Needing Help Turning Infant into a Night Sleeper So I Can Go Back to Work

I'm sorry to tell you but a two week old baby will be on that "awake at night" schedule for a while longer, that's how all babies are and they just slowly merge into sleeping more at night. The one thing I know is to never wake a sleeping baby, they are sleeping so much in the beginning because they need it. Usually, the more a baby sleeps, the happier and less fussy she'll be, AND the more a baby sleeps, the more she'll sleep. I know every baby is different but with my son, if he takes a long nap, he'll sleep better and longer at night. Just know that it takes some time before they are ready to sleep more at night. Good luck!

Hi L....go out today and buy the book "The Happiest Baby on Block" by Harvey Karp, MD. It's a pretty quick read and it will change everything for you I promise. It's totally normal for babies to be on this "noctornal" schedule to start with. Thanks to that book I had my daughter turned around in no time and sleeping through the night by 8 weeks old. If only I had had that darn book with my first daughter!

Good luck!

L.

P.S. Stay at home mom to 8 and 5 year old girls.

I won;t be much help since my daughter is 2 and just started sleeping through the night about a month ago! But your baby is only 2 weeks, so you have to be patient! She will start to sleep more during the night and not be awake for such long periods of time, although most babies continue to need some kind of nighttime parenting for a long long time (nursing, rocking, bottle, etc.) I suggest a wonderful book called the No Cry Sleep SOlution by Elizabeth Pantley. That has some great suggestions for gently helping babies to sleep more the way their parents wish they would. But really, sorry to say, you just have to be patient, and believe me, i know it's not easy, I'm not trying to make light of it at all. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues- check out this book, it may help!

We used a scheduling system described in a book called "On Becoming BABYWISE". It is by Ezzo & Bucknam. There are 2, you want the first (purple & pink, not green & blue). The idea is that you feed your baby on a schedule determined by you, not the baby, about every 3 hours if I remember correctly. It came highly recommended with our firstborn (we received it as a gift), and I was skeptical at first. It is AMAZING though. It really works. Our 2nd & 3rd were twins, and we definitely appreciated the system then! The book is not too long to read through, and it is definitely worth trying. I have since recommended it over and over, always with positive results. Hope this helps.

My son is now 16 months old and still wakes up once a night so I KNOW how you feel. What I found worked best to get him better at not being up at night was to keep him busy during the day. Even if he was napping, I kept the radio or TV on in the room with him so it wouldn't be a deep sleep, kept all the lights on, moved him from room to room with me, treated him as though he was awake. Then at night, I did the opposite. I kept all the lights off and kept things very quiet. When I changed his diaper I did not play with him or interact with him, same with feedings. I did everything in the dark and very quietly without talking, singing, or playing. This let him know after a while that day time was for being awake and night time was for sleeping. If he had just eaten and been changed and wasn't going back to sleep, I would leave him in his bed and go back to bed myself. Granted, I didn't always sleep, knowing that he was awake in there but HE didn't know that and eventually he got the idea that he needed to sleep.

For now, during his "training period" by all means, SLEEP when he sleeps, but do it the same as he does with lights on and noise so when he wakes up it will be "day" for him too.

I know how you feel completely. I felt SOOOO tired and he was up like every hour until he was 6 months old and then cut it to every 2 or 3 hours. Now he usually gets up once around 4 am and won't go back down until he has a drink of milk.

Wish I had some miracle advice for you, but I have found that until the child nearly doubles their birth weight or is almost 3 months, the daily sleeping and nighttime wakefulness doesn't stop. If you can encourage your daughter to stay awake more during the day with stimulating activity, it might help, but usually that won't happen until she is a little older.
It will get better, but think of it this way - for 9 months you rocked and soothed the baby all day long in the womb and at night you rested and the baby was active. It is a hard habit for them to break.

