My Nanny Is Having a Child and Wants to Bring the Baby with Her to Work.

If she's done a great job and she's been a part of your sons' lives (almost the entire life of the youngest), I would give it the chance. Changing care givers is something that is traumatic in a young child's life, it's a big change. If you could give it a trial period, you may be pleasantly surprised. I have five of my own kids as well as five daycare kids and I would argue with the statement that only kids your own kids' ages would work. During the day, I have an 8 month old, my 22 month old, another 22 month old, a two year old, and three year old. We go to the parks, the zoo, the museum, open gym. It's very doable. She would have to give her child attention, but they also have their classes that will be occupying them. I gave my newborn the most attention while the others slept and wore him a lot till he could join in with the other kids.

I think I would continue with her being the nanny for your family. I have heard of several situations where the nanny brings her own kids to work with them. How devastating it might be for a new mother to find out she might loose her job because she herself wants to be a mother.

Children are very acceptable with new babies, it isn't impossible. If your child is bussed to pre-school, then there wouldn't be a transportation issue. New baby's are very mobile, probably more mobile than the bigger kids.

If your kids love her, and you love her being your nanny, I guess I don't really see there being an issue.

I have switched my first child in three different day cares and each time was so hard on him..he had a really hard time adjusting to each place. Kids like routine.

I would keep her as your Nanny. Most people who watch children love to do things and having another child usually does not limit the mobility unless it is a space issue in a car but most cars can fit 3 carseats in the back.

You say you have loved having her take care of the boys for two years - and a nanny is an important member of the family for all the obvious reasons. It sounds like everybody is facing big transistions at the same time with school starting, new baby for nanny, etc. Maybe to limit the chaos for all one idea would be to agree to try it out for a period of time. If your nanny is capable and professional she will be able to manage juggling the needs of all three children and the current anxiety will be forgotten.

That would be my only concern as well the attention factor.

I would sit down with her and tell her your concerns about driving your child to preschool etc.

Also just a little insight I babysit-nanny for extra money and bring my daughter with. My daughter is 6years old though and I do everything in my power to be completely fair and give my attention evenly. I usually watch children that are similar in age to my daughter though so they're kinda playmates. A newborn won't have anything in common with your kids and could hold her back from going to the park and stuff like that.

I imagine you'd have to find back up care for a few days or weeks after her delivery anyhow so it might be worth it to find someone else.

Hi H.,

I was a daycare teacher myself and had my son in my room with me. For me, I was so conscious of making sure I did not favor him. I made sure I treated him just the same as the other children. Yes, your nanny will have to tend to her new baby and that will take some time away from your children, but as a quality provider, I would hope she would not ignore them and learn to balance her attention. Think of it as you having another child. You would have to learn to juggle all the responsibilities of the baby and the needs of your older 2. If your nanny has been with you for 2 years, chances are she loves your little boys and wants the best for them. She would not do anything to neglect or harm them. She would do her very best to maintain their emotional well being as well as caring for her own child. Good Luck to youand your decision. It's a tough one. I hope it all works out for the best.

I was a nanny for a year while my son was really young, and he came with me. I didn't start until he was over a year old, and their kids were 6 months and 8 years. It worked great though, they loved to play together, and I made sure the other kids were treated equally. It was the best year I have had- if I made more money, I never would have left. I brought the kids to the zoo, science museum, parks, water parks, all over, having the baby with didn't keep the older ones from still doing things. One of my best friends was also a nanny for over 2 years, and started when her son was 2 months old. She brought him with too. The girls she took care of still did everything, the only issue she had was that the older kids were rough with her baby. The only reason she stopped was because her husband worked opposite hours and wanted more family time. But for both of us, it worked great. It gave the kids other kids to play with. The baby won't be able to play in the begining, but eventually will, and your boys might like having that younger kid to interact with. For my son, the girls I took care of were like sisters. And after taking care of them every day, it was like they were my own and were treated the same. It has been a year now and we still see them all the time, and their youngest (now 2 1/2) asks for my son a lot, and gets excited when we come over. (I still babysit for them sometimes too). I would give it a chance, if it doesn't work out, you can always talk with her about that later. She may even decide if she doesn't need the money that she would like to be a SAHM instead after a while, no one really knows what they will want until they are actually a parent. I always thought daycare was just a normal thing and no big deal- after I had my son, I would do anything to avoid it. I wanted to be with him, and raise him myself, which was my reasoning for becoming a nanny. I would be a SAHM if I had the choice. Unfortunately, as a single mom, I have to make enough money to support my son, and that means he is in daycare again. But if she has been a part of your sons lives for so long, I am sure she is attatched to them enough to treat them equally to her own child. Good luck in whatever choice you make!

Hi H.,
I nannied for a wonderful family with 2 boys and also brought my infant son with. The boys were 2 and 4 so the 4 year old had preschool 2-3 days a week. I never felt like I gave full attention to my child and bringing an infant around to activities is pretty easy considering she is very experienced with children. I would definitely keep her as your nanny. Or at least give it a try. Your four year old will be able to tell you if she is favoring her child throughout the day and not sharing the attention. good luck!

Hi H. -

I too had a nanny and was in your situation where she was pregnant with her first. I was torn with the same decision. I decided that I loved having her with my kids and that I would be fine with her bringing her baby with. I then left the decision up to her because I knew that if she didn't really want to continue out of the need for her financial situation she could get a few months into it and decide she didn't want it any longer and the last thing I wanted to do was find a temporary childcare situation while she was on maternity leave only to have her come back and then leave shortly after. It worked out well for our family. I wish you the best in your situation as well.

A.

I would look for a new nanny, your paying her to give complete and total attention to your children not "equally" with her own.

I totally understand your concern. We just hired a nanny that brings her 5 yr old daughter with her. At first I did not like the fact my 2 children, (4 yr old boy & a 4 month old baby girl), would always come 2nd. We are still unsure about the whole idea but the nanny is so great we want to give it a whole hearted try. Maybe If you really would hate to lose your nanny it is worth a solid try?

I would keep her as a nanny. You are already comfortable with her. I would however consider the 3rd child into the financial arrangements. If she is going to add a child to the arrangement, you should not have to pay as much as you have been. Maybe $50 less or something? She is supposed to be a nanny for the reason of exclusively caring for your kids. Since she will be caring for another child (her own) she should get a small pay cut from you. Also be sure you find temp care to give her a maternity leave (unpaid of course unless she has remaining paid vacation).