My husband and I moved to the area in August, a last-minute move, so we were forced to rent a house until we would have enough time to decide where exactly we'd like to buy. Our lease is soon coming to a close and we are struggling with our decision of where to move. We feel like our kids are grounded where we're at, now. Two of them are school-aged and have made lots of friends through school. They are all on athletic teams and are making friends through that. I have made many friends here and have a personal "network" of sorts set up. So, I guess the social aspect of buying in this same area is ideal. However, we are in love with a different area--just love the feel and organization of the neighborhoods much more, and feel like the school system is better and will remain better long-term. We also feel like if we buy a house in this other area, our house would appreciate in value, which we don't feel will necessarily happen here. So, we're torn. Our oldest child, 8yrs, does not want to move "again" and seems very adamant about it, but the rest of the kids seem open to it. I would love any suggestions or input. Maybe someone has been through something similar?
***Just wanted to add a quick note to what I previously wrote. From comments so far, I must have made it sound like my son is making a fuss about moving. He's not. He's a good kid. However, he really (emphasis on really) does not want to have to switch schools and start all over again. He's in 3rd grade and has already switched schools 3 times because of moves. He's very social and he does make friends easily, but we definitely feel some level of guilt uprooting him again. He's been so good about the previous moves and is an easy-going kid. The fact that he's actually voicing a strong opinion about not moving is a huge thing and something we feel we should take into consideration--not because we are willing to let our 8-yr-old run the show, but more because we appreciate how patient and easy he has been about all of our other moves. If we have the opportunity and ability to stay where we are and allow him the chance to feel grounded for more than a year at a time, is this something we should do?
Friendships and networking come and go. Do what is best for the family going forward. If you had all highschoolers, I would advise staying put. Otherwise, discuss, plan and move forward! You will make the right decision!
S.,
I would consider the longterm pros and cons and not the present ones. You don't want to pay for it later. Are the two areas so far apart that relationships are hard to keep? Sometimes it just takes alittle more effert to keep the relationships that are improtant. As for your 8 year old, that age is like that. He sounds just like my 8 year old son. We are actualy going to be going through this same thing this summer. I don't look forward to it. Let me know how it turns out.CS
I can only speak from experience.
When we moved here we moved quickly (our long term assignment in FL was short) and we actually had three weeks to pack/move. We rented a house site unseen. The neighborhood was NOT what I would have chosen if I had put time into LOOKING. It was mostly rentals and all the negatives that sort of neighborhood brings.
Our so is much younger.... but the truth is a better neighborhood will bring better/more appropriate friends for you and your children.
you can send me a message and I'll tell you where we lived and where we bought. Of course, we aren't from here. It is casual and different from the North East... so I judged it harshly in the beginning. I felt like I'd dropped into a bad movie.. into the middle of nowhere.
But I also moved a lot as a child (dad Navy). I am a very confident and outgoing person because of it. Besides he can still visit friends...
It's better now.
E.
I say do what's best for your whole family in the long run...we have a 71/2 year old and will be going through this same thing in June and we have been telling her that no matter where we are or where we go, we are family and that's what matters most because we have each other. I know that we definitely would not/could not let our 7 yr. old run the show. If they have made friends this easily this go round then surely they can do it one more/last time. Wishing you the best.
Remember that the feeling of being connected to people will outweigh the local look and feel of your surroundings (unless it's a dangerous area). If however, your the kind of family that make friends quickly and the area is somewhere you plan on staying 5 or more years, then go for it. We left the Houston Rat Race 6 years ago to move to the Lake area and it's taken this long to feel like home. Also, look at your lifestyle. We moved so far out that I ended up spending hours driving to every activity,event,shopping etc. With 4 kids I'd tend to lean toward the safest and best school district. Wherever you end up, you will have the life you make it. It's not a do or die decision, the quicker made the better. Good luck, you'll be fine wherever you end up I'm sure.
Hi we just moved up her last June and did the same thing rented and then bought a house in a area of town we wanted to raise the kids in. My son has started in a new school for 3 years now. He is 9 and sweet about it but expressed he didnt want to move last year either. Overall we knew long term that the neighborhood and school district was better for him. What I did was involve him in the move he helped us pick the house out and then we visited the new school several times and played on the play ground. Then I found a church near by and he met kids that attended his new school. It made the move a little smoother. It was hard but He is old enough to understand that life changes and we have to be flexable. There is always a chance we will have to move again. We try and focus and our great memories and how we have friends all over. Try not to feel guilty your doing what is best for him long term...Good Luck!
I am a wife, mother and grandmother and have lived in the DFW Metroplex all my life. Usually where the children are doing well, it is better to stay where you are. But that is really for older kids. I think if you felt like you should move, yours are young enough that they would probably be fine. It sounds like your family is pretty social and would do well just about anywhere. Just make sure you are not putting a house before your family. I don't know where you are living now, or where you would like to move, so it is difficult to advise about areas. I am a RE/MAX Realtor and would be happy to help you with information on areas and neighborhoods.
M. Young
I have a great friend who is a real estate agent...Feel free to give him a call:
###-###-####
Good luck!!
T.
Kids adapt quick - they are more resilient that you think and moreso than adults. If you're going to let 8 yr old make the decision for the entire family, then stay where you are. But if you and your husband are going to be the adults and the parents, then you must do what is right for the family. It sounds like moving, is the best long term investment. I say move.
It's not like your 8 yr old is going to have long term issues from it and if he exhibits pouting or control tactics, be a parent and discipline accordingly. You're the parent! :)
Happy moving!
Hi S.,
My family and I have done quite a bit of relocating in the last 8 years. With five kids it hasn't been easy. My suggestion is to find a community that you will be happy with in the long term. Your oldest being 8 yrs old is still young enough that she will adjust quickly. We recently moved to Frisco from KCMO. It has been a month now and my 12 yr old is still trying to come up with ways for us to move back. I have two teenagers that were miserable about leaving their friends, as well. My 7 yr old has already made friends and is settling in great. What I guess I am trying to say is, if a move somewhere down the line seems eminent than you might as well make it now while they are still young enough to adjust. Because it will only get more difficult for them as time goes on.
One more thing. We moved from Phoenix to KC in Oct of '05. By December my husband sustained an injury that would bring us to the thought of moving again. So we tried for two years while he commuted back and forth so that the kids would be able to enjoy a little stability. In hindsight I now see that it would have been much easier on them if we had just moved when we were first faced with the situation. It only made it harder on them to leave.
