Need Some Advice for My 9 Yr. Old

Please don't! If she thinks she can sing let her go for it! They may tell her how she can learn to sing better if thats something she really wants to do. The worst thing to do would be to tell her "don't try you'll fail" either literally or in a round about way. If you stifle her desire to try she'll quit trying to do anything thinking "she'll fail why bother".
Believe me, my mom tried that approach with me to "protect" me and I learned not to try. But grew up to realize it's ok if I fail at least I tried. Just take her out for ice cream or someting if it doesn't go well!

It really depends on the school and the talent show.

My son and two friends performed in their talent show in 2nd grade, and they were -- objectively speaking -- terrible. And yet, no one laughed, and it was a great experience for my son. It was one of the things that happened that spring that changed his view of himself from a shy person to a brave person, and increased his self-confidence.

One buddy whacked the drums, another strummed tunelessly on an electric guitar, and my son sang an entire song by Green Day. It was awesome. It is a cherished memory in my family.

I don't think you should ask her not to. Even if she stinks, it takes a lot of guts to get up in front of an audience and perform. And even if she were booed off the stage she will get a chance to deal with rejection which is a good thing. But she will not get booed, people will understand that she is a kid and they will clap and cheer for her. It will boost her self-esteem.

Let her try. This may be something she will never forget. Never put a limit on your children's talent it will only hurt her in the long run and leave her upset with you not knowing what could have happened if she had gone. Even if she isn't good it's a great experience.

I am a mother of 2 daughters 6 & 9, so I decided to ask them their advice. They both suggested that your daughter find a friend to sing with her. If she can't find someone to sing with her or she really wants to do it alone, they said she should still sing in the talent show.

If it is anything like the talent show at my daughters' elementary school, you will see all types of talent and ablity levels. I think your daughter sounds like a really brave girl with a great attitude.

Hi, Gina! I'm a music teacher and also direct an auditioned group of 50 second- and third-graders in my community. In my experience, auditions at this age have very little to do with musical ability. When I open the door to the audition room and have another child walk in to that room, I can see in their eyes how much courage it takes to step out of their comfort zone and sing in front of me. The vast majority of teachers are going to be extremely encouraging and point out the positive points of a child's performance, even if they don't get chosen for the part. It's all about building confidence and skill for the next time.

Please consider letting your daughter audition! She will take that thrill and fear with her into job interviews and other areas of life and it's great to start that learning process of how to "shake it off" if it's a disappointing result. If you have specific concerns about the teacher that will be running the talent show, I suggest you set up a meeting with him or her and find out exactly how seriously they're going to take this. My guess would be, in our American Idol-obsessed world, they're going to be the "Paula" instead of the "Simon" when it comes to judging the auditions!!

I would definitely let her do it! My oldest daughter has similar vocal "handicap" but LOVES to sing. You don't want to squelch that joy or discourage her. This is an opportunity to encourage confidence in your daughter. My advice is to steer her towards a song that does not require much vocal range by suggesting it is a better fit for her voice. Never let on that you think she can't sing well, only that we all have different abilities. If you watch American Idol at all, consider Brooke, who doesn't really have a stand-out voice, but chooses songs that she can handle.
And keep in mind that most of the kids trying out for an elementary school talent show are just in it for the fun. All the kids at that level should be included.

Good luck.

