"No Gifts, Please"

I would probably say one of the following:

NO GIFTS PLEASE! IF YOU INSIST ON A GIFT, PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO JANE'S COLLEGE FUND

NO GIFTS PLEASE! IF YOU MUST, JANE WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE A DONATION TO HER COLLEGE FUND

I did the same thing with my kids. I just talked with each of the family members individually about what I was hoping for. They seemed to understand completely. Maybe if someone wants to buy them something little for them to open have them buy an inexpensive summer/outside toy or a book. Some people just don't want to let go of the opening a gift thing. But it helps them if they can do both money and small gift. Good luck.

You might try something like...

"OUR DAUGHTER IS VERY BLESSED. IN LIEU OF GIFTS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MAKE A DONATION TO (YOUR DAUGHTER'S NAME HERE) COLLEGE FUND."

My son got a savings bond from his great aunt for christmas and I think thats a great idea. I just wanted to say though...family love to buy presents, especially for a cute little girl! Grammas NEED the birthday excuse to buy that frilly dress or pretty doll. While she may not need MORE toys or clothes, if she gets some you could just donate some of her older toys/clothes to charity or something. While a donation to her college fund is a good thing, birthdays are the time to open presents and eat cake and have fun. I love buying presents for my family (especially the little ones). Even if its just a few toys from the dollar store she should have something to open (they love that ripping and you'll want the pictures) and grandparents and family may really want to see her get excited over the thing they picked out, or see her wear that cute outfit they found. Its a BIRTHDAY! A PARTY! Just my thoughts on it. I think your idea is great, I just think you might could find a way to do both, or not get upset over those who ignore your "no gifts" invite. Have fun, Jen

I think that is a AWESON idea. I would just be really honest about it. I don't think anybody would be offended =)

MAYBE SAY 'NO GIFTS PLEASE BUT ANY DONATIONS TO OUR DAUGHTERS FUTURE (COLLEGE FUND) WOULD BE WONDERFUL'

I understand the situation. My kids have too many toys and clothes also. Furthermore, I saved all of my teenage daughter's lifetime of toys, dolls & clothes, barbies, books, bedding, Poke'mon cards, movies, ninja turtles... need I go on. So, I have a lifetime of gifts already pre-packaged and ready to give to my new babies when they "hit the phase".

Almost every year I put a comment on the new babies birthday invitations about this subject. Lets see if I can find a Copy & Paste of this year's.... hang on.... OH, here it is~~

Special Note to Hunter’s School Friends:

Thank you for being friends with Hunter. You are invited to his Birthday Party, but you may not know his sister Lilly who is having her 2 year old party on the same day. She’s a sweet girl but, she’s tough because she lives with Hunter all the time. She likes to play with all of his toys just as much as she loves her own baby dolls. (hint-hint)

Both Hunter and Lilly have a lot of toys so it would be just fine to give one present to the both of them such as a game (bowling game, wack-a-mole) or something they can share like chaulk, outside toys, or a movie.

We look forward to having you over for the party. It’s going to be a lot of fun. If you have any questions, please, call me.

-the end-

See how I make the hint that they both have plenty of toys... how only one present for both would be good... how they play with each other's toys so Lilly is pretty well set... and I make suggestions about re-plenishable or re-usable toys like outside toys (bubbles), books, movies.

The last thing we need is more toys in the house.

Also, I don't tell people that they CAN'T give a gift because I know that my family enjoys shopping. I just set a hint of boundary around it.

Moving on ----

An idea: A theme party. I thought of this idea but went with the double birthday for both kids this year instead. However, I think my idea is great. How about a "table time" theme party? Where the kids bring gifts related to "table time" such as playdough, cut outs, paper, safety scissors, new box of crayons, a pack of stickers, finger paints, coloring books, water paints, a game... you get the idea. I figure that if the gift can fit on a table, maybe I can find a storage spot for it. This might be a good idea for you for next year when your little sweety is turning Two. Both you and her will like to have some quiet play time at the table with playdough at that point.

Just keep it in mind. It's just another example of still being open to the gift receiving, but just setting some boundaries around it.

Hi M.!

My company www.worldwidechild.com currently plants a tree with every purchase and has had great success with Trees for the Future, a Tax-Exempt Non-Profit Organization. Here is their webpage: http://www.treesftf.org/donate.php. They have gift certificates available. The simpler the better, is such a great gift!

I agree with Erica. If you don't feel comfortable putting this in writing you could bring up the subject with a few of the relatives and if your family is like mine it'll get around. You could just present your dilemma as you have to us. That way you're not directly asking for college fund gifts. In my family we would just say, in person, "hey, baby just doesn't need anything but a gift towards the college fund would be great."

My family would do both. A small inexpensive gift so that the baby can be watched playing with it, along with a check. Because we're a very open family, people would not make comparisons or feel that they needed to give more than they could afford or would've spent on a more expensive gift.

I also think that a diplomatically worded note on the invitation, such as those suggested, would also be alright. You could make it personal by adding a thank you for any gifts that they have given before.

I went to an adult's birthday party and the invitation said no gifts. And then the person hosting the party talked informally to us ahead of time suggesting that there would be literature available so that we could donate to her charity of choice. At the party this info was in a bowl off to the side making it easy to both give or not give. We could drop some money in the bowl if we wanted or not. That way there would be no comparison as to who gave and who didn't or how much. Perhaps it would be possible to have a savings acct book out so that your guests could see where the money was going.

