I have a 10 month old little boy who has not slept through the night yet. He is breastfed exclusively and still wakes up every 2 hours. I think he nurses just to fall back to sleep because he does not know how to self-soothe. I have tried letting him cry, but he just screams and sits in his crib. I also have a toddler so I do not get a chance to rest much during the day and I am so tired. I have tried giving him formula in the past couple weeks to see if he sleeps longer, but it doesn't work. He needs to be nursed and rocked in order to fall and stay asleep. I feel like I still have a newborn and I do not know what to do.
I am sorry I failed to mention that my son does eat baby and table food. He loves to eat!!!! When I wrote breastfed exclusively I meant I had never given formula to him except for in the past two weeks.
Thanks to everyone for all the great advice. I didn't mention in my request,but my little guy does sleep in bed with me. I have been working on getting him in his crib and have been reading the books suggested. He did sleep for a four stretch for me a couple weeks ago and he is learning how to self-soothe. I am gonna keep trying the techniques suggested and am hoping I will get a full night sleep in the near future.
Jennifer, I also had that problem with my daughter, she would never cry herself to sleep and she used the breast as a way to self-soothe and fall back to sleep. I was not getting any sleep either, so I moved her from the crib to my bed. This worked and we both seemed to get the sleep we needed. However, she was 2 years old before she would sleep in her own bed by herself. Good Luck
I know it would be hard on you but I think you may need to let him cry it out. Does anything else comfort him such as a blanket, toy, etc.? I know what you're going through. I woke up so many mornings holding my in the chair. You know he's not hungry-I suggest letting him cry it out.
I have been married for 8 years and we have two boys 5 and 3.
Hi J....my older brother died when my daughter was 3 months old. I had to get some sleep, I was overwhelmed with his death and having a new baby. So I did some research and found this book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It changed my life. My daughter is now 2 and she goes to bed at 6pm and waked up at 7:30am ...everyday! It is wonderful. I get all those night hours to work on projects and pay bills, watch TV or read....even spend time with my husband when he is not at the firehouse! I would suggest going to the library and reading this book!
I hope it all works out for you and your family!
Sincerely,
J. A
I feel your pain. My daughter was exclusively breastfed. I started to notice she wasn't really that hungry at night although she was waking and crying and I was feeding her. A friend told me about a book "Good Night, Sleep Tight the Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping your Child go to Sleep, Stay Asleep, and Wake up Happy" by Kim West. I like this book because it tells you how much your child should be sleeping at night and napping during the day and lots of other advice I've found works for us. We didn't follow all of her advice but this is what worked for us.
Basically we let her cry (Ferber style-soothing her at gradually lengthening intervals) for one night and the next night when she cried I soothed her and she went back to sleep and now sleeps through the night. I think the first night she cried for an hour and the second less maybe half an hour. It was tough to lie there and not feed her but I really really wanted to be able to sleep through the night.
For a while we had a dream feed. I would wake her at 11:00 p.m. to feed her so she only had to sleep 7 hours straight. I cut that out two weeks ago because she didn't seem to need it (and I wanted to go to bed earlier).
It worked best when I soothed her because I was the breastfeeding one, when my husband soothed her I thought she was still crying for me.
Pick a night to try this, we all missed some sleep but since we didn't plan ahead my husband still had to go to work the next day.
It's tough, but the reward is great!
Hi Jennifer no books here to recommend.But from my experience,I can tell you cosleeping helps tremendously.I breastfeed my 9 month old baby boy exclusively and has been cosleeping since he was 5 month old.This really helped me catch on,on my sleep since I work full time.
I am not worried about him getting spoiled as long as we both get a good night sleep.I plan on taking things as they come.And besides these are the golden days,will never comback.I am enjoying every minute of sleeping with my baby.When ever he wakes up at night I just nurse him to sleep.Many a times I doze off before him while he is still working at my breast!!
Try it you will be happy!!
is he eating baby food or solids at all??????
