My Daughter Just Told Me She Is Pregnant, Having Cramps and Spotting

I think just by being there and listening and being a shoulder to cry on is really all you can do I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy and ended up losing the baby I wish I had a mother that was as caring as you *S*

I would have her see a doctor roght away if she has not already done so. Best wishes.
L. Habbershaw

L. what area of town do you lived in?? I am a certified birth doula and would love to come and talk to you about what she is going thru..

T.
Assisting In A Miracle

Hello,

I am the mother of three living wonderful children. I got pregnant at 17 and was 18 when I gave birth to my oldest daughter. My parents were devestated & I had NO idea what I was in for. Thank the Lord her father & I didn't get married, he dropped out of our lives when she was 13 months old.
I went on Welfare, MediCal & food stamps, received grants (federal & state which I didn't have to pay back)so that I could go to college. I promised God, my unborn baby & myself that I would do everything I had to do so that MY decision to have a child (as opposed to adoption or abortion)would not affect the quality of my daughter's life. My parents were very supported after they realized I was serious about my future & what I wanted for my daughter's life.

I graduated college and started my career with Hewlett Packard. I'm 38 years old. I've been with Hewlett Packard for 16 years. I bought my first home BY MYSELF. I met the man of my dreams. We married 2 years after I bought my home.

We have 3 children together, 2 living... ages 13 & 7 and one in Heaven. I lost a daughter in 2004 when my placenta seperated from my uterus. It wasn't placenta previa, but a rare condition similar. I was devestated & our family is still feeling the loss. She was due on my oldest daughter's birthday. My symptoms started with what I THOUGHT was spotting, but it wasn't. We hand a stocking for her every year & donate the contents to a children's shelter near our home. Having been through both situations, although at seperate times I can relate to what your daughter is going through whether she's able to continue the pregnancy or whether she loses her child. The BEST advice I can give is to let her know that teenage pregnancy does not have to mean the end of your dreams, in fact, it almost obligates you to follow them with even more vigor. Not only will your daughter's life be richer, but so will your grandbaby's. Being a Christian as well and dealing with the loss of a daughter, all I can say is let go & let God. Everything is according to His purpose & if she's not blessed with a child with this pregnancy, maybe there's a grander plan in store for her. Pray for her, your grandbaby & yourself. She'll need your support so so so much, even if at times she rejects your help, it may be only because she wants to learn herself..and that's ok. I'm sure she'll be a wonderful mommy if that's God's plan & I'm sure you'll be a wonderful Grandmommy as well. My oldest daughter is 20 now, in college full time & working full time as a loan officer for a mortgage lender. She's majoring in Psychology and has a 4.0. She volunteers at our church & she & I talk to teens at Jr High & High Schools. We're able to each tell our story. Mine about how I overcame adversity and chose success despite being a teenager mother. She talks about what it was like being raised by me & while she feels I am one of the most mature, healthy, loving & fair moms, she chooses to wait to be a mother. She wants to graduate college, start her career, eventually get married & THEN have children. She will give up her career and stay home to raise her children. She will always volunteer anywhere she can. I cannot tell you how proud I am of her and of myself. My other two children are just as wonderful, happy and adjusted as she was at their ages. I have to give credit where credit is due. My parents taught me (by their example) what it means to be a parent and God blessed me with every door he opened for me as I always chose to do my best & do what was best for my daughter. God blessed me 3 more times. I hope everything goes ok for your family. Your daughter needs you righht now, probably more than either of you realize. God Bless You! S. S.

I can tell you are already helping your daughter cope just by
asking for advice. There are so many emotional and physical changes that accompany pregnacy in all circumstances and sometimes it can be anxiety provoking for even the most
experienced moms. With any new pregancy, physicians like to
see the mom as early as possible. Keep in mind, the health
of the mother is just as important as the health of the
developing infant. There is really no way of telling if
the spotting is normal or not without seeking medical help.
Also, your daughter probably has many questions to ask about
her own changes that are great to discuss with a physician.
Open communication is more important now than even before,
so you may want to let your daughter know that you are willing
to accompany her to the doctor. Most importantly listening
to her thoughts, feelings, wishes and fears are key. I am sure
you have let her know that you are there for her and as mothers
we are always there for our children, no matter what their
age. Although you are worried, this is a time that you and
your daughter will get through and it will bring you even closer. Neither you or she are alone and there are plenty
of good medical people to help through this process. Keep
her health as a priority and take one step at a time. She will
be great and so will you! Take care!