Hi L....
I don't have any spectacular advice to add to this...just a quick piggy back off of the comment that said to be cooler in the day and warmer at night...My daughter was a night owl too for the first 3 months of her life. The only thing that finally worked for us was that everytime I needed to feed her, be it with breast or bottle I would get her completely undressed down to her diaper in the daytime so that the cool air would stir her awake...she would get mad at first because it was waking her up, but she got over it as soon as the milk came her way. My daughter is now almost 15 months old and sleeps through the night unless she's teething or is ill. I know some people have told you to turn everything off at night and keep it super quiet, but that didn't work for us either. I keep a radio on at night for my little girl...VERY low, so that you can barely hear it, but it seems to work for us. I also make as much noise as possible when she sleeps during the day so that she's not such a fussy sleeper. When she was first born I would bang pots and pans, vacuum, etc...Anyway, I hope you can figure your new miracle out soon. Best of luck!

Hi L.! I would completely recommend co-sleeping, especially if you are away from each other during the day. You both need this time for bonding. Does she keep you awake when she sleeps with you? I'd give yourself a chance to get used to sleeping together before deciding to take the hard road and "make"her sleep by herself. I was hyper vigilant at first too. But what you'll find its easier to keep tabs on them when they are nestled in beside you than when they are in another room. Just to give you an idea of how I do it. My six yo daughter sleeps above our queen in a loft bed while my 18 month old son and I sleep below. Sometimes Daddy too snuggles in but he isn't used to the squirreling around that I do nursing my son in the night so he doesn't get as good as sleep. But I know if he did it more often, he would!;-) I am totally going with the kids will tell me when they want their own bed and their own room and until then, I am just happy to sleep with them. If I want "special" visits with hubby, that is what we use the spare bedroom for!

Peace during this special time,
K.

Try having "lights out" starting at 7 or 8 p.m. every night, where you keep the lights low, TV off, etc. When she's up at night, don't talk to her or make much eye contact with her. This will let her know that it's time to sleep. Also, you do want to have her awake for short periods during the day, but don't try too hard to keep her awake, because she might get overtired, which will make it even harder for her to sleep at night. Good luck, and things should be getting much better in the next week or two as she gets a little older!

Hey there!
My two cents...
First...
Get some sleep before you start back to work. I mean, if you are not sleeping much at all at night, and you won't sleep durning the day because you are worried about throwing off your 'circadian rhythm' I think that worry is unfounded. When we run our bodies with very little sleep, we become sleep deprived, and actually begin running a "sleep deficit" you will have to pay into at some point. So start today, if you can. You won't mess up your natural rhythm, you will just feel better before you go back to work.
Second...
Neither one of my babies slept all night at that age, and while some babies do at a month or so, most of them need to be fed at night for the first 3 months, and then, if they have a growth spurt, they may awaken for a feeding occasionally past 6 months...
No fun, but it WILL pass.
Now, my daughter does much better than my son did, and I believe it's partly due to the fact that she has never slept with us, has her own bed. That also made it harder at first, since they need to be held, and fed so often the first month of their lives.
I breastfed, and took to sleeping in the recliner in order to get sleep...you don't say whether she's bottle fed or not, but even if she's bottle fed and you feel you can't afford her to be awake, why not co sleep in a chair, a couch, so she doesn't get used to your bed, and has mama there?
Good luck!
I hope you have friends and family who are available to watch baby so you can sleep!
A.

Is there any way you can get a night job? Or maybe you could sell something like Isogenics or Zango, so you could work from home and maybe put your disorders in remission. Eventually by keeping her up during the day she should turn around her hours. Make sure you make bathtime soothing and at night and keep activities quiet at night.

L., I went through this just a few months ago. Napping in as much light and noise as possible, and night sleeping in dark and quiet will help teach her the difference between day and night. Also, co-sleeping makes a big difference, since your body rhythms help to regulate hers. And, I agree with the bonding comment, co-sleeping definately helps that.

Also, no talking and cooing and eye contact at night, just dim, quiet attending to needs will help tell her there is nothing fun at night (though she doesn't care much about fun for probably another couple weeks).

You will find that you baby just needs some time to learn what day and night is. That didn't exist in the womb.

My 6 month old sleeps at night, but certainly doesn't sleep THROUGH the night and still wakes every several hours. However, he does go right back to sleep after a quick nursing. It's hard, but you will get through it. Sleep whenever and wherever you can, your body needs it! Good luck!

