Needing Advice for Trouble 5 Year Old

No it is not a phase, you need to get him some help. I would start with a psychologist or possibly a psychiatrist in case he needs to be medicated and you decide that is something you want to consider. It sounds like he may just be in a terrible place and needs some help getting out of there. He could have a chemical disorder like you or it could be something else. But it would be better to know and be aware than being on edge trying to deal with it and the constant worry you must be going through.

J.,
I think if I were in your possition, I would definitely talk to your dr about it. Yes, it could be a phase but in my experience with kids that phase usually doesnt last this long. Jealousy of a younger brother or sister coming into the world is normal, but trying to smother them is not. Something may be going through your little ones head that the drs need to be aware of before he seriously hurts someone or himself.

I wish you the best of luck with this one.
Nicole

It sounds like there are issues of jealousy combined with serious anger issues in your child. I would suggest you have him speak to a therapist and probably begin seeing a family therapist yourself for the simple facts that as mums we all need support at all times in all aspects of our children's lives. There is no easy fix for this situation. Let him feel included and don't shut him out while taking care of baby always be aware of his presence because he's aware of every aspect of your behaviour and how things have changed with the new baby and this is causing anxiety in your 5 year old.

I'm stepmom to an 8 year old boy who lives with me - who's biological mother has BPD, he has BPD. I feel like you have no choice but to take him for an evaulation. Stressors bring on cycles; they DO start early - hard to put a finger on it and call it BPD - but close monitoring by a professional is necessary. 'Trying' to smother your baby - may be a success in the future. This is a horrible reality - but your son may not be aware of his strengths, or in line w/ his emotions at the time. A professional opinion may help at this point.

I look at it like this - if you thought there were a possibility your 5 year old couldn't see well - wouldn't you take him to the eye doctor? Same goes for BPD - if you think he may be genetically predisposed, then take him to start some evaluations. End result may be that your doctor says therapy and close monitoring at home is all that is nec. at this time - but isn't worth peace of mind for your family AND your son?

Good luck - feel free to send me a private message if you want to.

YOu definitely need to seek expert help immediately this is NOT normal behavior.

Definately talk to a doctor and get him evaluated extremely soon....you said that it had been going on even before the new baby got there, so while jealousy may be making it worse, it is not the actual cause of the problem. If I were you I would get him seen and evaluated asap even if you are just the tiniest bit worried, especially if he tried to smother the baby....I honestly believe that going through the stress of the tests to see if something is seriously wrong would be A LOT easier than dealing with the stress and trauma if he should do something to harm himself, or someone else....
Good luck, and I wish you and your family the best! Hang in there....

My son was having the same problems.He is 4 and in pre k. I took him to the doc. and she put him on meds. I found that he my be adh or bpd .I not saing your son is. My son is also seeing a therapist. But since his been on the meds he has been a tolly diferent child.You need to take him to a expert. I thought the same thing u did that my son was to young to be adhd. Now they are leaning towards adhd.

I would do as others have stated about going to see a doctor. It could a medical problem.

Hi J.,

I will definately seek out help. You may have passed on an inherited gene that is affecting his behavior. The last thing you want is that your child be labeled at school. This will only cause more problems. He is obviously feeling jealous about the baby. Get help now, before an unfortunate accident will happen. Good Luck and take care.

Hi J. my name is H. lemme tell you a little bit about my situation. I have a seven yr old stepdaughter who has done a couple of harmful or potentally harmful things to her sisters. I caught her one day trying to choke my baby girl who was two at the time. Now being that she is not biologically mine made my temper rise more so than it would have it she was. However I didnt sleep for some time thinking about what COULD have happened. Anyways her dad is a slacker when it comes to getting her counseling or doctors. Here is what I can tell you if you live in Hampton they have the Healthy Family Partnership if you need the number let me know. ____@____.com is my email. But they can help with some in home counseling where they come and talk to the child and spend some one on one time with him, and also if they think something medically is wrong, they will request a psych eval. Another thing to try is asking his school if he is in kindergarten to do what they call a child study on him. We have done all this with kylie at our house and she is just starting the in home counseling meetings. Hopefully this helped.
H.

I am a mother of a 3 month old and a getting ready to turn 5. She is very very jealous. I have had to make just Maddy time and do somethings with her only and even if my son crys, I have to finish what I am doing with her. She just seems to need her mommy b/c she has been the only one for almost 5 years. I am lucky that so fat she has not tried to hurt him, but she does get him our of bed when I tell her not to. I have talked with the peditrician about her behavior. He and I have worked to gether to work on the attitude that I get from her and my husdand also finally got on board when he was actually seeing an inprovement. It takes all involved to get help.