I wrote a novel about my exhaustion surrounding cooking for my now Paleo husband. It was driving me to exhaustion. And boy can men be clueless when they are running you ragged if you don't speak up.
We had a very nice low key discussion. I was worn out doing all the planning/ shopping/ prep/ cooking/ etc. He was tired of coming home to very sporadic meals and a lot of nights of fending for himself.
He is an amazing man....I have been married to him for over 20 years at this point. He and I figured out how to make 2017 more stress free for me.
First, I will cook four nights a week....doubling the recipes each night for his work lunches and leftovers. One night is kids choice they get to have tacos, chicken tenders, spaghetti, etc easy for me and kiddo are happy with one night is theirs (I double or triple this nights recipe...so they have snacks and leftovers for other evenings when the bok choy they just tried is not working for them.) One night we are eating out...this was not an option up until his last raise...now it is a non-negotiable. And two nights a week are left overs, fend for yourself, graze through the fridge.
Also, hubby found me a quick and easy paleo cookbook that is awesome and I can work my way through it over and over repeating recipes about every month.
AND if I prepare a shopping list by Saturday bedtime...DH gets up early on Sunday and goes grocery shopping alone. I will only have to make a weekday trip if we run out of something or the kids need something not on the list. Which is a given. OH and did I mention that I cook he cleans...he is doing the dishes every night. Division of labor!!
I think I am more in love with him now than before...as he was so willing to work on this issue so we could both be happy and feel good about it. Eating healthy is important to both of us.
So, my question...what have you worked out for this new year? Or what have you and your SO figured out to make you both very happy when before the issue was causing great stress?
YAHOO!!! SO happy for you!
I got a "girls night out" on Friday's as being a stay at home mom to 2 under 2 was stressful.
I've been doing it for a good 10 years now, if not a little longer. Every Friday is mine. If I choose to stay home? I am TOTALLY ignored. Whew! Husband takes over dinner and clean up - I get to go out or order in and do what I want....and they act like I don't exist!! SSSWWWEEETT!!
well! i'm so happy that you resolved the situation so well all round!
doesn't matter whether or not it would be a solution that would please me so much. the fact is, you are clearly delighted, and i'm delighted for you.
the ol' man and i don't have any big stress issues, but we did buy each other a bowflex max trainer for christmas and are committed to doing the 14 minute workout every day for this month, and to intersperse it with other workouts after that. he's in much better shape than i, but we both want to do half marathons this year (he just needs to maintain, i need to claw my way back up to that level of fitness).
we're hitting upper middle age and want to enjoy and long and healthy old age. it's harder for me, as i'm the one who loves sugar, but we're supporting each other in continuing to work on it.
khairete
S.
Awesome compromise! Love happy endings! Thanks for the update!!
I haven't worked out anything so far this year but I'm really happy that you spoke up and your hubby stepped in to help out.
R., I'm really excited that you & your husband were able to HAVE A CONVERSATION and work things out. So many people get worked up about an issue, that they can't come back down & just communicate with their partner, so way to go!!
I am going into my last semester away from my husband & home, which has made communicating oh so difficult (who wants to have those serious talks during the short 24 hours you see each other each week?).
So this year, my NY resolution is to help my husband open up about the little things in a constructive way, (rather than holding onto them until he pops) & for me to listen & actively work on recognizing the things I do that cause frustration. Hopefully, I'll change some bad behaviors, & my husband will see the benefit of communicating on a smaller scale, towards happier, healthier outcomes.
T. :)
It is great you guys worked out something where you are not being expected to pick up the burden for his choices. If my husband suddenly decided to eat a restrictive diet (by choice, not out of true medical need) and expected me to do all the work related to it he would be cooking for himself every night, you eat what I cook or you don't eat (or you feed yourself) I am not a short order cook. But, if a good compromise was reached through respectful conversation as it appears has now happened with you, that is fantastic. Good relationships really do come down to communication and compromise.
It has been a long time since I have had a situation that caused me stress like that where he was the cause because several years ago we went to counseling and learned how to better communicate and listen to each other, so now we speak up before things become an issue.
As I started to read this, I felt sorry for you. Then, reading your sit down and resolve it attitude - I now think you're a rock star!! Good for you. Good for all of you.
