No End in Sight

YOU ARE NORMAL...SHE IS NORMAL!! My baby girl is 14 months old and just started sleeping through the night and this is not that uncommon. You will see soon enough with other posts that not all babies sleep through the night that quickly. My daughter also nursed 3 times a night up until she was 13 months old. It's not always this way and not every baby is this way, it's just that some are. Letting her cry for 5 or 10 minutes is good!! Your doing everything right. I know it seems like forever and it kills you but, she is ok. I have always given my kids 10 minutes to stop crying before I go in and check on them. Very rarely do I have to go in and check on them as they almost always fall asleep with in 10 minutes. If you are really that tire and need the sleep then I would supplement. Lack of sleep takes a toll on you, so you must take care of your self so that you can take care of her. I didn't want to do that with my first one, but my second one I saw that it wasn't going to hurt her if I did that. Your well being is VERY IMPORTANT!! You may want to purchase the book "Happiest Baby On The Block", it's short but very helpful. You will also learn to use parts of books and not use the entire book for your sole infomation on how to care for you baby. Every baby is different, you as a mom know what is working and what is not. Try not to wrry about what other people think (hard I know), but if it works, it works!! Enjoy your first year it goes by so quickly!!!!

Throw out the Babywise book and follow your heart/instinct/intuition. Your baby is communicating to you the only way she knows how. She needs you and that is normal. If you need more sleep, bring her to bed with you, so you can get some rest and fall asleep while she nurses. When she is older you can transition her to another sleeping area if you like.

Read Dr. Sears book, "The Baby Book", it is much more conducive to responding to a baby's needs.

You are a mother and you have all the knowledge that you need, just quiet yourself and do what is best for you and your baby.

Best to you,
A.
www.naturallyliving-clearskies.blogspot.com

Is she falling asleep while nursing? If she is, blow gently on her face to get her to start eating again or rub her cheek with a finger to wake her. Make sure she burps well for you also or she may wake in discomfort. I am breastfeeding my 4 month old and I went through this for a short time until I made sure she was feeding longer because for some reason, she happened to be getting a lot of air while bf or falling asleep. As for right now, the best I can say is lay down with her to bf her at night. If the crib is in another room, transfer it to your bedroom. You won't have to spend the time and energy going to another room, sitting in a rocker and laying her back down. It's hard to say what will work for you and your daughter.

Your daughter sounds like a very normal baby. At that age, it is an unrealistic expectation to have the baby sleep through the night. My daughter still wakes up once or twice every night (only for a few seconds), and she's 2 years old. So, getting up every 2-3 hours to feed at night is normal for a 7 week old. My daughter napped for about 45 minutes until she was almost a year, then she started napping for a longer period. Now at age 2, she naps about 2-3 hours each day. So, everything I am hearing from you sounds perfectly normal. There's not much you can do, since your daughter is so young, except try to adjust yourself to her schedule. Perhaps you could start supplementing with formula at night time. They have those ready to feed formula cans you can just pop open, and serve at room temperature. Then, you could switch off nights with your husband with feeding. My husband and I used to sleep at different rooms, and switch off taking care of the baby at night. Then, at least you would get a good night sleep every few days. It's hard taking care of a baby. Also, instead of trying to change the baby, it might be better worth your time trying to figure out how you and your husband can better adjust to the baby's schedule. Good luck to you!

i am 33 first time mom and read the baby wise now reading the second one and bought toddler wise. sleep when she sleeps and use sitters at times just to get some rest. letting her cry to sleep will help later. its hard but worth it. i gave him about a 15 minute window to cry and depending on if he is whiny (30 minutes) or screaming (15 minutes) did i go to him. my son is 14 months and i put him down for his 2 naps and bedtime and he falls asleep on his own. being on a schedule helps the child with comfort to know what is happening next.
can you pump right before bed and let your husband get the first feeding of the night? best of luck......

