My Son Is Weaning Himself from the Breast, and Refuses to Sleep in His Crib!

This is my daughter to a T. I can't get her to go back on the breast so I have been pumping while she eats her bottle so that I can still at least give her my milk. I lay her next to me and pump while she eats (she doesn't want to be held except for her night bottle) so that I can still have some of the snuggle time. But the bed things I solved. I would go in and comfort her but not pick her up. I would rub her belly and sing to her for a few minutes then I would kiss her and leave the room. I also gave her a snuggle toy to hold on to for a little comfort. It took 3 VERY long nights but she realized that I wasn't going to pick her up. Now she is back to sleeping on her own. Good luck!!

I gave up on the crib four babies ago! My babies always sleep with me until they are about 10 months old. Then I put them in a regular size bed with a rail on the side. That way I can lay by them to get them to sleep at first. Then I will gradually sit by the bed while they go to sleep. Then stay in the room while they go to sleep etc. I know 'experts' say it is a bad idea to have your baby sleep with you but it has worked every time for my five kids.
My best advice would be forget about the 'right' way everyone thinks things should be done and do what works for you and your baby. My sister pumps for two feedings and then bottle feeds her son because he is just a nightmare to try to nurse. good luck! Amy

The bottle thing sounds like a self-preservation tactic. He just wants to know he has a food source. If it is really important to you, don't offer the bottle. Put him down, let him play or take a nap, then offer to nurse if he wakes up hungry, or half an hour later if he's playing. You might also try loading him up with breast milk before you go to work, then have your husband refrain from feeding him. Again it depends on how much you want to nurse.

Make sure your son is tired when he goes to bed. For a long time I put my son in a fisher price rocking chair because he had to be strapped in, and he slept in that. Because he was still he could not keep himself awake as long. He soon learned to settle down in there because he 'knew' he could fall asleep. After that it was much easier to transition him to a crib.

Good luck.

Do you have "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears? There is a section in there about babies going on "Breastfeeding Strike", where they refuse to nurse. It can be brought on by a big change in the baby's life (such as you going back to work). This may be the problem, or it could be that he doesn't have to suck as hard to get milk from a bottle and he has gotten accustomed to that. The Strike is reversable, but takes some work. Either way, you could always pump and bottle feed, if you aren't already, and then he would at least be getting breast milk.

As far as the sleeping, at 7 months, some say he is old enough to cry it out, but others disagree. If you can't stand to let him cry, then crying it out won't work for you no matter how old he is. Because we were living in a camper while building our house, and there wasn't a place for his crib, my son slept with me until he was 14 months old. I thought it would be really hard to move him into his own bed at that age, but it really wasn't. He was ready to get his won space! So do whatever you are comfortable with.

Try to tough it out with the crib. I've spent hours leaning over the crib patting my babies backs, but just think how much harder it'll be if you let it go til they can get out of the crib( or at least be trying to). Something that worked well for all 3 of my kids was patting their backs while they're in the crib, and as they settle pat them slower and slower til you eventually stop patting but leave your hand hovering just an inch or so over them, then if he reacts to you having stopped patting, you can start it up right away and not lose any of the calming progress you've made. Eventually when you pull your hand away he won't react (hopefully because he's sleeping :)
The breastfeeding issue could be related to you having gone back to work. Or, and I'm not trying to give you a heart attack, but sometimes babies wean themselves early if you're pregnant again, because the milk changes and starts becoming geared toward the new baby and doesn't taste right to the older baby. I bring that up only because that's what happened to my sister in law last Thanksgiving and she's due with that surprise baby this week!
Good luck.

I agree--don't pick him up. It will be hard, but eventually, your frustration will kick in and you'll just do what you have to do so you can sleep again. Sometimes, I just can't even stand up I'm so tired (our issues have usually happened in the middle of the night--he would go to bed fine, but would wake up crying at midnight or) to stand there and rub his back for long enough. So I would grab a pillow and a blanket and lay down next to the crib. He would calm down, we both would fall asleep, and when I woke up to roll over, I'd sneak out and back to my bed. He didn't get picked up, didn't end up in my bed, and I got to lay down the whole time. After that worked a few times, I started laying down a little farther from the crib each time, until he really didn't seem to mind me walking out of the room.
Good luck!

i'd suggest talking with a la leche league leader and going to LLL meetings if possible. you can find a meeting your immediate area at llli.org

For the sleeping:

The Really Great advice I got was this:

Put the kid down in bed when you know he's tired. If he won't settle, then pat him, rub him, rock the crib, whatever he likes, to help him settle. If he fusses and cries (cries, not 'screams') that is OK. Let him do it for at least 20 minutes. Watch the clock--it is Really Hard to estimate 20 minutes if you're not watching the time and your darling is crying. Do Not pick him up until 20 minutes is up. At 20 minutes, pick him up, feed/cuddle/wash face/etc to get happy again. Then start over. He must learn to sleep in his bed, and not in your arms. Unless you want a 30lb, 18month old that has to have your arms to fall asleep, that is ;)

It will take some hard work, but will be worth it in the end! As with so many things related to parenting.

S

My daughter went through the same thing. This is going to sound a bit hard hearted but let him scream. Put him in his crib and tell him goodnight. Certainly go back in to comfort him but DO NOT pick him up. Rub his back, talk to him soothingly but leave him in his crib. It takes a few nights but babies are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. He'll figure it out.

Your son's manipulating you with the crib thing. Let him cry, even if it takes a long time to get over the no sleeping with mom thing. with breastfeeding, rejoice and help him learn how to use a sippy cup. you can still pump to give him milk

I'm totally not the good one for advice about the crib. I cosleep with my 3 year old and 1 year old! The 3 year old comes and goes though!

As far as the nursing contact a LC in your area!