Need an Outside Opinion

Update the contract and tell her this is the way it is. If she doesn't like it, she can find another dance company to accommodate her needs. Bet she won't find one either.

If/when she runs her own class, she can do as she pleases.
You've accommodated her a little and now she wants more thinking you are a push over.
So, no more - her choice is to accept what you are offering or walk away from it.

Wow, if only Christian songs were permitted, we'd never have Vivaldi's "Four Seasons," Mozart's "The Magic Flute," Beethoven's 5th symphony, Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue..." Sorry, I wouldn't want my musical choices limited to only Christian music...and I am a choir girl through and through!

Spread the blame! Chances are if you change the music you will have other parents upset because you did. You might phrase it that way.

"Mary, I understand your concerns, but I choose the music we dance to very carefully. I am meticulous about the lyrics. I think if we changed the music to all one style most of the other parents would be unhappy and I am afraid the kids will get bored. Also, having only one type of music will greatly limit the dances I teach, so it will really limit the kids."

It's your class, your choices.
If other parents feel the same way, you may have to make a tough business decision.

As a secular homeschooler, I'd be miffed if a class suddenly went 100% Christian. Some would be fine by me, but I'd take that hypothetical change as a sign that I wasn't welcome.

I would not accommodate this Mom. She.. is the type that will go around doing this, trying to control every activity her kids take.... wherever she goes.

Per videos/photos: you as a dance School, need to have waivers signed by parents, so that you can or cannot, take photos or video.
Usually, dance schools or any school, does this.
But it does really limit, what you can or cannot take photos or video.
Mostly, you would need to NOT have that Mom's child, in any of your photos or video.

Again, if this Mom does not like the music you play at your dance school/classes, she can find another dance school for her kids.
It is outrageous, that she is trying to "command" your dance school and classes.
This is, inappropriate.

Look, you provide a service that includes the following: A, B, C, D, E, F.
If the parents won't sign the contract, then you can decline them as clients.
For instance, if they want no pictures or video of their children, it won't be a good fit as you photo and video the group as a whole.
If they are against anything that isn't "Christian" based, they won't be a good fit. If somebody wants to get technical, Swan Lake isn't Christian. How limited should you have to be?
You have a mission statement stating what you provide, what your philosopy is and what you hope the children can gain.
You have a contract stating your curriculum.
They agree and it works out or they can find a different class.
That sounds harsh, but you can't change everything for the entire group and yourself based on the wants of one family. Regardless of how much you like them, these are your classes. Do things how you do them and if someone doesn't feel it's appropriate for their child, it's their choice not to continue or enroll in the first place.
Otherwise, you change things for one family and next thing you know, another family wants you to change something else because you changed it when someone else wanted you to and it can just cause a big mess.
You'll find yourself stressing more than enjoying what you set out to do. You can't accommodate everyone's intricate personal wishes when you are dealing with a group. It's just not possible. And it's not fair to change things for one family when everyone else likes it the way it is. Including YOU...the one who is giving the dance lessons.

I wish you the best and hope you get it worked out.

yeah, contract update ASAP...try politely telling the mom that your program is geared for all people and that to make that kind of change for her would not be fair to all of the other families, especially since if you so that for her then you have to make changes for everyone. good luck and God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really think that if the majority of your class is happy you don't need to accomodate this one family. I do understand that it could be very very akward, but I would think the rest of your loyal families would see what she was trying to do, essentially push you around, and support you and the great work you do for their families.

If you were not careful about lyrics or weren't as thoughtful as you sound, then maybe i could see that she has a point but this just seems a little extreme to me to try to make everyone else do what she wants.

You don't need to change anything to accomodate them. They can choose to take classes from you the way they are - or they can find someone who meets all of their criteria. Bottom line. YOU need to do what works for you, you are the one teaching the classes. I wouldn't necessarily phrase it to her that way, but I would tell her that you will not be changing your music. I would say something like

"I have already done my coreography based on the songs that I chose and it takes me too much time to re-do all of that. I will TRY to keep that in mind for the future, but part of the reason that my costs are so low is because I am not having to constantly change what already works for me."

and leave it at that.....