I think you should let her try out. It's too early to know that she won't be able to sing. Some kids do have a natural talent for it but some can do pretty well by training their voice and ears so don't discourage her if that's what she loves. I think it's more important to encourage her to try out for as many different kinds of things as possible. She will be surprised to find she enjoys something unexpected and her confidence at being able to do many different things will grow. She will learn to be brave in front of people and actually even enjoy it. At the age of 9, both kids and adults aren't as hard on each other as they often are by middle school/junior high years so if there ever was a time to try out for something, the younger, the better. Be positive when you talk to her about it because her confidence will help her to do even better. Tell her that not every one gets picked and sometimes friends say things that aren't nice but just to ignore it. Tell her she is a unique individual and she's going to be great at lots of things. The only way to find out what she really loves doing and can do well is to try. Most things take a lot of work and you get better by trying and by lots of practice. Practicing with some friends will help even more and make it more fun. My son is 23 now and will be a physics and math teacher. He tried most everything as he was growing up and now he is a very confident well rounded adult who feels capable about doing just about anything. He doesn't have a great voice either but he did enjoy being in the junior high choir and participating in a few plays. He is very creative and won the highest award for that with his team in OM (which is now DI). I think the best thing I ever did was encourage him at everything he showed an interest in even if it was something I wasn't crazy about or something I didn't think would amount to much. Life gets narrowed down so quickly by the time they are in high school. Encourage her now to try the widest range of things. Especially encourage her to try things girls normally aren't encouraged to do like math and science. By the time she becomes terribly self-conscious in a few years, you want her to be so confident that she will still go after her dreams and what she enjoys no matter what her peers say to her.

How about getting her some help. She can practice and become better. I know that you said you don't feel confident with your own skills, but if you set her up with a teacher (even for a short period of time) you can help her become the best she can be. (rather than make her feel awful for who she is right now)

I agree with everyone else. Let her try out. We are so about trying to protect our kids from failure, but we forget that sometimes those are the things that build character. I have tried out for more things in my life than I can count, and I get rejected a lot, but it's those few successes that keep me going.

You don't get every job you apply for. You don't get every job you interview for. We have to learn to deal with rejections throughout life.

And like someone else said--she just might surprise you. If I have noticed anything in my own pursuits for performing, it's not always the truly, amazingly talented people who are out there working. It's the persistent and the passionate. Those are the values that lead to success in life.

Let her go for it! My daughter had no stage fright, and still doesn't even now that she is in college. But help her as much as possible, don't lie to her about her talent, but encourage her to go for her dreams. I think that either she will improve or figure it out that it may not be what she really wants to do, but at least she has the courage to try. Just be supportive.

Gina,
I know how you feel, but she really needs to try this if she wants to. It is better to have tried and lost than not to have tried at all. Think of this as a learning experience. We can't shelter our kids from everything no matter how much we want to.

My son is in High School and I have been to some talent shows that have not had the best singers, but at least they are up there trying. This is good for them even though they may not be the best at it.

If you discourage her from doing this, this may discourage her from trying other things. She can at least say she tried it, if she gets any flack about it.

If you really feels strongly about not having her do this, maybe you could suggest another talent that she is good at. Good luck!

Don't convince her not to try out - just encourage her to do her best and practice and let her know that if she doesn't make it, there's always next time. Telling her that she can't do well at something is going to damage her self-esteem adn make her question herself for all her years to come. If she fails at something that she tried at, be there to support her and let her know that if she works hard, maybe it will turn out differently next time. You'll build her self esteem instead of tearing it down - and for a young girl, that is crucial. Can make all the difference in her teenage years.

I too would not try to discourage her from trying out...trying for things and being rejected and being accepted are the steps everyone takes, she even with her can't carry a tune voice might just get the part...the beauty of being a kid you are allowed to have a terrible singing voice and not be ashamed of it yet...as adults us terrible singers usually do it when we think no one is watching...

Hi Gina, I'm 55 and have 2 girls. They have grown into beautiful, caring women and great moms. (Do I sound proud?) :o) Anyway, my advice is to let her go for it. She might just be the best in the class. If she's not, then that's okay too. It's a learning experience. My youngest daughter wanted to try out for cheerleader when in high school and she still can't jump. She was overweight at the time too. It was very difficult to try and not discourage her, but it was what she really wanted. I think she got 5 votes, but she was happy that she had tried and she tried the next year too. It's important to let them feel confident in their decisions. You can talk to her afterwards and support her now. Maybe you, or someone else, will see a strength or talent in her that she can be mentored on.

One thing that I have realized is that kids sometimes know what they want to do when they grow up (their passion) and then forget it when they get older. Maybe music is her passion and there are hundreds of ways to have music as your passion, singing is just one.

I hope this has helped. Good luck!

