Need Help About Future Job Status

The life you're describing is exactly why I decided to stay home after our second was born. You can always go back to work, you can't "go back" to your family. I just knew that my family would be better off if I quit my job for a while.
You certainly don't have to think of quitting your job as a permanent thing. I know many moms who took just a year or two off. And you never know what awaits as far as your future employment.
I've been home for 2 1/2 years and I'm returning to work full time at the end of this month -- to my same employer, earning more money, with a new, more exciting position. If I hadn't left, I don't know if this opportunity would have been available for me!

Staying home with kids has its own kind of challenges and emotions as well -- it hasn't been a walk in the park (it certainly didn't mean my house was any cleaner!). And I am soooo glad that mother's day out programs exist. I don't know if I would have survived the last year without it.
However, I wouldn't change what we did (and it DID make a big financial impact for us, as I was the primary breadwinner). It's what my family needed for that season.
As far as whether I embraced it immediately...I did have fun at first. Mainly because I could wear sweats and t-shirts all day :)
We went on outings in the middle of the day, which is infinitely nicer than busy, crowded weekend outings. I had a cleaning schedule (notice I say "had"), I cooked meals regularly. When my 10 month old got sick and was hospitalized for 3 days I was very glad I was able to just take care of him without having to worry about making up for time missed at work.
At some point I did hit a wall though. When you're used to being able to start a project and complete it, it's hard to adjust to life with small children. Everything is interrupted, always, and it can be difficult to have a moment to yourself. That's why I think Mother's Day Out programs are so wonderful! Also, I have had a couple evenings a week to go to Starbucks with girlfriends, and I found a group of mom friends at the gym and the MDO. What surprised me was that many of them were career women who had also taken some time off to be with their families. Not the sickeningly domestic, martha stewart types I'd imagined :-).

I think there's always fear in leaving what you know, and stepping into the unknown. In fact, I'm having the same sort of feelings about returning to work. I'd finally gotten comfortable with the flow of things, and I had begun thinking of staying home long term (which is shocking, considering I never imagined I'd ever stay home in the first place).
However, things change, don't they?

First of all, only you can answer this question for yourself. It is all based on your perception of yourself and what you need to be. Do you want to be a career woman or do you want to be a SAHM. Each is a very distinctive choice.

I personally quit a very high paying job to stay home with my baby. I don't want to miss a single minute of her life and I don't want someone else to get my firsts. I was very career oriented early in my life, but I burned out. There are very few positions I did not acheive. It just wasn't what I needed.

It took me 6 miscarriages to get my lucky number seven into this world. I have found Elizabeth has become my world. I can't explain what this "career" has done for me. The joy of her little giggles and the fact that she is the happiest baby I have ever seen makes every day worth waking up. I am so lucky that my dh has the ability to support us and give me the best opportunity to ensure our daughter has every moment she needs of my time.

So, if I were you, I would quit my job. Know that they are only young once and you can go back to work in a few years. That being said, I am not you. I don't know your wants and needs for your life. The old saying is "If Momma's not happy, no one is happy." So do some soul searching and figure out what makes Momma happy.

Good luck!

We live in a modest home, don't own big fancy cars, we'll never be able to take vacations to Hawaii, I don't wear flashy diamonds, but I could not be happier with the choices we've made. I am able to stay home and raise my own children. My husband and I agree that the sacrifices we've made are so very worth it.

A couple of books which really spoke to me and helped me when I struggled with the decision:

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Know-How-She-Does/dp/037571375...

http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Parents-Mess-Their/dp...

i recently quit my job in august and although you have to situate things differently finacially, it is worth the small sacrifices that we have had to make. i absolutely love spending the time with my kids and not being so rushed. we actually have time for things like dance and karate now because we are not pushed from one moment to the next

but what if i could offer you a chance to make some income and stay at home with your kids without any financial risk to you, no selling, no parties, etc. have you ever considered starting a stay at home business? i have stumbled onto a really great one. there is no sales, or inventory to keep, no parties to throw or magazines to pass out. you can do it full time or part time and basically make as much money as the effort you want to put into it. if you are interested in some more information please visit my website at www.formyrugrats.com. i would love to share this amazing opportunity with you!!!

