Need Advice on Starting Time-out

The naughty chair! Just put it anywhere and tell him to sit there. You can get special chairs. Some of them even say Naughty Chair on it.

Hi S.. You are right! You should not associate his bedroom with punishment. Time out can occur anywhere in the house away from toys, tv, etc. Get a small rug or chair (they make "time out" chairs, but anything will work). Or just call one corner in the room the "naughty corner" (thanks Super Nanny). Pick one spot and stick with it. If your son hits the wall, you may think about putting him in the middle of a hallway or something. HTH. A.

We always do "time out" in the corner of the dining room. There is nothing there to do but sit in the chair and look at the wall (not real exciting). Another thing that has been very helpful (hint given to us by the play therapist that we take our son to) is having one of those (I can't think of the name) twirly things. It is on a stick and the child can blow on it and it will spin. When our son is angry or frustrated, having him blow on this calms him down, controls breathing, plus kids like making the thing spin (I hope you can figure out what I am talking about since I can't think of the name). A stress ball to squeeze is yet another outlet.

I'm a big fan of Nanny 911. She says to have a "naughty" chair or stool or whatever and explain to them why they have to sit there. If they keep getting up, place them back in it and make them stay for one minute for each year they are. (Exp: if they are 1 year old, only stay for one min if 2 years old...2 min) My child is only 9 months so I haven't tested this for myself...but that technique always sits in my mind and I will give it a try when it's appropriate. Hope you find a technique that works for your family!

Hi S.,
When my daughter used to throw herself on the floor for her tantrums I used to pick her up and move her to an away corner, which only made it worse. Then I just leave her right where she did her tantrum. couple of times I had to actually step over her to get to the kitchen and I ignored it completly. about 5 tantrums later she finally stopped. I say where ever your son is throwing his tantrum, just leave him to do it. It will stop.
hope that helps..
T.

My son started head banging at about 11 months. Our doctor said that there are head bangers and breath holders--both will get better with time. Now our son is almost 3 and I've not seen much head banging this winter. He certainly did keep it up for almost 2 years, though. There were only a few times he injured himself enough to make a red or bruised spot. We would just tell him that banging his head looked like a really silly thing to do. We also would not coddle him when he cried after doing it.

As for time out, we designated a kitchen chair downstairs and I do actually have a chair in his room for T/O, too (for the sake of not having to go downstairs). You could also put a chair in the hallway if you were looking for a more neutral location. The first several times are very trying...for the parent. As my son would get up, I would repeatedly pick him up and place him back in the chair, telling him each time that he is in time out and he is to stay in the chair. It may seem like it will never happen, but eventually, they get it. Now we are able to designated time out locations wherever we go (if we need them, anyway). Even the bench at the park has been a T/O locale before! Rule of thumb is to give one minute of time out per year of age, so our son now has about 3 minutes. Good luck!

they say do time out in a central place in the house where you guys are a lot, like a chair in the living room, or a corner. also 1 minute per year old is what they recommend. good luck

In my experience, time out doesn't work until the child is about two and a half years old. If you want to try it, you've already gotten all the recommendations for time out from the "experts". Before that point, I have found that the most effective way to eliminate temper tantrums is to ignore the tantrum. What the child typically wants is attention, and since they don't know the difference between good and bad attention at that age, ignoring the behavior is the best strategy, as they're not being reinforced with the attention that they're seeking.

I have an 18 month old and have been dealing with the same issue. We started off trying to do time out in the crib but quickly decided it would not be the best place. We have started doing time out in the play pen - but in a different room than we're in. This way she gets no attention from us during the 5 minute time out.

I put my house in the corner. or honestly any place where they are isolated from anything. My oldest has been using the corner since he was 2 yrs old. You can get a step stool their size and place it in the kitchen and make him sit there for a minute. But the time out times is only 1 minute per yr of age. They tend to forget why they have to sit there longer than that. Good Luck

My son is 19 mo. and doing the same thing. It's nice to know it is a stage and eventually he'll outgrow it. We have not punished him for banging his head. We figure the pain will eventually keep him from doing it. He almost always has a red mark or bruise from banging his head!

