My Son Gaggs Feels Sick Before School.

Yes, talk to the teacher. Teachers know a lot. If it's ONLY before school, then it definitely sounds like anxiety. But I would want to be certain there's no medical cause before assuming it's anxiety. He never does it on the weekends?

Since there are no complaints about school, no concerned messages from the teacher, and none of the sick feelings when his dad takes him to school, then I'd encourage you to evaluate your interaction with him.

Do you express worry and concern? Do you ask him things like "are you feeling sick?" instead of asking him things like what movie he'd like to see next weekend or would he prefer carrots or beans with tonight's meatloaf (in other words, casual conversation)? How do you respond when he runs into the bathroom? He may be feeding off your worried face and expressed worries.

Try staying really calm, acting as though he'll be fine, and yes, as someone suggested, never make a sick day a fun day (unless there's a broken leg involved, or recovering from an appendectomy or something). If you must allow him to remain home, for gagging, then have the rule of no electronics, no screens, no toys. Rest, flat on bed. That's it.

Also, make sure he knows that you'll be very busy during the day. Perhaps he thinks that you stay home and watch tv all day while eating cookies (right, as though moms have that kind of time!). But kids can have weird ideas. So tell him, in a non-complaining way, something like "while you're at school I have a lot of housework to do. The floors don't vacuum themselves! And then there's laundry, and dishes to do. I've got a busy day ahead! But hopefully when you get home from school maybe you can show me that game you've been telling me about (or help me make chocolate pudding or I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa or whatever).

Definitely consider checking out any medical issues. My daughter is now 16 and her stomach takes longer to wake up than she does. I make sure she has protein before bed to eliminate blood sugar dips during the night, and get her to take a few bites of something in the morning- and that's usually all it will be, but it's something. So make sure there aren't issues there.

But it sounds like he is attached to you and is expressing that. When my daughter was his age, she was clingy and upset at school drop off, swimming lessons, and the dentist. But I noticed when my husband took her she was fine. I was very coddling and she was pretty clingy to me, my husband was more of the "get in the school/pool/chair" guy and she complied.

Nothing wrong with you being more nurturing and him being attached to you at all, it's not a fault. However, if it is causing issues like this you need to address it. Look at what might help- could you spend a few extra quiet minutes with him in the morning before you leave? Or make the ride and car exit a game- how many Pokémon (or favorite cartoon) characters can you name on the way to school? how many steps do you think it will take you to get from the car to the classroom door (make a bet!)? "I'm going to count how many people I hear sneeze today, I think it will be 7- you count too, what's your guess? I can't wait to hear which of us is closer!" Kids that age love that kind of thing and it will distract him. There are lots of ways around anxiety like this, keep trying until you find one! But remember that this is now a habit for him, so it won't be undone in one day, keep at it. Good luck!

of course you take him to the doctor.
there is something underlying this, and you need to rule out the physical, even though i agree with you and your husband that it's probably not.
so what? this is your child. you need to get to the bottom of this.
it's a huge problem that you are letting him stay out of school and you and your husband are fighting over it. my guess is that there IS something happening at school and for whatever reason your son is not comfortable discussing it with you.
which is, of course, the biggest problem of all.
you're his mother. stop wringing your hands helplessly and figure this out. your son is suffering and needs you to help him. the doctor is obviously the place to start.
khairete
S.

Around this same age, my older DD went through a series of physical complaints to try to stay home from school with no actual findings of illness. A couple of thing were happening underneath the surface. I was home with my younger daughter, who was 4 at the time, and my older complained that she "missed me" Every day we walked her to the bus stop. She got on the bus, and her sister went back home with me. Part of her anxiety was that she was growing up and a little wistful that her sister was enjoying more carefree preschool days with more time at home. There is a lot more expected academically of kids today, and it can be stressful on young kids. Her teacher had years of experience and basically said, what they expect in 2nd grade now, had been the expectations for 3rd graders for many years of her teaching career. Another thing was a boy in her class kind of teasing her a little and acting in weird ways that embarrassed her. Her teacher reassured me that the kids were friends, that the boy liked my DD, but second grade boys just typically act quite goofy and immature when they want to befriend the girls. All very normal, not bullying, and the teacher kept an eye on it. It didn't help that I often volunteered at the school and I was so nearby, and yet she was supposed to do her own thing in her classroom. I stepped back a little being at school volunteering, which kind of forced her to work through her issues with the school staff when she was stressed out. Eventually, things resolved on their own with the help of a caring teacher who gave her a lot of empathy and took her under her wing when she got teary and complained about "missing mom" Her teacher said she went through the same thing as a child, so she understood these feelings and her sensitivity.

I used to feel the exact same way in first grade. I wasn't faking. I wasn't sick, but really felt sick. I remember the gag reflex/dry heaves feeling most every morning. My brother used to tease me for faking it, but I wasn't. I was a sensitive kid and just hated leaving the comfort zone of mom/home/family. I don't really remember exactly how my mom handled it, but I do know the feeling eventually went away by the next grade.

I would keep tabs. Ask him if he feels the same way when dad takes him and just hides it. Therapy or talking with the teacher and school counselor might help with his anxieties.

My son used to do this too. He just really wanted to stay home or be with me. He was very convincing. He would say his foot hurt, limp, cry, act like he was in real pain. Or he would feel sick...he would cry and look pale and exhausted. I let him stay home once or twice but I noticed he seemed fine pretty quickly. Then I decided unless he has a fever or is puking he is going to school. Oh the drama. He had meltdowns when he realized I wasn't ever giving in...he would get very angry at me. One time (age 8) he was mad and saying I was a bad mom because his leg was in so much pain. He made such a fuss he missed his bus. I held firm and eventually got him in the car...limping and crying. He wiped away his tears when we arrived. He saw a friend and ran up to him with no limp. When I picked him up and asked how his day was he said Great!! He had totally forgotten. What an actor. He had to mature out of it. It took a while before he got mature enough to not pull stuff like this. (Perhaps this is not what is happening with your son, but I wanted to share my experience).

