney tones and normal tones. Whiney always got a "no"; normal sometimes got a "yes" and sometimes got a "no, but thank you for asking nicely".

I have three children ages 7 1/2, 5, and 18 months. My two older daughters whine and your pediatrician is correct. You tell them in a calm, normal voice, "Mommy doesn't understand you when you talk that way. You are whining. When you speak in your normal voice, mommy will be able to hear you again." Ignoring it is something you HAVE to do. Your daughter wants attention and she thinks she is getting it by whining. You must teach her how to NOT get negative attention...therefore you ignore her whining. It's annoying, frustrating and just down right irritating but in time, she'll get the point. Good luck.

The whole "ignore them" thing doesn't work for us. That only seems to make the situation worse. Maybe try starting set activities everyday. Something that she can look forward to, BUT explain to her thatif she whines, there will be NO activity for the day.

I have learned that you have to start thinking their age. I've bought books, dvds, asked doctors. The only thing that ever works forme is trial and error. Sometimes it may take you a little while to figure it out, but just hang in there.

Try distracting her. I have 3 boys ranging from pre-teen to toddler...

Tantrums and what not are to be expected and like yuor doctor says, are "normal" behavioural patterns. However, I believe by acknowledging the child's action (you saying, "I won't listen," or "You are whining,") you're enforcing they're negativity, hence, empowering them to think later on, hey I got mommy's attention before like this, let me do it again.

Two things: either walk away and distract yourself with something else or really try some off the wall thing like say you're at the dinner table and she acts up...give her a crayon and paper and doodle with her; give her a sip of juice or a piece of bread.

S., I feel your pain. All three of my kids went through the same phase at the same time. I think they whine around this age because they know what they want but they don't have all the words to communicate about it. Just keep doing what you are doing. And, maybe try to give her words or phrases to help her get her needs met better. She'll grow out of it once her vocabulary expands and she can be more specific about what she wants. Hang in there until then!

I have also had a whining problem with my daughter since she was about 1 1/2, she is 3 now. I simply tell her I won't listen while she is whining and don't respond until she calms down and talks normal. I usually walk away and go about my own business until then. The only other thing I do is make sure I tell her how great it is when she asks me something or tells me something without whining. It might seem that it isn't very effective since it has gone on this long, but it is. The time it has taken her to calm down and talk normally has reduced from an hour, to a few minutes. Slow, but effective. I don't think anything is fast with kids.