Gina; wow, thats really cool she wants to do that, although she cannot sing well, maybe you can pick a song that she can sing, and to have the guts to do such a thing is great, have you ever seen american idol, there are many there who cannot sing either, ahhahahaha i would say if you want to do this, lets work on it and practice, they say the number 1 fear is public speaking, if she is wanting to do this , it wont hurt her ? yes she might be laughed at, but too she might get wow good job, you were good, if she is willing to take that risk, i dont know, its up to you and her, although you dont have that kind of confidence to sing in front of others dont mean she cant try, if you had a personal experience that made you feel that way share your fears with her, try to be supportive, yet balanced , to not do it cause of your fears is not a good excuse, i understand your fear, no one wants our kids to be laughed at, or made fun of, nor do we want them to do something we are uncomfortable with, however you might be able to find a middle ground, i would not know how to talk her out of it, however the other facter can affect her as well, by talking her out of it, you can be telling her she is not good enough and you could be telling her she is not good enough , and that only those good enough are to be on stage, thats not a fair statement and may be more hurtful than a few kids laughing, i say find a song she can do, and practice with gestures and facial reactions to song that applies, just for going on stage by herself is enough to gain respect, find a nice balance, and get your video camera ready and you will feel proud of her for trying, who knows maybe she can do it, D. s

Why not let her try out and be supportive no matter what happens? From personal experience I know that anything goes at elementary school talent shows. Great for her that she's interested in doing that! It takes a lot of courage to get up in front of your classmates and teachers and perform. I would let her go for it and tell her that she should be proud of herself for trying so hard! My 7 year old tried out playing the piano when he had been taking lessons for only a few months and could play only a simple song. He didn't make the "final cut," but he felt good about himself, no one made fun of him and I've got some great memories. Now he has some experience for this year too. Your school will probably let you watch the try outs if you want to express your support and interest. Have fun with it!

I would have her try out and have her do a little dance or get a distracting fabulous outfit to take the focus off her singing maybe.

My daughter isn't the best singer either and wants to be on stage singing so I plan to work with her on one really easy song and have her perfect that one possibly.

She's so young she can still get away with singing horribly her friends won't notice how well she did they'll notice she had the nerve to do it and her hair was pretty or she had a pretty shirt on.

This is the hardest thing for us parents, and the most important thing we ever do....let go and let them fall. As I tell my kids often, we learn from our mistakes. It is important to let her learn how to deal with failure now rather than later, it's all a part of her growing experience and that is something that, as hard as it is, we can't protect them from but we can help them through. As she gets older she will recognize her own limits, but only if she is allowed to find where those limits are. Be there, be supportive, that is what she will remember most.

Talent shows aren't really about talent at that age anyway! They are about confidence and humor.

What song does she want to sing? Does she have a dance to go with it?

I'd encourage her to go for it- the more support she has, the more confident she will feel and the more fun her show will be. Try to gently steer her towards a silly song and encourage funny moves to go with it. Something that it won't matter much if she sounds TERRIBLE.

My husband can't carry a tune to save his life- and his dancing is way worse! The other day our son (2 yrs old) was begging his daddy to "dance! dance! more dance!" and he said to him, "you know, you are the second person ever to ask me to keep dancing. Everybody else has always said "please stop." What I am trying to say by that is my husband went through his whole life being discouraged from doing two things that give people great joy. It is only now in the safety of his own home with only his wife and son for an audience that he is comfortable doing what he loves. He's still just awful at both singing and dancing, but it gives him joy and that's what we really want for the ones we love.

If your daughter loves to sing, or even if she just thinks she wants to sing this one time for the show, by all means, encourage her. What a fantastic opportunity to help her learn about the value of doing your best and pursuing what you love even if you don't succeed the first time!

If it turns out she gets laughed at and rejected, then you've got a head start on helping her with that obstacle, which she'll face LOTS if in middle school/junior high. She's gotta learn how to deal with it, and it'll be better for her if you can be upbeat at the front end instead of having to say" well, I told you so" at the other end.

Gina,

I have to agree with Jill. I think it is important that if she wants to try out, you need to let her.

If she try's out, she will feel like she accomplished something. It will build character.

I would hope that the other kids won't laugh. After all, they are all the same age, and I would expect most of the kids "talents" would be about the same.

