My daughter is 6 years old and typically gets along with the other girls in our neighborhood. I will start by saying she is one of the younger girls, most range from 10-12. The girl next door is 11 and has always played great with my daughter. Now she wants nothing to do with her and has told all of the girls to not even look at or say hi to my daughter. I understand if they don't want to play with a 6 year old but I don't understand why they are isolating her. She even looked at my daughter the other day and told her they were no longer friends.
Should I talk to her parents or let it go? She is the leader of this group...I don't want to cause more drama but my daughter is only 6 and doesn't understand what she did wrong. All of the other girls have always been very friendly, never had any problems. My husband and don't know what to do.
Sit with your daughter child and talk with her. Just explain that the other girls are growing up and then ask about activities she would like to get involved in. She will meet other kids good luck
It sounds like normal behavior to me. Just tell your daughter that older girls like to play with girls their age.
They are simply too old for her, they are prepubescent and not as patient with her as they used to be. They have different interests.
Let your daughter have some of her own friends over sometime. I know it's not as convenient as the neighborhood kids but she really should be hanging out with girls her own age.
Think about it, when you were in 5th grade or so, did you enjoy hanging out with 6 year olds? Probably not!
Please find some nearby 6 year olds for your girl to play with.
Tell her the older girls want to play with older girls.
Poor kid. :(
Lordy I get tired of the bully label being thrown around (not by OP). They aren't bullies, they are tweens whose bodies have been hijacked by hormonal alien beings. I agree with Jo W - I'm sure their parents are aware and have bigger fish to fry. If you are very close to the parents of the lead girl you might want to mention it in passing, just that your dd's feelings are hurt because the other girls don't want play with her although you understand why. That way they can talk to their daughter about being kinder. It won't change anything, they still won't play with her, but maybe she'll apologize to your dd. It's entirely possible that the other girls were teasing her about playing with a 'baby' and that explains her reaction. Tweens really are like another species, you can't necessarily assign motive to them logically, lol. Just because they are friendly in front of you doesn't mean they aren't catty to the other girl when they're alone.
TF gives you good advice, I'll just second it.
Don't speak to the other parents. They will talk about you behind your back and then you too will be isolated. Let it go and try to keep her away from the girls--outta sight, outta mind.
Aww! I feel bad for your daughter! Sadly, this 11 year old girl is choosing bullying behavior. My daughter is in Kindergarten and I am realizing that girls, regardless of age, choose hurtful actions. I found a book at Barnes & Noble called 'Stand up for Yourself and Friends' by the American Girl Company. It's been a great resource to help my daughter learn confidence when facing these situations.
Good Luck!
Welcome to the world of tweens. They have outgrown your daughter. Quite frankly, they are too old for her to begin with. Set up playdates for your daughter and explain to your daughter that sometimes people change and aren't very nice. I would use this as a teachable moment.
If you see this happening, walk over and ask the girl to please stop. Say that she doesn't need to act that way to a six year old and that she is better than that. Then leave it alone.
Not making excuses but it is the age. My daughter is almost eleven. Her older brother and sister were furious with her at Easter when she ganged up with her cousin and picked on her older brother who has Autism. She loves her brother but god it is like all about what will people think at that age. She is so insecure she would hurt her own brother, ya know.
I would explain to your daughter it is their age and not her. I am 99% sure their parents know and are trying to figure out where their nice daughters went.
Mine found herself a few hours later and apologized but then she was gone an hour later. :(
Sassy, is there a reason you don't consider talk to your daughter an answer to what you should do?
Oh the lovely tweens.... they are good/bad/evil depending on the mood and what breath they take at the moment... It does go away when they get older... :)
The older girls have outgrown your daughter. I would not talk to the parents because it more than likely will not help. Their daughter is going through normal changes in her body, hormonal, emotional and visual. If you talk to them, you could very well isolate yourself.
I would focus keeping my daughter away from the tweens.....I really don't think you would want girls 4-5 yrs older than your 6 yr old daughter influencing her. They are at different stages of play, entertainment, informations, etc.
My focus would be on playmates my daughter's age so she grows with the girls in her age range and is involved with things the girls her age are involved and intersted in.
If needed, use this as a learning experience for your daughter and let her know these girls are changing and becoming teenagers just like she will be someday.
Good luck.
Good luck.
I'm so sorry that your LO is being treated this way. Girls can be sooooo mean!
I'm torn on whether I would speak to the other child's mother. I probably would not go out of my way to do that, but if I happened to run into her while I was outside, I would mention it. I know that I would like to know if my GD were treating another child in the neighborhood like that. I try to teach empathy so we would be having some in-depth conversations about hurting people's feelings and the like.
Perhaps you can try to "accidentally" run into this girl outside and just very nicely tell her you're sure she didn't mean to, but she has really hurt your daughter's feelings. Tell her you understand that your daughter is much younger and you've always appreciated the way she played with her in the past and if she doesn't want to play with her anymore, you understand, but please don't be mean. There is no reason for that.
I'd say this really is a no-brainer. These older girls are on the brink of puberty. Different mind set altogether. And they can't be 'loaded down' with a baby. That's just how kids think at this age. They're starting to look at boys differently. And a 'baby'...well my heavens it's just not possible to have someone that little hanging around them! Heaven forbid.
Now all jesting aside, it really probably IS the best thing for your daughter. Honestly? When my kids were growing up, my middle son liked to hang around a kid only 3 years older. And the kid didn't mind, but his mom did think maybe it wasn't such a great plan. One in grade school, one going into junior high. Whole different ball game.
So if you've seen the 11 year old actually tell your daughter to her face that they aren't friends anymore, I would take her aside if possible and just gently convey that you understand her reasons, but that your sweetie is just 6 and doesn't understand what she's done to offend her. 11 yo's don't know tact. So it may have been the only way she knew to let your daughter know. She may have been embarrassed to have a 6yo tagging along and had to 'save face' with her peers. It's a normal phase. And if she's the 'leader' of this group, she's apparently setting boundaries and rules. They're only STARTING to grow up and haven't learned some of the gentler ways of dealing with others. But I agree that this ISN'T bullying. That's a phenomenon that's gotten WAY out of hand anymore!
I would explain to your daughter that the age difference does make a difference. They're interested in oooooo make up, boys, looks, etc. while 6yo's are more interested in playing dolls and stuff. Time to make some friends the same age.
I would just confront n ask what ur daughter did to find out n than I would let her know that those others can still play she's not the boss of everyone n that u pray for her. She's being n 11year old mean girl n ur daughter will face this and u need to put your foot down or ur daughter will end up being bullied. Actually a part of what the neighbor is doing is bullying.
All the other answers were great, but I believe your question was should you talk to the other parents or let it go? Depending on what type of relationship you have with the other girls parents, I think you should talk to them about their daughter's behavior. I can understand that the 11 year old may be feeling she is getting too old to play with a 6 year old, but that is no excuse for her behavior. It does souns as though she is being a bully and her parents need to know this and nip this type of behavior in the bud before it gets out of hand. If my child was acting like a bully I would hope someone would bring it to my attention, it would not be tolerated. Good Luck.