B. I am a 34 year old stay at home mom to to wonderful boys. I can say from exsperience that with the first one you tend to rely on what a book tells you to do instead of listening to your own self. My boys did not sleep through the night untill they were 3 to 4 months old. It's normal for them to want to feed every two hours or so and from what other nursing moms have told me babys that are breast fed tend to eat more often tham formula babys. The first 3 months are hard I know but I also know that it want last for ever. You will sleep again! Jen K

HI B.,
My first child was just like that. Don't buy into that my child sleeps the whole night. Most of the mom I knew where nursing and none of their babies where sleeping through the night. My daughter did not sleep through the night until after she turned 1. But the periods will get longer. Your duaghter could be going through a growth spirt right now and that might be why it seems to be getting harder. But what your doing nursing her is so worth it. You make this scarific for a short period of time that will benenfit her for a lifetime. She is only a baby for such a short period of time. I did not do the babywise, we cosleeped instead. Which I feel made my life easier. Just do what you feel is right and what ever it takes to survive. Don't let others push you into what they think is right. There is a great nurse support group at Mortan Plant Hospital in Clearwater. They meet twice a month on Fridays. They are all nursing and everyone shares what they are going through and you get great advice. You also realize you are normal and not going to go insane. It feels good to be around others going through the same thing as you. If you can make the drive it is so worth it. Not sure if there is anything like that in Tampa. You might be able to just get advise from them over the phone. They have a great lactation department. Just believe in yourself and how many moms before you have done it and survived. Best wishes.
M.

B.,
First of all, you are NOT a weak person or a wimp- simply a new mom who is exhausted by trying to provide the best possible nutrition and care for her child! Way to go for you!
I am also a new mom, taking a year (or more) off from teaching and exclusively breastfeeding, so we have a lot in common!
I don't know anything about Babywise, but I can share some advice about what has worked well with us. It sounds like your daughter is in the same category as my son, a short-napper. It is exhausting during the day, but at least I get some reprieve during the night, as James (my son) only gets up twice to feed and goes immediately back to sleep after about 10-15 minutes of nursing. We swaddle him and give him a pacifier and that soothes him right to sleep. I tried the white noise and that only agitated him even more. He prefers soft lullaby music/piano/classical instead. Have you tried any of those CD's?
Also, he takes a full 5 oz bottle of pumped milk from my husband at around 7- 7:30 and then is laid to sleep. He gets up twice a night for feedings and sleeps overall until 7 or 8 am. I still have to pump at night or I'm really uncomfortable, too.
I know this is exhausting for you, but don't give in just yet. Who knows, the formula may not even help her sleep better. I'm reading the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Marc Weissbluth and it is full of good information, too! Just remember, "this too shall pass." My son is about 9 weeks old and finally getting into a good nap and nighttime routine. It just takes practice and time. Starting at around 6:30, we turn on some soft music, give him his evening bath, put on his pajamas and then finish it off with the bottle feeding. I keep playing the soft music as I lay him down and he drifts off to sleep. Yes, this took some time to develop, but now it is soo worth it. As for daytime naps, try playing the same soft music when she first gets sleepy. Don't wait until she has been up over 2 hours and is exhausted. Remember, babies need only to stay awake 1-2 horus at a time. Then, start working to soothe them to sleep.Rock her and try to put her down semi-asleep. If/when she cries, soothe her and try to keep her in a restful, sleeping state. It will be easier to get them to sleep and they will actually sleep longer. Sleep begets more sleep! I've actually let my son take a few naps lying on his stomach (gasp!) I ONLY do it during the daytime when I can check on him every couple of minutes, but he sleeps SO much longer and better. I don't know about your daughter, but his head and neck muscles are pretty strong so he can lift and turn his head on his own. Obviously, only do this if you are comfortable with her development and strength so that she doesn't suffocate.
I know you are exhausted, but hang in there just a few more weeks! I hope this helps, sorry it was so long, but no one said that mommy-hood was a piece of cake!
Take care,
K.

B., I dont know what to tell you. My son never slept through the night til he was well over a year old. I nursed for 23 1/2 months. Are you nursing her til she falls asleep? This isnt a conducive method down the road but if it gives you the rest you need go for it.

