My Toddler Wont Eat, Should I Force Her?

have you talked to her pediatrition? There could be a medical reason that she's not eating. Also, by 18 months, most children are on solid foods without formula, which may confuse things. I would def. go to the doctor, though, to rule anything medical out first and maybe they'll have some tips if its not.

Did this start after you introduced the milk/dairy back into her diet? If so, then stop all dairy again and see if she becomes less picky. Picky eating is often a sign of food allergy/intolerance. She may not be "allergic" (IgE--which is all that blood & scratch tests test for) to the dairy, but it is possible that she is still dairy intolerant (which may be causing the itching, crankiness etc.) The only way to know for sure is to eliminate the dairy from her diet and see if she gets better and then try introducing it again later on.

Another possibility is that she is picking up an illness, in which case you should make sure she is getting enough fluids (if formula is all she'll take, then let her have it). At this age, she will be fine for a couple of days on a formula diet. If she'll eat chicken and tomatoes, let her have them. Also try offering her veggies in unusual presentations (my daughter loves frozen peas and carrots--still frozen), roasted eggplant mashed with olive oil and a bit of salt, and guacamole and has since she started eating) Also try offering her some soup/broth instead of the formula and see how she likes that.

Before you begin forcing her... check in with her pediatrician first. Is her tummy bugging her? Is it distended at all? She may be having a phase with food (Sometimes, we can go without for a bit, then make up for it...). However, her little body may be having a time processing foods you are giving her, too. (I still won't eat ham & zucchini now!)

It could be she still has the allergy to dairy, and maybe has not fully outgrown it as you thought. If she has the allergy to eggs and soy, there very well could be an intolerance to a grain in there.

If you don't want to take her to a doctor, then check in with a holistic nutritionist. I am guessing they may also be able to tell you what the case may be, but if anything, they can provide you some other ideas of foods to give. (Chicken and tomatoes are not fun foods for this age, and tomatoes are very acidic on the tummy anyway.)

From the foods you are posting, I would make sure you are really watching the textures you're offering her for one. Two - think 'green' veggies like beans for example. Corn is another. Give fruits like banana and apple cubes. Try this first.

(Not many little ones will go for 'adult food' or 'taste'.).

I'm wondering why she's on formula too...

At the same time, toddlers are really picky. They are really good at grazing and eating little bits of food here and there. I found with my daughter when she was teething, she was really reluctant to eat. I was still nursing and if it wasn't for that, I'm not sure what she'd have survived on. It seemed like she survived on air most of the time. Would your daughter drink smoothies maybe?

I would not "force" any child to eat. That is a good way to make food a battle and a control issue as well as set the stage for eating disorders. I agree with the other poster that it wouldn't hurt to check with your pediatrician to make sure nothing medical is going on.

I think you're on the right track about the bottle and having too much formula... but also consult your pediatrician! Has she had her 18 month checkup yet?
Four teaspoons of ham and zuchini is great! Remember that toddlers stomachs are about the size of a walnut!
My dentist told me his 2 year old was drinking 8 bottles of milk a day and no solid food, so they threw all the bottles away one day and she ate more solid food in a week than she had eaten in 2 years!
I do not recommend this method...way too drastic...I feel bad for the grandmother because she was the one caring for the child while the parents work... (unless it was her idea!)
Anyway, I really think you're on the right track. Also, children don't usually have formula after 12 months old. Was this because of her food allergies? The formula is probably providing all the nutrition she needs...
You may have to start by feeding baby food since she's not used to solid foods. It will probably take some time... Maybe she has forgotten how to eat herself!

Dear Y., From all that you said I think your baby is full from the formula. If the doctor is not worried and her weight is good then she is OK. When she is off formula she may go back to eating. She could also be teething. Keep offering healthy foods. Grandma Mary

I had healthy kids that would eat just about anything. BUT, they both went through spells of not being interested...my peditrician said "put it in front of them. If they are hungry they wil eat."

Talk to your pediatrician. However, mine had my girls off a bottle at a year. He INSISTED. At meal times I offerred them the same food we were eating. We ate a lot of Hamburger Helper, Chicken Dumplings, etc. Try soups and crackers. Spaghetti O's. Mine loved Oatmeal, Cream of Wheat. Grilled Cheese. Steamed Brocolli to dip in cheese, Hotdogs (split the in half and then half again, then chop 1/2 inch bits... I'm paranoid about hot dogs and choking. Sprinkle with shredded cheese), French Toast... if all else failed mine would eat French Toast.