Encourage her. It's important.

J.

My daughter wanted to be in the talent show and she also couldn't sing. I let her try out and she was sad that she didn't make it, but it didn't ruin her life. She tried out again the next year (dancing with friends instead of singing) and she made it.

My suggestion - Let her try out. At 9, rejection isn't a bad thing. She has to learn to deal with it at some point. I'd rather it be early than when they get to be adults.

Is it possible for her to sing as a trio or with some friends? That way their voices will kind of blend and she won't be up there all by herself with her voice the sole focus of everyone's attention.
I know how you feel, because my 10 year old daughter wants to do the talent show this year too. Her voice is pretty good, but she is extremely shy and I worry about what will happen when she goes up there. So, I've been encouraging her and her best friend to do a duet or maybe do a dance routine.

My thought is this, let her try out... I know you never want to see your child's heart broken, but at 9, I am thinking she is probably in 4th grade??? My 10 year old is in 5th... I think the thing to keep in mind is that soon she will be coming up on middle school and even if she isn't selected for the talent show she will be learning lessons that will prepare her for tryouts in middle school and High school...It will probably hurt her feelings if she doesn't make it, but I think it is a good teaching moment for her to learn that sometimes in life you will get disappointed but that doesn't make you any less special.

Most of the kids in the talent shows cannot sing too well. Rejection is part of life and I think it would be more hurtful if she was rejected by her mother. My advice would be to respect her desire to want to try something new. It takes a lot of guts to perform in front of people or to give a speach in front of a lot of people. Praise her on her courage and let her be. Just my thoughts

Harsh as it sounds, I think I would let her try out if she really wants to. I'm sure the judges will be tactful if they say no. She needs to learn that sometimes life is hard, and you don't get what you want. I know you just want everything to be perfect for your kids. But if you don't back her on trying out, then it looks like you don't believe in her. I would back her, but tell her not to feel bad and to be prepared to be rejected. And then help her through that.

is there something else you can have her do. maybe recite a funny poem or something or maybe have her sing a silly song that is supose to be out of tune!! on the silly side to add some humor for her!!!

Do not discourage her, encourage her. This a good age for children to explore their talents. You cannot shelter your child from real life. They must learn to deal with it, with your guidance. There will always be disappointments in a childs life, just like anyone else. If you shelter her, she will not become all that she can, she will give up. If she is rejected or laughed at, you should be there to teach her how to deal with it...not avoid it. Whether it happens at age 9 or 19, it will happen. It happens to us all.
A little about me:
My daughter couldn't hold a tune either, I would cringe when she tried to sing while riding in the car but never said a word. She would always be in music class trying to sing. Then a wonderful music teacher taught her how to breathe when singing. I could not believe the improvement. She even sang solo at several school music concerts. Check to see if a music teacher is willing to tutor her after school.
I am 56, my daughter is 26 and still loves to sing, play piano and violin. Since neither my husband nor I were musical she opened us up to a whole new world that I would have never appreciated before...especially had I discouraged her even from trying.

Is there something else that she is good at -- dancing, etc.? Or is there a friend she could try out with, someone with a better voice who might "cover" for her as she sings?

I know you want to shield her from hurt. I've auditioned many, many times and haven't gotten parts, so I know the sting of that rejection. But, it can be a great learning opportunity for her. I would find out what the setting of the auditions will be (ie, are they private or in front of everyone else, are the judges trusted adults or peers, etc.). If you think the setting will be warm and encouraging, then I would encourage her to go for it.

One last thought. I think as parents we should be our kids' champions and encourage them to try everything they are interested in. I'd rather not be their critic. There are plenty of people, events and circumstances in life that will help them see what they are good at, and what they aren't good at. Succeed or fail, I'll be on the sidelines rooting them on!

Maybe help her along and get her a couple voice lessons... alot of people start out not being able to sing well... They just need to be taught how to sing. Some of the best singers in the world didn't start out as stars they had to work for it. it's worth a shot.