Hi B.,

I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom to a 5 month old boy. I read Babywise (twice), Happiest Baby on the Block, etc. but it all went out the window when my little guy was diagnosed with acid reflux. Sometimes he would need to breastfeed every hour with only a half hour break in between. He also didn't take more than 15-20 minute naps until he was 3 months old. My suggestions would be to rely on family and friends as much as you can. When your husband comes home from work, have him watch the baby for 30 minutes or more while you lay down for a nap. Or, go over to a friend or relatives house and have them hold the baby while you take a nap. Also, we started Attachment Parenting (www.askdrsears.com) which helped our little boy with his reflux and his ability to relax and sleep. I belong to a nursing moms group at Morton Plant. We meet twice a month which is a great opportunity for you to get support, advice and to just get out of the house :-) Send me a message and I'll pass along the info to you. I hope you can come!

Hi B.,

I think you're doing all the right things and it's just really hard for you right now. With my son, he didn't really sleep through the night until well past 7-9 weeks (maybe more like 5 months) - which probably isn't what you want to hear but don't worry that she's not sleeping through yet. Each child is so different. I was so exhausted always getting up to feed him, and I think I often felt like a walking zombie during the day. Is there some way to get her to nap longer, like taking her out for a drive? We used to do that then bring my son into the house in the carrier and he'd sleep for awhile. Try to nap whenever you can, even if it's just the 45 minutes she's asleep. I also think it could be a good idea to supplement with formula - maybe that will help. I know how hard it is to let them cry but it's alright, really. Hang in there and you're not alone! (I am expecting my 2nd baby in a couple months -- not looking forward to all this again!)

T.

hey you are not doin anything wrong my daughter is 2 and still doesnt sleep all night all kids are different and you do need a break even if it is just a 10 min walk take a break and it is ok to let her cry when she is done check on her and make sure she is ok she will get use to you not tendin to every cry and you will learn how o tell if it is a hold me cry i want to eat cry they cry for all different reasons and they do sound different take some time to your self you are not a bad mom and breath always breath

My daughter did not sleep through the night until she was 9 months, and still only takes 20-45 minute naps and she is 13 months old. We tried everything except for crying it out. No book can tell you what is best and what will wrok. EVERY CHILD is different and EVERY PARENT is different. Forget those stories, there is no miracle child that does everything by the book. You may have a child who is not a sleeper, but may be a great eater. I personally have never heard of a child sleeping through the night that young!! If someone has one, God Bless them. It does get easier, i know right now you do not think so, and when my daughter was still not sleeping through the night at 6, 7 months, I questioned myself all the time, but it finally clicked that no matter how many people you talk to who tell you how they're child did this or that, the MORE people you talk to, will be honest and tell you they all go through similiar challenges. many people told me it'll get easier and I wanted to punch them because it wasn't, but now that i am here, I see that while the sleeping got better, something eles came up to challenge me. Your baby is normal and is very young to be sleeping through the night. I think her sleep patterns are normal. Hang in there. i know it's hard and you feel desparete. Good Luck!

I don't even know what babywise is, but I've never been big on other people's programs. I am a mother of five children, 12-2. I nursed all of them. they all woke up way more frequently than any book said they should. I literally felt like I was slowly dying from lack of sleep. And I was NOT enjoying those "magical" first few weeks of bonding with the baby. I just wanted the baby to sleep, so I could sleep. I will not tell you what to do, just tell you what worked for me. They all slept in bed with myself and my husband. Not because of any book or theory, because tway I could dose back off after they nursed,, and they slept for much longer stretches next to me than they ever did alone. A few options if you are concerned about rolling over on them. there is a small co-sleeping device, only costs around 50$, has strong plastic sides and a little night lite, goes between you and husband, baby goes in it, but you can rest with your hand holding the baby's, or touching them in some way, which lets you and baby sleep more deeply in my experience. You can find this at Babies'r'us. Also an option, the co-sleeper that goes next to your bed, also so you can sooth baby back to sleep without waking yourself up all the way. Some of them rock, so you can just nudge it for a couple of minutes. I know some hubands have issues with babies in the bedroom (especially after the cost of the nursery, right?) Mine did too. But almost immediatly he realized that some of that new mommy crabbiness wasn't hormones, just lack of sleep, energy and sense of failure for not being happy as a 'new mom'. And if you really don't want to start formula, don't. it didn't work for my kids. Taking a walk outdoors really knocked them out, dancing and singing with them in arms before bed, massaging with lotion, any type of ritual you can start that leads them to bedtime is good. It will save your life when they are two and start battling with a vengence against bedtime. Hope you get some sleep.

