Need More Info on Cry Out Method

I like how Rachel explained it. She did essentially what I did. You have to remember(even with opposition from other Moms)that this is not punishment or torture. It is part of your dicipline routine raising your child. Discipline is not punishment it is guiding your child to the ultimate goal of self discipline. Mom's believe that they are harming their child somehow by letting them cry it out. These Mom's are expressing their opinion which is their right but it is not based upon facts and it should not scare you. When a child achieves independence at night by soothing and comforting themselves back to sleep...this is a HUGE accomplishment for the child and carries over into all that they do in their lives. This means that after the crying it out, they discover that "oh my, my Mom still loves me and comes back to see me in the morning" and they will also feel this way when you leave them at school or a sitters, etc. Crying at night is a form of separation anxiety. It is perfectly normal but doesn't mean that it has to rule your life and cause physical symptoms in the parents due to lack of sleep. It worked great with both of my boys. The first night it took 45 minutes of crying, the second night 10 minutes, and the third night 2 minutes. Periodically they will try to cry again to test you but you have to stay strong and let them go! No one said being a Mom is easy and sometimes the hardest things that we have to do are the very best things for them. Good Luck.

We used a truncated Ferber method. Here's a link to the Ferber method explained: http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified... Our pediatrician, Dr. Todd Wolynn, is a sleep specialist, his is a truncated Ferber method. This is what he advises in a nutshell:

Have a pre-bed time routine, say goodnight, lay child down still awake, walk out even if screaming and crying, close door (mainly to muffle the sound) or put up a gate on the door and do not return. This might mean hours of screaming on the first few nights. For nap time, limit it to one hour, after one hour the nap is over even if child screamed the whole time. At night, child will eventually fall asleep, trust me, even if it's several hours, by the 3rd-4th night it will work like a charm! When child wakes unexpectantly during the night or nap, wait five minutes (will seem like an eternity). After 5 mintues, go in and calmly check to make sure nothing is wrong (diaper dry, not sick, or tangled in blankets) do not pick child up to calm or do more than is necessary to assess well being of child. Once you've established child is ok, tell her, "go back to sleep, I love you, I'll be right downstairs (or where ever you'll be)." Walk out of room and close the door, leave her scream until she goes back to bed an falls asleep. Most important thing is do no give in, if you give and inch you will lose a mile of progress.

Sounds awful, but trust me it is worth it. The hardest part was fighting with my husband about sticking to the plan while we listened to the screaming. It's awful to listen to screaming and choose to do nothing. Just remember, doing nothing is doing something when it comes to sleep training!

Dr. Wolynn's method worked great for us. Our son (2 1/2) is sharing a bed room with our daughter (9 months) and we've haven't been following the method lately because my husband didn't want our son waking the baby. We have a gate on the door to their room. We would go in over and over to put him back in his bed at bed time. So last night, we decided to go back to the cry it out, even if it wakes our daughter because they both will have to learn to go back to sleep on their own. We are in night 2 of letting our son cry and it was much shorter tonight. Thankfully our daughter is staying quiet in her crib, even though big brother is screaming his head off- shrieking and crying "mommy" "daddy". Fingers crossed tomorrow will be the last night of it!

I use a modified cry it out for both of my children. (son-5 & daughter-15 months). We have an established bedtime routine. At this point, my daughter is actually better than my son. I take her into her room with the light on & check/change her diaper just before bed. While doing that I tell her that it's time for bed. During the summer she has an AC unit in her room, which I turn on & tell her again that it's time for "night-night". I typically cuddle/hug her for a minute or two & then lay her on her back in the crib with her pacifier (usually we keep it in her crib). I cover her with her blanket & reiterate that I love her & it's time for bed. Then I turn out her light & leave. She rarely cries at that point. However, if she wakes up during the night b/c she's thirsty or has lost her pacifier, I go in (hall lights, but no lights on in the bedroom). I make sure that she has her pacifier. If she has that, but it fussy anyway, I pick her up & ask her what's wrong. Typically, she's just thirsty & needs a drink. If that's the case, I carry her down the hall to the bathroom with me & get her drink. Then I tell her that we have to go back to bed & that I love her. Lay her in the crib & she's usually fine.
I will pray that you & your baby can quickly adjust to peaceful bedtime/naptime routines. :)

