D.M.
My husband and I adopted my 11 year old grandson in December for the same reason, if something happened to me he wanted to live with my husband, the ony dad he's ever known. His bio dad gave up his rights when he was 3 not wanting to pay child support and his mom came out of the military after 6 years and saw him 3 times in one month before she dissappeared for 2 years. We finally decided to file papers and she was located within 30 minutes of us, she signed over her rights with no contest, blames me for taking everything from her, dosnt want to have anything to do with us, apparently never has?!. I struggled with it because she is my daughter but my new "son" is completely great with it. She has not been a mom to him since he was 14 months old and he doesnt seem to be attached to her any longer. The court did appoint attorneys for my son and daughter to represent them at my expense but as my attorney said "he is worth it", now he feels safe and secure, and I dont have to worry about what could happen to him in the future. My daughter will always be welcome in our home and in his life, its up to her. Good luck!