My Three Year Old Will Not Go to Sleep!!!

Stop the TV now. You might have to remove the TV from his room, possibly on a rolling cart. Also no sweets or caffine after 5pm this will give him time to slow down after a hard day. The only stimulation he should have at bedtime should be soft music played very low so he will have to be quiet to hear it. The music should not be rock,hip hop, rather you might try country, or classical. Hope this works for you. It worked for me.

Try the sticker chart method and start by putting him down no later than 7:30. Tell him that the chart is his and he gets to put stickers on it whenever he goes to sleep when he's told. Consistancy is key so you have to stick with a routine. It sounds to me like he's overstimulated and tv is the last thing he needs. Try a relaxing dvd to help sooth him when you put him down and if he gets up, put him right back until he stays put (he'll give up after a while, but don't you). Good luck!!

You don't say how much he naps. I found that my three kids at three years of age couldn't get to sleep if they napped. Its a difficult age because, in my experience, they were really tired at dinner time if they didn't get a nap, but if they had one they were up late. I tried to limit the nap, or keep them up with play and bathtime until between 7 and 8pm or so, then if they slept it would be all night. I couldn't take them in the car or let them watch tv in the late afternoon or they'd nap. I hear about other peoples kids who take 2 hour naps and then sleep another 12 hours at night. My kids didn't need that much sleep.

J.

This is going to require untold patience on your part, but once you've managed to get him to sleep for a few nights, you'll be SO glad you endured.

I encountered this, but with my daughter. You've recognized that the TV isn't a good idea, and keep in mind that as your child grows, they'll actually WATCH the shows instead of just using it to lull them to sleep.

I began by using a night light for my child, and starting an hour before bedtime each night with "wind down time". Begin by telling him an hour before that it's almost bedtime and time to wind down. You will have to be sure that the environment is calm in order to stop any stimulation he's receiving. This is an excellent time to read to him, try to get him to snuggle with you, etc. About every 15 minutes, remind him that it's almost bedtime and continue to keep the environment calm, i.e. turn off some lights, turn down the TV if it's still on. When bedtime arrives, he's had an hour in a calm, quiet environment and over time, you should find it easier and easier for him to "wind down". It's important to place him in bed and "Nanny 9-1-1" style, keep him in bed, no matter how many times you have to place him there. Eventually he'll wear out.

Also, KEY POINT: NO CAFFEINE!

Good luck, I hope these tips help!

I had a similar problem with my 4 year old about a year ago. It got to the point that I was so tired by the time she would go to sleep that I would be ill with her. I talked to her doctor and what I did was I let her cry it out. Everytime she got out of bed I put her right back in it, told her I loved her, and told her it was time for bed. It took about 5 days but by the 6th day she laid down and went right to sleep. Is your son taking a nap? It could be that his nap is to long. Sometimes when my 4 year old takes a long nap it is hard to get her to go to sleep at her regular bedtime. I hope it works out. E-mail me anytime and God Bless.

All of this seems to be very good advice. We have had the same problem with my 2 1/2 year old in the past. One thing that most people don't think about is bath time. We found that bath time right before bedtime was not working for us. My daughter would get very excited in the bath and it would actually make her more awake. She now has her bath in the mornings. At bedtime, we put on our jammies, have a glass of warm milk, and read some books. Then, I start giving her warnings, like "Lights out in 5 minutes," and "One more minute until lights out." Most nights, this works without a problem. Sometimes she will still fight it a little bit, especially if she's still "reading" her favorite book, so I will give in and say, "Okay, five more minutes, but then we have to turn the lights out," and she will agree to that.

Hi A.! Mom of an 8 yr. old here. You are going to have to toughen up. It may take a week or 2, but start pushing the routine back earlier. This is a power struggle and you have to remeber you are the mom. He may cry a few nights, but be strong. No means no. You have to start now or he will not listen later.

There is good book Raising Boys by Dr. James Dobson.
I have a strong willed little girl and she will clean your clock if you do not set boundries. Children actually crave them. This book will help. Good luck and I will be praying for you!
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D. Stone

Hi! I feel your pain I myself have a three yr old boy who is a tough one to get to sleep. There is a tea for kids called sleepy time tea and it is at wal-mart/walgreens. Try also using the night time lotions it seems to work. I hope this helped you some. Let me know how it works!

J.

Hi A.,
I also have two very active boys 4yrs. & 2 yrs. old. I am not sure if you tried this but, try to use Equate Baby Bath Camomile & Lavender bedtime bath (liquid soap) and the Camomile & Lavender baby oil gel. Another thing I did for my boys was buy one of those plug in lamps (the aquarium) or you could get a radio that plays different sounds (the ocean, nature etc.) Also try not to do sweets (anything w/sugar) about 1 1/2 hour or 2 hours before bed time. I hope this helps. Let me know.

T. H.

My 5-yr-old is a total night owl. It doesn't matter if she had a nap or not in the afternoon. It wouldn't bother me so much, but she keeps her exhausted sister awake until 11 pm or so. I usually just have her get up and snuggle with me for a while on her own. She eventually gets tired enough that she goes to bed. Nothing else has ever worked for her- strict bedtimes and routines, limiting activity, nothing. She simply isn't sleepy; she needs 2-3 hours a night less sleep than her sister.

He has to get enough physical energy out before the bedtime routine. Try taking a walk in the late afternoon, or taking them to the park. Plan a simple dinner, and when it is over, start the bt routine. Bathe, story or 2,turn on anoise machine, or play classical soothing tapes. Let him go to sleep by 7:30. All small children need 12 hrs of sleeep. TV has been proven to lower reading abilities and a variety of other things. I hope there is not a tv in a 5 yr olds room. Talk about bed while you are getting ready- when it is time, he goes in, you kiss goodnight, and leave. If he comes out, return him over and over till he stays. It will take a few days.

