Naps and Fussy Time

Since the bottle works have you tried a binky. Sometimes all they need is something to suck. My daughter isn't a binky baby and it helps her fall asleep everytime.

I always put my son down asleep. He doesn't do well when he's still awake and I try leaving him. Maybe you could try that. And when she gets good naps she should sleep better at night also.

Hi Alison
I am sorry I cant help you. I am having the same problem with my 9 month old. Shes not really fussy, but barely naps..
no free time for me ! frustrating is an understatement. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My first child did the same thing... I didnt see why motherhood was so "wonderful". Of course now I wouldnt change a thing. I just wanted to let you know that things do get better and soon you wont even remember how tough the first few months were !

Hi Alison,

Some babies/young children have a tough time going to sleep if they get overtired. It is possible that by the time you see your baby acting tired, you've waited too long. I'd suggest not waiting til you see the eye rubbing. Set naptimes for maybe 1/2 hour before you normally see those signs and get into that routine. You may find that she is able to fall asleep more easily. Good luck!

It does get easier. My five year old was a colicy baby she cried all the time. the only thing that she wanted was to be held the whole day. It was hard. she was on four different formulas. The last one work great it was alamentium. I had a lot of bad days with her she loved the swing though and being outside. If i put her play pen in the yard she would sleep in it and that was the only way she slept in it. You just have to be paitient and understanding with them.

I may be new at this, and my daughter is only 2 months old, but I've been around the block enough to know that babies (and anyone else for that matter) will sleep when they're tired. And some people sleep more and some people sleep less. It's not always convenient, but then again, what is? She's at an age when everything is so new and exciting, I dont know if I would want to sleep much either! Instead of imposing some sort of structure that's frustrating all parties involved, why not let it ride? She'll sleep when she's tired enough to do so.

It's always so hard to transition a child from a swing to something new. I know how hard it can be with the first child too, take a deep breath and try this. She is probably used to the swing for sleep, she associates one with the other. Now that she doesn't have the swing, she may be a little confused.
Try dimming the lights or shutting them completely, sit with her and rock her or sing to her in a whisper or read to her in a whisper. Let her get a sense of this being quiet time or nap time or down time. Perhaps she is feeling insecure because her schedule no longer includes a swing and this needs to be replaced by something else. Once she is asleep and relaxed, place her gently in her crib and tip toe out. You will have to do this for 2 weeks straight to get her to relax and understand what the new ritual for sleep is. Give it a try. Good luck!

my daughter who is now 3 yrs old went thru a phase like this & was it trying... we bought a triangle wedge pillow and she slept ever so slightly proped up (the piullow was specifically for infants to help with digestion)... you wouldnt believe the difference it made! playing lullabies at every sleep oppertunity also helped. my girlfriend bought one of the fisher price crib projectors that shines a ocean scene on the ceiling and plays wave sounds and that helped her kids...please excuse my grammar and punctuation its been a long day... good luck!

I had this for ahile with my son, the reasont hey wake up is because they can sense you are not there. What I finally had to do was have a friend come over a few days in a row to support me. Then I would do as you are, rock a few minutes, put him down and let him cry. Then my friend would reassure me he was ok and checked on him in 10 minutes, rubbed his head and came back to me. Then I would go in another 10 minutes, rub his head and talk soothingly. Finally her and I just sat in the door of his room. Even though he was crying he was ok and my friend helped support me by reminding me that letting him learn to fall asleep was going to help him and me in the long run. The first day he cried for almost an hour, the second it was 45 min,t he 3rd it was only 10 min, by the end of the week he only cried a few mintues and then fell asleep. He has been an EXCELLENT sleeper since then for naps and nighttime, excpet during and just after he is sick. Getting the support for yourself is key, as is deciding what your goal is. Good Luck!

My daugher never napped in her crib; it was either in her car seat after a ride in the car, in the stroller after a walk or couch which I baricaded so she couldn't roll off. The crib was only for night time. If somethings not working don't force it, if she doesn't want to nap in her crib, let her nap on the couch, floor, swing, whatever works. Naps go away eventually so it doesn't really matter, it's not like you're creating a bad habbit. As long as she knows her crib is for night time sleep and she does ok with that I wouldn't worry too much. It's also normal to not have a break for 10 hours or longer, she's only 6 months old, they still need all your attention when they are that young. Every child is different and the "fussy" time may be different for your daughter. Give up on your night life for now, your daughter needs to be your main priority. Once she's napping and sleeping well and your on a good routine you'll have more time for you and your husband.

HI Alison,

I am a new mom to a 4 month old. I am always asking people questions on this! It's so great to run things by other moms. I have to tell you that my son is the same way. But, I have tries something that is absolutely working!