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My 2 1/2 year old and my 4 week old did the same thing. For the first couple of weeks (or until they slept better at night) I kept the baby in a pack-and-play during the day where it's bright and keep his bedroom/crib for night time sleeping only. Also, at night you could try to keep the baby in a dark, quiet room. It took a couple of weeks for my boys to get used to the night/day time, but they did get it figured out. I hope that helps.

A 2 wk old baby should be mostly sleeping, waking every few hours, perhaps every 2-4 hours to be fed. It probably will be several months before she sleeps thru the night.

But you don't have to stay up with her. Feed her and put her back to bed. Co-sleeping helps a lot of mothers get more sleep.

Do you feed her on demand or try to have a flexible schedule. Perhaps a schedule will help her adjust to your schedule. It will probably take time to attain this.

My mother said that I was a night owl from the time I was born. And I still am. I like graveyard shifts, even. She couldn't change my sleep pattern. She either stayed with a sister or a sister came to stay with us for the first month after we were born. That's not so easy to arrange in today's world. But do you have a boyfriend or husband who could spell you on the night shift? Take turns so that each of you gets more sleep part of the time. Not getting enough sleep happens for all new parents.

I am a single mother and if I were in your situation I would co-sleep. There are baby beds that attach to the side of the adult mattress which makes it easier. That way you don't have to come fully awake. A friend of my daughter's said that eventually she didn't even wake up most of the time. Her babies found her breast and suckled while she slept and then they drifted back to sleep.

I would also suggest that your baby picks up on your tension and perhaps irritation when you go to her at night and thus feels anxious which keeps her awake. For myself, when I'm feeling that I'm not getting enough sleep I have a more difficult time sleeping. Being calm and accepting of the situation helps a lot.

L., I'm sorry to say that it's highly unlikely that a baby is going to be trained to sleep during the night this early. In fact, it's unhealthy because they're so small they need to eat around the clock to keep gaining weight and thriving. It really is in your best interest (and hers) to eat/sleep around the clock as much as possible, and to take the time you need from work to heal from the birth, bond with your baby, and get used to each other. My daughter (who was a preemie born at 34 weeks) has caught up with others her age and is only now sleeping through the night at 4 months, in part because of the introduction of cereal. And I consider myself lucky because I know people whose kids don't sleep for 6 months to a year!

Good luck,

Jules

Hi L..

I can sympathize with what you are going through, although I can only agree with what others have posted.

Most infants aren't capable of distinguishing night from day until they are at least 6 weeks old. After that, there is no guarantee that your little one will start conforming to your sleep pattern. The co-sleep idea is a good idea, especially if you are breastfeeding, although I have to admit that I had difficulty sleeping with my son in the room. I became hyperalert and couldn't relax enough to really fall asleep. I also had a hard time taking cat naps during the day while he slept, but I did at least try and lie down now and then. Even if I didn't sleep, it helped to at least stop what I was doing for a moment and rest my body.

The part about creating a calm environment after a certain hour is important. I second the not making eye contact or speaking to your daughter at night. This will help her to understand that there is a difference between day and night. During the day we talk, play, but at night we are calm and sleep, etc.

You might also want to try some aromatherapy, for both of you. Drink a cup of chamomile tea. Put a drop of lavender oil in a bowl of hot water (or use a lavender sachet) and place it next to your bed or your daughter's crib at night when you want to go to sleep. Chamomile and lavender are both very safe for use with infants and really help to relieve stress, aid sleep, and promote overall well-being. Give your baby a massage at bedtime. These things might sound silly, but personally I find that they help. Don't forget to take a multi-vitamin (I still take my pre-natals).

My son woke up every 3 hours for the first 6 months and he cried ALOT. He started sleeping through the night at 7 months. Everyone told me how hard it would be, but I could never have imagined exactly how tired I would be. It was so hard and there were times when I didn't have the energy to really enjoy being a new mom, but it did get better. My son is now almost a year old and even though I don't have as much energy as I did before he was born, I wouldn't change a thing.

