Need Reassurance from Other Co-sleeping Moms That This Is Normal

J.,

Good for YOU!! I am a co-sleeper with a 2 year old, and the benefits are amazing. However, when you get to this age/stage it can be tougher because the growth spurts mean more need for nutrition and also, she may be teething and the sucking helps ease the gums.

First, I would try to nurse her as long as possible without letting her fall completely asleep and see how long that takes. Usually my son would fall asleep while feeding, and then wake up in a very short time to feed again. Once, I started doing things to keep him awake while feeding the last night feeding before bed...like rubbing his cheek or just talking to him...he'd feed for a longer period and then got used to feeding until full and then only waking up when hungry, which was usually every couple of hours to three hours.

If it's teething, check her gums by rubbing on them to see if you feel any teeth breaking through...you may want to invest in some Hyland's Homeopathic Drops or tablets to keep on hand. My son started teething at four months, and broke his first tooth at five months and the drops helped him get a more restful sleep in between feeding on demand.

Don't worry, this is all totally normal. I went through a month or two were I was wondering if I was doing something wrong. We got past it, and had about a month of calm before the next phase when we started solids at around five months!!

This is a huge learning experience for you AND your little girl...just keep doing what you're doing and everything will be just fine.

Best of luck to you!!

my husband and I have co-slept with all of our children and plan to do so with the new coming baby. after the results i've seen from my kids, i am a true believer in co-sleeping and attachment parenting.

i think you're exactly right when you say that she may be going through a growth spurt or developmental milestone--spoken like a professional. here's another website that might give you a little more assurance and understanding. (btw, i did experience nights where it seemed like she just ate all night. so you're not alone.)

http://drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

I nursed and co-slept with both my kids.

Yes, this is normal.. .she appears to be "cluster-feeding" which means she is hitting milestones/growth spurts, or not getting enough intake.

This is the nature of breastfeeding... sometimes they even nurse every hour.

At any growth spurt or developmental change, they often get hungrier, and for the first year, feeding on demand is still recommended. Our Pediatrician says this as well.

Well so lack of sleep for Mommy is a given. Anytime my kids were changing or growing, they fed all the time. It will pass until the next growth spurt.

Also, sometimes they do this if they are ill or not feeling well or getting sick. So keep that in mind too.

take care,
Susan

Its normal. By 'All' night do you mean every two hours? She is probably having a growth spurt. Don't worry - she is only four months old and she really does know what she needs. You are not creating bad habits or anything of the like. Though, I would like to make sure that during the day if she is overstimulated, upset (and all of her needs are met) that nursing and/or pacifiers are not used to shut down any crying she may have to do. If she is being nursed to stop her from crying or being 'fussy' during the day then that would be a different conversation.

All the best,
C. Marks

I am a co-sleeper. She is now 3. I recommend putting the baby in her crib. It is hard and there is a fuss but it will be better to do it now than latter.
If you choose to co-sleep, you will be feeding on demand. She wants your comfort at that time and she will continue to wake you unless you part yourselves at night.
I wish you luck in your choice. It will be what will work for you and your family.

Hi J.,

I co-sleep with my 13 mo old, have since birth and have strickly breast-fed. IT IS wonderful....however, trying to wean from breast and have him sleep in crib thru the night is a nightmare. I'm not going to discourage you from co-sleeping...I still love it, but I will say, you have to be willing to be sleep deprived. We (my husband mostly) got him in the crib and sleeping thru the night, down to one feeding, and then he got a cold. So all that hard work, down the drain. We are back to co-sleeping with him on the boobie, most of the night. I need to stop nursing soon and am dreading the struggle I'm up against. Part of me wishes that I had put him in the crib sooner, another is like oh well. Husbands are the key here...they don't smell like milk!

Good Luck to you,
E.

Right around four months old, my son's sleeping patterns changed, too. So for all I know, it's probably normal. It probably has to do with growth and/or developmental spurts. In our case, teething was starting with a vengeance...
Now he has a cold and I feel like I nursed more than I slept last night... thankfully, he sleeps right next to me!

Hi J.,

Co-sleeping is the best isn't it! I can't imagine not being able to just reach over and feel my babies breathing. I sleep so much better with them right there! I am pregnant with my fourth and my 3RD is still in bed with us, instead of giving her the boot we are just adding a bed to make it bigger!

