Need to Know It Will Be Alright...............

Oh sweetheart, what a tough time you're having!

This is the time to reach out to those friends who love you and want to support you. I'm hoping you have good support in your area for child care, maybe a glass of wine to vent and hopefully find some time to laugh a little.

I notice that you're writing this a little late (as am I) and I wanted to encourage you to get some sleep. Try to rest for tomorrow. You've got so much on your plate, your mind can sort more out in your sleep. Night time is the worst for thinking about how much is going on right now. I know you're worried and sleep may seem ridiculous, but as you said, you need to be strong and its going to be harder if you're not taking care of you.

I'm so close to my mom, I feel sick for you. Please keep us updated!

Wait a minute -- this year hasn't brought as much bad as you said. Let me add to your list of good things:

Good things:
Your son was born
You celebrated your 1 year wedding anniversary
Your grandma found out she is now CANCER FREE
You hit a deer and totaled your car and you LIVED THROUGH IT!
Your sister had a bad car accident and she LIVED THROUGH IT!

Not so great things:
Your husband is deployed, but he is coming back __(date)____.

Bad and scary things:
Your mom has cancer (but your grandma is cancer free so there's a good chance your mom will be cancer free too!)

Your mom is your main concern, as she should be. And hopefully your husband will be back soon to help support you. But many cancers are pretty curable these days, and there's a good chance they will cure your mom's cancer. The rest of the "bad" things, they are all behind you and they turned out FINE. (Most people have at least one car accident.)

Best wishes to you and your mother.

CONGRATULATIONS on all the good things in your life!!! Keep thinking positive thoughts...don't be brought down my negative ones...

Thank your husband for his service and sacrifices to our country....I will pray for his safe return.

I will keep your family in my prayers as well..I hope your mom will be like your grandma and be cancer free!!!

Stay positive! Stay focused!!

I am so sorry to hear this. My mother in law was diagnosed with cancer in February, and it has been a whirlwind eversince. She had surgery in April and just finished radiation. I'm sure everything will work out the way it is suppose to. I will keep your family in my prayers.

I am so sorry S..
I have had an awful year, too. After trying to get doctors to listen to me for years that something was wrong with my lungs, I found out in January that I had lung cancer. I had to have half my lung removed. It it had been detected earlier, I could have been completely cured. Now, since it was in a lymph node, it could come back.
At the same time, my FIL crashed. He was 93, but still able to do just about everything til them. A week after I got out of the hospital, our house flooded.
As soon as I was able to be alone, my husband went to see his dad, who died while he was there. I got to the airport as soon as I could to make the funeral. Just as I got to the gate, storms closed the airport. I had to wait about four hours to get on the plane, then it was worse than any roller coaster ride. I was in very bad pain by the time I got there.
When I got home, a guy rear-ended me and all the pain came back. A week later, I hit a road hazard and did about about $5k more damage to the car. Then someone hit the rental car while we were in a restaurant.
In June, a dear friend went hiking in Peru with her husband and son. She died suddenly. It took 14 hours just for the police to arrive and another week before husband and son could come home. We had to have the service with her body still there because of all the corruption.
Now my MIL has pneumonia!
I have certainly gone through some depression with all this. What has helped me is my faith and the Bible study I am currently in.
There is no treatment for the kind of cancer I had. So I have done everything I can to make sure I stay healthy. If I can help you in that way, I will be happy to share the info with you.
I pray that you will find peace in the mist of this trial.

I lived with my father having cancer (leukemia). It was extremely rough.. he was extremely strong too. That strength and faith helped him live triple the amount of time the doctor's anticipated. I was 6 months old when my father was diagnosed, children take these things with amazing grace, somehow.

I write a little about the battle and perseverance here:
http://littlelovables.blogspot.com/2008/06/fathers-day.html

I do know, that through trials, we are made stronger, we are brought closer, we are tested. Certainly there is a plan for all of this. After the storm comes the rainbow, right?

So yes, it will be alright. Even in those dark moments when it doesn't feel like it... there is always something great right around the corner. in the mean times, surround yourself with positive people, get help, learn to find extra meaning in life moments and draw closer to your father in Heaven through prayer and scripture study.

I'll say a prayer for you! With all of these things happening at once, it may feel impossible to deal with, but you WILL find the strength and courage...it's there! Hug and love your children more than ever and hold your moms hand with nothing but hope in your eyes. You can do it!

