My Son Is Almost 6Yrs Old and Too Much Attitude

I have a 7 year old and I know how you feel. I have been working with my son in being more peaceful and I have found that yoga and Tai Chi help them to release any anger and help to calm them down. My Son comes from a split family so it's hard for me to have him on a tight routine. I bought yoga for kids at target and he likes it. I have noticed a little differance so far. Dont look for an instant fix, all good things take patience. I plan to sign him up in Tai Chi in the near future looking into a location now. These are ways to bring our children to a more present and peaceful way of life. It will help you as well as you partisipate with him. I have been trying to get my daughter 15 involved, but
I believe I started to late she definitely has a mind of her own with lots of anger. As do many kids today??
Good luck god bless,
V. S. mother of 3 15,7,1 year olds.

Good Morning T.,

There are times that mommy's just can't fix it, but, the only thing I can say is tht he is angry about something. What is he angry about?

In therapy they have children draw pictures of things that make them happy. Discuss it with an open heart and a closed mouth. Let him speak. Then have him either draw a picture of what makes him sad, again, discuss it and LET HIM TALK.

Do not react to anything he is saying, just allow him to share his heartfelt feelings without thinking you are gonna freak out. He needs to feel safe by sharing. If he does, maybe he will see that things aren't as bad as he thinks.

Then, look at your attitude. Are you treating him the same as the other children. Does he feel left out? Just do an overview MINUS THE GUILT. Get to the bottom of it now, cause it's not going to get easier.

Look at diet. NO SUGAR! That is the worst thing for attitude highs and lows. What kind of games is he playing on the computer or game boy.

T., we all have a motherly instinct that is pretty much on line, use it. But, if you let the emotions in, we get all messed up.

L. Hein
Author
THE BOOK "I'm Doing The Best I Can!"
(They won't always be cute and adorable)
www.lisarhein.com

After reading this the first thing that popped into my head is he may be having difficulty dealing with a new baby in the house! If this is the case his behavior is his way of letting you know he isn't happy! Sometime kids that age still don't have the skills to put their feelings into words so they act out to get attention. Has he always been like this or is this something recent? I have to agree with the other mothers that he sounds like he needs some 1:1 time with mom or dad to reassure him and make him feel special. Is it possible he is being picked on at camp and he doesn't want to tell you? I would spend some alone time with him and try to get to the bottom of it! Hopefully it will pass and I wish you lots of luck.

Trasey,
LOL You are so right! This is a quandry. Guess it will just be a system of hunt,trual & error.
Guess you should start with the basics.
Does he take a multivitamin and get lots of water drink each day? How does he react to sugar? This type of thing often can be caused by a sugar problem. Does he have food allergies?
Have you talked w/ his Dr about this? But if I were you I would sure do the trial at home for food allergies & sugar problems.

S.

I had the same problem, sort of, with my 5 yr old. The advice I received was very helpful so I will pass it on to you. Spend some Mommy and him time, without baby brother. That might be the problem. He might feel upset or mad that the baby is there. What I did was sit down with my 5 yr old and said, I am sorry that I have not been able to spend a lot of time with you lately but today is your day. I ask her what she wanted to do from watching a movie at home just us or going out. If you can't leave the baby with anyone, do you and him time during his nap. Talk to him on his level. If he doesn't want to talk then, tell him that he can come to you whenever he wants to talk. I hope that any of this helps. Good luck.

N. J

Along the lines of what Nicole suggested, you might come up with a recurring activity that is just for the two of you. Even if it's once a week or even once a month, it can be something that he can look forward to when he knows he's got your undivided attention. I have a six year old boy who is too smart for his own good, very sensitive and seems to have anger issues, as well. It is VERY hard to deal with. One thing that has helped us is that we have a monthly activity where we focus on a different value each month (generosity, compassion, etc.) and have different little activities surrounding that value. It's fun, but it's also great teachable moments. He knows it's our time, and something his little sister doesn't get to do. If you want more info on it just shoot me a message.

First, be honest with yourself: Does he run the household? If so, and the summer camp has strict rules that are quite different than what he is used to, he may really be confused and anxious about his role in life and what is expected of him.

In situations like this, it is very appropriate to take your son for a mental health evaluation. Angry outbursts are usually a sign of anxiety/fear about something. Remember the "flight or fight" response to fear? He is choosing to fight. He feels a need to protect himself in some way. He might be unable to tell you what it is that is bothering him, because he may not even know himself.

I can certainly understand your feeling helpless in such a situation. Instead of spending a lot ot time and energy trying to guess what it is, a professional can help your family identify what is going on and work with you and your son to get beyond this.

Yes, spend time with him, but you could also take him to his doctor and tell the doctor exactly what's going on. He/she can recommend a good developmental child psychologist to you. There could be A LOT of things going on with him-- he could be depressed, have a learning disorder, have a social anxiety disorder, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, ADHD, have PDD, an Autistic spectrum disorder, etc.
A feeling of being different could cause him enough anger that he fights others. That he is anti-social suggests that he may have need for social therapy, which is usually done in groups. What is going on at home? Maybe he feels angry that you are busy with his newest sibling? Maybe Dad doesn't spend enough time with him either? Has he always been this way and it's just more noticeable now that he's around other kids more?

Sometimes it's hard to put your finger on a problem because you are too close to it to see it clearly. That's where a good therapist could come in and help you. Most insurances do cover a number of mental health issues and behavioral therapy sessions. A child psychologist can help you pinpoint the trouble and help with treatment.

T. -

I found a great new system from a success coach that I follow. It is called "Grooming the Next Generation for Success" by Dani Johnson. http://danijohnson.com. It helps you to identify your childs personality type and work with it, instead of against it. It teaches honor, respect - things that are so missing in our children of all ages. It has worked wonders with all of my children - from 14 to 3! Everyone needs this system!