Good luck. And go easy on yourself. You've just had a baby and it's important to remember that your body also needs to recover.

You bring back memories. My daughter was a day-sleeper for her first few months - boy, did I try everything to wake her during the day, but nothing worked. She gradually made the transition when her little body was ready for it, but until then, I was just desperately tired.

I'm so sorry to hear you have to go back to work so soon. Some babies just won't sleep nights for many months no matter what you do. Not what you want to hear, but it's simply true.

Babies are not little machines with adjustable dials, and you can't reason with them or medicate them to sleep. There is just no realistic way around it - babies come equipped with their own set of needs, and at two weeks, this almost universally includes night feedings and wakeful periods. Co-sleeping is a good idea if you can arrange it.

I wish you well. I remember how hard it was. Modern life makes it harder. But moms do survive. Take the best care of yourself that you can, nap when you have a few minutes, eat nourishing food, find reasons to smile. This is probably the hardest work you will ever have to do. And it will pass.

The bad and good thing is they sleep alot anyways for growth reasons, but it might be harder at this age, i read to put a cool cloth on thier forehead and cheeks and tickle there backs, and at night put them to bead late like 10 or 11 but before you do that late bed time feed her right before you go to bed, i do the late bed time thing and for the most part it works.

I suggested this book to another gal on this site, but "On Becoming Babywise" by Steven Ezzo(?) has worked wonders for me. I have used it with each of my 4 kids. The biggest key right now is to make sure she stays awake while feeding and for at least 5-10 minutes afterward... sometimes a very difficult thing to do! I re-read the book when I had my baby in December, and she was sleeping 7 hours straight at night and would go right back down after a feeding. She is 8 weeks now and is sleeping 9 hours. Hurray! Give this book a try! Good luck!

Hi- Just a couple of things to think about...light and heat. You should try to have her exposed to bright light during the day and darkness at night. Winter is darker and drearier and harder to have a distinct difference in light. The other thought is making sure she is not too bundled during the day, but plenty warm at night. Too warm can cause SIDS, but a little change between day and night is what you are looking for. I used to heat up the bassinet with a heating pad (on low for about 15 minutes) before putting my baby down (take the heating pad out once the baby is in), so it's warm and cozy. Expect change to happen slowly, but this might help. Good luck!

This isn't easy and right now...since she's so young, it might not even work. But you could try shortening the naps during the day. It's hard when they are this young. They sleep so much anyway and eat like food is going out of style. Not sure if this helps, but it's worth a try. Good luck! ~B.

Have you tried cold wet wash cothes on the feet? My son did the same and I ended up putting the cold wash cloth on his feet, he hated it, but it took a bit but I got him onto a regilar schedule after that. Good luck!

My advice is DO NOT GO BACK TO WORK.

You get only one chance to raise your children. YOU WILL HAVE REGERETS IF YOU GIVE UP VALUABLE TIME, TIME YOU CANNOT GET BACK.. Make changes in your life so you can be home with them, you will not be sorry. Money and things cannot replace love and caring and NOBODY loves your kids like you do.

S.

Hey there! and congratulations on your baby!

First of all, I heard a great piece of advice early on-- "sleep begets sleep"... which means if you let her sleep in the daytime, she will sleep at night too. Keeping her up is probably what is making her so totally unwakable when she finally does get to sleep.

Also, babies that young need LOTS of sleep, like about 16-20 hours of sleep each 24 hours, and the 16 hours will continue at least through age 6 months. So maybe if you let her sleep, she will sleep MORE.....even at night!?

Another thing (which I learned from my mother) is that any pattern in her behavior you think you have discovered will change really soon anyway-- so she is likely to try something different by next week.

And-- children do massive growing and developing while they sleep, so the more you let her sleep now, the more she will develop. Which is good, because sleeping during the night is actually a later stage than a newborn! She needs milk during the night too, so (to be perfectly honest) a realistic scenario is that she wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat and then goes back to sleep.

Finally-- try not to stress too much (easier said than done). The newborn time is just totally topsy turvy and the more you roll with it, the easier it is... also easier said than done.