Hi Gina,
Well first of all your daughter is a very outgoing little girl to even think about entering this contest....and cudoos to her for doing that!!
I think all you can do in this situation is be supportive and let her try. I am thinking she is not going to be outnumbered by child prodigys anyways!! More than likely she will fit in rather than stand out. I understand your concern and need to protect her from the pain of ridicule, but you are also protecting her from herself!!
Before the tryouts make sure she knows that you love her and support her no matter what happens.....then whip out the camera and be a proud mamma no matter whether she sings like an angel or break all the glass in the house!!
Good luck to both of you!!

Dear Gina,
Didn't you see Little Miss Sunshine? Of course she should audition if she wants to, who knows, maybe the judge will think she's the coolest one because she is unique! A.

Encourage her to try out, but let her know the pros and cons. She maybe willing to take that chance and SUPPORT HER in anything that she tries. I think that is the main goal is support in whether she makes or breaks it. She will always know that her mother was there for her.

My daughter did the same thing only she wanted to dance and sing like the pop stars. I let her do it, and she wasn't very good at all, but she had fun. She wasn't the only one that was not very good. Help your daughter find an easy song and practice with her, and then let her sing her little heart out. If it doesn't work out like she thought be there to support and encourage her. Don't let her not try things because of what other people might think.

I say let her try out! What a great way to build self confidence! We just went through the same thing last week with my 8 year old. She told us that she was going to try out for the school talent show on the piano. This surprised me very much because she is very shy and we have been trying to deal with self confidence issues. I was hesitant at first because she is only in book one and I know of other children in her class who have been playing for a few years who also were trying out. (I also was thinking about her feelings)So what happened? She did try out, didn't make it and felt good about the whole experience. She said she was going to try again next year. I told her how proud I was and I could tell that really made her feel good about herself.

Hi Gina - wow you are in a tough situation as we like to think are children are great at everything. I wouldn't tell her not to try out but maybe you should encourage her to practice/practice/practice at home and after she has a song that she thinks is ready to go tape it for her and play it back. Let her listen to herself and see what she thinks. Maybe she'll make her own decision. Or possibly see if she would be interested in getting a group of friends together and singing together or lip syncing their favorite Hannah Montana song? Good Luck to you and just remind her that no matter the outcome she's a fabulous singer to you! Even if deep down you want to plug your ears when she is belting out a verse! :-)

I think I'd quickly poing out some of her other qualities and see if she catches on to any of them that she feels are stronger qualities than her singing. If she really pushes it, you could suggest that she sing and dance along with another song playing, so that her voice is a bit more drowned out by the real song. And, if she dresses really cute, people will applaus her efforts because kids are just cute even if they're not very talented. If she picks a good croud pleasing song, she will get an applause and will feel good about herself.

Before her big performance, have her rehearse it infront of the family for practice and tape it so that she can watch herself before the big day. That way, when she sees herself on tape and hears her voice cracking, she will change her mind about doing a public performance and it will be all her own decision, with tons of support from her parents for whatever she chooses. :)

QUICK EDIT! I just want to say, that I know this seems a bit sneaky and manipluative, but...helping your kids see through rose colored glasses for their whole lifes is a nice thought, but...you are wise enough to know that she's not going to have a singing career and should strive for something more accievable. You are just trying to protect her without hurting her feelings and without you being the bad guys. Self esteem, negative or possitive...it can effect the rest of her life.

Good luck.

Let her try out, the judges will tell her that she doesn't qualify. That's good that she feels confident enough and wants to try. With American Idol and those kind of shows these days, many try out that don't qualify, but have the courage to.

I have 3 daughters that all sang and performed. They weren't athletic, but when they wanted to try sports, I let them. After one season they realized sports wasn't for them. Let her try if she wants to.

God bless you. Hang in there.

My son has been in theater and it has been wonderful for him. What other talents does your daughter have that she could do for the talent show? Could you video tape her singing and play it back for her so she could know how she sound or tape record it? She may have no idea how she really sounds. How about a comedy song where the out of tune will fit? Best of luck.
Sincerely,
S.
http://www.YesToSuccess.net/S.
Helping families with health and wealth for almost 12 years!