L.,
I had an unexpected pregnancy at 18. It turned out to be an eptopic and I nearly died. I was told that I would never be able to have children since my whole right side, including the tube and ovary, had shattered. I had a wonderful surgeon,thank god, that reconstructed as much as he could. It was a very difficult time, even though it was unplanned it was still my baby, no one seemed to understand. It was hard to deal with the fact that I was pregnant and didn't want to be, not to mention that I wasn't ready for something like that, and at the same time being told that I was losing this child. I suggest that if she loses the baby to get in a support group or maybe get her some therapy. A couple of months after my eptopic I become pregnant with my husband! I now have a wonderful 3 year old daughter, but I still think of that little baby that I lost every day of my life. I never would have made it through the pain and sadness if I didn't have a wonderful support group. I hope that everything turns out to be okay, if you or her ever need to talk, I'm here. Keep me posted.

Hello,
If she does lose the baby just tell her that her body wasn't ready yet and it's probly best. All you can do is just reasure her that you are there for her and don't push her away. Just try to put yourself in her shoes how would you want to be treated. She needs you now more than ever. Good luck.

I got pregnant the month I turned 19. I am now 31 and the best advise in regards to the unplanned pregnancy is to have her talk to other young mothers find her a teen pregnancy or parenting group. There are many and if you do not know how to go about finding one let me know. She needs to know that she is loved no matter what. She needs a realistic view on the way it is going to be. She needs to know it is her responsibility now to take care of herself for the baby.

For sure make sure it is not a tubal pregnancy, if it bursts she could die also. I will light a candle for you as well as your daughter and grandchild. I am here if she or you want to talk. I have been right where she is exactly and I know many outcomes. How pregnant is she?

Hi L.! I am very sorry to hear that you are in danger of losing your grandbaby. Planned Parenthood can offer great services and prenatal help in times like these. I am kindof new to the area so that is all I know to go to here. But from personal experience, having had three kids myself, I remember that most of the doctors would tell me to dring at least a glass of water and lie down on my left side. And to obstain from sex. Having had my 1st pregnancy at 17, I know how scary it can all be. There was always something going on with me and I was constantly in the ER or the doctor's office. The water and lying down would help stop the cramping and obstaining from sex put the bleeding to a stop. I hope you and your daughter find something that works for her and remember that everything happens for a reason. :) Hang in there!

If she is in the first trimester of being pregnant, it can be normal to have some spotting and cramping.

I hope that she does not have to go through a miscarriage. I had one for my first pregnancy, but my second pregnancy turned out just fine. Now I have a healthy, happy 16 month old.

If she does have one, acknowledge her loss. Be there to support her and let her know it is okay to grieve for a little while for what could have been. Make sure that she is focused on something else that will help distract her from her loss.

If this pregnancy sticks around, just let her know that you will be there for her to count on emotionally. God Bless and best wishes, K.

If she just found out she's pregnant, it's pretty normal to have a little spotting and some cramps. However if she's a little further along she should go to the doctor.
I found out I was pregnant two weeks after my 19th birthday. Theres really no easy way to cope but you have to make sure she knows that she has to grow up now. It can be sort of a bummer but she should find a group of other moms around her age. There's one called MOPS ( mothers of preschoolers) and I know they have a group just for young moms and at Rose Medical Center there are classes for young moms where they teach information on parenting and creating a support network. Hope this helps!

Hello L.,
I agree with Tiffany,she needs to be seen by a health care provider to be evaluated.She could miscarry or it could be implantation bleeding,but the cramping makes me worry.I really suggest she see a care provider.

T.

Relax...it will work it self out! Take her to Dr. ask your daughter about the father of the child,ask her what does she want to do? she has 2 options keep the baby or give him up for adoption! Pray for strength,understanding & guildance.If she loses the baby it is God will,stand by your daughter...don't desert her in her time of need!

mother of 2 daughter & 2 sons

Sometimes that happens early in pregancy, she might now have anything to worry about but i would have her checked just to be sure. I thought i was starting my period but i was just pregnant! :)

reassure her that no matter what happens its meant to be. If its not the right time or the baby wont be healthy sometimes the body takes care of what we might not have the heart to do. My OB told me sometimes we will have spontaneous miscarriage if our body thinks the fetus wont be viable.