I hope some of this helps-- hang in there!

Hi-
I have a three month old baby and I found the most useful is to putting him sleep on a schedule. I highly recommebd a book "The baby book. How to enjoy year one" by Rachel Waddilove. It brought sanity to our life after we started using the routine recommended in this book. Good luck!

I highly recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weisman. He explains the biology of sleep stages in the book, and helps to understand how the hormones that your baby produces lead to the day/night flip, and how naturally babies all will turn themselves around. There is little you can do, and waking her during the day probably will not help. In my experience this is a stage that lasts for a few weeks, then passes naturally on its own as baby's body and hormone production develops. Best to wait until 4-5 months old before starting any sleep training, until then babies are not ready for it.

I am definitely sympathetic though - it has been a very hard period to get through for me personally with my two, and I don't look forward to going through it again with my third (due in August). Try to get as much help as you can, and believe that "this too shall pass".

You needn't wait for years, either, to sleep through the night again. As I indicated, I sleep trained my kids at 4-5 months, both were sleeping 12 hrs straight by 8-10 months once they no longer needed their night time feeds (and dropped them on their own). It feels like forever when you're in it, but once they sleep soundly, the work of helping them learn is SO worth it. Check out the book I recommended, it's a lifesaver.

Good luck, and congrats on your sweet baby girl!!

L.,

Hi, Being a mom of 7 and 1 grand child,(along with working on a 8th pregnancy(trying)) who lives with us since birth.I can relate to what you are going through.
I always tried to make sure I never turned the lights on during the night,not even a night light.For then they think it is day time.
If breast feeding i always had the babies in bed with me,while nursing at night so i could if needed catch a few minutes sleep.That would be all I could offer in that area.For the most part mine came home and slept all night only 1 being the hardest for up at night. Baby will get on the right tract,sometimes it just seems longer then we wish it to be.
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L.,

I know it is difficult but you actually don't want your precious little one to sleep through the night yet. Babies are purposely designed that young to not sleep deeply and long for their survival. When they get up it is because they have needs that need to be attended to; like eating, remembering to breathe, etc. It won't last long so don't worry and it is completely normal. Just one of those things that comes with being a parent, taking the needs of your child above your own. Just know, it does get better. And I agree with one of the other mothers, sleep is VERY important for a newborn. With how young your baby is, let her sleep as much as she wants, it's important for her development. Also, the reason she is so turned around is because when she was in the womb, she was sleeping during the day (while you walked around and such for her to sleep), and was awake during the night (while you slept). So, it will just take a little bit for her to swap.

Hi L.,

Don't worry, your little girl has a lot to adjust to. Sleeping will soon fall into place, but she is only 2 weeks old, so dont worry too much about it. As time goes she will start to sleep a little less and you will be able to transition her. I have a 10 week old boy...first week he slept like a stone...second week not toooo much, woke up a lot at night and ofcourse would be cranky and stay up...So we both had to adjust a lot till he slowly found a pattern. I know it is tough, just hang in there and don't get too stressed out. There really is no miracle way to do it, try googling babycenter.com, i have found a lot of good advice there. ;-) Good luck! It gets easier with time.

Keeping her up more during the day is a good idea. I would also try to swaddle her at night. Swaddling, in my opinion, is the worlds best inventions. It calms them down immediately. I also use the chamomile and lavender lotion for sleepy time.

Hi L.,
I don't have any advice to get your baby to sleep through the night. I have a son w/special needs who is 15 and still doesn't! I told him years ago I was going to be tired for the rest of my life!

But I feel for you w/CFD and Fibromyalgia. I have a couple of friends w/the same thing and they've been getting some relief from a medicinal mushroom tea. Let me know if you want more info on it.

