Not Ready to Wean My Baby I'm a Sad Mama

I think that it is fantastic that you breastfeed and have solely for this long. My son is now going on 24 months and he is still breastfed. He didn't start solids until 8 months and had trouble digesting so he was primarily breastfed as nutrition up to one year. Now it is for nutritional support and bonding. I never thought I would be breastfeeding this long but I think it is important to let the child self wean with some extra help from you. We are moving soon so I plan on weaning after the move. His dimeanor and overall attitude toward life is happy and vibrant. I truly feel it is directly related to the breastfeeding relationship. good luck! :)

If you don't want to wean, don't! The Academy of Pediatricians recommends nursing for 2 years, or as long as both mother and baby want to. I nursed my older daughter till just past her 4th birthday, younger is 2.5 and going strong. I think it is an important source of comfort in those toddler years when there are so many changes going on in their lives and bodies and minds.

Biting is common, and a pretty easy habit to dissolve. Just break the latch immediately when she bites (which you naturally do anyway! --but it's easier on you if you use your finger) and let her see you "put the breast away." Then no nursing for long enough for her to get the message (could be 5 minutes, could be till next session, depending on how hungry she is.) It usually only takes a few times for the baby to get the message and quit the biting. Good luck!

Good job nursing for as long as you have! There really is no reason to wean right now if you don't want to. Breastmilk/formula should be their main source of nutrition through the entire first year, even though they start solids. If the biting is the problem, you can work through it. Here's a great link with info to help: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html

Hi S.!
I BFed my little one til she was about 14 months old and we went through all the teething and biting you described. Something you have to remember...she's teething, so it's not out of the ordinary that she'd want to gnaw on something, even if it's you! OUCH! When my baby started biting me while I was nursing her, I would immediately unlatch her and put her away from me (usually on the bed), say "no biting!" and give her a minute before we resumed. (She'd usually cry) It only took a few times and she got it that it wasn't acceptable to bite her mother.

Another thing to remember is that it hurts some babies to suck while they're teething, so that might be why she's not as excited about nursing at the moment. If you want to keep at it, just keep offering her the breast. If she doesn't take it, be sure to pump so you keep your supply up and feed her by bottle...but keep offering to nurse her. I'll bet you she'll come back to it.

Good luck!
Hilary

There is no reason to wean your littel girl if you are not ready to!!! My grandson is 22 months old and still nurses, although not nearly as much as he did when he was 7 month sold, of course. AS for the "biting"....you can teach her that isn't the right thing to do. When you see her starting to clench her muscles and bite down...put your hand either on the back of her head or touch the side of her mouth with her finger and say something like 'oh honey that hurts Mama you don't want to do that"....she will learn not to do that. If she continues to but after cautioning her a time or to, take her off of the breast for a few minutes to reinforce the idea. Breastmilk has been the IDEAL food for her for the past 7 months, now that milk will start to change in composition because she is getting older and is going to be getting some of her nutrition from other sources but the breast milk is STILL an excellent source of nutrition for her and the two of you will enjoy the quiet bonding time that it provides!!!
R. Ann

I didn't read any other responses, but with my son (breastfed exclusively for first six months, never had formula, never given cow's milk until around 18 months), my ped told me whenever he bites to remove him from the breast and tell him no biting. Give it back and if he bites again, wait a little longer to give it back. If he does it again, tell him he must be done. It takes a little 'training,' but your baby will get it! Just like she had to learn how to latch, she will learn not to bite. You are not depriving her, you are really enabling yourself (and her) to extend the nursing time and duraion if you teach her this now. Blessings on wanting the best! Continued success to you!!

I applaud your decision to wean, empathize with your emotions, & agree...if you think it's time, then do it without remorse. There is no set guideline, & this is your option and choice.

It's a.o.k. to wean, & after reading your entry, I think the angst lies more with your emotions toward your baby. Since your marriage is "stressful", the feedings provide you with a sense of one-on-one & serenity which may be lacking elsewhere in your life. Please don't allow yourself to use your time with your baby as a crutch....allow her to grow, allow her to spend time with other adults, & allow yourself to grow emotionally strong enough to trust others with your child. You have other children, have been thru this process before....let her also have that freedom. It's always hard to let go of the "baby" in the family, but you have to....it's not fair to yourself, the baby, & your other family members. I sincerely wish you Peace.