First off, I just want to say breastfed babies eat more than formula fed babies. With my first daughter, one of the nurses at the hospital told me to b-feed her every 2-3 hours, and if I decided to switch to formula, she should eat every 4-5 hours. Now, my first daughter was a dream baby, she slept hours at a time during the day, and slept thru the night at 1 month. But my second daughter was like any "normal" baby, waking up at first every 3 hours. Then she started not sleeping more than an hour between bottles, and just got worse to the point where she would fall asleep on me but within 5 minutes after putting her down she would be awake again. Turns out she has colic and acid reflux. It's safe to say your daughter doesn't have either one, since she is only crying for such a short amount of time, but if you notice that her not sleeping and crying keeps getting worse, it wouldnt hurt to ask her dr. That being said, it was actually my daughter's gastroenterologist who made a suggestion that helped get her sleeping thru the night. Keep in mind I formula feed, so perhaps if you decide to try it, you could adjust the schedule to what works for you and your daughter. He told me to feed my girl every 3 hours and if she happened to be sleeping, wake her up. And at night let her wake up on her own. It took about a week and she was sleeping about 6 hours at a time. Now (she'll be 3 months on the 3rd and I started doing this at 1 month) she goes about 10-12 hours at night. Once I knew she was set in her schedule I stopped waking her up during the day, and I now feed her only on demand. My daughter still doesn't sleep much during the day, she'll take mostly hour naps every 3 or 4 hours, unless I drive somewhere and then she'll sleep in the car and usually for a while when we get back home. Maybe you could try feeding your daughter every 2 hours and yes, at night have your husband take over at least one feeding. You need to get rest. I know how you feel, not getting any sleep (with her issues, I was up with my daughter from about 7 am til any time between 12 and 3 am up with her again at 4:30 am and finally get to sleep more than an hour at that point). Get all the help you can, take any offered to you and get some rest. You will be happier, your baby will be happier.

B.,
How I wish I could give you a hug. You're not a bad mom & you're not neglecting your baby. You're just tired & trying to raise a child from a book. Each child is different & as wonderful as they are, sometimes they are overwhelming. Every mom has felt just like you do & if they say they haven't then find another friend to talk with, because they are not being truthful. Use the book as a reference & allow your baby to be herself. I have 6 children & each one was different. One of my children wanted to be fed every 1 1/2 - 2 hours & no one understands what this takes unless they have a child like this; I was on the verge of collapse physically & mentally. You might want to think about giving her a bath just before bedtime & then putting a little rice cereal in a bottle of bmilk, this will give her a little more on her stomach & may allow her to sleep a little longer. Rice cereal digests more easily & quickly in their little stomachs. If her crying continues at night when she is laying down I would call the doctor get her ears checked to make sure she doesn't have an ear infection. Sometimes babies have an ear infection & the only way you know is they do fine when they are laying on your shoulder or sitting upright, but when they lay down the pressure in their ears build up & causes them pain. Babies don't read the book about when they should be sleeping all night. I had some that slept all night early, but one that didn't sleep all night until he was 8 months old, I was a basket case. If it comes down you your health then try a bottle of formula at night to see if if helps her to sleep longer. You have to do what is best for you & the baby.......don't let anyone book or otherwise dictate what is best for you & your family. It took me a long time to learn this lesson, because I was such a people pleaser to my own detriment. I will be praying for you.

I'm sorry... but you must be kidding.
My daughter is 6 months old and she still eats every 4 hours, day or night.

My son did not sleep through the night until he was 10months old. It was rough. He also had colic. Every child is different. Hang in there. Can you hire a mothers help or sitter so you can still pump?

Also, my son was and still is a tummy sleeper. I was worried about SIDS so the first three months he slept on me or hubby. Usually on the recliner. He hated being on his back. We also use a box fan. He loves the white noise. At 19months I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of the box fan.