Hope that helps, good luck and prayers ( if you want them :))

Hi L.,

From one christian mother to another -- her cramps and spotting could or couldn't be something to worry about. It sounds like she really needs to be seen by a doctor for further evaluation.

On another note, no matter what happens with this pregnancy the Lord knows what is best for your daughter and the family.

All the best

L....the fear of your daughter being prenant is sensed...i am 24 and have had 2 ectopic pregnancies..my babies now are step-kids...has your daughted been active for long? has she been thouroughly checked for all std's??? im not saying anything toward her in a bad way...she's scared and stressed...it is possilbe to have very mild spotting. some women continue to have periods through their pregancies...but uncommon, especially if severe cramping is present...

if she was going to miscarry, napping and relaxing won't stop it from happening... go to the doctor...have a blood hbc test done and that can tell what is happening. how far she is and if the baby is alive...
God forbid she miscarried or worse. but if she is, sleeping will just promote more depression...if that is happening, please please encourage her to be active so that her hormones will not build up depression....Our God is a loving God...sometimes we have to trust more than we can ourselves..

i bet all is alright. but if not, then it is better for the baby and your daughter, because everything happens for a reason. if i were to have my two babies that i were woven in my stomach.... i would have never been here with these two angels who had no mother...who look at me with my own eyes, and i have accepted that i may never conceive. it's ok with me. because i made a difference in these babies lives that were already here...the most awesome thing is that alissa is 5. she remembers here mom and i support it all the way..but we both have a little freckle on the outside of our right palms.. the most awkward place..

give your daughter my love and thoughts...but please also remember that your feelings are sensed in the air, be there with her, not for here..feel her pain and hold her again like she's 1...belive me...that is the best medicine i wish i had...God Bless your family..

S.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

Pray, and keep praying until something happens.

Im very sorry to hear about your daughters situation... I was a young mother my self at 18 and my child and i have turned out pretty good. I would say for your daughter to call her OBGYN and get some advice there, or she can always go to planned parent hood. It just depends on how far along she is if they can help her or not....... The best of luck to your daughter and you as well.
M.

Hi L., first I am hopng you have taken her to a family doctor asap or the emergency room. Depending on your daughters age body type and how far a long she is sometimes cramps are not a big deal but sometimes they are.

Now for the real advice -- I can really give you advice because (and you will understand if you do the math) I am about to be 35 and my son will be 18 this year.

My life is not what I planned or dreamed but I have faith in God and love all of my children so it is what it is and I believe I am living God's purpose for me no matter the obstacles I took to get here.

you can email me if you like and I can walk you through some real good advice -if you live here on Maui or in Hawaii I can tell you of some "real" places to get help -- whether her choice is to keep, abort or adopt out -- keep in mind she should make the choice and a real professional - not you - should explain them to her - trust me - I wouldnt listen to anyone - also just have her back right now -my mom was incredible but it took years for me to learn how she really felt and I dint need her fears and anger then I needed her and that is what she gave me. My name is M. and if you fill me in on where you are as far as months pregnant and thoughts she is having etc the fathers invlovement I WILL help you! Just put M. please respond and when I get the email I will

look at it this way at least she wasn't 13 or 15 yrs old she is 18 yrs old is not that bad, I am a christian I got married when I was 18 and it took us 1 yrs to have a baby the 1st one God took him because he was going to be beformed, now this one I had a hard pregnancy, I had to be on bed rest and I had seazures, and well only god made the miracle and keeping him alive, now he was born on june 6,2006, his weight was 2 pounds he was born three months before he was suppose dto be born and he is alive now he is almost two months and he weights 4lb 2oz and soon he wil be comming home and he is normal there's nothing wrong with him. please let's just pray and forget that she got pregant at 18 just thank god for the miracles he wil make.

Just try to be there for your daughter, she really needs your love and support right now, espcially if she loses this baby, it's going to be tough on all of you, but just love her!!! Call and get her into a Dr. as soon as you can, just to make sure that everything is going ok with her and the baby. Does she know how many weeks she is? I have heard that sometimes you can have some spotting but not sure, best bet get her in to see a Dr. and if she is far enough along you guys might be able to hear the heart beat, that is always neat. Try to go to Dr. appointments with her if she will let you, and when she has an ultrasound you will be amazed at how much you can see. My friend is having twins and she just had a 3 dimensional ultrasound and you could actually see facial features, it was so neat!!!! So my advice to you is just be as supportive to your daughter as you can be, I know that this can't be a happy moment right now but they say that God works in mysterious ways, so just have faith in him and know that everything happens for a reason sometimes we don't know why........ but, I will keep you all in my prayers I hope the best for your daughter. Take care!
D.
Arizona

