My Space Acct: for My 12 Year Old Girl

I would say yes, this is what responsible parents are suppose to do! Congradulations! You should talk to other moms about doing the same!

Yes you are doing the right thing, so long as you have the password and talk with her about it. Tell her what the rest of us already know...that it's a *huge* waste of time! Then it's up to her to learn how to manage her time and priorities.

I have a myspace acct and there are some very nice people there. However, you are very wise to monitor it. I have received some bizarre invitations that looked quite suspect, which I immediately deleted. I think you're doing the right thing.

Hi M.. I have a myspace accoutn myself, and it is not as bad as the media has made it out to be. I think you are handling it right. MONITOR MONITOR MONITOR. Also, if you run across an account that you don't feel is appropriate you can report it and they will remove it. Also, if you are truely worried you can put a spy program on your computer that will trace EVERY keystroke made and if your child is chatting it will trace every keystroke that the person they are chatting with is making. They are fairly inexpensive.

Good luck with the teenage days.

Thank God for moms,we can change rules and regulations along the way. I do not think chat rooms or accounts should be accesible to children, especially now. There are very computer literate pedephiles out there who can hack into any system (even get your address when you didn't give out one)so I don't trust that. I suggest kids do what we did to make friends. I suggest they meet in person and actually hang out. I know a woman who's ex-husband allowed her 8 year old boy a MYSPACE acct. and next thing I know he is telling my 8 year old boy about a game called cocainekillsomething. I still feel that our kids should read a person's character in the physical. Kids need those social skills. I think you are doing the right thing by monitering her but it is still dangerous no matter what website they join. There are too many sickos. If she protests "cause my friends have one." Just relay to her that there is a lot more danger in it than the media or or friends understand and that your job is to keep her safe in anyway you can. Kids her age, and at that stage of development...Also, grown men act as kids in those rooms and things get ugly quicker than the click of a button. I don't suggest this at all for anyone with children. God bless! If there's doubt, get out.

As a mom and a young woman with a myspace account I felt the need to reply. There is nothing wrong with anyone, any age having a myspace account. The problems arise when parents don't take the time to know what their kids are doing. You should give yourself a pat on the back because it seems that you are a wonderful mother who is raising a smart and trustworthy daughter. First of all, she asked for permission...that's very mature of her. You have her password and her profile is private. You did the right thing. Some people try to have a friends list with over 200 people and that is insane. Tell your daughter she will get friend requests from perfect strangers, deny every one of them. You don't know who is on the other end. I only have 40 people on my friends list and I know every one of them by first and last name. It's fun to receive Holiday wishes from them and see new pictures of my friends kids on a regular basis. Kids can't always socialize in school, at least we hope they aren't doing too much of that, and they need an outlet. In fact, I wouldn't have a mamasource account if it weren't for myspace. Myspace is not the problem...it's parents who don't pay enough attention to their kids. You're doing a great job and tell your daughter she is also.

It sounds like you've taken precautions, so it's probably alright. I won't let my daughter have one, and it would be nearly impossible for her to do anything behind my back on our computer at home. That's not to say that she couldn't do it somewhere else, but the majority of girls in her circle of friends don't have computers anyway.

I think that you are right. What I would suggest is looking at her friends' pages as well. Look at the content, the comments. That tells you alot about what's really going on.

Yes, you are doing the right thing. From someone who didn't have a mother to watch her. Just trust your daughter, but keep a close eye on her. Things can happen, after all it's the net. Just talk to her and let her know why you need her password and all. Also let her know that you trust her.

MySpace is great. Having a computer-savvy kid is great. But all the tools and protection in the world isn't going to help you daughter stay safe online. There are predators, hackers, spammers, etc etc etc, and the only thing that will only let her see what you want her to see is YOU. She's almost a teenager, which means she's more likely to start bugging you about privacy and picking fights about whether or not you trust her. Here's my advice:

-don't stand over her shoulder, but don't let her use a computer when you're not in the room
-tell her that you trust her, it's all the people on the Internet that she can't see that you don't trust-and mean it!
-your house, your computer, and remind her that you have the final say about what she can and can't do online.

It might sound a little generic, but I have an almost 5 year old and an 8 year old who use the computer and internet frequently, and these things have kept the big fights from breaking out (and yes, they both have MySpace profiles).

Well had wanted to send a message to all you moms about MYSPACE when I made my because my cousin daughter had one and I found out. So what happen she started talking to older boy, talked about sneaking out and was telling her friends to lie to her mom about certain things. As ya'll are thinking we canceled her MYSPACE. Then she made another one behind our backs but I caught it again, changed her password so she wouldn't be able to go into it. Finally her mom is not allowing her any more computer time and her outing are with family or very close friends.