I don't know about everyone else's babies, but mine always wanted a bite of whatever I was eating... Fix yourself a big bowl of something and sit down somewhere near her. DONT offer her a bite, ignore her like you're about to eate it all by yourself. If you have a puppy, offer HIM a bite, but not the baby. A little jealousy never hurts either.

The best thing my peditrician EVER told me was:

"T., YOU ARE HER MOTHER. I can give you advice based on medical research, but you LIVE with her. Use your instincts and raise your baby to the best of your ability. She'll be FINE". Heck, I just wanted to know if I should use Apple juice or Pear...

Of course, that was back in the "olden days" when we could still give them decongestant! LOL...

Y.,
She only needs about 1-3 cups of milk at 18 months make sure you do not give her more the 3 cups or 24 oz in 24 hrs other wise she will not feel hungry for food. Pretend that she is eating normally and offer her food just as you normally would, breakfast lunch snack and dinner. You might want to offer food first before you even let her see the liquid she gets along with it. If she is hungry she will eat at least a little bit of what you are offering. And don't worry, she will not starve herself. Just be sure NOT to supplement her meals with more milk because she is not eating food. This will only encourage her to keep doing what she is doing.
Good luck
E.

Hi Y.,

I have a 15 month old and just complained to the doctor about this last week. His response was that if he is gaining weight (slowly but surely he is), then don't worry - it's our jobs to place healthy meals in front of our children. They will eat when they're hungry. He also said at the toddler age is when they start to exert their independence, and it usually starts with food.

I was STRESSED out spending the day trying to MAKE him eat. Now I just give him food, and sure enough he is eating when hungry! I also found that my little one likes to snack, so I always have grab and go food and try to give him some throughout the day.

Good luck!

I've been in your shoes. Its not uncommon for toddlers and preschoolers to get super picky. My oldest two went through an entire year where all I could get them to eat was her peanut butter only sandwhiches, he would only eat cheese sandwhiches, they'd eat morning cereal and mac and cheese. That was it. For a year. They were 2 and 3 at the time. My doc reassured me that since they were taking their vitamins, they were still getting the protein they needed from the peanut butter and the cheese. Even the sugar cereals, while not the best, still have lots of vitamins in them. He told me that kids are not capable of starving themselves, when they are hungry, they will eat. And eventually she will outgrow it. My two are teens now. fully grown, healthy and love lots of different types of food. If you force her, you make eating a battle and that is not an area you want her to feel negatively about.

Since she is not allergic to milk now I recommend weaning her off formula unless this is something your pediatrician has told you she needs. Formula is a complete meal. Formula is everything a baby needs to live, it is the food they eat. So, if you are giving her formula she is eating, well, drinking her nutrition. She has no need of other food. Formula is complete. If she is still taking a bottle then just use it to give her fluids for now, too many changes at the same time is hard for anyone. You can strt giving her tippy cups with her favorite drinks in them to get her used to them. J needed to suck so he stayed on the bottle until he was 2 1/2. He just put it down one day and didn't pick it up again.

If you decide to wean her off the formula I recommend this way.

If you cut the formula and start the baby on regular milk cold turkey then you are going to have some bad, stinky, diapers. One of the kids in my child care center went cold turkey and her pooh was so bad I puked every time I had to change her. I changed diapers a dozen times a day and only hers was that bad. Also their little systems take time to adjust.

Since you have been trying to give her regular foods she may not have such a bad time but her tast buds have to get used to the new flavor of milk.

Start using 3/4 formula and 1/4 milk, see how this goes, if she does okay then a few days later go half formula and half milk, then a few days later 3/4 milk and 1/4 formula. At this time she is usually going to be able to switch to total milk quickly.

As for baby food in a jar, have you tasted it? It's gross. If she needs her food less chunky the use a blender and chop up the food you serve everyone else. I bought a Pampered Chef Food Chopper and chopped the heck out of our dinner food and fed it to the kids until they could chew it up themselves without gagging on the chunks.