When our daughter, now 4, would need a time out, we would sit her on the bottom step. That worked ok, but didn't get to the heart of the issue. Now she has to take a break, similar to time out, but she gets to decide when it is over. After the break, she comes to talk to the parent who sent her there, or the parent she was being mean to when she put herself there. We discuss why she was in a break, what she could have done differently, and what she might do in the future to prevent the break. She is very bright and can be reasoned with. I realize it may not be doable with all chilren but it has worked wonderfully on her attitude. It always ends with a hug or kiss to show her that we don't like her behavior, but love her unconditionally. Hope this helps.

B. A.

I had issues placing my son in time out in his room because he would just play. What I did was just had him sit in the kitchen facing a cabinet for the number of minutes that he is old. So for a 14 mo old you would do about 1.5 minutes. Things worked better for me having my son face away from me because he has a tendency to sucker me into letting up if I have to look at him (big puppy dog eyes).

Here are a few tips:
1. The time out should only be for 1 minute per year of age (1 minute in your case).
2. Set a timer
3. The time out doesn't start until he is still and quiet.
4. At this age, I had to hold my child and restrain him/her for the time out. They would not stay in a time-out spot at this age. Do not talk to the child during the time out.
5. My kids sit in the hallway for time-out. They are 3 and 5 now.
6. Recently, we have started a new policy. When they get a time-out and pitch a fit about it, they have to go sit on the bottom step in the basement (it is a finished basement that we use for a playroom) until they are done throwing the tantrum. They are not allowed to play with toys. When the tantrum is over, they can come back upstairs and have their time-out. This has worked especially well with my 3 yr old daughter. Without an audience to witness and listen to her tantrum, she sems to calm down a lot quicker.
7. You can designate a special chair, rug, etc. as the time-out spot if you want. Be prepared for the child to try to play with the time-out spot if they can though (getting in/out of the chair, throwing the rug, etc). This is why we just use the hallway -- nothing to distract them.
8. Read the book 123 Magic. It is meant for kids 2-12 but definately worth a read now just to prepare you for later. Good luck!

My daughter is now alomst 3 but we started time out at age one. This is how we do time out. . . one minute for every year, put in a different room w/no tv, toys, or interaction w/ anything fun, not allowed to leave the mat
(kinder nap mat) until the timer goes off on the stove, must appologize for their action when time is up. He will try to get up and leave the mat but each time he does, simply tell him to stay on the mat until you return, put him on the mat and leave the room. Go right in when the timer goes off and explain why he was in time out and ask him to apologize. It will take a couple of times BUT BE CONSISTANT! It works SO WELL for my daughter! Good luck!

I would have a central place if you have a little wooden or plastic chair that you can use specifically for time out that would work or a rug or something. I put them somewhere in the middle of the house (usually the kitchen or dining room). They are there 1 minute per age and since he's still young it might take a while for him to get the hang of it but be consistent. I recommend the Super Nanny book. It has great suggestions for different problems. It's not just one solution for every problem. You can do her method or just use it as a guide and modify it. Just make sure he's away from toys, the tv and all the fun :( And don't keep responding to him. Just tell him what he did was not a good decision and that he is in time out. Set a timer (that works well) so he knows when the timer goes off its over. Make sure you explain to him WHY he is going to time out and how to possibly correct what he did. Good Luck. It will be hard at first but you dont want it to continue.

I have a 17 month old and babysit for a 23 month old. I have found that using a chair has been too fun for them. The little ones are fun because they are their size and all the rest make them feel like big stuff so they play. We had to start using the floor for time out. It is not a new or novel thing and I make sure they can't reach any toys. With my son I had to start by making him sit restrained on my lap. When he calmed down then he could get down. I still have to kind of hold on to him on the floor but he is getting the idea. With the other one I was just able to tell him he's in time out and although he doesn't like it he does not try to get up.