I let him cry! Yes, I know it is hard for you. It is hard for me, too. But.. he is fed, clean, and tired. Each day it is getting less and less with the crying. My pediatrician is so supportive of this technique. It really will make a difference. Don't go in and rock her and comfort her. SHe is just waiting for you to do that. She is smart! She will learn to fall asleep on her own. If my son is making progress, your daughter will!

As your baby gets older, changing habits gets harder. However, she is only 6.5 months so it really should only take about 3 days. That is what they say 3 days until you change a habit. It could be a hard 3 days, though. you MUST be strong! Think about it this way...you say you have no life, you can spare 3 days to get it back. I think what she is saying when she does all that crying is "hey, this is not where I sleep! I am not used to this!" So, you have to help her get used to it. So, here is what I suggest. Her crib has to be a happy place. So, during play time, go into her room and put her in her crib with some toys and you stay in the room and do stuff. If she cries take her out and try again in a while. But, be reassuring and confident. She'll see if you feel bad for her, and then she'll think it's a bad place. By putting her in during the day, you help her associate feeling safe in there, which will help her during naps and night. Then, you need make sure you've got a really good nap and bedtime routine. It should be relaxing and comforting and take no more than 15 minutes. So, about when she usually goes down, back up 15-20 minutes and then get started with the routine. when you see her getting very sleepy, put her in her crib and continue doing whatever you were doing. For example, my daughter LOVED to be sung to. So, I would keep my singing going after I put her in her crib. I'd keep my hands on her for the warmth and pressure, usually on her stomach because that is where she'd feel the pressure from my body when I was holding her. At first I had to stay there for 15-20, until she was REALLY asleep. But, very soon after that, I put her in her crib and she'd roll over and fall asleep. By the way, I use the Baby Whisperer method. I'd recommend Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. LOL Not exactly, but her methods REALLY helped us. It's all about tuning into her child's communication, so you are able to respond appropriately. It also helps interpret, understand, and gives real suggestions. Best of luck!!

I had napping issues with my oldest daughter when she was about 7 months old. I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it made a huge difference. I found that timing was key to getting her to sleep on her own. Once she was overtired it was impossible to get her settled. Good luck! It does get easier when you can get a break during naptimes!

hi there! i have an 11 1/2 month old and have had some sleep issues. i'm not one who handled control crying but really tried my best with it even if it meant leaving the area, taking a shower or leaving the house all together. My husband was the one who would listen to the crying. i was the one crying with worry... anyway, recently we were over seas for 3 weeks and when we got back my son was crying at night for up to 3 hrs!! we were beside ourselves!!! it was soo stressful and unsettling fro all of us. to make a long story short, we went to a sleep doctor. dr. brian symons and he told us with our sons age we had to stop going into his room and comforting him ( we were going in every 20 to 30 minutes and giving him water and changing him ) and said we need to put him down and not return til the monrning!! well, we did it!! Dr symons has a book, guide to sleeping. I would suggest checking him out on the web.
i;m a first time month expecting our second child, living in Australia (originally from nyc) no support and think my son is the best thing in the world :)
I realize your baby is younger but i think you need to try for at least 3-5 days letting her cry herself to sleep. yes, easier said than to do. it's been great having some sanity at night and now knowing by 7pm i'm off duty. good luck, M.

Wow-identical to my 8 month old. I read a book called the "Sleep Easy Solution" and it worked wonders!! It's broke down into different age categories. Check it out from your library. 5 days later and my son is taking 2 naps in his crib for 1-1 1/2 hours each and bed for 11-12 hours. Check it out. K.

Hi Alison,

My 3 and 1/2 month old needed to be rocked to sleep every night. Until my brother in law babysat for him a few weeks ago. He didn't know we rocked little Anthony to sleep because we forgot to tell him.

After our outing, he told us that the baby cried for almost a half hour then fell asleep. We weren't to thrilled about that, but my brother in law has 3 kids, so he knows what he's doing.

Ever since that night, we don't rock Anthony to sleep anymore. He gets his bottle, and we put him in the crib. He cries about 5-10 minutes and then goes to sleep.

I would suggest that when you put her down in the crib, let her cry for about 10 minutes, and if she doesn't stop, go in the room but don't take her out of the crib. Try to soothe her by rubbing her back, or giving her a pacifier, or try some cd with white noise. Then leave the room again, and let her cry some more. Then, go back in 10-15 minutes and try to soothe again. If she cries for over an hour, I would probably then pick her up and try soothing her that way. You just don't want to keep taking her out of the crib if you can help it. I hope that helps you.