Hi,
I am a 40 yrs old and have a 15 month son and a 20 yr old daughter, who just made me a grandma 2 months ago.
Planned parenthood has great support and you can call them, make an appt. and she can talk to someone who understands and relates to her best interest. Her family doctor might also be helpful for talking and understanding.
PS
At 5 wks preg with my son, I cramped and was spotting as well. The nurse said I lost the baby, ultra sound confirmed that. Two days later, after more blood wk, my numbers went up and all was well (the ultra sound was too early.) Like I said earlier, he is 15 months old now.
Good luck

It does sound like she may loose the pregnancy. I'll bet you can't decide whether that is a good thing or not. The fetus is not capable of living outside the mother's body now and if there is something wrong with it or the mother's ability to carry the fetus to term it is better to loose it early. I also am Christian and have assisted in many births of unwed moms and although I do not believe these women/girls should be practicing intercourse and having babies they still need the love and guidance of their own mother at a time like this. If she does loose the child: God is always needing new angels to carry on his good works. He/she will be in good company resting in Gods arms and being in heaven with many other tiny angels.

Hi L.,

First of all, I would just like to tell you that I will be praying for you and your daughter. I am wondering how far along she is, because sometimes women have implantation spotting and a little cramping. Has she been to the doctor yet?

A little about me:
I'm a new mother of a 7-week old boy. I've been married for 2 years. I also love the Lord and have a strong faith in God.

Please feel free to e-mail me any time! ____@____.com

L.:

I hope all is well. My name is H. and I am a local doula. I just wanted to let you know that there is extra support out there for you and her. I also have a link to a Christian based childbirth education class here in town if you would like. Keep up the faith.

H.

I echo the advice to get your daughter to a doctor to make sure everything is okay. I also have a good friend who had a child at 18, and she has made it work--although it certainly wasn't easy. Going to school and work with a child as a single mom is hard. But it can be done.

Also remember the option of adoption. There are many, many good couples out there waiting to adopt. Your daughter can decide what is best for her and her child.

I wish your daughter the best,
L.

I was 19 when i got preg with my daughter... talk about unexpected. It is hard but all you can do is show her love and support. and whatever you do please dont be like my step-grandmother and push for an abortion or adoption if she really doesnt want it. sometimes that is one of the worst things. As for the lossing the baby part... I have lost 8 my self... So right now i have a very high risk preg... Depending on how far along she is it mught just be like a period. I had it with my daughter. When you are that young sometimes your body doesnthave tiem to react like it should. Great prenatal care is the key!

Good luck!

Hi L.-
I was scrolling down and knew that I needed to respond, even though it's been a few days. If your daughter needs to talk to anyone, tell her I'm it. I am 21 and had my first at 19 (pregnant at 18). I have been where she is about to go. I had no friends my age with children and had never been around them or taken care of them. If she needs any advice, especially the kind that the nurses and doctors leave out, I'm here.
-E.

I agree with the other women, she should call the doctor as soon as possible... In the meantime she should be resting with her feet elevated(up)... She shouldn't be doing any housework or anything with stress... Good luck and God bless...

A.Elias

Hi L.,
I am a doula and work with a program that provides doula support to expecting teens in the area. My experience has been that the teens who are in a supportive stable family atmosphere tend to come through this time with flying colors. Support her, love her, cry and laugh with her - be her mom and friend. If everything is ok with her and the baby then help her find some programs that support and educate teen moms.

If she loses her baby... support her, love her, cry with her - be her mom and friend. She's going to need you more then ever. Try really hard not to judge or be harsh about her getting pregnant. Again, help her to find a support group or maybe even just someone who's been through a miscarriage before who can tell her what to expect and how to deal with the emotions she is having. Maybe she might even want to see a counselor.

Best of luck to you. You'll be in my prayers.
C. from Minnesota

Dear L.,

I know that you posted this a while back, but thought that I would respond anyway. I hope that she has seen a doctor. If the spotting continues for a while and she has pain on one side, make sure she gets seen right away. If it is a tubal pregnancy and goes untreated, it can be fatal. Losing a child either way is difficult, even if it was unplanned. Teenagers take things so hard too. Best wishes.