Hi Gina,
Honestly, I wouldn't try to talk her out of it. If she is really excited about being in the talent show becaue it will be fun, that is the most important thing. I am an elementary school teacher and I can tell you that for the most part NONE of the kids are ready for American Idol, but at the same time it is so sweet watching them put their heart and soul into their performances. I always enjoy watching them and am often surprised at how much natural talent the kids actually have.
The kids in the audience really enjoy the show too just for the fact of seeing their peers perform. I fear that if you try to talk her out of it, it will only make her think you don't believe in her and not want to take risks in the future. She won't know what she can do until she tries.
If your daughter is showing some nervousness about singing, then maybe brainstorm some other talents she has that she can perform. Otherwise, I really think you should let her try out and let the chips fall where they may. It's ok for kids to know that they can mess up. The important thing to celebrate here is that your daughter feels confident to perform in front of so many people.
It will be ok!! I promise!!!
P.S. Perhaps you could share your worries with your daughter's teacher and he/she could have a talk with the class as a whole about being polite to their peers because it really takes a lot of guts to get up in front of others like this.
I hope this helps!

A.

I think it's great that you want to protect your child from being hurt or picked on; most parents do. But I think you should let her edo it. Even if she sings off key and can't keep a beat (like me) it's a great confidence booster for a child. The experience for her would be awsome. My children loved doing their talent shows and I was there to cheer them on every step of the way- no matter what they chose to do. Just think she may want to sing this year but hoola hoop next year- you never know. Her friends will also be supportive of her.

Gina,
You would do a disservice to your 9 year daughter if you denied her the growth and ability to explore in the developement of her talents and expressions. You as a mother need to remember most children at that age cannot sing at the expectations of WHAT the parents want to hear. I think you have more of a problem with this than your daughter has. Let her sing and enjoy the moment. You will come to find out that most of the children will have the same problem with tones and pitches. Remember also, this is at a elementary level talent show and thats all it is. Take a look at the positive things that can come out of this. It takes alot to stand in front of a large group and sing or act at 9 years of age. Let it be fun and I suggest to you to loosen up and be proud of the early accomplishments that your 9 year old daughter is willing to achieve. Support her on it and show her that how ever she sounds that she sounds lovely to you. So what about the others comments? Means nothing! if she has learned to be confident, with good self esteem it wont matter what others say. Great opportunity dont ruin it for her now. Good Luck! KM

Let her do it!!!!!

Kids need to know that their parents are behind them and not embarrassed by them.

Plus - she might surprise you!!!!!!!

And no matter what - give her lots of credit and praise. It takes guts to go out and perform. Encourage her and wish her the best!!!!!!!!

D. in milwaukee

You should let her try out. My 10 y/o son was in a similar situation. He loves to sing and joined the combined 4th/5th grade chorus this year. He has tried out for the "special" parts for every performance and has yet to be selected and ends up being part of the general chorus. It has not hindered him one bit. In fact, it has been just the opposite. He was once a child who was miserably shy when it came to anything like required being in front of the classroom. Not anymore. He also loves being a part of the general chorus and has the attitude that there is always next time for one of the "special parts". I think that a lot of their reaction is dependent upon how we as parents react to these types of situations. I'm sure in the end, you will do the right thing.

Full time working single mom of 1

I also have a 9 year old daughter that likes to sing...maybe it's the age??? Anyway, I would encourage her to try out instead of talking her out of it. It's brave and outgoing of her to even try. To discourage her would be to make her dreams unimportant. I don't think others would laugh at her at all. All the others may sound the same way at this age. If she doesn't get chosen, then that's a learning experience for her. It will make her want to try harder next time. I think that all kids should be given a chance to do what they want, even though they may not be good at it. We all have to start somewhere. You never know, she could improve with age and be the best there is...