You don't mention baby food or cereal. By this time, he should be old enough to eat regular food which would help you out termendiously! (As long as there are no other health problems preventing him to do so). I would suggest starting with cereal: baby rice or oatmeal. Give each food a little bit at a time 2 meals a day, for 3 days and then add another one. This should help keep his belly full for much longer! Best of luck!
One of the things that helped me was putting background noise on during the night (and sleep time). I bought a CD of the Ocean, let it repeat all night, and seemed to keep him calm and soothed.
Just an idea. :-)
K.
Hi Jennifer,
I had a baby who would not sleep through the night. Actually, she only started sleeping through the night when she was about 2 1/2 , and that 's even with one quick wake up needing me to just pat her back to sleep. I know many people have many different opinions about the whole sleeping through the night thing. I personally would let your 10 month old sleep near your bed. (or even with you) Sounds like your little boy likes nursing and is very attached, in my opinion, that's good. But, you need sleep, and that's that. I did a very (VERY) slow progression of letting my daughter be independent at night, and , as we speak is falling asleep on her own with no crying. Obviously, Jake is not ready to stop nursing and he wants to be near you. But I know the stress of not getting sleep. Check out one of my favorite parenting gurus Dr. William Sears on askdrsears.com He is a pediatrician , professional parenting author, etc. He is great! Hope this helps. PS I agree with Amy A!!!!
It might help you sleep if you bring him in bed with you. I co-slept with my son and it made it more relaxing nursing him at night because when he woke up I was right there and I hardly had to wake up at all. Half the time he just wanted to snuggle up to me anyhow, so it was really easy. I think it was good for us--and my husband liked snuggling him, too. It was really sweet.
I know your pain. I bf both of my boys and neither one would sleep for more than 2 hours through the night. This was a natural routine for my babies. Their little internal time clock would wake them up and have the need to nurse. I talked to their peditrician and she said that they were at a healthy age and weight to start doing away with the night feedings. Her suggestion was to immediately stop the night bfeeding, and use a bottle with (room-temp) water. This takes care of their urge to suck. Since water does not fill them like a bfeeding midnight snack, their bodies (and internal time clocks) quickly (within a couple days) adjusted to not feeling the urge to nurse during the night. It weaned them from the night feedings without to much fuss.
I very strongly agree wityh everyone who is telling you to try cosleeping. You will get a lot more rest, and your little boy will probably wake up much less because he senses your presence.
The best advice I ever had on sleep came from 2 books - both relatively short and quick reads - Baby Wise & Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Hate to refer you to a bok but truly found not only tips, but things I wouldn't have known/considered otherwise (e.g., at a certain age, most kids start to wake up 45 min. into their nap - but this doesn't mean the nap is over...etc.). Whatever you decide to do, it may take a bit of time to have everyone adjust so maybe you could get some nighttime help once in a while so you can catch some sleep? Also - what does your dr. say?
Try giving him a bottle at night (breastmilk or formula - hopefully he'll drink from a bottle for you - if not there is a bottle that I found for my daughter when she wouldn't use a bottle and I needed a break http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2449566) and then start watering it down until it is only water. He should not wake up for water once he realizes that what he's getting.
Also if he will take a bottle you might try pumping and have your husband wake up for some of the night time feedings so that you can get some rest.
Good Luck and God Bless
Mel
if you do find a solution to this please please let me know. my son still hasn't slept in his crib!!! and he's 7 mnths old. my husband is getting upset with me since i started cosleeping on the couch with our son. in the beginning he didn't mind but now that our son is getting older he doesn't want him getting used to sleeping with me. please let me know what happens. same sit., nurses to sleep, tried the formula too and that seemed to make him worse, started foods thinking they may help but haven't. and now the more active he gets the less he wants to sleep. did your son get like that even more once he started crawling and moving? help!!! S.
good luck to you too!!
I would highly recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It has a lot of suggestions to help. We have it at the library in Nicholasville, so I'd think they'd have it at the Lexington libraries also. If not, ask them to do an inter-library loan.