This is such a tough time for you! I got myself into the same situation with my daughter and her swing. I will always remember my mother telling me I needed to harden my heart a little, and let her cry. I decided that I would put her down sleepy, but awake, tuck her in, then leave her in her room for an hour. I just needed that time! She really took to that very well, no tip-toeing either. Once in a while she would take 45 minutes to settle herself down, but I always allowed one 'tuck in', and would never let her cry enough to work herself into inconsolable. Nightimes now follow the same pattern. After she spent the first 7 months in our room for nursing convienence, my Dr said she had no need at that age to nurse at night, and his advice was to say goodnight at bedtime, and not go back til morning. Unbelievably ( to me at the time) this worked, and apart from gas, and occasionally feeling a little under the weather or teething, she is a 6.30pm to 7 am sleeper.....makes for happier baby, and Mom. Good luck, and hang in there.

She screams because she knows you'll eventually give in and rock her. You have to set healthy sleep habits for her, it's one of your responsibilities as a mom. It won't be easy, but it will help her and you for years to come. I strongly suggest reading Dr. Ferber's book, and you'd have to do this sooner than later if you choose to follow his methods. I strongly believe many babies have sleeping issues because the parents let them define the habits instead of setting the limits. I used dr. Ferber's method at 4.5 months, and it took all but 3 days and my son is now 27 months and has loved his crib ever since. Before 4.5 months my son slept only in the swing at nap and night time. I was terrified to put him in the crib. I think you have to make a decision and stick to it, and in 3 to 7 days it will work. The longer you wait the harder it will be. the older the child, the harder to break the bad habits. I know how you feel, I also went through all of this at first. Good luck

Alison,

I know what you are going through. My crib never got used until the 3rd baby, so I definitely went through my share of crazy sleep situations. The first one only slept in the bouncy chair or the car seat, then he transitioned to a toddler bed. The second one slept in my arms in a chair for a year, and then in bed with us until finally transitioning to a toddler bed at age 2. The third one slept in the pack and play for about 6 months before nicely transitioning to the crib. And my fourth one was pretty much the same as the third.

All that to say that I know that it is not easy. I would definitely suggest that you buy a fisher price infant to toddler rocker. It is a great little rocking chair that has straps and can be reclined like a bouncy seat, but then can easily be used as a rocking chair for up to 30 pounds. My girls both loved to nap in it. Your baby likes to be upright, so this would be a great option.

D.

I would let her simply cry. Eventually, she will fall asleep. You will have a hard 3 days and that's it. Rocking a baby to sleep is a poor idea. A child needs to develop the skills to fall asleep on their own. You should get into a nap routine/schedule where the naps are predictable for your child. Good luck!

It sounds like your daughter may be overtired.

I would recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weisbluth. While I have found that my child never sleeps exactly like the children in the book (not sure if these children exist!), it has a lot of good pointers and different approaches to fit your parenting styles. It has soothing methods, sleep training methods, etc.

Our little one is 3.5 months. He sleeps well at night, however, it often takes us 2 hours to get him to sleep. He has a lot of issues taking naps. I have to agree that some babies sleep more than others. I think our little guy is very alert and often just wants to be awake. We are working on putting him down when he seems sleepy and trying not to pick him as much so that he doesn't associate sleep with constantly being rocked.

Before you know it your little one will be grown up and you'll forget this time. It'll get better soon..hang in there.

i just read in the no-cry sleep solution that we should try to put them down for a nap after they've been awake for two hours. eventually they'll cue in for naps (and sleep better at night). while i know it's frustrating, keep trying (and try to be consistent). remember: this too shall pass. just as things changed at 6 mos., they'll change again. hang in there!

Hi Alison,

I'm posting this public as well without my email.

My situation is very similar to yours except that my son is just about 4 months, so we actually are starting this process now. But, it's almost exactly the same. My son doesn't nap well. We did start to put him in the crib for bed, instead of nursing through the night and sleeping with me. He should not be put down asleep or fall asleep while nursing/feeding. Then he gets sleep associations with needing that just in order to fall asleep. This will get me NO time to myself without baby dependent on me 24/7....

At any rate, my son will only nap for very short periods of time- like 15-30 minutes, unless he's in the stroller outside on a walk and then it has been up to 1 hour etc... He falls asleep if he's in the Ergo carrier on me. But, that's after bouncing and/or in the bouncy/vibrating chair and if you rock it with your foot. We are trying to get him to fall asleep on his own in the crib for naps- we tackled it pretty well for bedtime. I scoffed at one of the sleep specialists before I read him and then a friend recommended I read him and voila we had a night pattern established- after a LOT a LOT of work for a few weeks. Dr. Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems book is very useful and he is NOT cruel as others say- I don't think anyone who reads his chapter on Progressive Waiting could think that he's cruel. He's disciplined and for reason. To get your child to fall asleep on his own.... Well, he has nap chapters in there. I didn't think I'd like him and well, don't judge a book by it's cover I guess. It worked for us! I need to now work on the nap chapters. I don't get a break during the day for 10 hours either. I'm exhausted and need this guy to nap... I'm working on it now. That's my suggestion for now...