My Dad developed cancer at the end of his life, he too was my hero. At the time I had a 2 year old with lots of emotional "issues" as well as a 3.5 year old. My husband worked alot so 90% of everything was on me. Tough time. In my case, I insisted he come live with us, we gave up our master bedroom/bathroom area for him so he could be more comfortable and I could have him near and do what I could. We had hospice and I hired someone to watch him at night when I HAD to get some rest...this of course was at the very end of his life. I am SO HAPPY that I did this. It was the hardest time of my life but also the most rewarding.

In your case, with all the family support, I would get them to help you with childcare so you could escape to the hospital and be with her. Ask God for His insight, I had some huge pivotal moments during that time. Keep your heart open.....

My thoughts are with you. God bless.

My husband was in the military when we first met, years & years ago but best of luck to yours on his deployment...we thank him for his service to our country. As far as everything else that is going on in your life, just take things one step at a time. I know it's a really weird saying, but a few years back (about 3) my husband was diagnosed w/cancer, he was laid off from his job, we found out my 11 yr old had been sexually abused by a family member since the time she was 5 & we realized that we would be be losing our home (we just moved & are waiting to close on our short-sale) - okay back to the saying - a friend of mine asked me how you eat an elephant & i had no clue so they said one lump at a time. It made no sense but then i realized that it's true, you take a little bit at a time. Some days are more then others, trust me - we have all be on an emotional roller coaster since all of this, the cancer, the whole thing w/our daughter - that was enough to put my husband & i both in the crazy house. But somehow even on the worst of worst days you reach inside of yourself and you find the strength to get through it all. The saddest thing that I have to say and I know that some will not understand how these words can ever come out of my mouth, but unless you have experienced it, then maybe you won't, I lost my mom 3 weeks before the birth of my 1st daughter (she's 13 now). I never thought I would ever feel a great pain or emptiness, well after going through these past 3 years I realize that it was possible. And again, you may not believe in this, I know my mom was right beside me helping me get through every bit of this. The most important thing to do is to hold onto the positive, we ended up making it in our home for over 2 years, which was much longer then we had anticipated, just keep mowing through what you can. As far as your mom goes, find out all that you can about the type of cancer she has and do all that you can to help her beat it. My husband has been in remission for 3 yrs. It has been a bumpy road, lots of scares, but he's okay so we'll take it! Hang in there and know that there is an end to it all. Until then, just do the best you can and realize that, realize that you are doing the best you can. Best of luck to you.

Sending you my prayers.... : )

I had one of those years once (1998!) All you can do is get through each minute as it happens.

And take time to ENJOY the positive thing(s) in your life. For me it was the basset hound puppy my best friend gave me the week after my 1st miscarriage, taking time to PLAY with and to train him every day was what kept me sane. Don't just take care of your kids, MAKE time EVERY day to get down on the floor and do something SILLY-- it will save your sanity.

Oh-- and start planning how you're going to celebrate! For me I celebrated New Year's Eve that year-- not something I usually do, but I was READY to kiss 1998 GOODBYE! For you, I imagine the celebration will be your hubby's homecoming. Are you going to have a small family dinner with his favorite home cooked meal? A big blow out with all your friends and family? Find out what he's looking forward to and start planning!

And I have NEVER had a year that bad again! The period from October 2006 to Jan 2008 was more eventful, but the events, on balance, were happier or at least more peaceful!

One thing in life that I try to focus on is that no matter what, it is going to be okay. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for and when I get to a place where I feel there is nothing (and it happens), I focus on the good in life and realize that someone out there has much less to be thankful for. I have had to realize when dealing with a ton of "bad" all at once that someone out there doesn't have a child's hug to brighten their day, or the voice of a friend to offer comfort, or a faith in God to give them some peace, or a place to call home. Sometimes our "bad" feels like so much that we really get into a place where we feel that nothing will ever be "good" again and that it will never be okay......I'm here to tell you that it will. Blessings to you and yours. HUGS!

First I would find a support group where you can talk about how you feel honestly with guilt. This should be a group that is confidential so that you feel very secure in say everything even if it is not always positive about those you love. Ask the hospital if they have a support group. Ask the military if they have a support group. Make sure it is confidential.

Second remember to live only one day at a time. If some days seem to hard to live one day at a time, live them one hour at a time.

Third take time to play with those babies everyday. Babies smile and laugh when you play with them. You need to play and laugh every day. So play. Every day.

You will make it.

You are doing better than you think.