Need Advice on Birthday Party Event Ettiquette

Updated on June 18, 2008
J.T. asks from Cedar Park, TX
6 answers

Hello All!
This is my first request for advice on here. My son's 3rd birthday party is next month and we've had the theme for the party sort of just fall into place w/o us having to do much thinking about it. I believe the Lord realizes just how tight a budget we have right now since my husband and I just got married earlier this month and we paid for everything in cash (no debt--yeah!). At any rate, back to the theme falling into place on a shoe-string budget. For example, my son wanted a bike and a t-ball set. Well, a friend of ours child outgrew his bike and it's in great condition and she just gave it to us a week or two ago so that leaves only the t-ball set to buy. Secondly, there is a great animated FREE baseball movie playing at a nearby movie theater during the week before my son's birthday so we were going to take him and a few of his friends to see that. Third, we just happen to have 4 tix to the RR Express baseball game the very day of his birthday and so we were going to take him (he loves baseball).
Okay....so here's where I need advice. We can't afford the baseball field's fee to host his birthday party there (they would provide cake and a chance for him to run on the field and tix, etc.). We can't even bring a cake into the ballpark. So that leaves us with having the cake/ice cream at our house and then heading to the game. We can pay for all the kids' tickets to the ballgame; however, we can't afford to pay for all the parents' tickets too plus food and drink at the ballpark (prices there are outrageous!). How do we handle this on the invitations? Do we pay for all or nothing? What is the ettiquette for paying for each family or just their children? I just don't want to go against ettiquette here.

TFR,
Jen

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who responded with advice. Kudos to the gal who suggested invitations be made to look like game tickets. I'll definitely make attempts at that and hope it works out!
I think we'll just ensure that the invitations are clear on all the details. Thanks again for all your help!
-Jen

More Answers

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

If you invited my child to go, I would neither send my kid without any money to pay for his own food nor would I send him at all if the adult-to-child ratio were too few adults to too many kids. I'd insist on going and helping you out and I wouldn't think twice about paying my own way. In fact, I'd probably offer to help out with the kids' tickets. I'd like to believe your child's friends' parents would react like I would.

I also like the idea someone else suggested of creating an "admit one" invitation. If you know the other parents, just shoot them an email saying "Hey, we'd like to invite you all to come with us to the baseball game. As a birthday treat to himself, (your son's name) wants to treat your kid to his way into the game."

Good luck, and birthday hugs to your little one!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.W.

answers from Austin on

It sounds like your son is going to have a GREAT birthday! As a fellow parent, I wouldn't dream of expecting another parent to pay for my ticket. I think (at least in my opinion) it's understood that the party is for the child and the parents are to pay for their own expenses. If you feel you should mention something on the invitation, then maybe keep it light-hearted. If you haven't already gotten the invitation, you could create your own baseball ticket with the boy's name on it with "admit one" somewhere on it. That way there is no mistake on who you are paying for.

Keep us posted!
A. W.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Austin on

When the invitiation is addressed to the child(ren) only, it should be assumed that everyone else who may want to join would have to pay their own way. You could also add a note on the invite on the cost per person who might want to join the celebration. You couls write something like " parents or siblings, you are welcome to join us, the cost per each extra person will be $$$".

M. S
Pflugerville, Texas

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

I think I would invite only one or two families to join you, but before you send an invitation, talk to the moms. I think most people would be understanding about your budget constraints. Do you think you could handle just taking a couple kids with you and not the parents? Honestly, I took my 3 year old to a game there and she just wanted to play on the playground. Kids this age just like to play. Maybe just have the cake/ice cream and play with your son's new tee ball set and come up with ball games you can play with the other kids in the backyard. I'm sure your son will have fun no matter what you decide. Anyways, if you're going to invite other families to go to a ball game with you, I don't think they would expect you to pay for everything, but again, I would probably call and talk to them beforehand. Have fun!

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V.G.

answers from Austin on

Most three year olds would have a hard time sitting through an entire game. A party at home with friends, and food, and a back yard game of their own might be easier for everyone. I would suggest using a splash ball for the ball in this heat, keep a bucket at the pitcher's mound for keeping it splashy. Make the ballgame a family event, or just the closest friend.

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B.K.

answers from Austin on

You do not pay for parents and they will not expect you to. My husband and I took my 8 year old son on Monday night to RR Express game. Get Berm seating its cheaper and the you can take a blanket and sit on the hill behind the out field. We had good seats but did eventually go to the hill and my son had an outfield player throw him the ball he just caught. He also rolled down the hill with the other kids. On Mondays they have 1 dollar hotdogs and sodas it was a great deal. Thats a way to save money by going on Monday night. We had a great time. Don't worry about parents they are not expecting you to pay for them. Have a great summer. B. K

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