When the Cancer Diagnoses Just Won't Stop Coming

A friend just died yesterday from colon cancer, stage 4. He was given a few months to live and he battled it for over 5 years. He tried every single drug and chemo treatment they would give him. He was 51. The love of my life was diagnosed with ALS in January, the life expectancy for that is 2-5 years. He is already in a wheelchair and cannot feed or dress himself. He has an 8 year old daughter. He is 47. In March my month old great nephew died from SIDS. It's been a Hell of a year. I'm 49 and I guess I just expect things to be bad but not this bad. Genetics play a huge part in things not just a healthy lifestyle. How do I deal with it? I just do. I have 2 children who need their mother to not be a basket case. I have many health problems and I am grateful it's not worse.

A good friend and coworker of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer this past spring. It went from stage II to stage IV and inoperable. They can't even do chemo or radiation. The only thing they can do is give her hormone treatments to start menopause and hope that will help. She has 3 kids, one going into 11th, one going into 7th, and one that just turned 6. My heart breaks for her daily. I simply cannot imagine. Oh - and her husband is disabled, she is the only one bringing in a steady income for the family.

Cancer SUCKS and is scary. I'll say a prayer.

Crazy and sad isn't it?...It's all the time and I really have started to see it as "who's next?"....seriously. I hate to be so negative but it seems to be the truth. A coworker, 47, was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer....has a 4th grader and two college age kids....so sad. Maybe she'll pull through but either way her life's forever changed. I know exactly what you mean. I feel like the cancer rates have increased significantly, but of course I don't really know. I've wondered if there's something in our food/environment because the prevalence of it is astounding! I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything! You've had a lot of loss, I'm so sorry. I've lost my mom and uncle to cancer (48 yrs old and 57 yrs old), freaking sucks...

Yep it's our age (I'm 48) and it sucks. Instead of going to weddings and baby showers we now get to look forward to prepping meals for the sick, widowed and elderly, and attending funerals and memorial services.
What keeps ME positive is being that person who can give, organize, etc. Feeling blessed to be healthy every day and never taking for granted that I could be next...

I've just realized that if you live long enough and have enough people in your life, eventually you will experience loss. It can be loss you anticipated, like elderly parents, or loss that came as a shock, but without fail there will be a shocking loss.

A few years ago, our neighbor died of ovarian cancer. She was probably one of the finest people I have ever known. It made me realize that you can't take people for granted...seeing all she went through with such grace and strength also gave me, weirdly, an example of a good death. This is the way you do death..with compassion for those you are leaving behind.

I remind myself that we have eliminated major epidemics. We don't have something like the Spanish flu or the bubonic plague. We don't lose 1/2 our children before their 4th birthday as many women do in many other countries. We have much to be grateful for, but no one, and no country no matter how medically advanced or wealthy, is immune.

I think the way I cope is to remind myself that life is what you make of it. I can be grateful or sorrowful. Joyful or a source of misery. I probably think about mortality every day now, and that is strangely enough one of the benefits of friends being ill...it makes you realize how limited your time is, and how relationships should be treasured.

I think it's just what happens when you get older, because we are getting to the age where our peers start dying. I'm a couple decades older than you, but no, I don't think it will hit a lull at this point. If you live long enough, you're going to see a lot of people die.

I don't think there's a way to avoid becoming emotionally drained, and in my experience, each death builds upon the sadness of the last one.

it's crazy how it's escalating. it used to be so rare and tragic. now people are getting drive-through chemo on their way to work.
on the plus side, i think MORE of the people i know who are diagnosed with cancer seem to be surviving.
but yeah. the bombardment just doesn't end.
i deal pretty much the way i deal with most life challenges- try to be as helpful as i can without intruding, and don't dwell on it. that precious alone time that is the only thing that really recharges me.
khairete
S.

I hear you. I feel like I hear so much any more too. My dear friend just had a heart transplant this summer. She was suppose to be home in 1 to 2 weeks but instead she was in the hospital for 6 weeks. We really questioned if she would make it. She had one complication after another. She moved to rehab this week though and is doing well. Hoping your friends have good outcomes too.

How do I cope...I just keep reminding myself it is not about me and focus on doing what I can to help my friend in need. Easier said than done...obviously.

(I was talking to friends about this very subject today. My one friends said that 10 mg of Paxil really helps her.😊)

I have four family member and one close friend all in their early 40s...fighting cancer in all five cases it has metastasized to other locations. My closest cousin in on hospice and has weeks if not less, breast cancer in bones, lungs, liver, blood...was caught early and hadn't spread, yet.

It just keeps coming and coming....my step sister in clinical trial same thing stage four breast cancer spread to brain, lymph node and liver...another cousin colon spread to lymph's, close family friend testicular spread to lymph's and lungs....

We are all young in good health, good weight BMIs...non-smokers, healthy living and bam one right after the next.

My aunt and uncle in their 80s have a funeral a week just about with their friends...but they are in their 80s damn it...that's the way it should be...not in our 40s with young kids all the way around.

Yes there seems to be an increase in cancer diagnosis. My aunt had breast cancer and now her husband has prostate cancer. So they are dealing with that. A lady I know who is about 37 or 38 announced that she has inoperable cancer. She is receiving chemo. A lady who works for me has had 3 heart attacks. I have an uncle and a cousin with MS. So unfortunately at our age sickness of our friends and loved ones is something to worry about all the time. We can just be there for them an offer prayers and whatever help they need. Feeling your suffering.

JB, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. We've had times when 'if it doesn't rain, it pours' regarding bad news, but not this critically and not to this degree. Sorry.