D. Mattern
The MOM Team
Raise your income and your rugrats at the same time!
www.formyrugrats.com
"The only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love," Galatians 5:6

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I was going to return to work and choose not to 2 days before hand. I cried for a week. Loss of my "professional" self. what have I done, we are going to be poor forever, I am going to loose my mind. All of the stuff I still fret about today still one year later. Did our lifestyle change - YES, HUGE. Do I feel nuts some days - YES, but I have one daughter in MDO and the baby stays with me. I have decided that I will only be June Cleaver 2 days a week. There is no need for our house to be spotless.

Do I want to go back to work? Some days more than others. I had a job interview the other day, I hated the thought of going back to work. But I will tell you this. Even though I easily put in 60-70 hours a week at my "career", I work harder ever day now that I am at home. I worked with my first daughter but didn't with the second. It was a tough, tough decision. What ever you choose, you will think that you made the wrong decision for a while. I think this situation is only temp for us. I will go back - but not to my career. My next job will have these great "Mommy Hours". This is my new dream.

Sorry to ramble. Just thoughts from someone that has been in your shoes.

I just became a SAHM & it is so very different from what I know that it is taking a while to get used to it. Some D. I think this is the best thing ever & other D. I wonder what in the world we were thinking when we decided to do this. I know for sure though that in just a few short years my son will be going into school & then my time with him will be even shorter. I missed so much with his first couple of years that I don't want to do the same thing with my daughter.
Since you mention that you are self employed would it be possible to just cut back hours? Maybe only work 2 or 3 D. a week for a while. That way you can still work outside of the home but also be there more? Good luck making your decision...just do what you & your husband think is best for the kids. God Bless

I used to feel the same way! I would be home all day w/my colic baby while my hubby went to work and at least got to go the bathroom in peace...lol....being a SAHM is so very hard at times, but I MISS IT SOOOO MUCH!! I went back to work when my girl was 7 months old....had no choice...financial matters...if I had to do it all over again I would have saved every penny and enjoyed my time and not complained...I know it's hard, but your 10 month old won't be 10 months old for long...he/she will get bigger and more independant. I so know how you feel! I have a GREAT job w/excellent pay, but I wish I were home or at least closer to home during the day! Only you can decide, but if you think it won't be easier it will....good luck!

I do some consuting for a medical company, but it isn't solid work. It is only when I am needed. I have been in the pharmaceutical industry for over 15 years and found this job; however, jobs like this are far few and in between. I know you don't want an investment or membership, but have you looked at Monavie? I was very skeptical at first and I wish I had listened to my friend 3 years ago when she told me about this opportunity. It came back into my life about 3 months ago and I'm so glad I listened to my colleagues from my Pfizer job. It is such an awesome job and the investment is very minimal. You don't have to sell stuff, you don't have to have inventory. It's only $39 - which sounded pretty safe to me. Plus, I had lots of friends who were involved and doing great. I am making great money and I am staying home with the kids. This business has not taken off in San Antonio - it is a prime opportunity. Johns Hopkins University reports that you should be involved in a business before 1/2 of 1 percent of the population is involved. Right now, we are 1/2 way there. Check out my website - www.mymonavie.com/amberwhite

I agree! Only you can answer that question! Its a hard choice to make. And, quite honestly, there will be times you will wonder if you made the right one, no matter which you choose. I decided to stay home when my firt was born. I don't regret that decision at all, but there have been times I wondered if it was wrong. Times where I starte to forget who I was as a person instead of a mom. Especially when we moved to a new state and I didn't know anyone, or have a job where I could meet new people. It was hard. Evntually, I decided to do both. I stay home with our girls, but I also have a home-based business that allows me to get out of the house, meet new people, learn new things and just be me! It has been great and I have really learned a lot about myself. I feel like I have the best of both worlds!

Good luck in your decision! I hope you find the answers you are looking for!

=) S.

Well I use to teach, but we decided I would stay home once we had our first child. I would wake up somedays thinking wow it this really what I am suppose to be doing changing diapers, nursing, cleaning and cooking :). It was difficult to transition, but once you do it is the best thing in the world. You really need to stay busy with play groups, join a bible study during the week so they can watch your little one and you can get some adult conversation. There are the days that I think working would be so much easier, but how lucky are we that we have the option to stay at home some mom's don't so be grateful you can and embrase it.