L. M

Oh my gosh Amie that is horrible, I got pregnant at 19 and I was in college living with my boyfriend. I made the choice to have sex so I made the choice to raise my child. It sounds like you took the easy way out having someone else raise your child just so you could have a college degree and more money and as for your mom shame on her familiy is the most important thing to me and although my mother wasn't happy with me I was welcomed into her home if need be to raise my child her GRANDCHILD. I didn't go back but it was an option. The only reason I am saying anything is becasue I think it is horrible to make that suggestion to L.. I believe if you are going to have a child take care of him/her. It wasn't easy being in college with a kid in fact i dropped out to be a full time mom and had to live of medicaid for 2 years but we did it. Now I am 23 with 2 kids a 2 and 3years old. Happily married to a Mechanical Engineer and I could never imagine someone else raising my child. But it is not my nor amy's decision I just wanted to give my feedback on your mom tossing you to the streets. God would never turn his back on us why would we turn our back on our own children?

That is a tough situation. I was single and pregnant at 18 and lost the baby in my 2nd trimester. I don't think anything at time would have made me feel better. My Dr. did tell me that losing the baby was natures way of protecting itself and that was a little comforting. I have never been a religious person but I think if I would have had more faith it would have helped. I would suggest that you just comfort her and be there for her to cry on your shoulder without passing judgement. I did not find true comfort until I got married and had other children and then realized how much different my life would have been if that baby would have made it....God definatly knew what he was doing! It was hard to see at the time but things do happen for a reason...although it is hard to see that thru the pain. Love her, hold her and help her to not get in this situation again until she is ready for it.
E. :)

Hi L.,

My 18 year old daughter had a baby in March so I can relate to what you are going through. She had a healthy pregnancy and did not have cramps or spot as far as I know. How far along is your daughter? Is she going to keep the baby? Is the father involved? I would love to talk to you and support you in any way I can.

K.

She needs to get rest ... Take her to the doctor as soon as you get an appointment. Get the book what to expect when you are expecting it explains you a lot of things...I'll pray for all of you...Sylvia

I agree with the rest of the women, she needs to see a doctor. The symptoms she is having can be normal or sadly, maybe she is losing the baby.
I am the mother of a beautiful adopted little girl. If baby is fine and she decides to put this baby up for adoption, I know my daughters birth mother would talk to her and assist her with any questions, fears, etc. about adoption.
If she decides to keep this baby, support her. A child is a gift from god and a blessing.
My prayers are with you and your family.
B.

If your daughter is miscarring it is going to be painful. It was one of the most painful things I went through. I also had a friend that I was with when she miscarried and all I can say is God love her. If she sees a Dr. and they tell her she's going to lose the baby make sure you get something heavy for the pain. It happens far more then people realize so she needs to know that it's nothing that she did and that it happens for a reason. It will be a tough time for her and I still think of my lost baby after nearly 5 years. But it will help her to talk about it and not to hide from it.
Best of Luck.

L.
I THINK THAT YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT RIGHT NOW, AND I THINK THAT THE MORE THAT SHE IS PREPAIRED FOR LOSING THE BABY THE BETTER OFF SHE WILL BE. BUT REMEMBER NOT TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT IS NO BIG DEAL AND THAT SHE CAN ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER BABY. THAT WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE. mAKE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HER TO REMEMBER THIS BABY BY...PLANNED OR NOT THIS BABY IS YOUR GRANDCHILD
BEST WISHES
A. B

L.,
It's important for your daughter to see a doctor if she's spotting. Some doctors prefer to closely watch patients with these symptoms so early in pregnancy.

The important thing is rest and eating well. Having seen my sister cope with her daughter getting pregnant at 19, I see your concern. The best thing we found was giving her love, support and reassurance that she's not alone.

I'm sure she'll do well.

Take care,
A.

Hi there L. my name is S. . I was 18 teen when I found out I was pregnant and I did the same thing.They told me to lay down and put my feet above my hart.Only when she is cramping and if she still is spotting then she needs to go see the doctor.If you need more info just wright me. I'am there for you and your daughter. Sincerley,S.

I know this is an older post but once I read it I had to respond.

I was 17 when I got pregnant and carried 3 1/2 months before losing the baby. My mother forced me to go to the doctor when I informed her of the spotting and they gave me an internal ultrasound which came up with the bad news.