Aside from the awkwardness seeing each other in other situations, is there any concern that losing her 5 kids will hurt your income, or reputation?
I feel that you are doing what you can to protect the kids from nasty vulgar, more mature lyrics and should tell her that. Let her know you appriciate her concern and you are glad she cares as you do, but that you are careful to screen each song choice and see no reason to change what youve been doing. You may have others in the classes who would be offended if they started feeling they are in a religious dance class. Its not her right to demand others be exposed to nothing but Christian music and it is your right to choose the music for your class in your home. Shes lucky you care enough to make sure its appropriate for them at all. What would she do if other families wanted NO Christian music? How would she handle that? Shes doing the same thing to them.
As for videos and pictures,,is there a way to have her kids skip the day you want to do photos, or have them sit on the side while you video the others. Im sure some dances they hold a spot that is important but you could always have them miss this part somehow. Then when other parents see the photos she will wonder why her little sweeties arent in them,,

I think you might want to go over the contract with the individually. I'm a homeschool graduate, teach high school homeschoolers and am now homeschooling my kindergartener and preschooler, but sometimes we homeschoolers can be a little difficult in this regard: So used to individualized lesson plans that they forget they're taking a group class that can't be individualized. :) I'd be kind and professional, explain your reasons, encourage them to stay, but that these are the terms of their enrollment. It's not your responsibility to find them another class if they choose not to enroll. If you're willing and able, you might consider holding a second session that IS only p&w and see if it's more popular than the mixed group. If not, don't feel bad. My mom would have said: she didn't feel bad requesting the change, you shouldn't feel bad turning it down. :)

I was going to suggest that you update your contract! Make sure that you include a "release" if you will be using the pictures/video for ANY advertising or on a website (if you have one). If you aren't currently advertising, then do so! This sounds like a great program!

Definitely refer to your contract and update it as needed. I wouldn't adjust the songs simply to suit her. I think people bring their children to your "praise and worship" class because of how you specifically set it up. To change it just for her would lose your other clientele and change the heart of your business.

What I would adjust in your contract is that if a client would like their children to have more say in the music choices, such as "all praise and worship, no contemporary Christian, no non-Christian" then you will add an option for a special tailored class but it will cost an additional fee per child per session (if they pay by the session) or per season (if they pay by the season).

Make sure that you include picture taking and what the reasons for it would be in your contract, including if you ever do social events or have reason to submit something to the local newspaper or having a photographer come in to take the professional shots of the kids in their costumes before recitals for their own personal use.

You might want to get a lawyer to help you out with the wording.

Legally you cannot take a child's picture or video without written consent from the legal parent. She can sue you if you do so.

Here's your only solution. You must do a sign up for "recital" that includes a permission to video and take pictures. If she does not sign it her kids do not participate.

Otherwise she can't tell you what to do, if she really does want to control what her kids are listening to then you'll have to decide what is more important, you decision and ability to pick music or to fall into her wants and desires. How do the other parents feel? Are they just to mellow to complain but really wish the same thing?

My contract for child care services had a notation in it that stated I took pictures often and they were posted on the kids classroom walls. If they didn't sign it I could not legally take their picture.

You can not make everyone happy all the time. You run a dance program that parent's freely choose to place their children in. If they do not like the program then they are free to make other arrangements.

With that being said, I worked in youth development for for-ever. We did have a space on our applications that the parents could check if they did not want their children photographed or videoed since we published many pictures of our club activities on our website and used them in brochures. Many parents are shy of having their children's faces "out there" so this may be an option you would want to consider.

As for the music and the programming - that is your decision - it is your program.

Good Luck
God Bless

Personal relationships should not cross professional relationships. If you want to change up your class because "professionally" it works for you and your business then go for it. If you try to please everyone then you are setting yourself up for frustration. Just make it clear to your friend that business and personal life need to be kept separate. Hopefully if she's a good friend she will understand.