My son is 4 and has always been this way too-- very active during the day. What time does your son get up in the AM? I don't let my son sleep past 7:30am on the weekends and during the week he is up at 6:20 (he is in full-time care-- so he has to be up early). Also, he does not nap- so now he is really going to sleep by 8pm. I guess my question is.... how much sleep OVERALL is he getting-- does he nap? As my son started to give up his nap, about age 3-- if he fell asleep during "quiet time"-- I would not let him sleep more than 30 minutes during the day for a nap-- he was cranky when I woke him up-- but otherwise he would be up all night. As kids get older, they don't need as much sleep so be aware that if you allow him to take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon-- that takes time off of his bed time. I also allow my kids to take small books in their bed to look at while they fall asleep or one little toy (like one of his Thomas trains)-- I find this occupies his time until he can fall asleep.

Good luck.

I'm also 34 and a mother of three and my youngest is not as good of a sleeper as the first 2. Personally, I think it is because as we mommies get older we appreciate being a mom even more and in turn let our little ones walk over us. We can't help it...they are so cute and now we know how fast the time will fly by. I figure you have 2 choices...buckle down and stick to your rules of a proper bedtime and no tv or just do whatever it takes to get some rest. Either way it will probably be tough on you. Mine is finally sleeping well because we get to give him Zyrtec every night for his allergies. Thank goodness for meds!

If he cries when you tell him he can't watch TV, I would have the TV suddenly be mysteriously out of order. Unplug it or disconnect the cable so it just doesn't work. It will take the battle out of your decision. Also, the suggestion of radio by one of the other responses is a good one. It drowns out the sound of strange or scary things, but still allows for a darkened room. Put on a story tape or CD or a radio station that you trust to be family friendly like K-love (88.9 in Shallotte, NC). All of the no sugar/no caffeinne suggestions are important too. What is he getting to eat and drink at Gramma's? Share your concerns with her and ask her to help find alternatives to these. I hope it goes well for you.
God Bless,
Jennifer

Make sure he hasn't had any sugar at least 3-4 hours before bed - yogurts, etc... Get rid of his nap if he has one. Give him some warm milk with chamomile tea about 20 - 30 minutes before bed. Talk to him, and tell him how everyone needs to sleep - horses sleep, superheros sleep, firemen sleep etc... Explain how you actually grow when you sleep. Turn the lights out and keep the routine for more than 4 -5 nights. Don't expect it to work the first few days, patience.

Good Luck and remember some children need less sleep than others, although, sleep does encourage more sleep!

HI my son is very active also, he is 9 now. However he was always god about going to sleep. What I did was make a cd of all calm songs and play that for him. Maybe music would do the same as the tv without the need to watch anything.

have you ever watched the nanny on abc. she knows how. very good parenting skills.

For us, consistency is the key. A consistent bed-time routine, a consistent bed time (7:15), the same classical music cd at night, consistently putting them back to bed when they get up, a consistent wake-up time. And when I put them back to bed, the first time I will remind them that it's bedtime, they need to go to sleep, and they need to stay in their beds. After that, I just put them back in bed without talking to them (which is hard because they always have something they have to say to me). When my kids get overtired, they get crazy and have a hard time going to sleep so it's also important that I get them to bed before they reach that too-tired-to-sleep stage. I actually had this problem last night- in honor or our dog's birthday and a snowday, we made a cake and I let my 4 and 2 year old have a small piece after dinner. By bedtime an hour later, the sugar had kicked in and they could not/would not go to sleep. So I would also suggest cutting out/cutting down on the sugar starting in the late afternoon. If he won't drink plain milk or water, but the 100% juice with water. Read labels and cut out anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup (which is chemically manufactured sugar). You'll find it where you least expect it, like in ketchup.
Good luck!

You should cut out his sugar intake. It sounds like he is on sugar overload. It may be from juice, flavored milk, or a number of foods and drinks that you may not realize are filled with sugar. Some children can not handle sugar well. Also, I don't think children should have tv's in their rooms. Their bedrooms should be a place for play, reading and sleeping. Tv should be watched in the family or living room. You should remove the tv all together and punish him if he gets out of bed. I have a three year old and they will try to control us if we let them. My daughter tries that too. You have to parent him even if he gets mad at you. He won't be mad at you forever and it won't be the last time in his lifetime that he'll be mad with you.

I had a problem with my 5 year old staying in bed and what I did, instead of just punishing her for misbehaving, was I made a "Good Behavior" Chart. Every night that she stayed in bed without fussing she got a "star" on this chart. At the end of 6 nights she got what (to her) was the best reward, to sleep in our bed (but for him you could let him watch TV in his rooom or something.) If she had a bad night though, all stars were taken away so it had to be 6 CONSECUTIVE to get the reward. It worked like a charm! I even added another column with other incentives for which she could earn stars (i.e., brush teeth, dress yourself, reading, etc). After 6 consecutive she earned a reward, such as a piece of candy.

Hi! My son is now 11. I allow him to sleep w/ music on but no tv. Be consistent. There minds get too activated when watching tv. Be firm. It will take a couple weeks but allow him to cry. Be VERY firm. Keep putting him in bed and put lullabies on for him to begin w/ until he gets older and can choose his own music to listen to. Also no snacking right before bed that gets them going too. Keep putting him in bed and make sure you repeat to him his instructions...lay down, go to sleep it is time for bed. Over and over. I had to do it for a whole year w/ my 11 yr old when he was 4. Even now sometimes I catch him reading under his blankets w/ a flashlight and I still have to get after him! :) But he knows now bed time is bed time. He learned that at age 5 finally! So good luck...being consistent is the key! Be strong mom! :) Trust me you will be rewarded in the end just stay firm!

Sandie H.