Don't despair, she will get better about sleeping. I have a son born on 6/26/07 & he started sleeping longer-through the night-around 8 wks. I would & still do bring him into my bed to nurse during the night, as I am also solely breastfeeding. I had a c-section, so this is the only way I could handle things at first, as the incision was too painful & I was very tired also. I am very comfortable with him sleeping next to me & he is too. He does sleep in his crib during the day & when he initially goes down at night. I am not familiar with Babywise, but it sounds similar to other books/programs I have read, like The Happiest Baby on the Block, Secrets of The Baby Whisperer & The Contented Little Baby Book. We also still swaddle him (now 3mos old today) & shush him & bounce him on the exercise ball. He won't take a pacifier.
When you pump, how much are you getting? I find that he sometimes takes more than what I have produced at one pumping session, so I have to add some from another time.
Don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you get some sleep soon...are you trying to nap when she does during the day still? I still do whenever it works out.
Good luck!
K.

B.,

I hate to break this to you but not all babies read the books! I read the bby whisperer which is the same premise as baby wise and in the end I just had to go with my baby's flow. He did not sleep thru the night on a regular basis until he was 6 months old. I know of many moms who's babies are still waking up at 9-10 months, so your baby is doing fine.

Those first few months are tough because it seems the babies go thru growth spurts every couple of weeks...I had days where my son would want to nurse every hour, and it is draining, but when you think you've had enough they settle back down! Just hang in there !!

You WILL get more than 3 hours of sleep in a row eventually!! :)

B.
First of all, stop doing the BabyWise book. It is all wrong for a baby this young. I know it is very hard and tiring but answer all her cries immediately! She is too young to cry it out or sleep long stretches. I wish I could find every copy of BabyWise and burn them. It gives horrible advice.

It doesn't really get easier until about 12 weeks or so. We swaddled my daughter, I nursed around the clock, and she didn't nap well at all until after 3 months. Read Happiest Baby on the Block right now and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child for later on.

Stay away from formula!! This does not give you a break by any means because, trust me, everytime the baby wakes up, you wake up, even if you are not feeding her. Breastmilk is best - formula doesn't even come close! You need a support group to help you out. I belong to Morton Plant Nursing Moms and there is LaLeche League also.

My daughter didn't continuously sleep thru the night until nine months of age. Babies sleep when they are ready and you are doing all the right things with swaddling and noise machine. You really have very little to do with it - the baby sleeps according to her needs. You can only help her to sleep better.

The first few months are crazy! You will be tired all the time and feel frustrated and lonely. It comes with being a new mom. Hang tight - in a few weeks/months it will be so much better and you will be glad you stayed with exclusive breastfeeding.

Best of Luck - P., mom to Kate, 16 months

Dear B.,
Personally, I would throw the book into the back of the closet. Having a newborn baby at home is difficult. My babies did not sleep 4 hours at a time at this age. Who said all babies are the same! They are individuals and should be treated as such.
Breastfed babies feed alot. Is her bed in your room or do you need to walk down the hall to get her through the night? That alone will wear you out. After feeding and diapering my infants I would put them into a baby swing (by my bed) for a few minutes. This seemed to relax them and they did not cry when I transfered them to their bed (also by my bed).
Try to relax and accept the fact that you might not get much sleep for a while. Perhaps a family member can come by in the mornings and help out so you can get a morning nap each day.
The best advice I can give you is to follow your own motherly instincts. You won't go wrong.
Hey...you are not a wimp! I'll bet you are going to be the best mom ever! Good Luck.

B.,
Unfortunately the baby does not read the book .. Please laugh .. you are all stressed out .. I was too, when my first one was born. Some kids are not sleepers .. my two boys (out of three) thought they will miss the world if they sleep even 8 hours in a day (when they were babies...I almost got crazy ..). Time will pass. I bf the first one .. but by second one, I was smarter .. Give two night feeding to your hubby and he can feed formula ...so twice you can sleep at least three to four hours in a strectch. My kids also wanted to be fed very often as bmilk digests very quickly. I asked my mom to feed the baby at 10 PM and then at 4 AM (my hubby had travelling job.. so no help from him). I could sleep from 9 till 12 or 12:30 and then I will feed the baby around 2:30 but I couls sleep till 5:30 or 6;00 at times as formula stays longer in their tummies. The babies and I were happier .. don't worry about confusion of nipples .. Not true at all .. 8 of my girl friends followed my advice (I was the first one to have the kid sin my group) and all of them thanked me for giving practical advice. Your body will soon adjust .. it may take a week or so. If you are too drained, that can cause more issues including drying up bm. Good Luck.