This is somewhat similar to what my boy went through around the same age 8-9 and yes his physical symptoms were caused by anxiety. I would definitely get him checked out by your Pediatrician to rule out anything physical (we did) But my word of advice to you is to get on top of it sooner than later. We took a wait and see approach and had to physically carry our son into school one day. It got that bad with him wanting to stay home. Not a great thing for our son or us. Gratefully, we have a great staff and principle at the school who helped us handle it with minimal embarrassment to our son or us. But boy was that rough!
You definitely should talk with the teacher. Honestly she may not be aware your son is having any issues. He probably is trying to be his best at school. It will also clue her in more and she will observe him closer. Just remember that your child does not always exhibit the same behavior in school as outside of school. My son was fine at school, it was at home he would fall apart.
He more than likely is internalizing a lot and this is why he feels ill. Whether it is real or fake, this is what he is feeling. As far as him reacting differently with you , than your husband, that is normal. He really is trying to tell you something, he just doesn't know how and probably doesn't want you to be disappointed, angry, hurt etc with him. Also if your school has a counselor I would suggest speaking with her/him as well. They have some general coping skills to help the kids and you get through this. You really need to understand the issue first before you can address it. Yes you do need help!

We went through almost the exact same thing, same age even - with one of ours.

We thought it was a milk intolerance - one of our other kids has that, so we figured it was the milk in the cereal. So we switched milks.

Nope. It was anxiety. Only got before school. Or on first day or two of summer camp. Or before going to dance class sometimes.

Ours got worse before it got better. She had it happen at school a few times.

Our school had a wonderful trial program for kids with low levels of anxiety. She went into that, learned some empowering tips and ways to breathe, relax body, think of safe place (usually their home), and they just took a few minutes to collect themselves. Our family did all the exercises too at home to practice, and for fun - so she didn't feel so alone. So we all helped her. We focused on the positives - instead of me asking is everything ok at school (it was), we just focused on how fun school was, etc.

Basically, when she still feels this way (at the start of anything new) she will say "I feel nervous" now instead of "I feel sick" and I say, that's ok (it's her normal), and she takes a few minutes to collect herself. She still goes every time. That was the deal with us - she could throw up a bit if she had to (usually just one gag) we cleaned her up, she was good to go, and she ended up always having fun.

Does your school have a counselor? Ours was really helpful.

This is more common than you think too. We see this question a lot on here

If this has been going on for a few weeks and you haven't mentioned it to either the pediatrician or the teacher, I have to wonder why not. Does it only occur on school mornings? Then it's probably related to school or something different in the routine those days vs. vacation days and weekends. But it doesn't happen on his father's days?

If it were every day, then yes, I'd say to talk to the doctor. All kinds of things cause stomach upset: acid reflux, sinus problems (post nasal drip sends a lot of secretions into the stomach which can be very nauseating), lower GI problems, and more. When you say he has to use the restroom, do you mean he has to have a bowel movement or throw up? What breakfast have you been giving him? For example, dairy products cause upset sometimes. Sometimes food sensitivities exist to other foods as well. Keep a log of what he eats, when it's a problem, what days or menus don't show a problem, and so on.

Is he very attached to you in other ways? If you are keeping him at home,how long does he take to feel better? Is staying home a way to watch videos and hang out with Mom? Or does a sick child go to bed in his room with no TV in your house? It's fascinating to me that it doesn't happen when his dad takes him - are you and his father together, or in separate houses? And what is your assessment of his father's firmness vs. your inability to send him to school if he is crying? How many days of school do you think it's reasonable for a child to miss before you speak to the doctor or the school?

I think you and the child's father need to get on the same page here. I would rule out a medical issue unless the problem is totally unique to school days when you take him (vs. Dad days or weekends). Then I would address your parenting styles and any anxiety that your child may have, which would mean involving a professional and not just your own questioning of your son. Start with the school nurse and school psychologist and get a team involved there.

Yes, he needs to be seen by his pediatrician. My grandson had a period of time in which he vomited after he got to school. The school always sent him home. His doctor found nothing medically that would cause vomiting. One day, someone saw him put his finger down his mouth. He was causing himself to vomit.

After that he stayed at school after vomiting. He gradually stopped vomiting.

I had a period of time in which I gagged and vomited before leaving for work. When I stopped taking a multi-vitamin with calcium, I stopped being sick.

Kids and adults often feel nauseous when anxious or scared. Often because kids are sensitive to nausea they automatically gag which causes vomiting.

I would make an appointment with his pediatrician. Or call his office and ask for advice. Kids vomiting is not uncommon. The Web may also have information.

you and your son should see a therapist. to deal with any issues your son has that he acts like this around only you.

He has anxiety- should see a child psychologist/ psychotherapist. Try relaxation exercises before school, but sounds like he suffers from anxiety.

Truly, he's got you trained like a pet. Have dad take him to school and please, please, stay away. He is doing this because you respond exactly like he wants you to respond. He has you trained to do what he wants. The only way to break this cycle is to stop. Only dad takes him from now on.

I do not get up and get the kiddos off to school. My hubby does it. The kids get up and get ready and are in the car by time to go to school every single morning. If I have to do it I am screaming and pulling kids out the door. Much better morning if he does it instead of me.

Thank’s for your question "Jdoo".

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