It helped so much with my little girl when she was that age. She was breastfed also, and when she'd wake in the night (we cosleep) she'd always nurse and it often woke me. One thing I remember that worked so well was as soon as she latched on and started to flutter-suck (you know when they're not really nursing anymore b/c they're alseep), I'd insert my finger in her mouth to break the latch. Usually she'd just readjust and wiggle a second or two, but she stayed asleep. After a few nights of that, she didn't even start the nursing in the first place.
There are other suggestions in the book that you might find more helpful since you're not cosleeping, but it's a really great book. Hth!
Hi Jennifer,
I can relate to the no sleep. I have two toddlers only 20 months apart. My youngest didn't sleep through the night until he was around 13 months old. He slept in his crib, but wasn't able to soothe himself back to sleep either. We were in a bad habit of rocking him or holding him after he woke up, which was every few hours. He also would scream for a long time when we tried to let him cry it out. Here is what has worked for us. When he wakes up & doesn't need to be fed or changed try just sitting in his room. Go in his room lay him back down & sit in a chair across the room. My son cried & scream for about 10-15 mins, but then finally laid back down when he could see we were still there. Now every time he wakes up we just sit in the chair & he will go back to sleep on his own. Same thing for when we first put him to bed at night. He did start sleep through the night after a couple weeks.
Best of luck! Hope you get some sleep soon. I really do feel for ya.
M.
I've never used one of these forums so forgive me if I babble a bit!
Hang in there. I think you're on the right track. I breastfed all 3 of my kids. They are 18 mo. apart each so I understand how tired you must be now! Your baby may just need to learn to soothe himself. The good news is that now is probably the perfect age to start.
My first son wouldn't sleep without being nursed, held and rocked. This extended into naptime routines too (try to avoid this - it will be so difficult when they're older). I would always nurse them back to sleep because I felt bad letting them cry and didn't want to wake up the other kids. I tried a different approach with my third and it paid off much more quickly!
My third son is a great sleeper now! They don't learn to soothe themselves overnight. It will take some time - hopefully a week or less. We started when he was 10 months as well. We have a very consistent bedtime routine. I tell him that after books we're going to sleep. The baby turns off the lights after we read (I help him too). Then I put him in bed, say our goodnights and tell him that I'll see him in the morning. We always turn on the FP aquarium too. Then I set a limit in my own head, i.e. don't let him cry more than 30 minutes. The amount of crying cut in half almost each night. Then we were done.
Once he learned this then going back to sleep when he awoke at night was much easier. I relied on my husband to help wean the baby from the night feedings. My husband would get the baby when he awoke, check his diaper and put him back to bed with a little soothing (and the aquarium). Once the baby stopped expecting me to nurse him, he just would go back to sleep on his own.
I hope this detailed information is helpful!
Despite what other people might say, rocking and nursing your baby to sleep and cuddling him as much as he needs definitely are not bad habits. You are just meeting his needs, and for whatever reason he has a need for lots of extra love and comfort. My daughter is the same way. At 17 months old she has never slept more than three hours at a time, she still nurses often. It can be extremely exhausting, but it won't last forever. Try to remind yourself that he'll only be a baby for a short few years, that's not very much time compared with all the years of a lifetime. You are doing a good thing by meeting his needs!
I know exactly how you feel, my son would wake up quite a few times at night to nurse, and sometimes as soon as I tried to lay him back in his crib he would wake again and need to be rocked back to sleep. Finally at about 9 months I couldn't handle it anymore. But if you are like me it was so hard to listen to him cry, and 5 minutes of him crying felt like an hour. So I found a book by a woman called "The Sleep Lady", that was enough for me. We bought it and loved it. Within a week my son was sleeping through the night. He is 2 years old now and didn't even have any problems when we moved him to his "big boy" bed.
The book is called, Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West.
Good Luck.
hi. you may have already tried this, and i know it is old fashioned, but especially at that age, have you tired giving him some cereal or something before he goes to bed to make sure his tummy is full? good luck. and take care.
C.