I was crushed. My mother just cried with me. Knowing that she was there and would be no matter what, in of itself was a great comfort. However, the loss of a child is the most difficult this a person can experiene (in my opinion). I know I went through a depression, the "what did I do", the "was it my fault", the "could I have prevented this" stages.

My advise would be to stand by her. Let her know you are there, but not push too much. Should she lose the baby, she will need to deal with it and accept it at her own pace.

Best of luck. And let your daughter know that if she needs to talk to someone who has experienced the same thing, she can contact me anytime.

Hi L.!

I too got pregnant at 18!! I was a little surprised when I saw blood in my underwear about a week after I found out I was pregnant! When I talked to my OBGYN, he said that it was normal around that time as long as it wasn't TOO much blood...they did send me in for a check-up!

I have to say that I am now 25, and I have 2 beautiful boys to brag about! As you probably know, God doesn't make accidents! What was very helpful for me, was my mom's support! My mom meant everything to me, and it meant a lot to me to know that she was there to support me!

God Bless!
J.

Cramps and spotting is not abnormal during the first stages of pregnancy. Tell her not to worry too much, but she should be seen by an ob-gyn as soon as possible to be checked out. If the pain increases in anyway, she should head to the ER.

There's many message boards and parenting support sites geared towards teenage and young moms. A quick Google search can pull up a few for you and her to check out.

Wow! Such a tough thing to deal with at such a young age. Does your daughter have a strong faith as well? If I were in the same situation, I would share with her that God works all things together for good for those that love him. Even though we must suffer pain, it is always for a purpose. Is she married? If not, get her involved with a Christian Pregnancy Center that can help her find some resources and such. The best thing you can do is be there for her and pray. Jesus loves your daughter and the beautiful life she is carrying, he does not want her to hurt, but wants her to draw near and walk with Him. He knows what is best for her and will not put anything in her or your path without the strength to overcome it. God bless you! I will be praying for your family. =0)

it's normal to have cramps through out the pregnancy. the spotting is normal in early pregnancy. if she is in her later months seek professional care immediatly. but either way it doesn't hurt to ask a doctor. better same than sorry

I was in that situation, only I was the 18 year old that was pregnant and the best thing my parents did for me was support me in the whole thing, not make a huge deal out of it.. meaning- don't put it out there as a horrible thing, support her and give her praise on everything everyday! It is hard because at 18 you think they are going to be kids still and have a lot of experiences, but let her know that you are happy for her and will love the baby to come just as much as you would if she was 30 having her first baby.

On the possible miscarriage again, just support her and be the shoulder she needs to cry on! Thats the most important thing for a mom to do when their daughter is pregnant no matter what age. I know because I was in your daughters shoes at the same age.

L.: Iam 45 years old. My older son he is 24 years old my little one she is 2 years old. My second pregnancy it was difficult because I was on Depovera inyection for almost 10 years I got married and he did not have kids and I stop the depo inyection and I got pregnant and I started to have cramps spotting and all the discomfort like I was having my period but I was pregnant. When I was 3 months pregnant I was sleeping and I woke up bleeding a lot (I was in Kansas City visiting my son) and I got up scared and I called a doctor in Kansas City ( I lived there for 15 years ) and she told me to be calm and call her every hour to see how the bleeding went and see if I have to go to the emergency room. I saw her next day in her office and she told me that they want to check me more and they did in the hospital. They told me that maybe I was going to lose the baby but they told me that I need to be strong and be prepared for that (eating right, being calm, trying to relax and more important to pray) I did and also I follow the directions staying in bed. for the whole month I could not travel to Nebraska. I went to church, even I avoid anything that make me upset. It works and at 43 I have my baby exactly at 9 months. It was very difficult because I hace to go to the doctor almost every week and my son need to stop everything for me. I hope your daughter receive the best care and love to continue with the pregnancy. I was doula about 7 years ago for spanish speaking people in Kansas City and I learn to be patient to be positive and relax and I use for my own pregnancy. I had cancer before on 1993 and they want to take everything from me (histerectomy) but I choose another treatment because I said "what If I want to have another baby" and at the time I was single but now I think God bless me with her. Her name is Raquel like my mother, she died at 55 (breast cancer. I give thanks every day for Raquel because she is like a big gift for my family. I hope you find the right words to lift your daugther and I hope everything is OK. My prays are with you.

aaa crisis pregnancy center is also a great place to get info or advice. I was also pregnant at 19 and miscarried (Ihave a great 16 mos old now, and have been married for 6 years) It is very painful and very emoitional, but also very common for a first pregnancy. I think everyone has given great advice, and your support is really the best thing for your daughter. By the way, I had actual bleeding during my 2nd pregnancy and everything was fine.