It is very posible she is going through a growth spurt. Or fighting a bug. Out of all my kids I had all diferent nursers. One would go 4 hours one went two and one nursed all night. The one thing you might try is attempt to get her to drain both sides completely burp and get a dry diaper so she is full and comfy and she isn't just waking up for little snacks all night or a wet diaper bothering her. Remember this to shall pass. I like to remind myself we only have 18 summers with our kids. Time flys by and I know those tough nights are so brutal. Hang in there you are doing an AWESOME job!!!! And I am so glad you won't CIO! Don't let anyone tell you you should. I believe ALL that does is teach babies I don't want to help you through this so figure it out on your own! YUK!! All the best!

Smiles!
S.

sounds like you're doing great! My son,8 mo., has co slept with me and has gone through a couple of those nights,so prepare for more. He's a healthy boy that has endured many growth spurts and 6 teeth already! Being there has been great for everyone! I think we're all trying to find more sleep...some times you get it, sometimes not. Everything is normal and healthy. I found around 6 mo. that I was needing a little more space plus my son was moving so much that I introduced his crib during nap times. It works 50% of the time,which is OK too. So, let this growth spurt or teething episode lapse and re-evaluate what you all need, you'll probably get your sleep tonight. Congrats! A.

Hi J.,
I did the co-sleeping with both my children, now 7 & 4.
There definitely were periods of less sleep during growth spurts. I found that napping when baby naps is very important! I also was not able to do the CIO method, though many people tried to convince me otherwise.
I am sooooo happy that I listened to my "instincts" and heart and did have the special bonding time with my children.
I do not regret a minute of it, because, their "baby days" are over now, and children grow up too fast as it is.
Cherish EVERY moment, before you know it, she'll be a toddler, then preschooler, then bigger, bigger, bigger.
So, my advice....take naps! We still do, and we are rarely sick too! When you're tired, go lay down. As long as your daughter is having plenty of wet diapers, you know she is getting lots of milk. The freedom to enjoy the special time with your baby, is not going to happen again. Relax and enjoy.
Blessings.....C.

I have always co-slept with my now 2 yr old. It seems normal to eat extra when they are experiencing a growth spurt. I remember when my daughter would nurse every 30 minutes through some nights. Only suggestion that I have is to let her nurse as long as she can to fill her maybe then she would sleep longer. Good luck!

my son did that on and off from the begining. My doc felt that as long as his weight was healthy and he seemed to be thriving that it is fine, hard on the Mommie but ok for the baby. I spent many nights awake because I couldn't lay him down at all. He wanted to be held and nursed. Now he is a wonderful 19 month old who is self assured and WANTS to sleep in his own bed! Thank goodness because he is pretty mean with the elbows while he sleeps. He'll be quite the basketball player!! Bottom line follow your instinct. You have it for a reason! Trust it fully.

I am responding to Amy in this thread.
I don't want to make you feel badly, we all have to do what is best for our family. BUT, it is not conventionally accepted that babies have already built up basic trust at 4 months of age. Psychologically speaking, Erickson spoke of this JUST starting at 9 months, Piaget later. I have to dissagree with your comment that All pediatricians feel that this is accomplished at 4 months. My pretty traditional dr used to say "you cannot spoil a baby in the first year"
It was his way of letting us scared parents know that our instincts to NOT let them cry it out were OK

Growth spurt! Just feel good thru the sleep deprivation knowing that you are providing exactly what your dd needs, when she needs it!! I would also like to give you the name of a book I could NOT have lived without for nursing both of my boys. It gives SO much useful information about growth spurt time lines (so you know when to expect it and that it IS normal) a whole section on medication safety in breastfeeding in case that comes up (it will)etc. It is skewed towards a co-sleeping, long term nursing type lifestyle. It is called The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins. You can read reviews and more info here: http://www.amazon.com/Nursing-Mothers-Companion-Revised/d...

I'm a mother of 3 kids ages 12, 6 and 4 months. I am a huge believer in co sleeping. my 12 year old slept with me until he was 4, and the 6 year old slept with me up until July when my daughter was born. My 4 month old feeds on demand all night long, some nights are better than others. I love that she is always by my side, as I truly believe babies need that love and comfort. Good luck, and keep up the great work!!! P.S. As with anything, you must do what works for your family.

