Need Advice on Leaving for College

Of course it is a good idea for your daughter to go off to college! She is an adult now and every parent wants their child to grow up and get an education! It sounds like your hubby isn't ready to let go of his little girl yet--which is understandable--but this is the time that you just pray you did everything right and taught her how to live a good life with values! Good Luck to all of you!

S.,

Let me say from personal experience I would highly encourage this move! When I graduated from high school, I went to college in Springfield, Missouri. It was 12 hours from home. This was the best experience of my life! I only got to come home 2 times in the fall and 1 time in the spring. It helps you grow up fast! My parents would always send me care packages so it helped from getting too home sick. Now, it might be a different story when my 2 girls want to move 12 hours away to go to college, but I will have to be reminded what a great experience it was for me. Hope this helps!

Hi S.,
As a mother with a daughter in college and someone who works at a community college, I would definitely send my child to a community college for at least the first year. In fact, if she goes to a community college for 2 years, she can get a transfer scholarship to a 4 yr university. The undergraduate classes are the same as at the 4 yr university, but with smaller classes.
Hopes this helps!

As a college professor and a mother of one college student across the state and another who is starting to make college decisions, I say YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!

College students gain nearly as much valuable experience by living on their own as they do in the classroom. Most of them mature to higher levels during their four years than I've seen in students who lived at home during college (whether it's a community college or a four year university).

Here is what your daughter will gain by living on campus:
--camaraderie with other students beyond anything that's possible when living off campus (probably some life-long friendships)
--many opportunities for campus involvement that are easier when one lives on campus, rather than commuting back for meetings
--learning the responsibility of taking care of herself
--There will be a safety net with the dorm staff and campus departments set up specifically to handle students' needs, but she'll be able to learn how to find her own solutions by taking the initiative to use these resources, rather than being directed by her parents.
--She will experience the pride of taking care of herself.
--spontaneous fun for students who live together in dorms
--Distance makes it easier for parents to resist the temptation to manage aspects of the students' daily habits and responsibilities that should be the students' own responsibility.

If she doesn't go to college out of town, at least have her live on campus, if you can afford it.

I think you just have to talk about it with your husband, and not really try to "convince" him. Be open to his ideas and then sit down together and write a Pros and Cons list. Let your daughter have some input, too. Good luck! My youngest is 19, and all 3 of mine went to Lubbock to TTU, which is only 3 hrs. from here, so it was great as we could see them fairly frequently.

Also, I wanted to tell you what I did for my son for his high school graduation: presented him with a scrapbook album of his whole life. I started about March before he graduated. He had tears and it was the best gift I EVER gave anyone. He looked at each page, what I had written to him next to his photos, and he kept sayind, "Thank you, Mom," Thank you, Mom." So I encourage you, if your photos are disorganized or if they are organized but not in a scrapbook album where you have journalled your love for your daughter, to consider giving this to her for her HS graduation. I can give you hints on "how" to do it easily .... I'm not a creative person.... if you would like. God bless, M. in Wichita Falls www.mycmsite.com/marycluley

LOL. My husband went to Michigan State, and I went to Texas A&M. Guess what - he thinks our kids should go to school out of state and I would prefer in state (of course this is a looooong way off for us). I guess a lot of it is based on your own experiences. Honestly, look at what she wants to do and pick the very best school for that and her personality. She is an adult now and if the best fit for her is a long way off, support her in that. Just be sure she will be somewhere that really fits her and that she will feel comfortable. Look at things such as school size, city size, conservative vs liberal campuses, etc. I was about a 2 hours drive from home, and for me that was perfect. I could go home when I needed to, but wasn't close enough to rely on mom and dad anymore!

I think it depends on your daughter's personality. is she a home-body or independant? how far is she wanting to go? I did my undergrad about 1 & 1/2 hrs from home, but I went to grad school about 1,000 miles away from home, but my grandparents and cousins were an hour away. There's quite a difference. Will there be any family members in the town she's wanting to go to? Just some things to think about. Also, expenses make a big difference. What is financially comfortable for your family for her to do?

S.--I think it's great for kids to go away to college especially if their parents can afford it. I know it's scary to send a child off without you but she is an adult and the experience of living away from mom and dad will be awesome. There's something about doing your own laundry, cooking your own food, managing your own money/ school& work schedules, etc. I think all people need the experience of having to depend on self and not have family to bail them out all of the time. It really teaches independence completely. Tell your husband that this is the perfect time for your daughter to show you all of the wonderful life lessons she's learned from her wonderful parents. Isn't that what parenting is all about anyway--to prepare our kids to care for themselves when we're not around?