Hi L.,

I agree with the other posts that she will need to seek medical advice. It could also be a tubal pregnancy. A trip to the doctor could quickly set your mind at ease. My heart and prayers go out to you and your daughter. Here is a scripture that you may find comfort in.

2 Samuel 22:31 (Amplified Bible)

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried. He is a Shield to all those who trust and take refuge in Him.

K.

L.,
I know that your post is a bit old and I hope that all is well with your daughter. I felt that I needed to write to you and tell you a bit about what happened to me at 18. If your daughter does carry this baby and give birth keep this in mind. I got pregnant when I was 18. All my friends abandoned me and all I was left with was my family (mom & sister). They were upset with me but after the huge disappointment settled down they were a huge support. The key most important thing my mom said to me and every parent should say this to their expecting teen is "I will support you emotionally but you can not live here. I am done raising my babies. I won't kick you out but you will need to find somewhere to live, a job, and a way to raise this baby on your own." Until she said this I thought I would live at home and we would raise the cute baby together. Her telling me this made me realize that I would have to grow up and be responsible for me and a baby and that scarred the hell out of me. Luckily I was going to and ALC at the time and two WONDERFUL teachers there intercepted me and gave me two books about open adoption. After one chapter I realized that was the best option for me. I followed through and 9 months later I placed my baby with the best family ever. Now, 8 years later I am married and I have a 10 month old. We live in a great house, I have a college education, and my life good. I see my daughter every few months. She has met her brother twice and they look exactly alike. It's a wonderful thing. I know that were I was at then I could never have given her the things her adoptive parents did. She is the most outgoing well adjusted child ever. I thank GOD for her parents. You see if my mom would have offered to take care of us neither of us would have ever grown up right and independent. I never would have gotten on the right track in life and finished collage, gotten a good job, or met my wonderful husband and had our wonderful son. Now I know that adoption is not the right choice for everyone. I am by no means pro-life. I am pro-choice...choice to do what is right for you. If she decides to keep the baby it is so important to help her understand the hardships ahead and help her prepare as best she can for them. My mom made sure to do that for me because she didn't for my sister and she watched her make mistake after mistake and end up struggling to raise a child on her own. I love my niece but she is in no way well adjusted because of the turbulence she experienced throughout her life growing up with a teenage mom. I know this is SO long but I hope it helps you in supporting and directing your daughter to the best future she can have. By the way...the best place to go for counseling is the Children's Home Society of MN. They will help her look at ALL her options and if she chooses adoption they will assist her with that.

Good luck and God Bless...

If she is cramping and spotting, the likelihood that she could be miscarrying is high. Miscarriage is a terrible thing to have to go through. I miscarried at 8 weeks when I was 20. I was married for 9 weeks at the time. It's a very scary thing to go through because your body does things that just aren't normal. The cramping involved in miscarriage is very similar to labor pain (at least mine was). The hardest part about it physical process is that your body goes through a lot of the changes involved in pregnancy and delivery, but there isn't a baby to look forward to at the end. The worst things to say to someone who has just had a miscarriage are "I know how you feel," and "It's probably for the best." I hated it when the doctors and nurses called my miscarriage a "spontaneous abortion." 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even so, it is hard to believe that you didn't do something wrong to cause the miscarriage. Along with grief comes guilt.
I had some spotting with my third pregnancy and was afraid that I was miscarrying again, but she turned out just fine. I now have a 1 year old and a 3 year old.
Your daughter should see a doctor to make sure that it is not an ectopic pregnancy. There is a hormone that can be measured in the blood that will tell the doctors that the body is returning to normal.
If your daughter does have a miscarriage, one thing that helped me grieve was to name the baby. My husband and I named our baby "Gene" because we obviously didn't know if it was a boy or a girl. I still mark August 13 on my calendar every year.

I'm sorry to hear about the unexpected pregnancy. Most important is to love her no matter what and then 2nd would be to get her to the doctor for the spotting.

I pray that she doesn't loose it, and I also pray that if she doesn't plan on keeping it that she considers adoption.

Prayers and love from someone who owes her family to girls who were strong enough to give their babies a step up into a complete family. L.