9 Month, Not Sleeping Very Well

Updated on April 04, 2008
C.Z. asks from Annville, PA
6 answers

I am having a horrible time getting my 9 month old to sleep through the night. She still requires a swaddler to go down, if not she flares her arms and gets mad, not upset, but mad. Or she will just sit up and start playing with the bars on her crib or the mesh on her pack and play. I know I should try the cry it out method, but the problem is we live in an apartment with people all around us. She is a loud cryer too. I still have to nurce her to sleep. Now she will sleep ok for about 3-4 hours then wakes up. most of the time she twitches, so i then unswaddle her and hope she doesn't wake up(most of the time she does)Once she is awake, she is REALLY awake. I will nurce her and she'll start to fall asleep, but wakes right back up when i put her down in her crib. She will sleep better if she's in bed with us, but i know that's not good. We are having such a hard time with this. Not only are my husband and i always fighting and not sleeping, i am worried that my daughter isn't getting enough sleep. So if any of your out there have any ideas, i really would love your help. thank you

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R.O.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We used a truncated Ferber method. Here's a link to the Ferber method explained: http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified... I don't think any sleep training is recommended until 4/6 months of age. Our pediatrician, Dr. Todd Wolynn, is a sleep specialist, his is a truncated Ferber method. This is what he advises in a nutshell:

Have a pre-bed time routine, say goodnight, lay baby down still awake, walk out even if screaming and crying, close door (mainly to muffle the sound) and do not return. This might mean hours of screaming on the first night. For nap time, limit it to one hour, after one hour the nap is over even if baby screamed the whole time. At night, baby will eventually fall asleep, trust me, even if its' several hours, by the 3rd-4th night it will work like a charm! When baby wakes unexpectantly during the night or nap, wait five minutes (will seem like an eternity). After 5 mintues, go in and calmly check to make sure nothing is wrong (diaper dry, not sick, or tangled in blankets) do not pick baby up to calm or do more than is necessary to assess well being of baby. Once you've established baby is ok, tell baby, "go back to sleep, I love you, I'll be right downstairs (or where ever you'll be)." Walk out of room and close the door, leave baby scream until he/she falls asleep.

Sounds awful, but trust me it is worth it. The hardest part was fighting with my husband about sticking to the plan while we listened to the screaming. It's awful to listen to your baby scream and choose to do nothing. Just remember, doing nothing is doing something when it comes to sleep training!

Dr. Wolynn's method worked great for us. We have a 2 1/2 year old and we could just lay him down and he would go to sleep. Our 5 1/2 month old is doing it now. She's doing great!

As far as your neighbors, put her to bed around 7:30 PM, even if she crys a lot, the worst won't be in the middle of the night. And if she cries all night, trust us, it will only be 3-4 nights, by the time your neighbors get around to complaining, she'll be sleeping through the night!

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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

Hi C.,
I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. The cry it out method is hard to deal with, that is why my husband and I haven't done it yet. Our 2 1/2 year old is a light sleeper so when the baby (9 mo) cries, we immediately bring her into bed with us. When we wake in the morning, neither of us is well rested and our backs ache. Eventually though, we will do this cry it out because it works. We did it with our son and he sleeps fine now. You've just got to pick a time that will work for your situation, and then, make sure you get ear plugs and turn on some soothing music or read a book. Its the only way you'll be able to get through it. Also, don't forget, once you start, don't give in or all of that hard work/suffering will have been for naught. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Scranton on

Hi C.,

My daughter is almost 8 months old and she is still nursing twice a night sometimes 3. I can't do the CIO method. It breaks my heart to hear her scream. She also gets really stuffed up when she cries because she is teething so it makes it hard for her to breathe when she does stop crying. She is sleeping in her crib now. We used to bring her into bed but I stopped that about a week ago. I just stand there with her and pat her and shush her until she gets tired and falls asleep. I don't pick her up but just stand there with her so she knows that I'm there. It's working so far. It's much easier on me. Good luck

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L.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi C.,
just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. my 9 month old is having a lot of difficulties sleeping and is up several tiems a night to nurse as well. We also don't really want to try CIO, but we are at the point where we feel we have no choice.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi C.,
I think you should try letting her cry it out. I understand your concerns about your neighbors, but most likely, it will bother you more than it will bother them. It usually only takes a few (3-4) nights so that's really not too bad. Let her cry, check on her every 10 minutes or so. DON'T pick her up but comfort her & repeat. It will seem like forever but it will only take about half a week. You will be doing her a big favor by teaching her how to calm herself and out herself to bed. And think how happy (and rested!) you both will be when this is all over! Good luck.

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F.V.

answers from Lancaster on

We were against the cry it out method until nothing else worked and realized that my son knew how to get a reaction out of us and a lot of his bottle 'needing' or swaddling was habit. Go to your neighbors and just briefly exlpain to them that there may be a few nights of crying as you are doing what you need to do. Your neighbors will understand, especially if they are parents :0) My husband and I were always fighting and never getting sleep and catering to my sons every whine. Not anymore and he is a happy, growing SLEEPING toddler. It only took 3 nights and now he sleeps 11-12 hours every night (unless sick I do not reccomend crying it out-make sure baby is healthy and not sick or in teething pain). It does work and it is NOT cruel to do. You have to break habits that you have created. Good luck!
Chris

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