Hi Larissa,
I guess you really have to give some thought to this before you begin to decide exactly how you will go about it. I never had the resolve to just let him cry for hours until he fell asleep. This is what I did with my son:
1. Do a standard bedtime routine. (Maybe bath, snack, brush teeth, book, prayer.)
2. Put her in her bed at the same time every night.
3. Tell her it's time for her to go to sleep. (Leave on nightlight, music, whatever you normally do)
4. Kiss her, tell her goodnight and leave the room.
5. If (when) she cries, go in after 10 minutes and comfort her but do NOT pick her up.
5. Gradually increase the time between comfort trips (15 min, 20 min) until she is asleep
6. Vîola! done.
Be warned that this will be about 4 VERY intense and tiring nights but it will work. If she is NOT in a crib and can get out of her room, consider gating the doorway.
Really, you will be giving your daughter a great gift of putting herself to sleep and learning to be comfortable doing just that.
Good luck to you!

I was terrified about trying the "cry-it-out" method but thank God I did. My daughter was about 13 months old when I finlly did it. Our house was being renovated at the time so we were staying at my parents house. I was so tired (because I was nursing her and sleeping with her ) but I'd had enough, I was starting to wean her off breastfedding and I wanted to sleep with my husband again. Period. But I didn't want her to feel as if I were abandoning her or something. But my mom told me to just do it. She said "she'll cry less and less each night, but u need to stick to your guns. Don't go in when she cries. You know she's in her crib and safe. She can't cry all night". And she was right. It took about 2 weeks to get her to go in without any crying and now she sleep like a champ. She's happy when i put her down for naps and bed time (It's been about 6 months). You just need to remember it'll be okayand this is something millions of parents have to go thru. It's ok, you're not a bad, neglectful parent. Some things in life just suck but in the end you'll be helping both of you.

L.,

I think you received wonderful advice from some of these moms. I too have twins, but luckily started a strict sleep regime earlier, about 8 months old.

Anyway, my one son never slept, so my friend told me about her "sleep bible", the book, Healthy sleep Habits, Happy Child.
It really worked for me.
Basically the gist of the book was that naturally, babies need to be in bed at night between 6pm- 8pm, no later.
Then, they can be fed a drink of milk before bed to soothe them. I still do it, my doctor said it is fine, if it soothes my kids, then still give them their milk at night.

Anyway, they will sleep until at least 6pm. if they wake up earlier (unless they are wet, sick, etc) don't go to them. Go in the room at 6am the earliest.

We do breakfast between 6:30- 7 am, then lunch at 10:45, and down for a nap at 11:30 the latest.

They sleep until 2! Don't let them sleep past 3pm b/c then it will throw off their sleep schedule.

But the book gives you advice for each age.
As for the crying, this is what the Dr. suggests, and I will swear by it.
He says to do the same ritual each nap time, and then at night, have a nightly ritual before bed.
For example: bottle, or milk given to baby propped up in crib, with music playing. Then when he is finished you can hold him for a minute(burp, whatever) and I kiss him goodnight, then put him to sleep.
I do have a fan blowing for noise with the classical lullabies playing.
I leave the room and don't come back. If your child screams, please ignore it for no more than an hour. B/c by then, he won't sleep for his nap, and take him out. But keep trying.
My son only cried for 20 minutes (which seemed forever) the first night.
The next day 10, then the third day 2 minutes.
He now reads his little book in his crib and falls asleep on his own. I love it! Some days he won't sleep at all, just talks, but I leave him there for my sanity.

good luck and def. get that book.
T.