Need Advise on Potty Training - Westchester,IL

Potty training...
Well my daughter did pretty good with being potty trained. She is in a daycare that there are other kids that are potty trained and she wanted to be like them. I was really happy. She pooped on the potty once with me and she said she didn't like it because it made her butt wet. I think she was afraid of the splash back that sometimes happens. Anyway after about 2 weeks she did start pooping on the potty. I think it will just take some time. As far as the diapers go I wouldn't put them on her when she asks. I would just say that there was no more. It may be alittle harsh but she needs to get use to not wearing one.
I wish you luck!
J.

Hi J.,
I have a friend that was in the very same situation. Her and I have the same pedi. and he is very "old fashioned". He told her that going to the bathroom is a change for a child that is more then just physical. He said that a child needs to be ready emotionally and mentally as well. Going poop is a bigger deal then pee pee for all kids. He also said that she should let her daughter take her time and that it's not considered a problem until the child turns about 4. It took her daughter about 6 mos. to go poop on the toilet but once she decided she was ready, there was no turning back.
Not all doctors think alike so you may want to check with you childs ped. Try not to worry, she will sense your stress and that certainly won't speed up the process.
Good luck.
P-

The muscle you use to urinate and the one you use to have a BM with are different. It takes longer for children to learn how to have a BM. Don't be hard on your daughter! She KNOWS that the "poop" needs to go in the toilet, that is a great first step! Give her time, she will figure out that she needs to sit on the toilet BEFORE she can wave it good-bye. Deep breath, don't get mad at her, praise her for at least knowing where to go! We want our kids to move out of stages way before they are ready sometimes. 2 and 1/2 is STILL young! Be patient. =)

We are in the midst of potty training as well. We took a few wierder approaches but they totally worked. One of my friends, a mother of three, had recomended these ideas when potty training their kids. When our daughter would poop in her pull ups we made a point of dumping it in the toilet and saying goodbye as she flushed it down the toilet. I tried the m&m's initially as rewards but what actually worked better was a little potty dance we would do and sign a song showing our excitement about her using the potty. We would also "brag" about her to people so she could overhear saying how she just went potty by herself etc. I also let her in the bathroom when I sat on the potty for either #1 or 2. You don't realize how much these kids want to be like you as their role models for "big girls and boys". As soon as I did that she wanted to do the same thing. I know these all sound pretty wierd but they work. By the way, my husband initially thought I was nuts but as he saw these things working he got on board and these tricks actually worked pretty quickly. Hope it helps and good luck.

I agree with your husband...push the "big girl" thing. You'll probably have quite a few messy accidents in her big girl underwear at first, but such is life. I kknow with my son he was potty trained for about six months and then regressed when we moved...he also was 2 1/2. We also made him help us clean his underwear if he pooped in them...he would tell us he liked to sit in poop (joy-he didn't like cleaning his underwear out though) Tha t seemed to do the trick.

DO NOT BRIBE YOUR KIDS WITH M&Ms FOR POOPING!!!!! Never use candy as a bribe. This happened with my brother-in-law (M&Ms every time he went potty) and he has had a warped relationship with food and a weight problem his whole life! Also, unless their "reward" includes a thorough brushing of teeth, get ready for many trips to the dentist! They will expect candy every day, every time they go potty, and that adds up to a LOT of candy. Do the stickers, songs, and applause as rewards, but not candy or food!!!

Hi J.,
My son did not want to go poop in the potty and he would just go in his underwear (talk about a yucky cleanup). I created a calendar and everytime he went potty we would put a sticker on the calendar, he seemed to enjoy that a lot(I still use that for thier everyday chores). Before the calendar I used to bribe him w/candy. My children dont get much candy so it was a big treat. Everytime he went poop, I would give him 4 m&m's. My son was afraid of the big potty at school and that is why he did not want to go. Once we showed him how to balance his little butt, he was okay with it.

I know others that have given little toys once they went. They had a stash of cheap toys and if they pooped they would let them choose a toy.

The reward (or bribe) system works well for me.