Dear J.
I have not read the other responses so I am going to give you my advice. I started working at 18 went to college didnt finish, got married still working, had my first son got divorced. 2nd Marriage, still working had 2nd child.By the age of 29 Married 2nd time and working teaching music. I taught for 7yrs in one district, at that time my youngest started school he didnt want to go, and my husband was making enough money he suggested I stop working to devote more time for my youngest. It worked out great but after a year I really really missed working. I now have been in my sons school district for 3yrs.I have experienced working outside and inside of home. The reason 1st marriage did'nt work he never helped me with anything. Trash, dinner,baby, cutting grass and I was working at a school.My current husband bless his heart helps me tremendouly. He dosent do everything, but helps me when I need it. He washes his own clothes, makes excuse that I loose his socks. At least once a week he washes dishes, sometimes vacuums when I do the yard work(which I love to do) he will do the house work. If you work at home or out of the home every women needs alittle help. But if he has never helped before you need to start him up slowly. Ask him to watch kids once a week for just one hour while you do something. You dont have to leave the house if you dont want to but you need alittle time to yourself. If you are not healthy and happy your whole family will suffer.Then slowly and nicely ask him to help you with one or two chores a week. Your house does not need to be emaculate all the time, but you NEED to be healthy and happy for you and your family. My 9yr old does some small chores for a small allowance ea week. Sweeping, making beds, cleaning his room. He loves the pride it comes with accomplishing something and helping mom.I personally cannot stay home, but thats just me, and when I did I had to make a schedule for me and my children. You have a 10month so I know it is harder to make a schedule but it helps a great deal.Let your husband know that you really appreciate that he works hard so that you and the children can stay home, and don't be afraid or feel guilty about asking for alittle help, I guarentee you, you will feel much better about your decision to stay home, if you truly enjoy it.Wish the best don't give up.

J.,

You are getting a lot of responses from women who have chosen to stay home. I chose to return to work when my baby was three months old. It was hard leaving him, but I do not regret going to work everyday. We have found a caregiver who cares deeply about his well-being and happiness. In my opinion, the more people helping care for my baby the better - he is surrounded by people who love him and he is learning to interact with all sorts of different people. I am able to continue to garner the gratification of succeeding at work. And, our family has a stronger sense of financial security.

It sounds like the root of your stress is the fact that you have too much to do and no help. If that is the case, pull your husband off the couch and demand his support. Those kids are his too, the house is his too. Certainly he can bathe a baby or cook a meal.

And, if he balks about missing the latest Law & Order - invest in Tivo and tell him to push pause and watch it later.

good luck. K.

I am a stay at home mom, I love it, but there are times i feel resentful to my husband also, but those are only on the days i am very stressed, but besides my two kiddos (who are not in school yet) to take care of i also take care of the house and my husbands very sick grandparents, and also keep up my husbands dads, and brothers house (laundry and such). So there are times i wish i could get a break too. But i do love it i love seeing my kiddos do everything for the first time, and just spending time with them. But like some other moms said it is up to you this is a decision only you can make. Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.

I left an almost 6 figure income behind to stay at home with my daughter. At first, I had taken a year long leave of absence to be sure that is what I wanted to do, but after that first year, I could not imagine going back to work, so I left permanently. Honestly, there are days that are tough and I wonder what I was thinking. I have always had a strong maternal instinct, but I am very driven too and never dreamed I would be a SAHM. Now that I am, I consider myself very lucky and wouldn't have it any other way. It takes a bit of getting used to, but I very rarely meet someone in our position who has regretted missing out on work.

Also, I second the idea of a Mother's Day Out program. I started my daughter in one when she was about 8-9 months old so that I could volunteer one day per week as a mentor for an at risk child in elementary school. This was really fulfilling and gave me a purpose other than just being "mom" or "wife". If you have the means, these are great programs. You get some time to yourself to do whatever makes you happy (get your nails done, hang out at Starbucks, grocery shop in peace and/or volunteer).

I wish you the best of luck in your decision. It isn't an easy one for any of us, but just be sure your hubby is on board with your decision and you can't go wrong.

If your husband does make enough money for your family & you do not have to be stressed & work ! I wouldn't work !
Just enjoy your children, they grow so fast as it is, there are so many woman out there that would love to be able to stay at home and not work, but financially cannot do it, unlike your-self, take advantage of it !
One day your children will be grown & gone, then look for something to do ! Good Luck ~