K. S

L.,
I can only imagine struggling with your own physical issues and adding a new baby being difficult, but remember this too shall pass. Babies are not little adults and their sleep patters are much different. I really recommend "The Baby Book" by Doctor Spears or his book called "Nighttime Parenting" His recommendations are sound and based in research. Be careful of those who will tell you to let them cry or put your baby on a strict schedule. Dr. Sears has great research as well as helpful advise. You need to know that the medical definition of sleeping through the night is a 5 hour stretch and that babies will waken 2-3 tims a night from birth to 6 months (info. from the Dr. Sears Baby book). Don't be dismayed a lot of the panic you might be feeling may be your own hormones changing. If you need to wake her, you can strip her of her clothes and tickle feet, but you may end up with a cranky baby. Make sure dad is helping at night it will help with bonding as well as take some of the stress off of you. Continue breast feeding, it may be hard now, but well worth it. New babies are so physically demanding, but enjoy this time because it goes by so fast. She may have been residing in you for 9months, but you are really just getting to know each other. Take lots of deep breaths, take care of yourself, allow your body to heal and know you will get through this.

L.,
Most infants less than a month old do not typically sleep through the night consistantly because they are still to young and need to feed regularly every 2 1/2 to 4 hrs. when they are newborns. Ocassionaly, they may sleep for several hours straight but it is not the norm. Some things that may help is giving them formula because it is more filling than breastmilk and would help them sleep longer at night. Unfortunately, some of this will simply take time to work out until your little girl can learn to seperate her days from nights so that she can learn better sleep patterns. Keeping her awake as much as possible also does not really help in the long run because newborns do really need to sleep alot for them to have good development. I would not let her sleep more than 4 hrs. during the daytime especially in the late afternoon so you can get her on a consistant feeding scheduale of every 2 1/2 - 3 hrs. one feeding during the daytime and when she is not feeding she should be sleeping. However at night your feeding could be stretched out longer if you are supplementing with formula and not breastfeeding. Breast milk is easily digested so their tummies will feel empty again but formula takes longer to digest so she will feel full longer. I breast fed my 3 kids & believe if you can that this would be the very best for them because of the antibodies in breast milk help fight infections that involve the ears, lungs,or bowel; but I also did not have to go back to work so I can't imagine how difficult it must be to continue to breast feed under those circumstances. It may be helpful for you at night to dim the lights when feeding, change diaper quickly after feeding and not to be to loud so that you can put her back to bed without to much activity. This is to slowly teach her the difference between daytime feedings and nighttime feedings. Whoever will be taking care of your baby when you go back to work will also need to try following the same feeding schedule inorder to get some consistancy. Without a feeding schedule, it will be difficult to teach your baby how to sleep during the day or in the night. Babys learn from us and the routine schedule will help them stay consistant and help you be more consistant and then you will be able to learn better your daughters eating patterns as well as sleeping patterns. Are you breast feeding and if so will you continue when you go back to work? It sounds like this would be very difficult considering already your lack of sleep and your medical difficulties. Typically infants do begin to sleep better after the first month but it all depends on your child and the stress level you both have at home. Babies have a keen sense of knowing when their moms are stressed out or not and they can sense when you are not happy and having difficulty with them. Although it is difficult if you can find time to take care of yourself, sleep when you can, eat well and try to exercise like walking (anything is helpful). In addition, see if there are others that you trust like family and friends that may be able to help you at times. If you are better able to take care of yourself then you will be able to take care of your little one better both emotionally and physically. Good Luck with all and hang in there don't be afraid to ask for help. P.S. I highly recommend this book, BABY WISE. God Bless, O. O.

HERE IS HOW, HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS HAPPY CHILD BY DR, MARC WEISSBLUTH. it covers eveything you need to know and since all babies are different this book hlep you to identify what course of action is appropraite for your child. I bought the book becasue my sons dr at childrens told me about it it was 10 bucks on amazon.com

Hi L.,

It's been a while since I have had a baby but I can remember taking a slightly cool wash cloth to make sure my baby stayed awake when I wanted her to stay awake. Most babies will adjust to your schedule. You just need to try it for a week and keep it really structured,This may mean that you might need to be home most of the time for that week as when you are out sometimes it is hard to keep on the schedule. Also I know it is hard to to not pick up a crying baby at night but sometimes you just need to let them cry a couple of times and they will learn that it doesn't work. If their bellies are full and they have dry diapers they should be ok!

Good Luck!