Wow that seems so long ago but my 17 month old twins have coslept with us since birth. I do remember there were a few times when one wanted to nurse all night long then after a few days I got so tired that I would fall asleep with him feeding. From what I can remember it was during a growth period that they would do that than again when teething around 6 months. I did get up a walk around to try to calm them and get their mind offof feeding. It goes by fast but when your not sleeping it is hard. So few people get to experience the precious sleeping face throughout the night. I would not trade it for anything even a few sleepless nights. As they got bigger we added a twin size bed next to ours and that has helped us all sleep alot better. We also introduced them to water at night around 12 months. Enjoy your little guy they wont stay that tiny long.

Hi, J.!

My son was co-sleeping with us until we decided to employ the methods of The Happiest Baby On The Block and let him sleep in his own room. However, he is almost 4 months, and now does the same thing when he sleeps with us. I love to sleep near him, but at the same time he spends so much time up nursing that he and I end up with little sleep. It's a bad combo! =)

Anyway, it seems like this is just something that happens. I read that it is a result of the baby becoming aware of his/her surroundings, realizing there is food nearby at all times, and that the smell of mom/milk will rouse a baby from sleep to nurse, no matter what. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything else you can do.

We are trying to wean our child off of his sleep aids from the book, and I am also trying to avoid CIO as much as possible. However, all pediatricians agree that at this age they already have the feeling of safety and security instilled in them, so letting them cry themselves to sleep and self-soothe is not only not traumatizing but helpful to them in the long run become independent and strong individuals. Besides, you give your daughter love and care during the day, so she knows you are there when she really needs you.

If I get any good responses from my request of how to wean off the sleep aids and get my son to sleep on his own/put himself to sleep, I will let you know. =)

Probably a growth spurt. It soon will pass. Just when I think my DD will never get through a phase, it passes and a new one begins. The only thing constant with a baby is change lol. Good for you for co-sleeping. There is nothing like snuggling with your baby all night long.

Hi J.,
My second son was born on August 8 two days after your little girl and we have been co-sleeping since when he was born and also with my 23 month old with my husband and i think it is absolutely normal i would like my older son to sleep in his bed but for now its okay and at that stage it seemed like i was nursing my baby every hr or so but i normal i am the type once he wants to eat, i just nurse while we both go back to sleep and by the time i wake up its time to nurse on the other side which seems like every hr or so. I think its normal i like to sleep without having to wake up to make a bottle and i'm sure you like that comfort also.
Keep doing what your doing it sounds like your baby is just fine with nursing as much as she needs.
good luck
M.

J.,
I agree with what most of the other moms said. However, I would add this. Having co-slept with all 3 of my children, I found the 4-month old stage to be difficult, not because of a growth spurt, but because that is when they all started teething. They wanted to nurse all night long! Apparently it is very soothing for their gums. It passes, though, so don't give up. Hyland's teething tablets are all natural and soothing on the gums, so we tried giving those to the babies before bedtime. It helped with all the night nursing. I'd say it just about cut it in half. If you can take care of the gum discomfort, they will only wake for actual hunger. Good luck!

My 4YO is usually in bed with me. But, last night she made it through in her own bed. However, some how my 5YO was in bed with us.

My oldest was in our room until about 4. My 2nd daughter we were "good" with. She never slept in our bed, even when she was sick she didn't because she wasn't accustomed to it.

We see a huge difference in maturity and bond. We struggle with our 2nd child the most.

So, if it's what a child needs to assure them of their relationship with their parents, then for us, we feel that's what we should provide.

Hi J.,

I think its interesting that you answered your own question. Just confirms how right and true your mommy instincts are... I agree w/ all the other responses and just wanted to say that for the first year I spent a lot of time on line looking at the pros and cons of cosleeping. This past year, I've just enjoyed it. You will probably get more AND less sleep than your crib sleeping baby peers, but all babies fluctuate so much, esp the first year. I've found the benefits of cosleeping, as we're now in the toddler years, HUGE and noticeable to others. If this is something you enjoy and is working for you, I can't recommend it enough.

Best to you!!!!

Jen

Dear J.:

I really don't have anything different to add...you got some great answers! I'm a big believer in co-sleeping. You are right there if the baby needs a little extra due to developmental reasons or if they're battling a bug of some sort. In any case, you grow closer and baby grows more secure. What a wonderful scenario!