B., my baby is six weeks and I'm also BFing. I have been supplementing from the very beginning, almost every night giving him an extra 2-4 ounces after he nurses. It hasn't seemed to affect my milk supply so I'm not worried about it. You could give it a try and see what happens.
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Maybe some formula will help you and the baby...

Hi B.,

Give it time. I followed Babywise with all 4 of my kids, and I think it's WONDERFUL! But, the problem I have with that book is it makes you feel like if your baby is not falling into place and doing exactly what the book says when it says, that you are doing something wrong. Sometimes, babies do not follow that pattern even when you follow the book very closely. My first did that, too. He never slept longer than 45 minutes for naps... until he was around 4 months old! And one of my daughters had a tough time sleeping for more than 2-3 hours at night for a while, too, but she had it worked out by 9-10 weeks. It's so hard to let them cry when they are little - especially with your firstborn. Be thankful she only cries for 5-10 minutes. If you go to this website http://www.babywisebliss.com.au/support/ they can assign you an online counselor to help give you suggestions. I did that with my firstborn, and it was very helpful to have someone who really knew the Babywise book help me out.

Hang in there! It DOES get better! I'm sure you're doing a great job!

J.

Girl, all I can say is I felt like I was reading my own diary from my first daughter. I'm preparing for the birth of my second daughter in mid-November and just hoping that it isn't as difficult as I remember in those early days. Just hang in there and know that it won't last forever. God bless!

Oh, B.--no, no, no. Very few babies sleep through the night that young, nor do they consolidate naps until quite a bit older. I've heard a lot of women criticize babywise for being too strict, and though I advocate sleep-training I absolutely agree with the criticisms of that book. It creates way too high expectations for new moms to put their babies on a "schedule." Up until three to six months most babies are still waking up three times a night, and very few consolidate their naps until then, too. You might consider pitching that book. But all is not lost, and there's no reason to despair because there are some realistic tips to help you out at this stage:

1. Can your husband get up in the middle of the night to give the baby a relief bottle, or is there anyone in town with you that can watch the baby while you sleep during the day? If you need to get up to pump because you're in pain, do that, but then give someone the bottles of milk and go back to sleep.

2. The best way to get a baby to sleep during the night at this age is to make life at night as boring as possible. You, or a mother's helper, should try to play with the baby whenever she is awake during the day--singing, reading, etc. Then, at night, when she wakes up, feed her, burp her and put her back into her crib. Try to do as much of this in low light as you can. This will signal the child that night time is not fun time, and this will eventually ease the transition into sleeping through the night, even though she cannot be expected to sleep so long at this time.

3. You sound like you might be experiencing post-partum depression. Who do you have in your life right now to support you through this?

You are not weak, you are not a wimp. When I had my first child I had just quit my job, I felt all alone, I was terrified all the time and I was exhausted. And on top of it I kept criticizing my feelings, thinking I was the only one who ever felt that way. Nine months into it and then in the middle of full on postpartum depression I joined a local moms club and found out that everyone had felt the way I did. It's hard to believe, but just the understanding that what I was feeling was NOT uncommon gave me a lot of strength to continue on. You'd be surprised how much energy second guessing and criticizing your own feelings and emotions can take up--and right now you do not need anything sapping any more energy from you.

I think you need to start focusing on all the things you're doing well. You've been breastfeeding for seven weeks! Hooray! Your daughter is growing and healthy! Hooray! I think if you can find someone to help you out so that you can get a litttle more sleep you might be able to see how well you're really doing.

