Notice Attention Issues with 5-Year-old Boy

Updated on November 29, 2007
D.R. asks from Omaha, NE
14 answers

I need assistance getting my 5 year old son ready for kindergarten. He is a polite, smart, and outgoing child. But when it is time to do his lesson he zones out during the lesson. His father and I choose to hold him from kindergarten due to we felt maturity wise he was not ready. I love my son, but am afraid he avoids school work due to he is not understanding. Has anyone been through this with any of there children?

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So What Happened?

Ladies,
Thank you for ALL your advice. While reading the entries I related to everyone of the entries and am glad that there is a website of this nature. So the game plan will be, allow my son to be a 5-year old and continue to give him fun and learning environments that are not boring. Also, I will get his vision check.
Thank you again

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R.W.

answers from Des Moines on

I had this problem and we were told my specialists that he was (after testing) a genius and that the school work was not interesting enough. Yet he would read the encyclopedias just for the fun of it. When we put him in special programs that were able to get his attention he did very well. He went through the Army at the top of his class.

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T.F.

answers from Lincoln on

This sounds like my nephew. He wasn't interested in any close up play or toys or books but would stand for long minutes looking out the window. They had his vision tested and he needed glasses. He could focus on things out the window, but not close up.
When my son was 5 he loved to be read to and absolutely refused to learn to read. We held him back from K one year. He still would not learn to read. He'd cover his eyes and say "I don't want to learn to read!" One day toward the end of K he came home and said "I can read now mom." And proceeded to read Swift Family Robinson, no pictures, full length book. It took him all summer. Every once in a while I asked him what was going on in his book and he would tell me. Two or three times he asked me about a word. I didn't say much because I was afraid I'd give him the impression he was too young to be reading that book. He is now in college and still loves to read. (He still loves to be read to!)
He was that way with learning to ride his bike also, just didn't see any reason to ride a bike. Then one day he came in the house and said "I can ride my bike now Mom."
I think every clild wants to learn and we need to let them explore their own learning styles. I think sometimes parents and Kindergarten do more harm than good expecting all children to have the same learning styles.
Remember it's been proven we use only 10% of our brain so we want to be careful not to put them in that box and not expect more of them than that.
Knowing that, I tried to treat my children like they were smarter than me. I figured if I only use 10% of my brain theirs is still fresh and new, maybe they can be encouraged by birth to stimulate more activity there.
Be outside often. there are so many things in nature to stimulate interest in children and they love being outside. Sit down lessons are just boring in comparison.

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Does he go to daycare? or preschool?
Try taking him to story time at your local library, and cut back on the T.V.

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M.B.

answers from Provo on

As a teacher of a preschool in the past, and a secondary educator now, my first question for you is how is his television watching? Despite the media pushes for "educational movies, t.v.," and or other "learning" activities via the television, the Academy of Pediatrics actually says that a child should not watch any television until the age of 2 and from 2-6 it should be minimal: 1/2 hour at the most. I've seen a lot of kindergarteners have major problems with attention span and social issues because the watch too much t.v.
From a preschool standpoint, I would also suggest that if you are afraid he is not understanding, that you get him enrolled in another learning type program--a preschool or a Montessori, if he is not already attending school. I think holding him back from school will only do him harm in the short and long run because you are holding him back from the opportunity to improve in this area as well.
Also, understand that all children learn differently. Few actually learn by sitting at a desk and listening to the teacher. Most (especially this age) are Kinesthetic learners--they need to be moving and doing things to understand. They need hands on examples--to be able to see and touch and hold what they are learning about for it to really sink in. It may, therefore, be the teacher who needs to incorporate more activities into the lesson, rather than trying to teach children in a way they cannot learn. If he's having problems learning the material and the teacher won't or can't teach in a way that will help him focus and learn, then you can step in at home by creating these hands on opportunities and activities that will teach him what he needs to know.

