Need Advice on How to Help My Son Cope with His Cousin Moving.

Maybe a webcam so they can see each other when they talk would help your son.

My children ages 6 and 9, just went thru a similar situation . We moved from Michigan to Georgia and the kids went from being able to see each other every weekend to once every three months. We still keep in contact thru shipping small packages and envelopes (kids love getting mail) and purchased a "webcam" to able them to see each other when they want to talk .It just made the move easier and kept the kids relationship still close. Good Luck!

R.,
This may sound silly and you may have already done this, but try just letting him experience his feelings. Let him know that it is sad that his cousin in leaving. Hold him and let him cry about it. Let him tell you how he feels. Then maybe talk to him about how his cousin might be feeling. Then you could maybe help him make his cousin a card or a little care package for the trip. Maybe he can make him a little something to help his cousin remember him. Maybe even take a special picture of the two of them to put in your son's room.
I think the most important piece is to let him experience his feelings, letting him know that you feel sad too and that it will feel sad for awhile and then once he gets used to it, it will feel better. You can plan a trip to see his cousin at some point. I hope this is helpful!

Let him go through his grief process without you telling him he is wrong. For him, it is NOT fair. Now is the time for you to do a lot of listening - active listening. Tell him 'I understand you are very upset about your cousin leaving. It's ok to be sad.'

Later talk to him about his new school and how he will be making new friend that will be in his class potentially for years.

Hope this helps.

We have been military for 10 years now so my children have grown used to leaving friends and family, but throughout the years I have found these things to help them feel a better connection to their loved ones that they are missing. Becoming penpals with them....you can help him write letters if he is not capable of doing so by himself. And let him put a care package together for his cousin. Some small gifts that they had similar interests in (i.e baseball cards, certain kind of snacks, matchbox cars) What kid does not LOVE to receive mail. Plus I am sure your son would receive a package in return and it would only make their bond that much stronger. Allow weekly phonecalls, and the webcam idea is also a great one! I do not have any book recommendations, but I am sure there are some out there, good luck!

These things are so hard for everyone especially children. I do not know of any books to suggest to you, but we have found one thing that has helped my children stay connected to our family who all live in another state. We got webcams for our computers and use the skype program. It is free! My daughters can sit at our computer and turn on the program and webcam and talk with their grandparents or cousins who are on their computers doing the same thing. It is good for them to see their faces and hear their voices and my oldest seems to like it more than the telephone. It is also good to have planned visits so you always have that to look forward to.

Maybe getting him involved with other kids his own age, even if his cousin was not moving the age difference would soon kick in and they would grow a little apart.
I have a 5 year old son who loves making friends, would you like to set a playdate?
Kids are very resiliant and I am sure your son will bounce back soon, he just needs time to digest the idea.

It's so hard to see your child grieving, and it's natural to want to "fix it" for him, but I think it's very important that you not try to tell him he shouldn't be sad. He should be sad - the sadness is the natural evidence of his love for his cousin. You can help him learn new ways to communicate and show that love (and lots of good ideas have been posted here), but it won't be the same, and it's honest of you to admit that to him. Sometimes in life, we just have to be sad, and I don't think we can protect our children from that completely, nor should we always be saying it's ok, when it's not ok. It's better for him to learn how to be sad, to grieve, and then to move forward doing the best he can in the new situation. You can be a tremendous teacher for him right now in the lessons of life. It's hard, but it's what being a mom is all about. I'll say a prayer for you.

Hi R.,
We are in the same boat but the other way around. We moved. My son was very close with his two cousins, one of which was his age only a few months apart and the other one 3 years older.
There isnt more you can do than what you are already doing. We tried to keep it a happy thing only saying positive things when he was sad but letting him know its okay to be sad. When we first moved the kids used to send eachother letters, now, not so much. They call eachother once a week and we try to get down there when we can and they try to do the same.
I would possibly talk to your nephew about it and ask him if he wouldnt mind writing him a few letters and calling him a few times a week until he gets adjusted. ITs been a year and a half and the pain is not so fresh anymore as he has new friends and so much to do here but he still has moments of being sad about them. We just keep communicating about it and letting him talk and then we will usually make a trip shortly there after to go see them. We are about to go next weekend actually.
Goodluck

R.,

I feel so bad for your little guy...my daughter has no cousins locally, but if her BFF was to move, she would be devastated too! Try getting set up with Skype (www.skype.com) and let your little guy help get it set up (buy the webcam, sign up on line, etc.). My sister-in-law (SIL) just moved from CA to HI and no longer has my mother-in-law (MIL) close by. So, the other night, my SIL called up on my MILs computer while we were over for dinner. It is awesome!!!! The cousins all got to see each other (6 yrs, 2 1/2 yrs, and 18 months) and talk to one another. This might help even more than just writing or sending care packages (even though those are great ideas too!) because they actually get to see each other, show off new toys, and talk like they are in the same room! Hope this helps! D. H.

R.,
Iknow this tugs at your heart and it hurts to see him go through this,but I believe in time he will get much better.As you assure him that he has not lost him but that he can still see him and communicate with him. It's just the adjustment period that is hard for children because they have a hard time seeing ahead.This will be a life experience that he will learn from and become even stronger as he comes through this.Maybe you could do something extra special for him and maybe spend some extra time with him and let him know you are there to support him through this hard time.You know, these are part of growing pains and life can hurt us but the good news is that If we trust "God" he will give us the strength we need to go on.My children have had to move and lose close friendships several times and it was sooo hard sometimes, but in time they bounced back stronger than before.Just continue to love and support him and he will bounce back too.I'll say a prayer for him as well. May God bless your family. Sincerely S.

We are military and move every 2 years. Since my boy joined Cub Scouts I found they have a wonderful book "Cub Scouting's BSA Family Activity Book" that has a section in it that deals with moving and other topics.

It gives you ideas for books, activities, and talking points that are all age appropriate. It can be purchased by anyone (you don't have to be a member of the Scouts) at any local Boy Scout store for $4.99 plus tax. There are official Boy Scout Stores in most communities, ask any parent of a scout and they will tell you where it is. Or go on line to order it at

http://www.scoutstuff.org/BSASupply/ItemDetail.aspx?cat=0...

Good Luck.

I didn't read to see if someone said this yet or not, but why don't you have your son put together a going away package for his cousin? It will give them both something to look foward too out of the whole ordeal. It could be fun thing to do on the trip out, some of their favorite snack, cards or pictures he's made for him or anything for after he gets to the house. Anything really! And maybe he could give his cousin a disposable camera and ask him to take pictures of his trip to the new home. Then he could mail the pictures back. I'm sure he'd love waiting to see what his exciting trip was like.

I don't know if either of you have skype, but you could set that up for the boys to talk on and show eachother things that are new. If you don't know what it is, check it out. It's free web chatting... all you need is a web cam w/mic for each computer. After that, it doesn't cost a penny. We use this to talk to our kids when we travel, and to talk to family.. since we don't have any that live close by.

Hope this helps, we just went through this with our daughter and her close friend. Even if your son doesn't want to put together the "care" package... keep pushing foward with it and sooner or later he'll be working on it without even realizng it!