As the mom of 9- all of whom I have breastfed- the last is 3 years old, and he still nurses from time to time. When she starts to bite- quickly bring her in real close- it startles her and you say 'ouch' or 'no- hurts' or whatever to get her to understand that you can't bite. All of my kids have bitten from time to time, and this has worked for me. I have even tandem nursed- two at a time- so- don't give up your breastfeeding- this is something that will pass, and your milk adjusts to the age of the baby- it is always the perfect food for them - no matter what age- my last was over 1 year old before he had any other type of food- he wasn't interested in anything but boobs :) so don't worry about your baby not getting enough of the 'right food' your milk is the 'right food' good luck- and if you need any more help- contact me- would love to help. S.

hi... i know how you feel.. i fully nursed my last child who is almost 4 she only just weaned this past late summer.. boy those teethies really can hurt. i had to get very stern and learn to slip my finger Yep i had it poised near as can be to her mouth when she was teething.. i would much rather she bit my finger than my breast lol... it took a couple weeks each time to remind her to not bite.. giving her alot of munching toys/ foods during daytime also helped.. i think its always sad to wean your child at any age or stage. I think your feeling more so because its not by choice.

S. I have breast fed each of my three kids and each one nursed differently, but I nursed my first child the longest ( he was almost a year when we cut out the night time feeding before bed, but I nursed frequently until he was almost 9 and half months old, so well into teething, if he accidentally bit I would remove him from the breast
( insert your pinky finger to break suction ) and I would say firmly "no that hurts " and would let him resume nursing. It did take a while, and I was not above using a little bit of orajel on him before I nursed or using teething tablets ( they are all natural) they also sell these gel pads that you can put on sore nipples that are heaven sent! I know what you mean about the bonding and the special time and not wanting to give it up, with my daughter she decided to quit nursing abruptly at 6 months and I was devastated! Congratulations for sticking with it for so long, if it gets to painful you could always pump for a while, they don't teeth forever ( sometimes it just seems like it! = ) Lots of luck!
B.

S.,

I too breastfed my children, all are grown now and some have kids of their own. My daughter and daughter-in-laws asked me how to deal with them biting. I tried the telling them that hurt, but what worked the best for me was to simply make them quit eating telling them, you can't bite that hurts, then about 10 minutes later I would start nursing them again, they quickly learned not to bite!! As far as weaning, my question would be WHY? If your baby was on a bottle would you take the bottle away at 7 months? Think of nursing in that way and wean when you are ready!

You can start solids and not wean for a good while yet. ;) No reason at all to wean her, at only 7 mos! Try offering solids (baby foods) first, then breastmilk....if she is less hungry she may be less likely to bite. Also try something to help lesson the pain, like stick a damp (damp, not soaked@) washcloth in the freezer and let her suck/chew on that for a bit first then nurse; or have a teether. For some babies, it works well to tell them "ouch" or "no" in a loud, firm (not yelling!) voice and putting them down when they bite, to teach them not to do that. A friend of mine taught her little one to bite her shirt....worked well for her, didn't for me & my son...but worth trying.
The thing to remember is that your LO's mouth is hurting, and biting down on something relieves that pain.... conversely, the inverse pressure created by nursing makes it hurt more. She doesn't realize at this point she is hurting you - just trying to get rid of the pain in her own mouth so she can eat.

S., I know exactly how you feel! And Im afraid you have a case of last baby syndrome. I tormented myself because my son wouldnt breastfeed. I pumped for him as long as I could and I was so sad that we didnt have a breastfeeding bond. When I went to put my breastpump away for good, I almost cried. Its so hard! I think its completely normal, and you should do whatever you are comfortable with. If you so decide to stop, there are other ways you can bond with her. Shes growing fast, and thats hard to accept. Good Luck, I feel your pain. I cried like a baby on his first birthday. It comes so fast!!!

One thing I'd like to say to you is that the bond you develop with your child while breastfeeding is never lost. That's something that will be with the two of you as long as you live. I do understand the sadness that you feel though. It's just the beginning of the "letting go" processes that all mothers must go through.

Find joy in the fact that she had the healthiest start that a baby could have! You've done a great job and you should take pride in that fact!

Watch her grow and start turning into the wonderful person that she's meant to be and know that you are doing the very best that you can to make sure she is well cared for and loved. Let those things bring you joy when you're feeling sad. This is just the beginning, Dear.

On a last note, you wean only when you are ready. There are things you can do to break the biting...I've read plenty of good responses. If you decide to wean, it's fine! If you decide not to, Great! It's your choice, and whatever you choose I have no doubt will be with the best intentions for you and your baby.

Best wishes!

S.