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H.R.

answers from Boise on

Does he get much interaction with other kids his age? That may be a solution, have some kids over to play with him. :) When they start kindergarden, even if they're in daycare or preschool, they get lots of interaction with other kids, so if he's home alone with you all day, and there are no other kids his age to interact with, that may be the problem. He may also be bored. Try funning up the activities you are working on with him. Just a couple of ideas, I hope they help. :)

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M.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

I wonder how you decided he wasn't mature enough for school? No 5 year olds are mature, and all have their own quirks, habits, and opinions. Kindergarten is a group experience for learning social skills as well as a place to get an academic preparation, so I'd suggest not worrying about "getting him ready", except be sure he knows basics like the names of colors, and if he's interested, knowing the alphabet and counting and recognizing the letters and numbers. But don't worry about it. The kindergarten teacher will be prepared to take a diverse bunch of children and prepare them academically and encourage them to develop appropriate skills, too.
Your child is polite, smart, and outgoing. What a joy! And he'll be appreciated by his kindergarten teacher for these qualities, too.
Talk school up to him. Kindergarten's not all about academics (and if you find it's that way in your school system, they're not doing it right -- there should be a balance of body movement, academics, arts, free play, etc.). Your child will take to kindergarten best if you talk positively to him about it, or even take him to visit a kindergarten classroom and watch.

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R.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

Boys are not really ready to go to Kindergarden at age five. Research shows that boys shouldn't really start schooling to age 7 or 8 (sometimes older). This is one of the many reasons we are homeschooling our boys. They can run around and learn things hands on the way that boys learn best. Boys also learn to read much later than girls.
Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

He will probably be fine. It is very common for children to zone out if you are trying to get them to complete something. When I had been trying to help my daughter prepare for kindergarten she did ok but got distracted easily but then when we went to meet her teacher and she did a pre-test just to see where she was at she did way better than I thought she would. Teachers have little tricks to help kids stick to the task at hand. I would take him to meet the teacher when the time comes and see what he/she thinks. I hope this helps.

A.

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A.A.

answers from Kalamazoo on

At 5 years old, I doubt there is anything wrong with your son, except that he wants to be 5 and run and play and do all that stuff. Our kids start school so early in my opinion and shouldn't be expected to sit so long so young. At 5 learning should be fun and creative and interactive. They should have lots of time to run and play and explore and to learn from every day experiences. So much can be learned without sitting down to "do a lesson!" I would encourage you to get creative. Every kid learns differently (by visual, auditory, tactile, etc) so think about that too.

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

So he is not actually in Kindergarten now, you are just trying to get him to do some lessons at home? My guess is that he is avoiding school work due to boredom and the bigger issue is your expectations. He already learns so much through play and helping you around the house. I really think you just need to back off. Kindergarten won't start for 10 more months. He's going to mature a lot in that time.

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H.

answers from Provo on

I read an article recently that was incredibly enlghtening. It talked about how much of a disservice we do to our children by praising their accomplishments and saying "you are so smart." Instead we should say "you worked so hard to learn that, I am so proud of how much effort you put into learning or doing that. Great trying, I know as you keep trying you are going to succeed and do so well."

I don't know if that helps or not but maybe praising his effort on his lessons will help motivate him. I do tend to agree with the other moms though in that being 5- the attention is just not real focused on anyone thing for very long. And cutting down on TV will do wonders (hmmm, I think I needed to hear that too :))

One final thought is that you have already set your boy up for success- he is polite, outgoing, smart and you are helping him be mature and ready for school. If you think he is struggling to understand something- make it a game and a fun focus thoughout the day so that he gets the repetition for comprehension.

Best of luck

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J.H.

answers from Sheboygan on

His lack of attention may be a vision problem and a problem that is not obvious... he probably sees fine but can't keep the eyes on task. It is very common... 1 in 3 children are miss-diagnosed with ADD and it is actually a vision problem.

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B.M.

answers from Bismarck on

We have had the same problems with our son. We started noticing it when he was 3yrs. and in preschool. We held him back because we also felt he was not ready. When he did start he couldn't focus and his learning was really suffering. We started journaling times, dates, and circumstances when we noticed he couldn't pay attention. Then we went to our doctor with the notes. He is now 5 yrs old, diagnosised with ADD/HD, being treated with meds and now it doing so well. We did a lot of research and changed our lives to better suit his needs and the difference is worth its weigh in gold. We feel like we now have this little boy we never knew because he couldn't focus enough to tell us and show us. I hope this helps.

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S.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I am a retired preschool teacher and I am wondering if your son is attending preschool and if not, why not. Also, what "lessons" are you talking about? Are you trying to teach him the alphabet or something else? Are you doing this through play? That is the best way to teach a preschooler. They are not really capable of sitting through a "lesson".

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