My advice be open with your daughter. Remember check everything from bulletins to blog to inbox to sent mail. Go to her friends all see what they are bloggin about. Just please keep yourself up to date with everything she is doing. It is a very dangerous world out in cyber. You would not let her roam the streets and talk to anyone right?

Some people do know how to see private one too. Change her age I put my age at 77, don't put your address, when you put picture see what the kids are wearing a school shirt will tell someone where they go to school.

Just beware!

I hope this has not scared you in any way. I really feel like MYSPACE was created with good intentions. I keep my in laws up to date with my children. I have found old friends and new ones.

Hope this helps.
L.

I think if you're going to allow her to, you're doing the right thing by checking her stuff. It's also important to make sure she KNOWS you are checking her account and why. Be sure you're telling her that you do not distrust her, but just want to protect her from things out there she does not know about. I check all sent messages, comments, received messages, and trash...just to make sure I'm not missing something. I would also keep up with the bulletins and groups she decides to join. She could be seeing something you're not privvy to.

yes, you're doing the right thing. just moniter her closely. tom- the creator of myspace has a section in the FAQ part that will tell you how to keep yourself safe on myspace. there are several tips. definelty keep her profile set to PRIVATE and don't allow her to add any friends that she does NOT already know. myspace can be fun and safe if you are smart about it.

I have a fourteen year old & I let him have a my space account and like you, I set it up for him and have his password. I set up one for myself also so that I can go on his to see what other people put on his comments. I also fequently login to his account and see what he is sending and writing. I think that it's okay to let kids have one as long as the parents monitor what they do on it. I have a a girl on my friends list (who I've know all her life -12 yrs.-and you should see some of the things that she puts! Very inappropriate for her age and I know for a fact that her mom does not check what she does on myspace. I also have a 13 year old step sister, which my mom forbides her to have a myspace account, well she has one any way. She asked me not to tell my mom or her dad. I think if kids want something bad enough, they will find away to do it. In this case, it's better to let her have one instead of her doing it behind your back. I think as long as you monitor what she does & let her know not to give info out and she knows that you check her account, I don't think it would hurt. There are worse things that our kids could be doing then going onto myspace.

Hope this helps. Keep me up to date. : )

T.

Hi M.

You are doing the right thing i have a 17 yr old and i still monitor her with everything that is going on we have to do this to protect our children

Tricky question with the "Myspace" account. Of course we want to trust our children, but we just don't know who is talking to them over the internet. My niece has an account and found out she changed the password and posted her home address and phone #. Scary thought. She is only 14. I agree with the other comment about letting our children meet friends the way we did, but I know times change.
To make this short, I guess I think that she should wait before having an account on that particular website. I have one and I see what people post, even on private. Just my opinion, but it can be very inappropriate for that age.

You are right by all means, if you forbid her to do something all the more reason for her to do it behind your back!! BUT as safe as you may be about having all the passwords and her info., you have to keep in mind that she can always check it from a friends house and you will never know. If she sends a message to someone all she has to do is delete her inbox, sent, and trash and you will have no idea what was said or to who. Just becareful there are alot of twisted people out there! And no matter how much we try to protect our kids we can't protect them from everything! They have to live and learn just as we did as kids!! Keep up the good work!!

I think absolutly. As far as I'm concerned you have to pick your battles. You can't say no to everything, save that for the really important stuff. Also, you have to give freedom in order for her to prove she's trustworthy. Just keep an eye on it and check often to make sure she hasn't changed her password. It may help her to feel trusted if you check it when she's not around. She knows you'll do it, but the less often she thinks you do, the better

As a high school teacher I have seen first hand what this site can accomplish when it comes to vindictive little monsters who are bent on destroying one another. I would get rid of my computer before I let my child have an account there.

Good luck.

i would think so because like u said she would probably do it behind ur back.....when i was younger my mother restricted me all of the time but soon realized that made me want it more so she got smart and talked to me about it and well scared me to death (dont do that it could back fire, by the way) it did work for awhile but i figured it out with time....i have a little girl and two young boys and i often worry about all of those things....the only solution i have is to talk to them and try to let them know that no matter what they do whether it be good or bad to let me know and we will talk about it and discuss why it was a good or bad decision and deal with the consequences together....the internet can be a good thing but it can also be a scary thing...ur key thing is to make sure u watch her closely but try not to get so close that u smother her cause that is where the extra profiles come in the ones u dont know about...if u do find something distasteful wait before u talk to her give her a chance to come to you and if she doesnt then go to her and talk to her about it....i hope this helps and i hope i didnt scare u good luck.......ttyl byeeeeeeee........T.