Here's the link on demystifying Ferber's method:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

that's a good link to read about him.

Good luck! let me know if you discover a good method!

C.

Hi. I also had trouble with my daughter napping. Did you try putting her to sleep in a sleep sack so she feels cozy? We have this great toy on the side of her crib that she loves to turn on and watch/listen to the music. We find that it often helps her fall asleep as I guess she finds it entertaining/calming. http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2011&e=detail&...

When you say she cries for 5-10 minutes or cries in general, are you walking in to check on her? I found that I went through what it sounds like you're going through when I would walk in periodically to see what she was doing/if she was sleeping. She seems to do much better when I put her in, give her a kiss and close the door. It's hard for me to not go back in to check on her but she seems to be able to put herself to sleep much more efficiently that way-so she's not waiting to see if Mommy is going to come back to play. I also find it hard to listen to her cry, but the first time we did it, she cried for 15 minutes so maybe your daughter just needs a few more minutes to cry and will then go to sleep?

Good luck!

What about taking her for a walk and then leaving her in her stroller napping once she's fallen asleep?

Honestly you're going to have to rough it out the best way you can. Children are very capable of getting what they want even at an early age. Try other forms of stimulation that may be useful. I had purchased a stuff bunny that had the sound of a beating heart (to simulate the sounds of your heart when the baby was in the womb) and it worked perfectly for a while when my daughter was a baby. You can even adjust the volume tohow load or low you want it and it works with double A batteries. Usually you can find these types of toys at any toy store but try Babies R Us first, they should have them.

The sound of the heart beat is very soothing and it might do the trick. Also try tapes and/or CD's with classical music, earth sounds (running water, the ocean etc) or lullabyes, they can do the trick also. They say most babies likes the sound of white noise, a vaccum running, fan, etc., and it's soothing for them too. However look for that stuffed animal first cause it worked for me for a few months when my daughter was a baby.

Also stay consistent with nap time! Even if she doesn't fall asleep keep things quiet for that time, eventually she will get it. Plus not all children are nappers, that's just a plain reality you would have to accept one day, lol.

Let me know how it works out.

Alison-
I have 2 wonderful boys!! My first son had a ton of issues with sleeping. I too, never wanted to hear him cry, so I made the mistake of doing a lot of the things that you described above. The problem with the rocking and holding...and pacifying them when they cry is that you are creating a clutch...and they are never really learning to fall asleep on their own. I read soooo many books about how to get your child to fall asleep without crying (No Cry Sleep Solution...)but had a lot of difficulty implementing things.
It got to the point that he was 17 months old and FINALLY sleeping through the night without waking up.
My second son was born in May, and i was nervous because I wanted to do everything right this time around. We made a few mistakes off the bat. Pacifiers!!! My worst nightmare. He would fall asleep as soon as you put him in his crib and pooped it in his mouth...but then every time it fell out he woke up screaming. When he was about the same age as your little one, I was waking up every hour and was more sleep deprived than I'd ever been. I never thought I'd do this, but I tried the "Cry it out method."
First, I took away the pacifier. He needed to learn to fall asleep on his own. That was our biggest problem. Then, for naps, I began putting him down AWAKE, but groggy and just let him cry. I gave myself a max. of 20-25 minutes I'd let him cry before going in there. It never got to this point. He'd cry for about15 minutes and then fall asleep. Within a few days we tried it at night, too. If he woke up during the night, I did not go in there to pick him up. It literally took 2 nights where he woke up once or twice and then before I knew it he was sleeping through. We have such great naps and he sleeps 10-11 hours a night at 11 months old.
I think hearing your child cry is heart wrenching...but my best advice to you is tackle it while they are young!!! IT gets SOOOO much harder when they are older. Plus, it becomes very tiresome for you. A few tears will not hurt...I promise. I wish I had listened to that when people told me that countless times with my first son!!

I had my first after 8 years of marriage and I believe it's tougher when you've gotten used to your freedom or if you're now a SAHM and used to be a career woman. First, as tough as it may seem right now it won't last forever [I know it seems like it will right down but my first is turning 7 next month and my second is 2.5 and I had PPD with the first]. EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT so toss out any book that says 'fussy time ends at 6 months'. She's communicating to you a need. Besides being a mom, I'm a childbirth educator so I know a bit about how babies learn, communicate, etc. Be compassionate to yourself first so you'll be available for your baby. The Baby Whispher's EASY schedule may help you formulate and understand her need for structure so she can rely on you. Also, "What Babies Want' narrated by Noah Wylie is an excellent DVD to pick up to again understand better about your baby. BTW, what was her birth like? Is she looking for comfort / bonding she didn't get immediately?