I just want to encourage you to keep it up and not give up on the best thing I ever stumbled into! My daughter will be thirteen in a couple of months and she is still such a cuddly, warm and loving person...and still, incredibly confident and secure! Enjoy your lovely daughter!

Best wishes,

M.

i have a soon to be four month old and he has been doing the same thing... it seems to go on for a few days and then he is back to his normal eating/sleeping patterns. i tried to just get up with him and rock him back to sleep but he just really seemed to want to nurse. i think it must be a growth spurt because he seems to go back and forth. good luck.

J.,
Congrats on your new baby. Our son slept with us and he now sleeps in a toddler bed next to our bed. My newborn sleeps in his bassinet and will go to his crib when he's ready.
I also nursed my oldest until he was 2 1/2, something to think about if you're nursing and co-sleeping, it's hard to get them to stop if they're right there with you in the bed!
Anyway, I am just here to say that everything you wrote sounds right and normal to me. I would increase the feedings during the day, maybe that might help her relax more at night. Maybe try cutting her naps a little short and get her to eat more during the day. Also, you could give her an ounce or 2 of formula (sorry I used the F word, I know how it might sound to a nursing mother to suggest such a thing) I used it occasionally with both my boys and they both nurse/ed. (my oldest just stopped nursing in May, when I was 4 months pregnant.) Just keep nursing and don't let your little girl cry if she's hungry.
Good luck!

I have been co-sleeping with my son since birth and he just turned 1 today, I also nursed on command and up until a few weeks ago still did. He only breast feeds now about 3 times a day. I found co-sleeping wonderful and a lot easier on me and my sleeping. They do grow rapidly, especially at 4 months and sometimes tend to need to nurse for hunger or comfort. Either way, there is nothing wrong with it at all. You need to do what feels right to you. If it's too much at times you can always pump and give her a bottle to give yourself a break. I hope you find this helpful. Good luck and congrats on your baby girl!!

I have an 11 month old daughter who has been co sleeping with us since birth. Most likely its a growth spurt. This happens a lot before the age of 7 months and seems as if you will never get any sleep. But you will! My daughter sleeps through the night, and this didn't start until the age of 8 months. She was growing and needing more calories... she was too busy through out the day- and teething didn't help either. So give it a week or two... hang in there..

it is sooo refreshing to hear you are nursing and cosleeping. we have a family bed with our son who is almost 4 and our 17 mo old daughter. it can be tough at times but it is so good for them- and you. there will be different patterns so just hang in there. i nursed my son till he was 25 months old and i was his pacifier. when he was about 20 mo., i told him that he could no longer nurse at night. he understood and began sleeping through the night. i know it seems like an eternity but they really do grow up so fast and before you know it, she will not need to pacify like she is. i hope it is helpful to know that what you are going through is normal.
T.

I had 4 who all went thru periods of marathon nursing. It is normal just very hard on mom. It did seem to correspond with growth spurts and hitting milestones.
I can only remind you that you are doing a wonderful thing for your child by constantly being there for her and nurturing her throughout the night.
Try to keep life simple for now, she is only tiny for a brief period of time so cherish it and hang in there!!!!

J.,

It is really normal and is most likely a growth spurt. When a baby starts nursing endlessly they are stimulating your body to increase your milk supply. If you haven't mastered nursing laying down, now would be a good time to practice.

Also, around 4 months, babies get more interested and aware of the envirnonment around them. So many need more comfort at this stage. End result is still the same, it will increase your milk supply which is always a good thing.

:-)T.

I know you already received a lot of comments but thought I would add one. I have two daughters ages 2 and 4. I co-slept with both of them for 8 months and loved it. People used to give me a hard time about it and I don't know why. It was the most amazing, wonderful experience and I don't regret it one bit. It is such a short period of time - I really miss it! My girls are both great sleepers on their own of course now. My first would nurse constantly (like I was a pacifier) but it just worked for us. I say keep doing what feels right and when the time comes for you to move her to her own room you might want to try Weiselbluth's Healthy child, healthy sleep book for some support/advice. G.

sounds to me like she's just oging through a growth spurt. my son was like that for about a week. this to shall pass.

Sounds normal to me, I don't co-sleep with my son. My little guy went through a big growth spurt at 4 months old, as well as achieved the milestone of rolling over. There's also a big brain development around this age too, if I recall correctly. It could also be teething; my son always nursed like crazy when new teeth were coming in. Hang in there...there's more fun to come! Congratulations on your little one!