Need Your Help - Little Rock,AR

She sounds like she takes herself a little too seriously for a pre-school teacher (aka glorified babysitter). Do what you can to get him switched or have a heart-to-heart with Ms. Whatever and explain it like Uncle Buck did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6yGAQZqHZQ

First off he is 4 and sounds like a very creative and imaginitive child. The teacher should see this and work with it instead of trying to correct it like it is a problem. I honestly would go to someone above the teacher and maybe see if you can have a meeting with the teacher plus someone of higher authority. If she is talking down to your son in front of others that is a big problem and could really effect him and his confidence level. Maybe there is another teacher he could be switched to? I think you def have the right to act on this problem and try to resolve it before your son gets emotionally hurt.

Y'know . . . . preschools aren't necessarily staffed
by competent, educated people.
I'm sorry to bring this to your attention
but, sighhh . . . . it's the truth.
I'm guessing this teacher isn't educated in early childhood education.
I'm also guessing that she's used to running her classroom
in ways that are opposite to what many of us believe is appropriate
for 4-year-old children.
Is this preschool your only choice?

What are are the qualifications for the school and teacher? Are they licensed? What education and experience does the teacher have. If she is well qualified I'd make an appointment to ask her to expand on what is happening? She may be able to explain herself better in person with a dedicated block of time.

I urge you to also visit in the classroom on several different days so that you can see for yourself what is happening. Keep an open mind.

I don't know what you mean by criticizing him in front of other children. If she's correcting his behavior in a professional manner it is necessary. Your son does have to learn to conform.

When she says he's in his own world, she may be indicating a learning disability. My grandson, 7, has always been in his own world. He's been in special ed and is now in a therapeutic classroom. It's good to be unique but he also has to learn to follow the rules.

I suggest that you make an appointment with the school district for an evaluation for learning disabilities since he's having difficulties. Best to get help with them now if he has some special needs. But, also, this would help you to talk with the teacher if he tests out to not have learning disabilities.

My granddaughter, who is now 10, had difficulties focusing and staying in her seat in Kindergarten. She had an experienced and creative teacher who found ways to ground her. One thing that she did was have her sit on a chair during circle time. The other kids sat on the floor but the floor was too wide an expanse for my daughter. The chair gave her a specific place to stay.

My granddaughter has become a good student. She's in the 5th grade and had an IEP, Individual Education Plan, last year. She received some extra help with math and reading and is doing well this year. I wish we'd gotten help for her sooner. She did get help thru the school district but it took this long to know what questions to ask and who to ask them of.

Start with the school district office if the principal of the school doesn't refer you to the County Intermediate School District office. That office will perform an evaluation and make recommendations for handling your child's situation if he has a learning disability.

Considering learning disabilities is often scary but it needn't be. It could just be that your son is not ready or not mature enough to benefit from a structured classroom setting. Or he may need some specific help. My grandson became easier to be around after his mother received some help with learning a different way of parenting him that was based on his personality and needs.

I am confused about your description of him being introverted as compared to being an inborn performer. Telling stories in a TV program doesn't fit with being an introvert. For me, this indicates a possibility that he is confused about what is expected of him. Perhaps you're encouraging him to perform, to counter balance the being quiet and reflective and he's having to work at maintaining that outgoing personality. Or perhaps he's really an outgoing kid but because you're thinking of him as introverted you're not able to teach him to control his own behavior. Just an idea based on too little information.

Sounds like you need a new teacher. One that is willing to accept that all children are different and needs to remember that at the age, they are still young are going to do stuff like that. Needs to let him be himself, yes he probably shouldnt run around during class and what not but they are kids, she needs to be a little more understanding.

First, I would start volunteering in the class to get a better idea of what's going on. I would certainly want to see what problems she is having with your son and how she is correcting them.

