Need Help with 18M0 Old Who Will Not Sleep!!!!

Its hard but the only way is ................Let him cry He will not die even though you will feel like doing so . Close the door and if you dont go in he will cry his self to sleep. It takes a little less and less time for him to finally go to sleep .I swear this was the hardest issue for me ....So good luck

I have been going though this with my 18 month old since the day she was born. 1 week ago I had enough and so did my husband. The lack of sleep has been effecting us and my other kids for long enough. I brought the Ferber sleep book and identified the problem with our girl and did just what he wrote to do. She cried hard the first and second night and it was super hard. And cried at naps as well for 3 days, but guess what??? She has slept though the night for the last 3 nights and has taken great naps about 1 to 2 hours a day. I will never go back to the way it was. Except during illness, etc.....I was doing the same stuff as you. The book said Skyler has a "job" to do, that is why she was waking up fully, to reestablish the conditions in which she needed to go to sleep. Get the book!!!

For now, forget about naps and concentrate on the bedtime routine. Put him down around 8:00 and let him cry it out. Being 18 mos. old, he will cry for a long time, but he WILL eventually go to sleep. Each night should get shorter. You will be so glad you did this. I was when I did it. It changed my life immensely when my babies went to sleep on their own at night. When you get that down, see if you can try naps again, if not, don't fight it. Without naps, maybe he will even go down at 7:00 at night. I've known several babies who don't nap and they turned out fine! Good luck!

I feel your pain!!! My 23 month old does the same thing and is not a sleeper at all! And worst yet if he naps he is up till 10 pm or later!
I found with this child the best to do is keep him up all day instead of fighting him to nap midday. Then by 8 pm he is sound asleep! Of course he gets up at 6 am , but I can live with that!
Good luck.

This one sounds tough, but my friend Eileen is a sleep consultant and I know she could help you. Her number is ###-###-####. She's really good at helping with these situations. She's worked with kids/babies of all ages.

Take care,
D.

Hi S.,
I am also going through a similar situation. My 20 month old girl hates her crib and will cry in it for 2 hours if I let her. So, I gave in and she slept in my bed for naps and night time for the last month. My husband and I decided that we were going to change her crib into the Toddler bed. Today is day 2 and last night was a fight!!! It took some time to get her to sleep. I had to lay next to the bed until she fell asleep. Then she woke up at 1am and kept getting out of her bed. She cried and screamed, but I kept putting her back into her bed over and over again without talking to her (about 30 different times) Finally, after 2 hours, she fell back to sleep (3am) she only slept until 6:00 am. Today for nap time, it took her and hour of getting in and out of the bed at least 10 times before she fell asleep with me standing in her room near the door.(she would fall asleep and then wake up and start crying because I wasn't there)
I know that this is the best thing to do because she NEEDS to be in her bed and fall asleep on her own. I know that I may be looking at another week or so before she accepts this routine, but it will work.
It's ok to let your little one cry.....yes, he may cry for a very long time, but he will eventually fall asleep. If her throws his pacifer and blanket out, use that to tell him that he will not get it back if he throws it again.....follow through, it's VERY important to be consistant. In the past, I have let my baby cry for well over an hour in her crib. I would go in every so often to let her know that I was still here if she needs me, but that usually caused her to cry harder when I left. It was a vicious cycle, but it will eventually work. good luck!

Hi S.,
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Hi S.,

Some babies don't nap. My friend's baby stopped napping when he started sleeping through the night and that was at 5 months.
Also, some babies wake up early, mine does. I get to see the sunrise almost every day.
I would focus on getting your son to go to sleep at night, and if he needs to nap, he will do it.
Good luck.

I have a 16 month old very determined little boy. He used to be the same way. I tried a few different things and ended up simply having to let him cry it out. Once I knew that he was safe and this could not hurt him I just stuck to my guns. It took about 2 weeks for it to really make a difference and they were 2 very hard weeks. However now he is rather good about nap & bedtime. He gets a bottle for both and after that the door stays shut. You might want to invest in a video baby monitor. I did and it gave me peace of mind that he was behind the shut door and that he was simply testing his boundaries. My son still has hard days especially when his scehdule gets messed up however over the past month it has been much better. I send you many happy thoughts as I know how hard it was for me!

S.,

From what you've shared, is that your son is confused and frustrated...and the only time he finds comfort is when your husband lays with him to nap.

At 18 months old, there are SO many things happening for a toddler. They do not just learn to sleep by themselves and they do not just understand that Mommy and the other kids are not doing things without them on purpose.

If he had trouble sleeping, when did this start? Just thoughts, but my son has always been a super light sleeper, and everything will catch his ear while he's sleeping. Have you tried white noise, or music to drown out the sounds of the house? My son always falls asleep with music and Mommy laying next him rubbing his back. I was able to transition him to sleep 2 hours on his own, after I left the bed at 18 months in a couple of months. Today at 2.5 he falls asleep with me sitting on the bed, and has the comfort knowing that he can call for me if he needs me or I will be sitting htere reading a book. Toddlers need peace of mind, and reassurance that their world is static and unchanging.

Your son is screaming because he is confused and frustrated...bottomline is he doesn't get it. He isn't sure what you want him to do. Do you have a naptime routine? Bedtime routine? These are key components to sending ques to kids that it's time to get some rest.

His age is prime for Seperation Anxiety, and with a new Baby in the house also the confusion over what has taken place to bring a new person into his world. This is a great age/stage to begin explaining details of the day. How things work, what Mommy does with the baby and how he can be your helper. My son experiencing Seperation Anxiety whenever change occurs that he is not prepared for or able to understand...like Mommy working late for a couple days in a row.

My friend's little boy (2) and baby girl (6mos.) are in daycare three days a week while she works part-time, and he refuses nap when he is home with her. He cries and shouts and yells, and even got to the point where he would throw things. Our Pedi told her that this was classic Seperation Anxiety and that at this point it was time to begin a new routine. She confessed to laying with him to get him to sleep and the doctor said, 'so?'.

It's not a bad thing to do whatever works for your child. If it helps and gets them through it's okay. It's just a matter of finding a way to make it work, and transition away from it at the right time for the child.

With the baby around he may be craving one-on-one time that he used to get before the little one arrived. It's really important and key to understand that his impulse control is not developed, and his ability to express himself and his emotions is at a base level of zero.

I think you may need to take a look at your day, and how it can best work around ALL your kiddos and create a calm environment for the toddler.

Best of luck!

is it a constant routine that you do day to day? what i do with my daughter (whos 21 months) is i give her quiet time before a nap or bed. i know this may be difficult because you do have other children in the house. but even if its 10 mins while he drinks his cup before the naps or bed. my daughter is pretty good about going down for a nap without quiet time but at bed she expects it and gets upset when she doesnt get it (when my husband puts her down he doesnt do it like i ask him to). after i do her quiet time i place her in bed and thats it she doesnt come out again. i do let her cry it out (and this isnt for everyone i know) and it does sound like you have tried it. i would say keep it up and he will learn with time. turn his monitor off if you have to and shut his door. just explain to him that its bedtime and i wont be back till its time to get up. he is used to being the baby and it may be hard for him to understand that its time to be a big boy. take it a little slowly and give it time. good luck.