Hey B. I really feel for you, when I had my first daughter I felt exactly the same way for the first year of her life. I wasn't sure if I was doing anything right. My daughter wouldn't latch on right, and she was always really hungry, I tried pumping so that I wouldn't dry out but I wasn't producing enough for her and she still wouldn't latch on properly for the next couple of weeks. I was exhausted, but most of all I felt like a failure for not being able to breastfeed, needless to say all the comments that would come from the older women in my family if i thought about giving my daughter formula. I remember one night it was like 3 am and she wouldn't go to sleep I stayed up with her and read babywise from cover to cover. I started her on formula and I made her take a nap and fall asleep at night by herself. She was about two months before I read it, I slowly started with just naps making her sleep by herself, the first three days were the hardest but by three months she had gotten it and she was sleeping 6 hours at night. With my second daughter I knew to started earlier, but honestly she didn't really sleep through the night until she was two months. She wouldn't take naps either. I know every child is different, but one thing that made me have peace about feeding my daughters formula and using babywise, was the fact that I knew I needed to be ok, so that I can be a better mom for them. It's horrible when we are all cranky and tired around our kids and they get the rough end of it. So do your daughter a favor and take care of yourself so that you can take better care of her.
I hope this helps a little.

Hi B.,
As I read your post I hate to say but it put a smile on my face as it brought back memories of the first weeks I had with my children.
My first born a little boy was a lot like what you describe and my second was totally different. I tried Baby Wise as well and I do think it offers great advice, yet I have found now having 2 kids some fall into the "Baby Wise" way much easier than others. My first did not do so well on it and then my daughter just naturally did everything just like Baby Wise described. So moral of the story try as best you can to listen to your own instincts and things will start falling into place. Also the "Happiest Baby on the Block" by DR.Harvey Karp is a great read with many practical steps for you at this stage and as they get older. Every baby is different and you will get the hang of it and this will all be a distant memory. Best of luck to you and I pray you get a nap with her sometime in the day to get you caught up on the lack of sleep at night. You can do this and I'm sure your an awesome MOM!
Blessings,
P.

B. -

I am so sorry - I know and feel your frustration and exhaustion. I never followed that book - instead I followed my child. I have 3 great wonderful children (ages 13 yr, 9 yr, 2 yr) and nursed them all exclusively. My first 2 were allergic to cow and soy milk, although I didn't know that till later, becuase I was exclusive. Although, I do remember trying once, because I felt like you - but she wouldn't take it. My first one nursed for 12 months, the 2nd for 20 months. It is hard, but worth it. None of my children slept through the night at that time, and I don't think you should expect them to when they are breast fed.

Just sleep when your baby sleeps during the day, the dishes and laundry can wait.

Looking back, the most precious times were the 2 am feedings in the dark. Just me and them.

Hang in there. I remember those blurry eyed days. I went through the same thing with my son (now 5 1/2 months) and he seemed to develop his night sleep habits much later than the average baby. I thought I was going to die. I was almost sorry that I had decided to breastfeed. Just remember, babies have so many growth spurts before they hit 6 months, that your night time feedings will constantly be changing. About the time she gets down to 2 feedings per night, she'll hit a growth spurt and wear you out for a few nights. That's what my little man did.

I have not followed the Babywise book, but the most important thing is BE CONSISTENT with the bedtime routine. Eventually, your baby will know that bedtime is approaching because of the routine and will start to get sleepy. Also, for the hour before bedtime, keep the house pretty quiet, voices low key, lights dim, etc. Make sure that you are getting your baby to bed early enough, too! If they are overtired, they will wake up more easily when put in the crib.

My 5 month old still doesn't have a consistent nap schedule, and sometimes he misses naps completely or they are very brief. I read that night sleep gets organized first, then naps will start to line up (morning naps will be consistent, then afternoon). Then as they get older these naps get longer. 45 minute nap isn't much time for you to get anything done, but it's still a nap and better than no nap at all.

Just hang in there. You're doing everything right. I really remember struggling during that stage and breaking down in tears several times a day because I was so tired and hanging by a thread. You will survive. Just meet the each challenge as it comes. You're not a bad mommy. You have to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of your baby, so letting her cry a little won't hurt her. I even read that crying has the effect of amnesia, and babies quickly forget why they were even crying in the first place. Cool huh?

Take care, B., I hope she improves soon.

J.