It may be that your son has issues that need to be dealt with but be very very careful going down that path. If you got him treatment for something that doesn't exist it would totally turn his little world upside down and you would lose a very precious part of him. Some people in this world are introverted and they march to a different drum than the rest of us. That's OK! If in the end you choose to have him evaluated though be careful whom you choose and def get more than one opinion. I'm not saying there's anything wrong (this country is too big on "conforming" and our children are losing the imaginative spark that made this country so great) and he sounds wonderful. The school you have him in may be a bad fit or even the teacher. You could always try transferring him to another class or even another school entirely. Schooling isn't just a one way deal. You have to search for the best fit for your individual child. If he's just a shy, quiet little boy with an awesome imagination, finding him the school that will make him bloom and support him is well worth the time and effort involved in doing so.

I'm speaking from experience here. When my son (now 8 1/2) was diagnosed with a small speech delay and developmental delay at 3 we didn't think much of it but along the way we have made some good choices and some mistakes. His first therapists & councilors were awesome and he qualified for a developmental preschool that was wonderful. He had such a great time up there and he made tremendous progress. However, because of that, he no longer qualified for that program. So we put him in a local preschool that was recommended by several people. I volunteered up there once a week and I didn't like what I saw. I had a happy confident little boy turn into a complete wreck in only 2 months. The class was too crowded, he wasn't getting the extra attention he needed for his needs and the children were allowed to pick on him (and no, I'm not overly protective of my children and one neighbor of mine often told me I was too lax because I let my children roam further than our tiny postage stamp yard outside our door). The day he came home, knocked his 2 yo brother over and started slamming his head into the pavement yelling he hated school was the day we yanked him out. We consulted with the teachers to see what had happened to set him off and we were told that nothing out of the ordinary had happened! Obviously something happened to upset him but no one had a friggin clue. >.< The staff was unprofessional and irresponsible. My little boy that loved to play dress up and act out Shakespeare with his father (he died very well) was gone and for the next year and a half we had a son that totally regressed. He refused to talk and he was very desctructive. It took him that long to finally come out of his shell and he was just turned 6 when we enrolled him in kindergarten. As for that school, I'm not going into all of it or we'll be here all night. Suffice it to say his experience was very blah and they were recommending he stay in K for a third year (he did one year of homeschooling at home). No way was I going to put a 7 yo in a K class. However, at that time a totally awesome public charter school opened up and I was blessed that his enrollment was accepted for 1st. He has absolutely bloomed up there. He has been diagnosed with ODD but his environment has helped sooo much. The teachers really care about the children (what school do you know of where the director not only knows all 100+ students names but their parents as well?) and they take the time to show it. The student body has been out on more field trips in this last year than I had my whole school career! The children are giving back to the community (last year the K class gathered 1500 3 liter soda bottles, constructed a green house, grew crops over the summer and donated the vegetables to the local food banks) and they're also being taught communication skills. My son is now in second grade and he's finally catching back up to his peers. It helps that he wound up with the same teacher this second year in a row; she already knew all of his little tricks and could steer him straight. The staff has been amazing. He does have an IEP (I've had to help write, oh, say at least 8? in the last 5 years) and this is the best one he's ever had! He's actually meeting his goals. And all of this because he's been put in the correct school for him and he was paired with a good teacher.

You know your child best and it's up to you to choose the best path for his well being, not necessarily what someone else THINKS may be the best one. And keep in mind, a lot of research is showing that we are pushing more and more on our children too young that they're not ready to be pushed into such rigid conformity, especially the boys.

if possible maybe spy on him durring his class. so you can see first hand what is going on. dont let your son know your going to come in. you also didnt say how long your son has been in preschool. if he is new then this may be why. but if he has been in it all year (last year) then maybe try a different teacher. he also could be bored in the class.

You say pre-school so I am going to assume you do not mean child care. A 4 year old child in a classroom setting has to conform somewhat to the expectations of the teacher. There is time when he will need to sit down and be on task and their is time to run around and be exuberant. He doesn't sound ready for pre-school to me.

A classroom setting is different than child care. In child care they have circle time, playtime, and then some free time for crafts and other activities. In a school classroom they have a curriculum they must get through for all the children to pass on into Kindergarten. It's actual school.