Or just state the bank and acct number on the invitation along with the note about no gifts. Anyone can make a deposit.

Or you could talk to someone who would also think this is a great idea and they could present this as their idea and arrange to collect the money ahead of time and present you with one check. All you would do is write please no gifts. Baby has enough or some such explaination.

A college fund sounds like a great idea if your family usually spends large amounts for gifts. Our family's gifts were more token than valuable ($20 or so) and so it wouldn't be worth the effort to pull the college fund idea off for this birthday. She'll expect gifts before too long. But informally letting family members know that you do have a college fund would give them that option throughout the years.

Hi M. ... what a great idea for your daughter's birthday. People do love to buy presents, but ... for a 1 year old, they aren't necessary (she will not really know the difference).

I think there is no tackiness to any part of it ... I would maybe write a little paragraph (maybe just printed on a separate card from your computer) that says "_____ is already so blessed with a full closet and toychest! Gifts are optional. However, as gifts and kid's birthdays go hand-in hand, we are accepting donations for _________ charity and _________'s college fund."

Then I'd set up a table for people to place birthday cards, as well as 2 jars (maybe non-see-through) for the charity and for her college fund. In thank-you cards, you can report how much money was raised for charity and/or her college fund.

I'm sure it will be a beautiful day! :)
~Tracy

I don't know about a child's birthday but when my grandma turned 80, we said specifically "no gifts"(she's in a nursing home with little space) and many were fine(just gave cards) with that but there were the die hard few that insisted on something we respectfully accepted them. I just think most people assume if their going to a party they need to bring a gift. maybe on the invite put "Gift cards are welcome if you feel the need to gift" and then give a list of most shopped places or you could say "in lieu of gifts baby sitting/house cleaning services greatly appreciated" hope this helps. Have a great birthday party. S.

I'd be honest. "As far as gifts go, she doesn't really need any toys, or clothes, as we have plenty, but if you want to get her something of value, we have a savings account set up for college that you could donate into." Something along that line. And I'm sure it being family only, they wouldn't get offended by the suggestion. Hood Luck, and Happy Birthday! To your little one. :)

I think that, that is a very wise idea. Also, if someone can not understand that... it is unfortunate for them. You are looking out for your child in the long run, instead of now. Future happiness counts for a lot more and I wish I would have had that idea when I had my son's 1st bday party last week.
If you have an account set up already... I would just put in the invite where they can donate money.
I did a paperless invite and made suggestions for people and encouraged them to call me. That way I made sure there were no doubles or anything he couldnt use. I told everyone tho.. anything educational, and books. There will be people who just have to buy the baby a gift. So perhaps... highlight that you really would like the donation, but if they insist getting her a gift, they each can buy her one book, so she has something to open. I know that is how all my friends and family felt. They just wanted to see that smile on his face, when he opened their gift. It isnt always about the baby, they like feeling good about themselves too. Good luck and it sounds like an amazing idea!
~H.

Personally, I think asking for donations to a college fund is like asking for money, and is very tacky. Doesn't matter the wording.

A friend of mine had a birthday party, and informed everyone that if the child received toys, they would be donating toys to charity. That's an option.

I think it's really honorable of you to do this. You might write something like In lieu of gifts please make donation to .... or maybe we'd love it if you could come to her party and gifts are unnessary however if you would like to make a donation to.... instead please feel free to do so.
That way, people don't fell like their being invited just to get a gift. And especially since it's mostly family, they will surely understand. Good luck. I'm interested to know how you go about this.

I think there is no better way to teach children about the importance of appreciation and giving than to make their birthday celebration more about giving than receiving.

Yes, a child should be celebrated, but it is possible to do it without making gift giving the central event of the day. There are so many fun things to do at birthday parties. I love the idea of making contributions in whatever way someone might want.

When our grandchildren were born, my husband and I decided that for their birthdays we would give each a book and we would make a contribution to a children's charity in their name.

For the first years, up to age five, we selected the charity.

This year, our two older grandchildren turned six. I selected three charities that I thougtht might interest them and explained the concept (in earlier years, I wrote something for the child about the charity which their moms are keeping in their baby books), then let them make the choice.

They took this very seriously.

Zoe was absolutely THRILLED to give money to a horse rescue group that sent her a photo of the horse her donation was helping. Evan chose a group that is rebuilding playgrounds in New Orleans.

Teaching our children that there are others who don't have what our children are fortunate to have and having them participate in whatever way they are able, is the best gift we as grandparents can give them. And it is one that will last a lifetime.

Oh and I forgot, whenever we have a party, whether for us or our kids or grandchildren, we ask for donations for the local food bank. Last year we filled four bags with goodies and I got to deliver it. Happy birthday me :)

Warmly,

L.
www.CoachWithLynn.com

I think your idea is a fabulous one. I'm going to do the same thing for my twins' first birthday! What I will write will be something like: "The twins have plenty of clothes and toys, so please do not bring a gift. We only want the pleasure of your company at their very first birthday party. For you diehards who absolutely HAVE to give them something, we be honored if you could donate a small amount on their behalf to Toys for Tots or, if you would prefer, we would also be very grateful for a small donation into their college funds."