My Son Won't Answer to His Name!

You do not say what his nickname is. Why is it so important to you that he answers to Orion? Does he answer when you call him by his nickname? If he doesn't, maybe he has an issue with his hearing, or maybe he gets focused on what he is doing and can't concentrate on two things at once.If he does answer to his nickname and not his real name, maybe he just relates better to the nick name. Ask the day care workers to call him by Orion and maybe the kids will follow and he will get used to it and respond.

Hi L.,

The exercises sound like a wonderful idea. You need to have the daycare stop calling him by the nickname that they have given him. You gave him a name and they have no right to change that. If they refuse, then you need to find a new provider. As far as losing him in a store, unfortunately at this point, if the nickname will make him stop before stepping into traffic or wandering off, use it for such an emergency but until you can get the daycare to stop calling him by the nickname, you are going to have a problem if he is spending a great deal of time there. I would consider changing providers anyway because even if you can get the staff to stop calling him by the nickname, you won't be able to get the other kids to stop calling him by it.

First off tell the daycare taht he is to be called by his real name and not a nickname. If you have to, move him into a different daycare. It will be hard to get the kids to call him by his real name now that you have let it get this far. Your best bet is to start him fresh in a new daycare and make sure they understand only his given name is to be used. Otherwise give up and call him by his nickname. Good Luck!

You need to speak to your daycare provider and have them start calling him by his full name. You pay them for a service and that service is not to confuse your child about his name. Be strong!

It sounds like he preferrs the nickname to his real name and I undestand how frustraiting that can be. All you can do keep only calling him by his given name, and if you really don't want him to have a nickname at all have the daycare stop using it as well. Honestly at that age though all they are doing is starting to test the maternal waters...seeing how far they can go! Keep it up with the mirror excercises though it sound like a good idea, and try a "where's the baby"(or "where's Orion") one as well. Also since you are already concerned about losing him in a store let me offer you something that I am offering to the rest of the moms on this site. I give out free childsafe ID kits. Just little cards you can keep a current picture, info(like a nickname and real name) and fingerprints. Something to give you a little piece of mind maybe. If you are interested email me here or at ____@____.com.

L.,

Your son knows his name. He is 2 and ignoring you. When I call my son's name (19 months) he runs and laughs. I know he knows his name but he would rather run from momma. Tell the daycare to call your son by his given name and have the kids call him as well. Some kids will not answer to there name when mom calls but let little susy at school do it he is running to her. LOL

If you are going to be a sucessful single mother you have to understand that you need people in your child's life that are going to support you, not undermine you. DOn't be affraid to stand up for yourself. I have the utmost respect for you. It is very difficult to raise children, especially w/o the love and support of the father. Don't be affraid to talk to the daycare and get them to do what you want, and if they won't go to a different day care. I went through a very difficult situation with my child's elementary school teacher this year, and it was very hard for me to stick up for what I felt was best for my child. It was even harder for me to make a change even though I knew in my heart it was best for her. I regret not changing sooner. I say all this to say keep up the hard work, and trust yourself, and speak up for yourself. When your son in 7 and in elementary school this day care will be nothing but a memory, and you will still be there, your expectations have to come first.

First you need to tell his daycare to STOP calling him by this nickname. If they don't, find a new daycare!! Second, you are doing a great job by showing him his reflexion, etc. Just make sure at all times you use his name and instead of saying "do you want..." say "does Orion want ..." it will click soon!!

You need to insist that at daycare they call him by his real name and stop using his nickname, that goes for teachers as well as other children. Explain to them that you named your child and would like them to refere to him as it should be and that it is very confusing to him. If they can't do that for you than seek daycare elsewhere.

If this was my situation, my first step would be to talk to the teachers and request that they call him by his real name which is Orion. Once they realize that calling him by a nickname is upsetting to you, they will more likely encourage the classmates to stop using the nickname as well.

All my life, I have gone by a nickname (which is a good thing in my case). Some of my best friends do not know my real name. For that reason, I gave both my daughters names that are easy to spell and pronounce...Still, some people tried (unmaliciously) to call Kayla "Kaykay" and Bella "Lala". Right away, I put a stop to it and now both my girls are called by the names that were chosen for them by their parents.

What a situation to be in! I agree about talking to the daycare people if they started this to begin with. How will they know or understand your frustration to begin with. As an educator, I admit to making up nicknames a couple times but mostly older kids who knew their name and everyone else new their name. We gave her a shortened last name because we three Britany's in the class and it was a way of easing the confusion. However, I have heard my little students make up endearing nicknames for their friends.....easy names like Kayla or Louisa (KayKay, Lulu). For the kids to change will take some loving, fun games. I usually played name games in circles. Sing hello songs with the children's names or duck duck goose variation with some names. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Use it in playdates too. For your son, I agree in emergency cases use what he responds to. In the meantime, think of a story about a king named Orion or a superhero. His secret identity could be the nickname but the heoric persona could be his real name. Talk about the star of Orion even. Things that will inspire him and sound grandious as he is as well. He knows his name, we just need him to respond with pride. Hope this helps a little.

It's not funny for you, but I laugh anyway. I truly think it's a phase. When my son was in the years 2-3 1/2 he CONSTANTLY went by nicknames that he himself made up. Let me think. There was "Greg Wiggle" ,"Anthony Wiggle", "Little Grandpa", "Little Daddy", etc. He would look right at me and say "My name isn't Alex." He would not respond until I finally called by his "name". It annoyed me too, but now I realize that he was just beginning to learn how to use his imagination and playing.