Toddlers have tiny little stomachs and need to eat little bits every few hours. They do graze...have lots of nutritious tidbits around all the time. Like fruit gummies, bananas, you can cut up half a banana into 1/4" bits and save the rest for later that day, or eat it yourself...goldfish crackers are bite size, anything you can cut up into 1/4" pieces, apples can be cut up the coated in 7-UP or Sprite to keep them from turning brown, pears, peaches, mandarin oranges, mixed fruit can be purchased in individual size cups at Wal-Mart. Tyson frozed nuggets and chicken fries can be heated up in seconds and are white meat.

My favorite cook books are:

Idiots Guide to Feeding Your Toddler and Baby
Baby and Toddler Meals for Babies

Both should be at your local library, check them out and see if they have information you can use. If so they can be found at most book stores like Hastings or you can always find them on Amazon or ebay.com.

PS: If she is scratching after eating mac and cheese she may be allercic to something else in it. If the allergist said she not allergic to milk then she isn't, did he do a skin test? I was allercig to 74 out of 80 things I got tested for. I had huge swollen spots on my back and then even more onmy arms. Talk to the allergist about possible wheat allergies or even something else.

Is it possible she may be constipated? People don't eat when that happens because they are full....

My daughter is 5 years old now and when I read your message I remembered how bad she was when she was your daughter's age. She has always been picky but between the 18 to 36 months she wouldn't est but milk, jars of green beans, yogurt, beans and only once in a while chicken soup. That was her menu. Her pediatrician always told me not to worry that she was growing ok and that some kids are just extremely picky. I know you as a parent have to worry and wonder how in the world your child is going to grow healthy, but they do somehow. I also tried to "starve" her not giving her any milk which was the only food she wanted some days to see if would eat something later, but it never worked and food started to be an issue for both of us. I had to let her be and then she started to eat a little better once I gave in.
She is still very picky and is not one of those kids who tries new foods at all. Over the past 2 years she has getting better and doing some progress. So my advice is don't worry. Her body tells her what she needs. Let her be.

Hi, Y.! Whatever you do, don't ever force her to eat anything! It'll only make her aversion to food worse. She will then start associating more unpleasant feelings with eating and will avoid food even more. She's likely to be very picky because of her allergies. She has memories of not feeling well due to food, thereby, she's sticking to foods that are "safe". Sounds like you need a referral from your pediatrician to a feeding specialist. With all of those allergies, her feeding habits seem to go beyond just being picky. The one advice that I can leave you with is to expose her to one food item at a time. Very picky eaters may need to be exposed to new foods for 11 to 12 exposures before they will even pick up the food and taste it. She has to get used to and accept its presence, touch it, play with it, smell it...before she will pick it up and taste it. Put no pressure at all on her to eat the new food and praise her when she does taste it. Eat that same food alongside her and eat it, subtley and indirectly showing her that you love eating that food (say "mmmm, good" as if you're commenting to yourself but not her, use facial expressions to show it's yummy). Good luck and don't be afraid to ask for help from a specialist. Usually, insurance covers this sort of thing.

If your Dr is not worried, nor should you. They go through phases. A power struggle over food is never a good idea. Why formula still? Have you tried cereal in the formula? fills the tummy. You can use rice, barley, oatmeal or mixed cereal. Just open the nipple a little more so it flows better. This tip is great for the younger babies. Maybe your daughter is choosing not to eat because something is going on with her mouth or throat (teething). My sister just started adding pureed spinach and broccoli to muffins with flax and her fussy eaters are gobbling them up. When my 28 month old decided to boycott food I stick with unsweetened yogurt (greek style is like pudding) cottage cheese and unsweetened yogurt smoothies blended with frozen strawberries and peach juice. Chicken and tomatoes are also his favorite and chicken soup with pastina or other small shaped pasta...eventually he comes around and starts to eat everything again. This too shall pass....

I am a big believer that they will eat when they are hungry. I watch the biggest Loser and what one of the contestants said scared me. That he forced to eat when he was a child so now he is on this show. I did this to my 7 yr old daughter because she was so small as a baby now she is over weight. (87 lbs.) :( Now my son who is 2 yrs old now I won't force him, he comes to me when he is hungry. He still sits down with us for dinner. He picks but that is fine. He is very healthy. :)