Need Help with 3 1/2 Year Old That Doesn't Stay in Bed......

My toddler does the same thing. She gets up at least three times to go potty, when I know she doesn't have to, and finds other excuses to get up. I have found it helpful to just keep putting her back in bed without saying a word to her. It drives her nuts when she doesn't get a reaction or any talking at all, and I have noticed she has been getting up less frequently. I have also tried telling her I am going to take something away every time she gets out of bed. That has seemed to work for me. Good luck!

Oh man...I feel for ya. I have the EXACT situation (except fot the pull-up) but she still uses the potty thing as an excuse to fight going to sleep. We've tried EVERYTHING, from crying it out, reasoning, bargaining and even bribing...she will not go to sleep and fights the entire "going to be" process. The only part she likes is reading books. We've had the same routine since she was born and it's always been a fight. She constantly is sneaking around and when I find her out of bed, I take away a privledge, like her nightlight, etc. It's terrible...and very stressful. I dread bedtime and I can't figure out how other parents get their kids to go to sleep at 8pm. My 3 1/2 yr old will lay there for up to 3 hours sometimes. Last night she was in bed at 8:30, and FINALLY sleeping at 11pm. For a month, we tried putting her to bed at 7pm, thinking she was overtired, but she just layed there for even longer than normal. We even tried cutting out naps for a month with no good outcomes. I'm sad for your situation, but glad to know that we're not the only ones that struggle with this. My only saving grace is that she is advanced in everything she does so that tells me she's getting the sleep she needs,...but I struggle with it because sleep is sooo important. Some kids I guess just don't require as much as others. I'll be watching the comments for suggestions, although I'm pretty sure we've tried everything already, I'm desperate too...so I'll try anything at this point. Good luck to you. :)

Since your daughter NEEDS a nap during the day, change it to a morning nap. Then all the playing she does will tire her out and she will go down easier at night. When my daughter was that age I got rid of one of her naps, and luckily I chose the afternoon nap, I only rarely had issues getting her to stay in bed. My sister in law however cut out her sons morning nap and she always had problems keeping him in bed.

If you put panties on her and she uses the potty excuse, tell her she needs to hold it for a little bit before you let her get up. (I could always tell when it was just an excuse to get up.) I would use that and my daughter would cry if she actually had to go, so I would come back in about a minute and tell her she can go now...You just have to stay firm in your rules and DON'T WAVER ONE INCH! With kids, if you give them an inch, they take a mile.

Both of my children do this. I started by just ignoring them and keep putting them in there room It took alot of effort So that didnt work so now we read a store and have 15 minutes quite time (either rubbing heads or backs) Then I would sit in there room till they fell asleep Then every night I would move farther and farther away I also took out everything in there room till they could stay put in there bed It took about 2 weeks to get them to finally stay put Be strong and just keep up with a routine

I have had the same problem with my 3 1/2 year old twins (yep, think of your problems times 2) Since I got to the ripping-my-hair-out feeling about a month ago, I can at least let you know what I've been doing now. I usually still have them go into their bedroom unless they have gotten up in the morning sometime after 8:30. Then I don't make them go to bed. They are transitioning to no naps, which is a HORRIBLE transition, I know. Sometimes they go to bed for the night at 6:30 and sometimes if attitudes allow they go to bed around 8:30 at might. And sometimes if they are really sassy I will let them cry it out in their rooms even if it's 4 or 5 in the afternoon and they usually fall asleep at that point, but don't let her sleep for longer than 45 minutes otherwise she'll be up way past when you want to go to bed. I don't know if any of that will help, but at least you know that there is someone else who is having the same problems!!

I have a daughter the same age and am dealing with the same thing. Most nights now have gotten better once I started remaining completely calm when putting her back to bed. I had to sit next to her bed at first until she fell asleep for the first week or so. She couldn't get out of bed if I was there. I moved closer and closer to the door during the next week or so and eventually I was sitting outside the door where she couldn't see me. If she got up I would know and would put her calmly right back to bed. It has become more routine and less of a struggle. It means I commit an hour or two to getting her to bed each night. I also reward her the next day for a night of not getting out of bed. I don't tell her when I put her to bed that she will get a reward but surprise her with something fun to do, Zoo, Children's Museum, ect. You know that promises are easier to break and less fun than a good surprise.

Hi there,

I have the exact same problem with my almost 4 year old daughter, Cheyanne. I have tried every idea people give me & she always comes in my room looking to sleep with me every nite--except the last few days. I got bunkbeds & my other daughter Breannah sleeps very well ever since she has been born, she is 5 1/2--but I put her on the bottom & my Cheyanne on the top bunk & now she wont come down in the middle of the night for fear of falling or too tired to climb down the ladder so I think I may have cured my issue (for now). But I tried the star board & that worked for about a week. I tried to excite her with going to the dollar store on Fridays IF she did well sleeping thru the week--but she gave up on that..? Another thing that worked before x-mas was telling her that Santa would not be able to find her & bring her any presents unless she slept in her bed every night & she did the whole month of Dec. But slowly stared to wake me up 4-5 times a night with her questions, etc..Then I did same thing with the Easter bunny & that barley worked for a week or so. So maybe these ideas are something you could work with or try--they are all different(kids) but ours sound very similar..? I cannot get either one of my daughters to sleep in panties thru the night--I think I let them go tooo long in the pull-ups & now I cant get them out. I have tried alot of ideas with that---but its either pull-ups or 2 beds of laundry for me a day & that gets very old very quick..I need help on the pull-ups issue too!

J.,
It sounds like a frustrating situation. I would probably choose not to nap my child if that kept him/her up until 10:00, but that's because I'm a morning person and way too tired to be dealing with children that late at night! However, I can totally relate. We had the same situation. My son also thought he was through napping, but his daily mood told me otherwise. I put one of those plastic, round door knob covers over my son's bedroom door handle. This actually meant changing his long handle to a round one so the device would fit. It worked like a charm. Clearly this does not solve what goes on in the bedroom, but it does keep them in. I have recommended this to friends and it worked for them as well.

I hope this helps. If you try it, you'll have to let me know. Good luck.
K. B.