Jaimee,
I would do what I want, you're the teacher, you can't acommodate everyone all the time. Mention to this Mom that her children are not the only ones in the class and you do a little of everything to try and make sure everyone gets something out of it they want, and mention that the children are just glad to have fun and learn about all of the things you teach. They may each have their own fav, but, you can't change up everything, it's all about the kids ,not the parents. And don't feel bad about it, you are trying to teach a variety , not just the parents' favorites. Tell all the parents you are open to suggestion for trying different things , but ,you're not willing to narrow the choices ! Keep up the Good work ! C. S.

Add in your contract a form for the parents to sign to agree to release pictures and videos taken at your school. you offer a business and it is okay to take in considerations and concerns as any business would do (like a survey) but you make the final decsion and I would not change to fit the specific parents requests unless you are ready to change what other parents ask and then you are having specialized classes for each parent! shoot that should cost more money per class..LOL! Let us know what you decide.

The customer isn't always right. This is your class, your schedule, and really just a hobby/business, not a business set up to cater to each individual family. Even with 5 kids, she shouldn't be able to dictate what you do or don't do in your class. If she doesn't like it, maybe she can have better luck trying to find someone else.

This is your class, not a class designed for them. Honesty is the best policy, if you do not talk to her and let her know this bothers you.......how will she know soooooo she keeps putting her changes in. Time for a sit down and let her know from now on the classes will stay as is. If she is not happy I would say I am sorry and hand her a pamphlet of surrounding areas that have dance that you can give to her. Good luck!

P.S contract is a great idea!

I would just spell out in the contract that you choose the music and that you video tape the classes. Have them sign a release saying they accept this. When you give the contract to this family, tell them that you want them to be sure that they agree with the entire contract before they sign it. Don't say any more than that. If they ask what you mean, tell them to just read it over and that it's not open to debate.

I am not a quiet little thing if I really think something needs to change. But I've never even considered telling some teacher in some thing my kids participated in that they need to change something. I'm much more apt to look for another activity if I don't agree.

I used to teach classes to young children at Parks and Rec and loved it. Then I moved to another city and got the same job there, but this city made me constantly accommodate and bend to the parents' wishes. It is impossible to do exactly what every parent wants, especially if they contradict each other. You have to do what you do as a teacher, and if it doesn't mesh with their style they can go elsewhere. Bending to difficult people just makes them more demanding and makes the job less enjoyable. You'll feel micro-managed and like someone is breathing down your neck.

If this is your business then do not change it for anyone she can't go any were else and make them change they would jut tell her to get out... It is very hard when you are friends but just sit her down and let her know that you understand she isn't happy with the way you run your business but when her kids are there it's strictly business and you can not accomodate everyone so this is how it's gonna be.. If still not I would find another class and give her the info and say maybe this company can accomodate you better.. Never change for anyone that is the whole point of haing your OWN business is so you don't have a boss.... (I have my own business & like you I became to close friends with a parent and I changed for her and now I regret it but hard to go back)

I would let her have the choice of choosing another class. After you accommodate this it sounds like she'll want something else changed. Kinda seems like someone who won't be happy unless she is controlling the situation. You can just politely say that you do have some worship songs but you will have some clean songs to accommodate others too. I would update your contract and put in there that you will take reasonable pictures and videos that they can have copies of. State that you will only take pictures/videos of fully clothed children at appropriate practice and performance times and will ask permission for any picture used for advertising pictures (I turned down a daycare because they wanted the free license to use a child's pic as their ads or facebook daycare page). As a mom, I always get a little iffy when they say they are going to take pics/videos of my little one. If I read something like that, I'd be like okay cool. For dance, I think I would be a little iffy but I could see the point especially if you have your own kids doing it. I mean at performances I bet most of the moms are video taping the entire group and their own child.

Think if every business bent to every customer's unique & unrealistic demands... the business would cease to exist, I'm sure.

Bottom line, you can't make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try. Keep it the same & make the contract more specific. If she really wants special treatment for her 5 kids, then she'll have to pay accordingly (if you are wanting to go that route.)

Any chance you want to move to Ohio? My daughter would love to take ballet.

I think updating the contract will probably help. You cannot keep up with meeting this woman's demands. You can't allow her to control and change how you do your business. Good luck.