Considering I come from a family were EVERYONE goes by a nickname of their name, I'm amazed at all the angry moms on here. Wow. I go by a nick of my real name, as does my brother, both parents, my own child, who goes by a nickname of his MIDDLE name, my husband, and both his parents. I also work in daycare and the nickname giving is a sign of love and affection, so I don't know what the anger is all about. All of our babies have nicknames, and the children's parents start to use them too. BUT we also use the child's real name most of the time, and save the nickname for a moment of one-on-one playing with them. If our little 10 month old responds to her birth name and nickname, I really think your son knows his name, and I guarantee he has known it for over a year, as babies learn to associate the word (their name) with themselves by their 1st birthday. Now that I see the responses, I may think twice about nicknaming my wonderful babies in the future.

I guess since it bothers you so much, talk calmly to your daycare provider, and a good daycare will be completely understanding and strives to work with its parents. But I still think you should keep in mind it's likely a phase like most things 2 year olds do.

I have another question though, does he respond to his nickname? I ask because if he responds to SOMETHING, then it is a phase, if not, you may want to watch him closely for other developmental/behavioral issues such as him not looking at your face, little-to-no eye contact, speech or social problems. A child with late onset Autistic-spectrum will really start shows signs of it around 2-3. This was also the age my son really starting signs of it as well.

Hi L.,
If I were you, I would continue calling him by his real name and talk to the daycare about your concerns. Kids learn about limits by pushing them, and they will sometimes ignore you until they think you really mean it (husbands can do that too!). Since you have no other concerns with his communication skills, then I would say it was a phase, and that he is testing to see when you really mean for him to pay attention (did your parents ever call you by ALL your given names when you were in deep trouble?) However, since this bothers you that much, make it known to him that your only name for him is his given name. You do this by rewarding him with a small special something (treat, hugs, etc., whatever works) only when he responds to his real name. You can also practice (in your head) calling him by his nickname, so that in case of an emergency, if he doesn't answer to his given name, then you are "primed" to use the nickname, though I would just try to reinforcement thing first. My youngest of 3 kids went through a similar phase where she did not want to be called her real name, but a variation of it and she outgrew it in a few months.

Hi,
I for one would talk to the daycare about your concerns and ask them to call your son by his name not his nickname b/c you will not be using a nickname for him at this time.Also have them sit the other kids down and have them learn your son's name,I know it's hard for small kids to learn a somewhat hard name,but they need to learn somewhere,since it was a teacher at the daycare who started the nickname anyway so I think in my opinion they should correct the problem they have caused you.
Good luck!
K.

L.,

I too have a 2 year old daughter. I had a problem that was somewhat similar. The ladies at the daycare were pronouncing my daughter's name incorrectly. My little girl was coming home and saying, "No,no mommy. My name is.........." I went straight to the teachers and very nicely explained what was happening. They also have been correcting the other children now that started saying it incorrectly.

Very simply - be tough and tell the daycare your wishes. Also, tell them what you want the other children to call him. If they do not follow the plan, then talk to the director. You are paying them to care for your child, you are the boss. If they still don't follow your wishes then take him out of there and find a new place. You don't want your child somewhere where they undermine you.

L., I would talk to your daycare director and insist that they stop using a nickname you have not approved of. I would probably imply that it was very unprofessional for this to have happened at all and ask her for suggestions on how they are going to correct it. Good Luck!

Hi L.,
I agree with the other moms. First speak to the daycare providers. If you tell them that you prefer him to be called by his name and not a nickname, they will stop. I have to admit I worked several years as a early childhood educator. We sometimes made up nick names as well, however, it was also for a child that was so special to us in some way. nicole was nicolo y o le o, tatum was tate tate. Natalie was Nat nat. Every child that I am sitting here thinking of, that I made up a nickname for, makes me smile. I miss them just thinking of them. They were so special and dear to me, which is why they got a Ms Berta name. So, I'm sure it's the same, that he has a special place in their hearts. But regardless, if you don't like it, they will stop. My daughter is 2 and knows her name. It's hard for a little one to say, aliviyah, but she will point to a picture and say lee lee (a nickname). I'm sure that your son knows his name, but you are mommy and I believe he's just ignoring you. Try standing him by the mirror and asking, where's Orion?, Where's mommy. If he even just glances at himself, but maybe not point, then he knows.
Good luck

Say HELLO to the world of SELECTIVE HEARING - Yes it does start this early. I understand how hard it is for you to hear your son being called a name that you did not give him, but at the same time unless it is something bad or something that is making fun of him or his name don't worry so much. Since it does bother you please calmly talk to your Day Care Provider/Director and let them know that you would like him to be called by his Given Name and not his Nickname - let them know that it is for his safety as he is not responding to his Given Name.

As for the nickname in general - hate to say it but kids will be kids and there may come a time when your son tells you he goes by a certain name. It happens

My girls and some of their nicknames in quotes
Sabrina - "Bri" "Brina" "B" "Pumpkin"
Samantha - "Mama" "Mantha" "Bo Bear"
Savannah - "Bannana" "Monkey" "Kitten"

have you talked to the daycare and explained the problem and expressed to them that you no longer want them to use the nickname because the child does not respond to his given name?

can you change daycares?