To put it this way, if you were sending your child to pre-school and every time you went in to visit the class the teacher was spending all her time trying to get a child to stop running around and playing it would bother you that your child was not learning anything. You would want her to talk to the parent of that child and get that parent in the classroom to help out with her child so the teacher could do her job and teach your child the lessons.

Go volunteer in the classroom and help out and observe what is going on. If your child is really that disruptive then you need to see it for yourself and then decide on how to deal with the situation. If he's not and she is just trying to stifle him then you have a reason to make an appointment with the Principle of the school

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Ditto to Marda, who is exceptionally insightful, experienced, eloquent, and extremely generous to give all those things of herself to your question.

Still, it is difficult for us to understand why you need so VERY many mamapedia accounts.

:)

This sounds like a pretty bad match. While it's true that your son needs to learn how to behave in class, the teacher doesn't seem to have much empathy. And, little boys need time to run around and get the wiggles out, I wonder if he isn't getting enough time for that at school? The way the teacher treats him sounds reprehensible, and I would get a different teacher, one who teaches well but doesn't stifle individuality. Maybe your son doesn't like the teacher, so he acts out in class.

wow....what's up here?

What exactly is a three year old doing that is very, very bad? Is he breaking things, harming others? Is he calling people names or is he just running around impulsively? When does this stop. He is three years old. If you don't know how to communicate with the teacher then the teacher is someone who is not very approachable. He is three. Are there any other schools? Do other people complain? Do you have to believe everyone? Can you hang onto your own pride of your child and get him tested later down the line if you think there is a horrible problem. And honestly why does everyone want robots in their classrooms?

The problem is that he is going to need to be able to sit down and behave, rather than run about the classroom when he starts Kindergarten next year. Uniqueness is a wonderful thing, but being disruptive is not. I think that if I were you, I would encourage my son to remain a unique individual, but to conform somewhat to what everyone else is doing, as that is a very important character trait, as well, that he will need to be able to master for the rest of his life. If you really feel that the teacher dislikes your son (which I highly doubt), then perhaps you should transfer him to a different class. I do, however, think that under no uncertain terms, he should be told that running about the classroom during teaching times is unacceptable. Good luck to you and your son!

We were once at a preschool/daycare that wasn't really happy about handling children with individual personalities like your son and mine. Mine is also a reader and solo flyer sometimes. This daycare put my son in several time outs because he wouldn't stop reading to come and color or play with the group. When they called me to tell me about it I told them in no uncertain terms that we don't punish him at home for reading and neither will they. Also, they put him in time out for breaking the crayons once. When I asked him why he did it, he said that he knew no crayons meant no having to color. Wise beyond his years! LOL

Try to find a preschool that is more of a fit for your little one. I don't like that the teacher criticizes your son in front of the class....however, maybe she's overly frustrated and has a specific lesson that she's being required to follow and can't figure your son out. Also, he may be too advanced for the lessons he's learning in class and his acting out is his way of expressing his boredom. He may need more of a challenge to settle him down.

Running around the classroom while the other children are doing what the teacher asks is not "uniqueness". It is refusing to follow directions (more likely) or (less likely) a developmental delay to the point where he cannot handle the same setting as other four year olds. If it is preschool not child care the teacher is likely to be a certified teacher (if not find a different school) but whether she is a HS graduate or has a Master's she can recognized a disruptive child and she MUST ask that child to stop disrupting the learning of others, unless she is as Steph C put it JUST a glorified babysitter which means what? she should not care about the learning of her class and should stop acting like she is an educator (WHERE did your kids go to preschool Steph?just cuz you settled for a glorified babysitter as a teacher doesnt mean that's the norm)and just allow all children to run around all day. I would pull my child out of a preschool where children were permitted to run around all day. If the teacher is berating your child complain to the director immediately, ASK for a one on conference ASAP to discuss your child, do not settle for quick talks at pick up or emails you need to know what is going on in preschool. if you cant communicate with the teacher ask for the director to attend the next conference. if you dont want your child to follow rules, do not put him in school. Ever.

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