7 weeks is a little early to expect her to sleep through the night. I tried BabyWise too but I think you have to take it with a grain of salt and use your common sense. At 4 months, my son started sleeping through the night 7p-7a and has been like clockwork since. Suggest you get Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book for a scientific perspective. It will show you how to recognize her sleep signals so you can put her down for a nap easier and you need to sleep when she sleeps during the day and night. You may want to enlist a friend or family member to help you so you can get a good stretch of sleep in the meantime. Don't feel guilty but cut yourself a break and get some sleep.

Dear B.,

All I can say is hang in there! It does get better. My wonderful little (now 4 year old) bundle of joy (?) :-) was the same way. He did not sleep thru the nite until he was 3 months. And even when my husband forced me to go to a movie and dinner at 2 months - I was too uncomfortable (breastfeeding) and too worried. It was the worst and the best time of my life. I felt like an incompetent emotional wreck. I never had time to shower, or rest. I got sick - A LOT. But the baby was fine. Looking back, I wish I would have done things differnt, maybe next time around I will - who knows. But I do wish I would have let other people help more - including my husband - and I have learned how to ask for help. All I can say is you sound like a wonderful normal mother going thru what is a difficult time. I ended up breastfeeding for 2 years. I had the baby sleep in a bassinet by my bed until he grew long enough not to fit in it! That helped a little. Youre on the back end stretch. Its just about to get better. But seriously, even though my little guy is 4 years old, sleeps through the night in his own bed, I cant remember the last time I got a good nights sleep :-) And next time someone tells you - "you need a break" - Tell them their right - and to come over and do a couple loads of laundry for you...and pick up some dinner as well! Big Hug to you honey! Youre doing a great job - Try and breast feed as long as you can. It gives you some important "feel good" hormones that you are really gonna need for a while. Just remember, you can do this! :-)

B.,
You are doing great, keep up the good work! Nursing is VERY difficult, but can also be VERY worth it. Many babies nurse around the clock for a few months (mine second baby did) and it's perfectly normal.If however, it's proving too diffiuclt or overwhelming or if you are getting at all resentful, please don't feel bad about supplementing or asking for help with other things. I supplemented with my first because I didn't ask for help. I did not supplement with my second, but was sure to have other people bring over dinners, fold laundry, play with my older child, etc. You can't do it all, and that's OK!!! The time between feedings will grow and soon you will find that your baby can handle two to three hours. Then, it will be four. And the next thing you know, you'll be starting rice cereal! Please please please take care of yourself and know that you are doing awesome. Being a new mom is hard, but you are doing it!! Please feel free to email me any time with any questions-I've been through it all.

A.

It's hard being a first time mom, especially when things don't seem to go the way you hoped and you feel terrible about yourself. DON'T!! My advise is to drop the baby wise book because your daughter obviously is not responding to it. If you want to try formula, go ahead, there is nothing wrong with it. Also, please leave the baby whit your husband,only for an hour or two, and go out out on your own dinner, Target whatever, you'll feel better I promise! Good Luck

I had similar probs with my daughter and it turned out to be gas.Bicycle her legs gently and it will usually help with the fusiness as for getting her to sleep through the night I am unsure on that one my little one still wakes up occasionally but she sleeps with us so I barely notice it.

no matter how closeley you follow a book, a book can never tell you what your child needs. i see this all the time in my friends who are following what the book says. what about what your child is telling you? you have to learn that your child is giving you signs that she needs something. my 5 year old has only just now started sleeping through the night where my 2 year old (who was a preemie) slept through the night from about 5 weeks old. I never relied on one of those scams (aka a book to tell you how to deal with your child). i feel like that my child can tell me exactly what she needs when she needs it and if i were you (i am not) i would re evaluate how you are approaching the whole situation with your child. books can't tell you not to feed your child through the night if she is hungry. if she is waking up hungry in the night than that must mean one thing, she is hungry and the resolution will be to feed her. i understand that you are tired. when my youngest was a baby, i was pumping round the clock because she wouldn't take the breast. it was hard work but i did what was best for my child. ultimately this should be your goal to do what is best for your child (not what will make the best solution to parents who buy my book... ).
I am sorry if this opinion steps on toes, but this is how i feel.