I have some of the same issues you have, we have 7 children in a modest 4 bedroon house, 2 rooms in the basement, those are used by my oldest 4 and two on the main level, my husbands room and then my six and 3 year old share a room, the livivng room is where me and the baby stay, it allows my husband to get his sleep (he works 10-12 hour days 6-7 days a week) and I don't have to worry as much about everyone being woken up and allows me to move a little bit more freely, the baby is 16 months old know and I still sleep this way, I find for me that getting up at night isn't so bad so long as I am not feeling the added pressure of waking everyone else up in the house.
One thing you could consider is moving you and your husband out of your room and placing the baby in thier until you have her night time situation resolved, I do not believe in allowing a little one to cry it out, there is always going to be a little crying, but I would first try to understand why it is she is crying, they don't cry for no reason. Feed her a little more at night and maybe try pumping and start her on a night bottle, instead of nursing, this will also help her find her independence at night, that is the best I can give good luck, it won't happen over night it takes time.