A. W.

My first question is what is bad about her taking a risk? Second, what is bad about her learning rejection? After several tries at "protecting" my kids (17, 12 and 9) I have learned that at some point they have to try life and be hurt. I want it to be while I still can be there to pick them up and then use it as a time to evaluate the situation together. It isn't long before she won't allow you to pick her up. It is closer than you would think!
But as most moms, we want to save them from embassament and failure. You will want to talk her out of it. You will need to show her where she has talents and how those may be a better choice. Example: "You have have a great humor lets look into some fun jokes to tell." What a great way to teach comic timing and body language. "You read well, maybe we should find something you would like to recite or read. I would love to help you do that." A great way to introduce poetry or using voice while reading. (Okay, the teacher in me is coming out.)
The trick is to find her special gift and then show how that would be the way to go. It also is a great teaching moment because you can help her see that everyone is unique and special and we should showcase who we are, not who we think we should be or what others think is right way. Don't be scared to gently tell her that singing like you is not a gift to share with those outside of the family.
She may still want to do what you don't want her to do. Then you start to pray and give her to God if that is your orientation.
Remember, some of the lessons we learn the best are the hard ones. It is also our jobs as parents to sometimes allow our children to fail so that they can learn. We don't always do them any favors by saving them from everything. This is not one of those issues that will physically harm them.
I will be routing for you in your parenting. I hope the redirecting works for you. It would be the easiest on you.

I wouldn't tell her not to try out. You want your daughter to learn to make decisions and follow thru on those - regardless of the outcome. By you asking her not to do it, she'll learn that she isn't good at making wise choices and may stop making them. Instead, support your daughter and help her in any way you can. Go with her to a music teacher and try to find a song that best suits her. Maybe she has time to do some voice lessons with the teacher. She needs to be supported. If she doesn't make it, I'd be prepared to spend some mom/daughter time with her to help soften the blow. Maybe go get some ice cream or something. My 8yr old daughter and I try to do this every other month regardless of what's going on. If she doesn't make it, let her know that not everyone has the talents they were looking for. God created each of us in a different way and that's wonderful! She's very talented at other things and maybe brainstorm if she'd like to try some other things she's better suited for. Bottom line - this is her decision to make and for you to support her in any way you can.

Hi Gina,

Pleeeease, don't ever tell your children they can't do something. You will regret it later in life and so will they.

If she wants to try out, then by all means, encourage her to do her best. I give her kudos for having the courage to stand in front of a audience and sing at such a young age. Good for her!

If those children laugh at her. Let her find that out on her own. She just might surprise you! But do yourself a favor, do NOT let her know that you think she can't carry a tune. Believe in your daughter and be there for her when and if the kids do laugh at her singing.

You could Tape record her singing and play it back to her and let her listen to it and see what she thinks. If she thinks she's good to go. Let her. She's learning something.

Good luck!

Kids fall all the time. Our job as parents is not to take that away from them, because this is how they learn how to be the people they grow up to be. It creates their backbones, makes them strong. Just be there for them and pick them up. That's if she needs it.

I would be proud of her!

J.

Hello Gina, I would just let her go ahead and do it, at the same time let her know that it's only a try out if it didn't work out the way she is hoping for not to be upset because not everyone who try out will be pick. But at the very less she give it a try. My daughter Vicky 10 years old been in that road last year, she tried out in a play at school luckily she got the part not as a solo but in a chorus. Goodluck.

Why not try to talk her into auditioning doing something she is better at? Can she dance? Play an instrument? Something like that. If not, let her try out for singing and then sit in the audience and be a proud mama. If anyone says anything to her or makes fun of her, tell her they must be jealous of her beautiful voice. Even if its not the truth, its better to encourage her.

I have a 10 yr old daughter, and if it was me, I'd just make sure she really wanted to do it. Then say, "go for it", and let the audition committee do the hard part. I think it's better for us to encourage our kids, than limit them. We can offer alternatives ("Honey, maybe you would like gymnastics better.") but if they sense we do not support them in their endeavors, it causes a rift in the relationship, that can be much more hurtful than having a few classmates laugh.

SAHM of seven

I think by you saying she shouldn't try out you'll hurt her more than her classmates ever could. *IF* they pick on her, it will stay with her for a week or two; if her own MOTHER rejects her and says she's not good enough to even try, that will stay with her all her life.

Let her try out. Support her and be proud of her. Don't limit her, or she'll do it to herself in the future and have the "why bother, I'm probably not good enough anyway" attitude.