Well this has been a BIG issue in our town. We have had several teens (14 and younger) invite men to their house and these guys were from out of state! Sorry but I don't trust the internet, and I don't feel that kids should be aloud to have access to it till they are 18 (to these websites anyways.) I think it is a grea reconnecting tool for people in college or who have been out of highschool, but not for teens. They talk to thier friends everyday at school, on the phone, texting, and now myspacing. Just because it is set to private doesn't mean no one can't look at her picture or google her name to find her address. I am just giving you very real info. These pedifiles are professionals and they know how to get around myspace. I am not saying don't trust your kids, just protect them. Sorry that this seems long but I feel very strong about it. Good luck with this and I am glad you are at least taking the steps to insure her safty.

Well I use myspace mostly to catch up with high school friends who are in the military. And it's not as bad as the news makes it out to be. Yeah I am sure there are creepy men out there but, just because if they happened to write to her it doesn't mean she has to talk to them. She can block them or even report them to myspace authorities. Also I'm not sure where you live at but here in Texas if an adult so much as asks a minor about any type of sexual acts or favors he can still be arrested for soliciting a minor even if they never meet in person. Also I'm sure you have done a good job in rasing your daughter, you should trust her to make good judgments. I know that you and I grew up in a different time and there were less dangers out there but, you need to have faith in her. It's very good that you have her passwird and you can monitor her and that is a good thing to have . Mot parents don't their kids computer goings on and thats when problems start. But I say what you are doing is fine let her be semi-independent but also keep an eye on her.

I agree with most of the other women who have commented. You are doing a good job by knowing what is going on, I hope that the computer she is using is not in her bedreoom. They say that is even more dangerous. I was watching Oprah one day and she had this boy who was straight "A's" and it got really bad. And what ever you do do not let here use a web cam out of your site. Peifiles are desperate and will say and do what ever to get young people attention.

Me, Personally I would not let one of my daughters have a myspace that young.

Be Blessed
D. M

Yes.....If you see things that you don't care for or if you don't like the verbage they use or that she is flirting. Don't freak out. Give her her space but at the same time keep an eye on her and make sure you keep her safe. If you treat her like an adult with respect and show you trust her and let her know that she can always tell you anything and count on you to be there. Remember look at everthing as if you were in her shoes rather than you looking at it just as a mom. You will be good to go.

I have a 10 year old daughter and i forbid her from having one. Not saying that its wrong as long as you have time to monitor it. our computer is in the livingroom and I wont let my kids go to any website without first asking. My daughters friend has myspace and she sent me a friend request and that just made me wonder who else she has sent requests to without her mothers knowledge. very dangerous business.

Maybe you should set up a myspace account of your own to monitor her and her friends more closely. if you do you'll get to see more of what they are doing on there.

My best friend back in Seattle has a 14 year old who insisted on having a myspace account so like you she let her as long as she had her password but ALSO set up a myspace account of her own and added all of her daughters friends as her friends so she could make sure her daughter AND her daughters friends weren't posting anything inappropriate. She periodically gets on to her account and looks at the bulletins, pictures etc to make sure everything is appropriate. She did have one incident where one of her daughters friends had posted some things she shouldn't have so she talked to the girls parents about it and is now acting like the myspace police for all of her daughters friends (she says it makes her feel better about sleepovers and things). By being on myspace herself she can log on during her lunch at work to make sure her daughter isn't online when she is supposed to be at school also.

Good luck!

Well if your not doing the right thing then neither am I ! I think that as long as you can monitor their mysapce then its ok.I dont see anything wrong with it. I set up my sons myspace account and let him pick his passwords ,and yes I have them very handy. You have to build trust some how and sometime . Why not sooner then later.this is one way to do so I believe. S

as long as you monitor her, it is good to let her have freedom. if you were to say no and she is a typical 12 yr old, she would probably go behind your back. make sure and check it every day and just let her know that you are doing it and tell her why. there are cases all the time of child molestation being solicited on line

My son has a myspace account as well as everyone of my brother, nieces and nephews ages 11 up to 23. I watch and check everyday for thing that involve sex, drugs or gangs on all 13 of their myspaces. So far I have had to get on to 1 nephew for the drugs comments. I actually turned him in to myspace and he was deleted immediately for the comment. Now these kids know I mean business.

My sister n laws have no Idea what these kids do or say, but as the good aunt I have my families best interests in mind. I think Myspace is great. We all have friends and family in Florida and other parts of Texas that we keep in touch with. We send comments to each other plus pictures to keep everyone up to date. Beside this year we had 3 new babies born in Florida and 3 babies in texas (2 are twins). Everyone wants to see all the babies photos.

Just keep doing what you are doing and keep your kids as your best friends. The only people who don't like Myspace are the ones that aren't friends with their kids and keeping eyes on them.

God Bless You!!!