Nap Time Routine

Hi.

My daughter was nursing before nap but then I noticed she really wasn't actually nursing. So, I made sure she had a good lunch and wouldn't be hungry and then nap time.

I have noticed that if I try to push a nap on my daughter before she is ready...then it is a fight to the bitter end! However, if I wait until I know she is sleepy then it goes much better. Also, I try to not engage her in any really stimulating activities before nap. I try to get her to relax a little.... so she is already settling down.

Also, if I know she is tired, and she still is putting up a fight, I will let her cry for a bit. But not super long. I've noticed if I let her go for awhile, and then go in and rock within 5 minutes she is out. She just needs some encouragement to settle herself down. I know the CIO'ers will say that I shouldn't do it... but like your daughter if I didn't... she would cry for 2 hours. And seriously, who is that really benefitting. I don't like to cry myself to sleep, why would my daughter. And I want my daughter to know I am there for her. I am still exerting my authority as a parent by getting her to take a nap that she ultimately doesn't want to take...but at the same time I am teaching her how to calm herself down by keeping still. Our kids are not born knowing how to do these things, we have to teach them these skills. I don't fight with her while rocking, if she won't be still, she goes into her bed until she is ready to settle down and let me help her. But I do eventually help her when she needs it. Sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes 5 minutes of protesting in her crib and she then falls asleep. Sometimes she needs me. My daughter is a very active 16 month old. In her opinion, sleep is an interruption that she would rather not have to endure. ;-) Sometimes she needs me to help her be still and offer her some closeness so she can settle down. Otherwise, she will just scream in her bed. Play for awhile, then scream, then play, then scream and scream and scream even though she is falling down tired.

And honestly, why is it wrong for our children to want closeness with us? That is one thing I've never understood with the CIO method. They are not going to go to college needing our help falling asleep. It's a big world for our little munchkins, lots of big, bright scary stuff.

I think you just need to keep trying things until you find the solution that works for you and your daughter. The biggest thing for us is making sure my daughter IS tired. Sometimes that means I just have to wait 15 minutes to put her down.

Good luck!

This must be very, very frustrating. I don't think it has anything to do with your nursing. In fact, I'd encourage you to nurse her as she needs it whenever that is! My oldest daughter gave up her naps early in that 2nd year and her doctor told me to just let it go. I remember saying to him "but I need it!" Some kids aren't much for naps. sometimes she'd doze off as I was making dinner or in the car at some point - sometimes not. Maybe bedtime will come earlier. I'd just let it go and say "I guess you aren't going to take a nap today. Maybe some quiet time with your reading books or quiet time near you while you do what you need to do - let her lie on the couch etc. That's what I'd do. I don't think she really NEEDS a nap, even though I understand totally your thinking that and wanting that for her. Every kid is different!

Ever think your dd just might not be tired? I know somedays my 21 month old doesn't nap...she might go to bed earlier for me or sleep later the next day.

Forcing your child to cry alone in her crib is unnecessary, and crying for longer than 5 minutes is cruel IMO. Little ones cry for reasons...she's trying to tell you that she needs you, that she's hungry, thirsty, lonely.

Since you're a SAHM with only one why don't you lay down with her if you feel she really needs a nap in the day. When I feel my daughter could really use a nap I nurse her in my bed and either read a book, listen to music (earphones) or nap right along with her. She really enjoys the time spent just being together...and so do I.

Read Babywise. Crying does not last, but healthy babies that get the proper rest they need and calm mothers who get breaks will. Babies need to learn how to fall asleep on their own eventually... do you really want to be dealing with a two-year-old who refuses to nap but really needs to? ;) At bedtime your daughter is worn out from all day and falls asleep easily, but it is not because she was trained to. Naptime is a discipline issue- they have to learn how to take them, or how to lay quiet and rest if they can't. I taught preschool and let me tell you- the kids need the rest. The crying is not because she is hurt, it is a battle of wills. And it will not last.

I'd perhaps do without the nap if she can.. or try doing it later.. or have a quiet time without the nap?

I know that the No Cry Sleep Solution is helpful with this without the crying it out idea.

I honestly don't think it has anything to do with the nursing before the nap, it may be she just doesn't need it or want it.

Hope it gets better... or you find a happy medium. I think it's important to follow your instincts in what your daughter needs..

Right about the age of your daughter, maybe a little before, I cut back the daytime breastfeedings. It was just what worked for us. For one of my children, nap time schedule was changing, and by forcing the same routine that we had always done, I didn't think was helping her grow from her baby routines to toddler routines. That change from not breastfeeding let her explore new ways to calm herself into rest/nap time, and help her to self-soothe. There were, however, days when, just like your daughter, she would not nap, despite our best efforts. I did make her stay in her crib, she did cry it out, and when it was over, it was over. Some days when this happened she did fall asleep, other days she didn't. But she knew she had to stay in her crib, even if she didn't like it. Like the others said, you have to maintain control. I think it just depended on her mood of the day. Now that she is 13, I have to say, she can be a very moody teenager, her temperment runs along the same parallel lines!

Hi,
You are doing a good job parenting your daughter according to her needs. I think you are right in that you need a change in routine and encourage you to spend some time exploring what that might look like. Moms are very good detectives when it comes to their children! There is a reason that it is hard to hear your daughter cry - us moms were wired that way!! Don't disregard your natural parenting intincts. Your daughter is not "out to get you". A childs behavior always communicates something....the hard part is trying to figure out what that is. M.

We have gone through many of the same things you are going through. Try and have a difinative routine for both nap and bedtime. I did cut out the nursing before sleep when my daughter was 17 months old and it made a huge difference. I replaced nursing with singing her a bedtime song, I then would lay her down and leave her room. The big difference is that I would go in every 3 minutes to start and comfort her, I would pick her up and comfort her. Then increased by 1 minutes each day. It only lasted for 2 days. The first day it took 1 1/2 hours to get her to sleep, the nest day took 20 minutes, and the third day she went right to sleep. I have had to make adjustments for teething and sickness, but it has helped her nap and bedtime. I hate cry it out methods, but we tried everything else and had to eventually go to this. I liked this one best because it allowed me to pick her up and comfort her. I hope this helps. Sometimes all you need is alittle adjustment and if you try doing the exact same things you do at bed as at nap it sets her up for the fact she is going to sleep.

Hi S K,

My little one's nap times were hit and miss at that time of her life. I didn't force her nor allow her to cry for long periods. I figure if she isn't tired, why fight it. It was harder for ME because I didn't get my much needed break but things work their way out. Some times I would snuggle with her in our bed, rub her back, face or hair until she drifted off. I'd then put pillows around her and let her sleep there. We still do that sometimes to this day! She's probably getting to the stage where she realizes that there is so much going on that sleeping will cause her to miss out. You're doing a great job, just keep it up.

A