My son did the same thing! We finally told him, no more diapers in the house and put gerber training pants on him. In addition to that, we also had a potty chart that was done via pullups. He got a sticker on the bathroom chart every time that he pooped in the potty without need of diaper. He found that that is reward enough for doing well.

This one is always tough! We had this problem with my youngest daughter as well.

I do agree with you husband though. Once this stock of diapers is gone, don't buy anymore. Keep reminding her that once they are gone, they are gone, and she is going to have to start going in the potty. I'm sure there will be accidents and tense moments, but she will get the hang of it. Be ready to through away some panties! You may reward her with new pretty panties if she starts going on the potty. That worked for my girlfriend.

My daughter went the constipation route. She would with-hold her stool for DAYS!!!(diaper or no diaper) She would start doubling over, crying, pacing, it was awful. My pediatrician recommended Mineral oil in her milk a few time a day to lubricate, we did enemas when it got really bad and laxatives that made things worse! We finally went to miralax to help her go. But I have to say what really worked was the lots of patience and chocolate! I know you are getting conflicting information here (the M&M's) but it was around Easter and they had those little chocolate bunnies, so every time she went poop on the potty, she got a "poo-poo bunny" Sounds strange(and gross), but it worked. After a few bunnies, she never had another problem with constipation or going potty. She did want to keep getting chocolate for going potty for a while but after the box was gone, I told her we didn't have any more, she was fine with that, the rewarding stopped, and the pooping continued. Her eating habits are very healthy and she does not continue to ask for candy and chocolate every day.

Hang in there!

Hi,

My 2 yr old daughter is recently potty trained. She too was relectant with the poopy in the toilet. I too was putting pull ups back on due to this but realized it only sent her backwards (she knew she could be lazy). I took the harsher method (for both her & I) and left her in undies. We then had the poopies in the undies. One day I decided not to change her as quickly as normal (she didn't like the feeling). That was the last of poopies in the undies. She now runs on her own to the toilet.

Good luck!
C. (SAHM of 3 precious children - boy 3 1/2; girl 2; girl 3wks)

J.,
For some reason, this often happens--the kids just don't want to poop in the potty. Also, I tried to bribe my son many times. The fact is, they will poop in the potty when they are comfortable with the idea. They know what we mean, but they are afraid. This is very stressful for them, so I disagree with your husband about running out of diapers. She is only
2 1/2. Buy her diapers. This will put her at ease. You are right about constipation. My son held it so long that it scared me.
Amy

Hi. I just started potty training my son, so I don't exactly have advice, but I was wondering if you have noticed that she uses a particular body posture to poop in the diaper that she can't use sitting on the potty. My son will poop and pee in the potty if I notice that he has to go and I put him on it, but he's still too small to know to go by himself or to tell me ahead of time. I have noticed with poops that he will get into a squat position and then start to grunt, so when I see him do that I put him on the potty. At first I had to push his legs up against his belly (imitating the squat position) for him to go in the potty. You might try asking her if it's uncomfortable or difficult for her to make poop on the potty/toilet and see if you can help her position herself better. Good luck!

J.:

have you tried asking here why?.... I suspect that she will "come around" if you don't puch too much and let her get there on her own.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com

Hi J.,
I think the advice of bribery works well. A friend of ours did as one mom suggested and used stickers on a calendar and once her daughter successfully completed a week, she was rewarded witha goldfish. One note, we tried taking the diapers away from my son and, as you suspected might happen with your daughter, he now has a constipation problem. We now have created a vicious cycle of 1. him getting freaked out about going poopy 2. therefore he started holding it 3. became constipated 4. and when he finally went, it hurt very badly 5. and now associates going poopy with pain and therefore holds it in every time, having excrutiating BM's every time. I agree to be patient - everyone says it will happen in due time. Good luck!

It will happen. When she decides. Kids are extremely stubborn at that age. My 3 yr old has pooped in her underwear standing 5 ft from the toilet, and she's been trained 5+ months. It's not the end of the world to clean up soiled undies (yes, it is messy)....I would stop putting her in diapers and let her feel the sensation of what she's doing. That's how our parents 25,30+ years ago did it with cloth.

good luck